414: What to do with, ‘You’re great! … I just don’t feel attracted to you.’ (ft. Jason Lange)

About this episode

The episode explores the reasons behind women's lack of attraction and how men can change their approach to dating and relationships.

Ever been told you're a "great guy!" but she's "just not feeling it"? Or felt like you're endlessly chasing women but never being pursued yourself? Here, we dig into what's actually happening when women consistently report not feeling attracted to you -- and what you can do about it. The truth is, attraction only has a little to do with what you look like physically. For example, one client came into our program good-looking by every conventional standard: broad shoulders, nice body, the whole thing. But he wasn't having success with women. He was frustrated and stuck. He felt like if he kept going in the same vein, he'd never get the partnership he craved. In this episode we reveal how he got to a breakthrough; after 8-10 weeks of doing what we talk about ... he was being chased for the first time in his life. Plus, Jason shares a personal story — a date that fizzled, a year of doing the men's work, and then reconnecting with the same woman and completely changing the dynamic -- including having sexy time! Not because he looked different. Because he showed up differently. Spoiler: "A man's looks account for 20% of attraction. The consciousness that animates a man is 80% of it."…

People in this episode

Host: Melanie Curtin

Guest: Jason Lange

Topics covered

• attraction
• dating advice
• relationship dynamics
• self-improvement
• men's work

Keywords

• attraction
• dating
• relationships
• self-improvement
• men's work
• confidence
• personal growth

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• 413: 'Is this ever going to happen for me??' (ft. Violet Lange) · May 15, 2026 · 1h 5m
• 412: Is perimenopause or menopause stealing her sex drive? (ft. sexual wellness physician Dr. Debra Durst) · May 8, 2026 · 59 min
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