415: The 5 biggest reasons relationships go sexless ... and what to do (ft. Jason Lange)

About this episode

The episode discusses the five main reasons relationships become sexless and offers insights on how to address the issue.

You love your partner. You're committed. But the sex has slowed to a trickle — once a month, once every six months, maybe not in years — and you're starting to wonder: "Is this just what long-term partnership is?" No -- it doesn't have to be. Unfortunately, if this is happening and you're feeling lonely in your marriage, you're not alone. And it can be hard to know what to do; millions of men feel ill-equipped to address the issue because either a) whenever they do, it becomes a fight; or b) they're scared of coming off as demanding or a jerk. Here, Jason and I count down the 5 root causes we see most often behind sexless relationships, ranked from least to most common, drawing on our work with hundreds of men. We cover how much changes when you have kids (including the partner that just can't relax when the kids are in the house); resentment and quiet breaches of trust; mental load; what kind of sex actually feels good for women; and how to engage on the topic skillfully. As Jason says: “Neither men nor women do well when sex is connected to pressure.” We also share story after story of men whose "spines got straighter," who stopped using sex to discharge stress, and whose wives…

People in this episode

Host: Melanie Curtin

Guest: Jason Lange

Topics covered

• sexless relationships
• long-term partnership
• communication
• mental load
• desire discrepancy

Keywords

• sexless relationships
• long-term commitment
• relationship advice
• communication skills
• intimacy issues

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