Cut & Retie

This week, artist Mike Sudal celebrates ice cold trout victory after opting for the magnum fenders, we fly all the way to Europe and realize we left our Van Staal at home on purpose, tape everyone's mouth shut while trying to dock at the marina, and loft a Hail Marty on the radio to learn how to turn our boat on for the first time.

This week, legendary angler Pete Maina refuses to re-hook a fish for the sake of better Saturday morning TV, we crank some Foghat at the VFW and go night scoping for sponsorship deals, long for the days when trophies followed more than they ate, and add some balls to our Suicks to show the kids how it's done.

Tattoo artist Drew Wilson takes us on a slippery-slope bull trout adventure that requires emergency treatment from a common oral hygiene product.

This week, Captain Eric Kerber rips the pull-start so hard ever snakeheader in Maryland hears the backfire, we explain to kids that all their drinks are free because they have no money, pass on a rain coat in a downpour so we don't wind up sweaty, and use a tennis racket to bounce a frog off the heads of anyone we don't think should be in our fishing spot.

This week, Captain Ross Robertson teaches us how to pick the perfect Yeti products for a baby shower, we yell at old men who are watching fish porn while missing actual fish on the line, slug a Four Loko before unveiling a bite so secret it doesn't actually exist, and chew bubble gum while chewing out everyone who's following us around the lake.

This week, Riverhorse Nakadate takes a cold plunge with Johnny Utah and makes Dairy Queen sound better than ever, we nearly die trying to reach brook trout that we decide not to cast too, get rowdy at the Barnes & Noble with INXS after fighting a car thief, and cure food poisoning with a 9-inch worm and homemade blueberry pie.

This week, Kevin Blinkoff from "On The Water" cozies up under an afghan and tells us about catching snook that are actually catfish, we pop a Xanax and pray our boat will be fixed in time to score a bite under the fillet table, eat sandwiches under a bridge as downpours dash our glide bait hopes, and pledge to make fishing in mumus cool again.

This week, Tim Romano beams in to tell us about his favorite alpaca mousing sweater, we wrap ourselves in wet bed sheets and take a drive with the mayor of Gunnison Canyon, cry about the lack of water in the West and rejoice over the film "Spring Breakers," and opt into being total weirdos at the bass club and ghetto continental breakfast.

This week, veteran captain Frank Campbell drags a Chinook behind his truck on the way to buy organizational storage bins, we drop a pile of loose crankbaits on the floor of boat and then refuse to use them, insist we know better than the guide when it comes to screaming at no one like a YouTuber, and fill a shopping cart with rancid fish in the name of charity.

This week, guide, author, and actor Ken Baldwin gets drunk and disorderly on the set of "Rudy," we suffer through Yoo-Hoo and bourbon to stick smallmouths in a gale, bring a hundred pounds of chum salmon home to our ungrateful wives and children, and give our clients some hot air so their bear spray doesn't blow up in the tent.

This week, West Virginia fly guide Jacob Ott teaches Jamie Cermele how to ask the most annoying client questions, we run the Saturday palomino gauntlet until a whiskey double becomes the only cure for insanity, flail dry-dropper combos into every tree within 20 feet of 600 hungry rainbows, and harvest wild ramps after netting the brook trout of a 7-year-old lifetime.

This week, veteran TV angler and Bassmaster emcee, Dave Mercer, explains why Canadian anglers won't wave at you if your truck's on fire, we get featured on the news and blame Joe Montana, offer one-minute tips to people who can't spend 30 seconds soaking cut bait, and Hawg Craw our way to amazing underwater footage of fish choking to death.

This week river rat Paul Cain revs the "Shit Runner 2" for big-water trout redemption not involving anything chartreuse, we fail to impress our parents with our fire breathing skills, discuss the joys of auto anchor deployment when hunting trophy "inlands," travel back to 1982 for wings, and refuse to back down on proving fish like to eat live minnows.