Dam Parenting

What actually happens after a relationship ends — when you have children together, you're living in the Netherlands, and your village is far away?Niko, a German dad, joins us this week to talk honestly about something most men never say out loud: the grief, the guilt, the fear of what separation would do to his kids — and how he came out the other side.They talk about growing apart after years together, the question he had to ask himself when staying felt like slowly disappearing, why he believes ending a marriage and ending a family are not the same thing, and how he and his ex built a coparenting relationship they're both proud of.This is not a conversation about divorce being easy. It's a conversation about what's possible when two parents put their children first — and take care of themselves in the process.For any dad who is struggling and hasn't told anyone yet: this one's for you.RESOURCES — Nationwide NetherlandsFor children:KIES (Kinderen In Een Scheiding Situaties) — free municipality-funded support groups for children aged 4–18. Available across the Netherlands. Self-refer or via your child's school. Find your local KIES via: kiesvoorhetkind.nl or kiesamsterdam.nl (Amsterdam-specific)Villa Pinedo — online support platform for children and young people with divorced parents. Available in English. Buddy app, forum, and parent resources: villapinedo.nl/englishFor parents:Mediation in the Netherlands — if you need support building a parenting plan, a registered mediator can help. Search via the Dutch Mediation Federation: mfnregister.nlYour gemeente — ask your local jeugdregisseur (youth coordinator) what coparenting support is available in your area. Every municipality is different.

Gossip. Gossib. Godsib. The same word — and the meaning was changed on purpose. Before gossip became something shameful, it meant godsib: God's sibling. Your circle. The women who gathered around you when you gave birth, who cooked and held and stayed. That tradition was deliberately dismantled — and we are reclaiming it.In this final episode of the Maternal Mental Health Month series, I sit down with artist Sanne Freijdag, whose project the Gossib Gathering is doing exactly that: bringing women together over fabric, stitching, and the kind of honest conversation that happens when your hands are busy and your guard is down.We cover the medieval history of women's gathering spaces, how the quilting circle became women's last sanctioned meeting place, the science of why working with your hands is so healing, and what matrescence — the becoming of a mother — has to do with all of it.And we launch the next session: three Sunday sessions in Amsterdam Oost where we'll be making a quilt together for one pregnant woman in our community. Because you can't always see your village — but you can make something that proves it exists.You don't need experience. You just need to show up. Book your spot HERE 📅 28 June · 5 July · 12 July 12:30–16:30 GROND, AmsterdamA donation of €10 on the day to fund the supplies is all that is asked! Sanne Freijdag: www.freijdag.com Instagram @sanne.freijdag

We talk a lot about the beauty of raising multilingual children — the richness, the connection, the gift of language. But what about what it actually costs to hold it all together?In this episode for Maternal Mental Health Month, host Eva welcomes back multilingual family coach Mimi from Growing up Multilingual, for an honest conversation about the side of language parenting that rarely gets named: the mental load.They explore why it's not the languages themselves that wear you down — it's the isolation, the pressure to stay consistent when life isn't, the guilt, the grief, and the endless feeling of being the only one keeping it all from slipping away.Mimi also shares what actually helps: building community, creating simple and realistic plans, sharing the responsibility, and — perhaps most importantly — knowing when to let go.If you've ever asked yourself "am I doing enough?" or "is it too late?" — this one's for you.Topics covered:– Why multilingualism isn't the problem, but the conditions around it often are– The perfectionism trap and how social media distorts reality– What to do when one parent carries all the language responsibility– Practical ways to reduce the mental load without abandoning your goals– What to prioritise when things feel truly overwhelming

Do you ever feel like you're constantly dropping the ball, losing yourself in the chaos of motherhood, or just can't seem to keep up — no matter how hard you try? It might not just be motherhood. In this episode, originally aired as part of our 2024 Maternal Mental Health series, I'm joined by Emma, founder of ADHD Potential, a mother and ADHD coach who knows this reality from the inside out.We talk about what ADHD actually looks like in mothers — because it doesn't always look the way you'd expect — the shame spiral that so many women carry silently, emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, and the strategies that can genuinely help. We also talk about why so many women go undiagnosed for years, and what to do if you suspect ADHD but don't know where to start.If you're based in the Netherlands, we cover how the referral process works and what to expect, including waiting times and insurance coverage.This episode is part of Damn Parenting's Maternal Mental Health Month series — bringing honest, real conversations about the things that affect us as mothers, the ones we don't always get to say out loud.In this episode:What ADHD in motherhood really looks likeWhy so many women are diagnosed late — or not at allThe shame and guilt that comes with it, and how to work through itPractical strategies for managing ADHD as a motherHow to get diagnosed in the NetherlandsWhy "good enough" parenting is not only okay — it's necessary

After birth, so many women are told their symptoms are normal — and then left to quietly wonder if they are. Leaking, pain, pressure, discomfort during sex. Normal? Or not?This week I'm joined by Sofía, a pelvic floor physiotherapist based in The Hague with 13 years of specialist experience — and an immigrant herself who understands the unique position international families are in when navigating Dutch healthcare.We cover what's actually normal in the first six weeks postpartum, when to seek help, what a pelvic floor physio appointment in the Netherlands actually involves (including the parts nobody warns you about), and the one thing Sofía wants every woman to hear: there is always a solution.For the international parent in the Netherlands sitting with something they haven't told anyone: this one is for you.

Nobody told you about this part.The rage that rises from nowhere. The way you can go from calm to completely overwhelmed in seconds. The fact that it almost always lands on your partner — while the actual source of the pressure stays invisible.Postpartum rage is one of the most common and least talked-about experiences of early motherhood. It is not a character flaw. It is a nervous system under siege.I sit down with Dr. Naomi Gibson, couples therapist and Dam Parenting's resident psychologist, to talk about what postpartum rage actually is, why it happens, who it targets, and what getting help looks like in the Netherlands.We cover:The clinical definition — and why postpartum rage isn't in the DSM even though it's realThe hormone and sleep science behind itWhy expat and international parents carry an additional isolation layer that makes it worseHow to access support in the Netherlands: verloskundige, huisarts, POP-poli, GGZHow couples can start to talk about this without it becoming another argumentThis is the first episode in our Maternal Mental Health series.If you are holding it together on the outside, this one is for you.