Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri

I am not a fan of the saying “let’s agree to disagree”, it can be so passive aggressive. But it’s the title of Gabrielle Rifkind’s new book and maybe this pass-agg comment deserves an upgrade. Regular listeners may remember Gabrielle from a podcast we did four years ago called The Delicate Art of Managing Differences. The world has - sadly - become ever more fractured, which trickles down to our every day relationships so who better to get to help us navigate these schisms than Gabrielle who, as well as being a psychotherapist is the founder and director of The Oxford Process, which is a conflict resolution organisation. She’s also an expert in human conflict, and, as a mediator, often goes into war torn areas to reduce tension between warring parties. She’s worked in the Middle East, Asia and Europe. But as we’ll hear she’s not always great at managing conflict in every day life - as she is human!In this episode we talk about why you can’t agree with everyone, or - annoyingly - get everyone to agree with you. How to manage tricky family or social situations where you’re with someone with really opposing views.Why that’s not necessary to be friends with someone, or even particularly like them. I know that sometimes I find myself feeling contaminated even just talking to someone with really opposing views, almost as if I’m complicit simply by listening.We also discuss how to stop a disagreement turning into an argument. And we look at what’s at the heart of most people’s disagreements and need for harmony.This episode gave me a lot of food for thought and I hope it provides that for you, too.If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Lucy and I discuss how to do hard things, such as face adversity. Much as we all like to believe in an Enid Blyton [insert whichever imaginary world brought you comfort as a child] world the reality is often very different. We talk about Professor Lucy Easthope's new book: Come What May, Life-Changing Lessons for Coping with Crisis which looks at this very subject. Lucy and I are also in conversation in previous podcasts talking about her book When The Dust Settles (and how to plan) and her very personal journey in the episode about Baby Loss.Lucy is the UK's leading authority on disaster recovery. She's been an advisor for pretty much every major disaster in the last 20 years. She has a degree in Law, a PhD in medicine, and a Master's in Risk Crisis and Disaster Management. She's a Visiting Professor in Mass Fatalities and Pandemics at the University of Bath and a Research Associate at the Joint Center for Disaster Research at Massey University in New Zealand.Here we talk about how to face up to difficult times, when telling the truth is necessary and healing but also when to use the Good Lie. Lucy uses her considerable experience in helping us to cope with crises big and small.If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast was inspired by Graham Music's book of the same name, Womb Life which is the best book on pregnancy I've ever read.Graham and I talk about the secret life of twins in the womb and how their observed behaviour (via ultra sound) can translate to life outside the womb, too. Why did one little boy shake all his toys? What was he looking for? Do babies really cry in the womb? We find out in this episode.What can affect a foetus? How much does stress and nutrition matter? Does it matter if your grandmother was stressed whilst she was pregnant with one of your parents?How and why do some of the baby's cells end up in the mother way after birth?I found this a fascinating episode and Graham's book (which is a strong recommend) goes into even more detail and scientific research.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Find out more about Graham and buy his books: https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, an idea suggested by my conversationalist, clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal, we explore the big, painful emotion of loss.We tend to body swerve feeling or thinking about loss, and who can blame us? It hurts, it’s horrible. But loss is essential to growth - think of a snake shedding its skin. In order to go onto the next stage we need to leave the one we’re at.But there’s normal loss such as leaving school or a job, and traumatic loss where everything comes at once, like an unexpected or early death or devastating news. This takes far longer to process. Note: process not get over.The loss I’ve noticed most people don’t want to talk about is death, dying, illness and the accompanying grief and yet, as Dr B tells us, if it’s managed ‘well’ post traumatic growth can be rich. But where would loss be without hope? There has to be hope to make loss’s losses easier to bear. Have a listen and be kind to yourself if you find this tough.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 2 of Series 9 (Series 9 will be released sporadically). Should We Move?This has always been a question I've been asked a lot via my Guardian column (and in real life) but after the pandemic it was a question that reached, dare I say it, epidemic proportions. It's a simple enough question but the reasoning behind it can really tell us a lot about ourselves. Many people move to get away from problems, not realising that the problems go with them. This is why a few well aimed questions are worth asking of yourself before you move.There are some very boring things to consider, too which we run through in this episode. Look out for anything that makes you feel defensive, either in this episode or when people mention certain things to you - those are the very issues you should be digging down into. I've known people who've maxed out their London homes to stretch themselves to buy a huge country pile - with no financial buffer. People who've moved to the middle of nowhere even though they can't drive. Or not considering schools/transport links/hospitals. These are the things that can make or break a successful move. I**************If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced: https://www.patreon.com/c/annalisabarbieriYou can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the last episode, episode six, in Series 8 and in it I talk to UKCP registered family and systemic psychotherapist and John Cavanagh who is also a registered mental health nurse. John specialises in child and adolescent mental health.Often children will manifest with a mental health problem that is indicative of what's going on in the family. We talk about this, what those problems might look like, why it's important to treat children as part of the family unit. John also talks us through the CAMHS system which I know some people find very difficult to navigate. We also talk about common adolescent and child problems and how to manage them if your child comes to you with them. Useful links we talk about in the podcast: YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People | YoungMinds Information for 11-18 year olds on understanding CAMHS - Mind Stay Alive App: 'a suicide prevention app for the UK, packed full of resources, useful information, and tools to help you stay safe or help someone else'.StayAlive - Essential suicide prevention for everyday life CalmHarm (https://calmharm.co.uk/)DistrACT (https://www.expertselfcare.com/health-apps/distract/) NHS England » NHS Mental Health Apps Library to increase access to psychological therapies and help to improve mental health outcomes www.psychotherapy.org.uk (Registered psychotherapists search by specialism or area) www.aft.org.uk***************If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.