Conflict Coach with Dr. Emily Taylor

Dr. Emily Taylor coaches Kristy, who is struggling to advocate for herself at work and now faces discipline that could result in her firing. The longer you wait to acknowledge your own needs in a conflict, the harder it becomes. Kristy has spent more than a decade keeping her vision loss a secret at work, even though she has a legal right to receive assistance. Now that her eyesight is affecting her ability to do her job, Kristy feels like her needs are a burden to others, but also that she’s being treated unfairly by her boss. Dr. Emily helps Kristy brainstorm ways to resolve the conflict while confidently addressing her own needs. In this episode you’ll learn how to: - Avoid premature problem-solving - Feel confident identifying and expressing your needs - Find a mentor to guide you in the conflict Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media: @conflictcoachwithdremily CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to The Conflict Coach 01:11 Trouble at Work 02:49 Worsening Eyesight and Accommodations 06:26 Avoiding Premature Problem-Solving 08:30 Identifying Needs 12:08 Honoring Needs 15:15 Brainstorming Options 21:55 Conclusion and Takeaways

Tired of feeling overwhelmed by conflict in your life? Learn the skills to confidently handle any conflict, as certified mediator Dr. Emily Taylor coaches real people through real conflicts in their lives. From family struggles to workplace disputes, neighborhood conflicts to in-law disagreements, each episode of Conflict Coach with Dr. Emily Taylor gives you concrete strategies to find the root of a conflict, identify solutions and create positive change. Dr. Emily Taylor’s passion for helping others gain the confidence to navigate conflict comes from her personal experience (she’s a married mom of five!) and her professional life (PhD in psychology, certified conflict mediator, author of the books “Conflict Fluent” and “Raising Mediators.”) Conflicts are inevitable, but they don’t have to ruin your life. Let Dr. Emily Taylor be your guide to building the life you want. Conflict Coach with Dr. Emily Taylor is a BYUradio podcast. New episodes every other Tuesday starting February 4. Connect with Dr. Emily on social media @conflictcoachwithdremily.

Dr. Emily Taylor coaches Tina whose 11-year-old son is being harassed by another boy at school. Tina admits she usually tries to avoid confronting issues directly, but felt an important boundary was crossed and she needed to make sure the school was addressing the problem. Now Tina’s worried how the fallout from the conflict will affect her son at school and her own social interactions with the other boy’s parents. Dr. Taylor offers guidance on enforcing healthy boundaries and helps Tina role-play to prepare for an awkward social interaction. In this episode you’ll learn how to: -Establish and maintain healthy boundaries. -Process your emotions by role-playing before a tense encounter. -Prioritize the relationships that are most important to you in a conflict. Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media: @conflictcoachwithdremily CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to the Conflict Coach 00:48 Meet Tina and Her Conflict 06:33 Understanding Boundaries in Conflict 11:57 Role-Playing the Confrontation 17:46 Reflecting on the Parent-Child Relationship 21:35 Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Dr. Emily Taylor coaches Sara - a young professional in her 30s - who is being treated unkindly by a coworker. Peer relationships often experience the most conflict because there are so many opportunities for friction. Sara’s coworker is also a friend who helped her get the job and now seems to be looking for any reason to disagree and dismiss Sara’s opinions. Dr. Emily coaches Sara through a role-playing exercise to help her gain insight into her coworker’s motivations. Together they explore ways that Sara might build warmth and camaraderie in the relationship, even if her coworker is unwilling to directly address the conflict. In this episode you’ll learn how to: -Identify the“fundamental attribution error” in your judgment of the other person’s behavior. -Use the TRIP acronym to identify what your conflict is really about. -Recognize when direct confrontation is not the best approach in conflict. Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media: @conflictcoachwithdremily CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 00:48 Meet Sara and Her Conflict 03:38 Why the Conflict is Hurtful to Sara 09:52 Role-Playing to Understand Her Coworker’s Perspective 13:52 Beware of the “Fundamental Attribution Error” 18:00 The TRIP Acronym 24:17 Sara Has a Surprising Realization 25:12 Key Takeaways and Conclusion

Dr. Emily Taylor helps Morgan sort through the pain of being cut off by her sister and options for moving forward. Family estrangement is incredibly painful and surprisingly common. An estimated one-quarter of all adults in the US are estranged from a close family member. But reconciliation can - and often does - happen. In this coaching session, Dr. Emily offers Morgan a chance to talk through her understanding of why the estrangement has happened and the meaning she’s attached to it. Together they consider what Morgan’s needs are in the relationship with her sister and how she might re-establish contact when her sister refuses to take her calls. In this episode you’ll learn how to: - Begin the process of reconciliation with an estranged family member. - Recognize when you’re making assumptions about what another person’s actions mean. - Identify the interest that’s driving your position in a conflict. - Approach relational repair in smaller, more effective steps. Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media: @conflictcoachwithdremily Dr. Karl Pillemer blog post on reconciling after family estrangement: https://www.karlpillemer.com/psychology-today-on-fault-lines-and-family-estrangement/ You might also like this recent episode of Top of Mind with Julie Rose: “The Surprising Truth About Reconciliation After Estrangement” https://www.byuradio.org/top-of-mind-the-surprising-truth-about-reconciliation-after-estrangement CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to The Conflict Coach 00:49 Meet Morgan: Family Text Conflict 03:53 Morgan's Perspective and Struggles 08:18 Exploring Solutions and Reconciliation 12:44 Dr. Emily's Insights on Family Estrangement 16:35 Morgan's Path to Repairing Relationships 26:48 Final Thoughts and Skills Recap

Dr. Emily Taylor helps a mid-career professional to consider the root of a work conflict. When we’re filled with regret about something we’ve done or said in the past, it can be difficult to see a path forward in conflict. Finding compassion for ourselves can help us see missteps as learning opportunities to do better in the future. In this coaching session, Dr. Emily helps Rachel identify why she feels such a deep sense of self-betrayal over a big decision she made to change careers. Together they consider how addressing her internal conflict may help Rachel resolve problems she’s having with her new boss. In this episode, you will learn how to: - Listen to your gut for insight into what matters most to you. - Look back on your past actions with compassion. - Reframe mistakes or failures as opportunities to do things differently in the future. Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media: @conflictcoachwithdremily 00:00 Introduction to The Conflict Coach 00:49 Meet Rachel: Career Change Struggles 04:43 Rachel's Internal Conflict 12:56 Self-Compassion and Reframing 24:18 Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Dr. Emily Taylor helps a manager prepare to meet with an angry employee. When you feel under attack in a tense meeting, it’s natural to react in ways that make the situation worse. Try practicing your approach to the meeting ahead of time. In this coaching session, Dr. Emily does a series of role-playing exercises to help Elizabeth prepare a script for her next meeting with an employee who has expressed frustration with Elizabeth’s management style. In this episode, you will learn how to: -Rehearse for a tough conversation in a conflict. - Know when to speak and when to listen. - Notice cues in a conflict that signal the other person’s needs. Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media: @conflictcoachwithdremily 00:00 Introduction to The Conflict Coach 00:49 Meet Elizabeth: The Conflict at Work 01:16 Elizabeth's Perspective on the Conflict 06:19 Dr. Taylor's Insights on Conflict Resolution 11:23 Role-Playing the Resolution 31:16 Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways

Dr. Emily Taylor coaches a homeowner in conflict with his neighbor over parking. The story you’re telling yourself about a conflict may have important gaps that are preventing you from finding resolution. In this episode, Dr. Emily coaches Logan to consider the narrative he’s created of a disagreement with his neighbor over parking that has escalated to threats of calling the police. In this episode, you will learn how to: - Consider the conflict from the other person’s perspective. - Re-examine the mode of communication you’re using in a conflict. - Know when to settle for partial resolution of a conflict. Let us know how these strategies work in your own life! Email Dr. Emily at conflictcoach@byu.edu or connect with her on social media @conflictcoachwithdremily 00:00 Introduction to The Conflict Coach 00:49 Meet Logan and His Parking Conflict 01:12 Logan's Perspective and Initial Actions 05:04 Understanding the Neighbor's Concerns 09:15 Exploring Possible Solutions 13:50 Reflecting on Communication and Relationships 21:41 Key Takeaways and Conflict Resolution Tips 28:43 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview