Why Boundaries Feel So Hard in Relationships (And How Overgiving Leads to Resentment)

About this episode

Dr. Rachel Orleck discusses the challenges of setting boundaries in relationships and the impact of overgiving on emotional well-being.

You say yes to something you don’t actually have the capacity for… and in the moment, it feels reasonable. You stay in the conversation, keep explaining, keep smoothing things over. But later, something in you feels tight. Not because the moment was wrong, but because a quiet line inside you got crossed. In this episode of Coupled With... , Dr. Rachel Orleck explores the subtle, often invisible pattern of self-abandonment that shows up in relationships. Not through dramatic boundary violations, but through small, repeated moments of over-functioning—when you override your own nervous system to keep the connection steady. Over time, the relationship can quietly organize itself around the version of you that keeps stretching, accommodating, and absorbing more than is actually sustainable. This conversation reframes boundaries as something that begins internally, long before they are ever spoken out loud. The issue is rarely just communication—it’s the moment your “yes” outruns your actual capacity. When that happens consistently, resentment, emotional disconnection, and loneliness often follow, not because the relationship is broken, but because your internal limits have been left…

People in this episode

Host: Rachel Orleck

Topics covered

• boundaries
• relationships
• self-abandonment
• overgiving
• resentment
• nervous system
• attachment

Keywords

• emotional disconnection
• loneliness
• internal limits
• communication

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Coupled With..., Break the Cycle, When Love Feels Like Too Much

Places: WA, Washington State

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