Earth Dreams: Zen Buddhism and the Soul of the World

Tis’ the season for story-telling. I don’t know about you, but there are certain stories I can hear over and over again. These stories often have mythic and archetypal elements, that seem to resonate with the poetics of the soul.In the Zen Buddhist tradition the first week of December is the week we commemorate/remember/celebrate the Buddha’s awakening. We do this with our bodies. Sitting retreat with the orientation that we too can realize our true nature. That we too can awaken.We do this with our hearts and minds. Reading, listening, contemplating the elements of the Buddha’s story, which is mythic in nature. And as we hear the story of the Buddha we are reminded of our own path—that awakening is possible for us and that it is unfolding right here, in this precious life.Below I will share a brief sketch of the Buddha’s story. Please listen to the talk if you want to hear a more fleshed out version. Of course, like all stories, this one changes every time it is told. There actually isn’t any recorded biography of the Buddha in the Pali Cannon, we have some references he makes to his journey and scholars/practitioners have worked to put them together in a cohesive narrative. In this telling, I am choosing the elements that have resonated with me on my own path. I am appreciating how the Buddha’s story has elements of the hero’s journey as well as important dharma teachings.Maha Maya’s DreamThe story begins with a dream. Maha Maya, whose name means illusion, dreams one night that she is taken to the mountains by four spirit beings. She is then bathed, anointed with oils, perfumes and flowers. A white elephant appears, circles her three times and pierces her side with his six tusks. She awakens from the dream knowing that she is pregnant with a son.When she tells her husband, King Suddhodana, about the dream he invites the town seer to interpret it. The seer confirms that Maha Maya is indeed pregnant with a son and that he will be either a great king or the founder of a new religion.Upon hearing this prophesy, King Suddhodana decides to make his son’s life so comfortable that he will never want to leave the palace.So Siddaratha Gotma (the Buddha) is born, and lives a sheltered life. He describes it in one sutta, saying:I, lived in refinement, utmost refinement, total refinement. My father even had lotus ponds made in our palace: one where red-lotuses bloomed, one where white lotuses bloomed, one where blue lotuses bloomed, all for my sake… A white sunshade was held over me day & night to protect me from cold, heat, dust, dirt, & dew.Disillusionment with a Protected Life/The Four SightsEventually Siddhartha becomes a young man and one night he wakes before dawn after a party at the palace. He looks around and feels a bit disgusted by what he sees, bodies strewn around, sleeping, smelling of alcohol and sex—from having indulged in all forms of pleasure the night before. His heart questions what he is doing, what kind of life he is living.After this experience, he feels like he needs to see what is beyond the palace walls. So he enlists his charioteer to take him into the town. While they are there Siddhartha sees what has become known as the four sights. He sees someone who is ill, sick crying out in pain. He sees some who is old, hunched over, skin full of wrinkles and he sees a corpse. With each sight, he feels disgust and curiosity. A knowing arises in him that this will also happen to him. He too will age, become ill and die. He becomes disillusioned by his current state of health, youth and life. For what is the point in indulging in the pleasures of health, youth and life, if you are ignoring the truths of sickness, old age and death. Something about this experience really starts to way heavy in his heart, and fill him with great doubt.Then he sees the fourth sight, a renunciate sitting serenely under a tree. He is touched by the look of contentment on this person’s face. Something in him knows that there is a path to realizing a contentment that is beyond sensual pleasures, that one could know freedom, love and joy that wasn’t dependent on conditions.Leaving His Father’s HouseHe knows he has to leave his father’s house. It isn’t an easy decision. One I imagine he tries to ignore, but his doubt and curiosity grow stronger and stronger. In one telling of the story, his wife Yasodhara has eight dreams about the path he needs to take, and so encourages him to go. Before he leaves, they make love and conceive a son.Then Siddhartha shaves his head, puts on the ochre robes of a renunciant and begins the nomadic life of a home-leaver. He meets two teachers, studies with them for years and eventually masters their teachings. But finds that their dharma leads him into deep states of concentration, but does not bring him to liberation. So he eventually leaves them, even though they urge him to teach with them. He then meets five wandering ascetics and starts practicing austerities. He tries to suppress thought, stop his breath, and survive on one spoonful of food a day—none of these techniques work well for him. He speaks of undergoing great physical and emotional pain but being no closer to liberation. In a state of desperation and hunger, a memory arises from childhood, which he describes:“I thought: ‘I recall once, when my father the Sakyan was working, and I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, then — quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful mental qualities — I entered & remained in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. Could that be the path to Awakening?’ Then, following on that memory, came the realization: ‘That is the path to Awakening.’ I thought: ‘So why am I afraid of that pleasure that has nothing to do with sensuality, nothing to do with unskillful mental qualities?’ I thought: ‘I am no longer afraid of that pleasure that has nothing to do with sensuality, nothing to do with unskillful mental qualities, but it is not easy to achieve that pleasure with a body so extremely emaciated. Suppose I were to take some solid food: some rice & porridge.’ So I took some solid food: some rice & porridge.So he takes some food to nourish his body and with a new clarity, a deeper connection to purpose and himself, he resolves to sit under the bodhi tree until he awakens.Mara’s TemptationsThough he is clear in his resolve and clear about the path forward, he still encounters great difficulty. Mara (the tempter or doubting voice in Siddhartha) appears during his meditations tempting him, creating feelings of restlessness in body and in mind, showing scenes from the pleasures he used to have at the palace, conjuring fear/doubt and telling him to give up.Siddhartha eventually sees Mara for what they are, a voice of doubt, and Mara slinks away. The Buddha awakens, upon seeing the morning star rising in the east, after a week of meditation. On the final night he has insights into impermanence, cause and effect and finally the nature of suffering/bondage and the path that leads to the cessation of suffering/bondage.He says in one story, “I, together with all beings and the great earth, awaken.”In another he says:House-builder, you’re seen! You will not build a house again.All your rafters broken, the ridge pole destroyed, gone to the Unformed, the mindhas come to the end of craving.The earth rises up and confirms the Buddha’s awakening. After Mara appears and throws more shade on the Buddha.The Buddha questions whether or not he can teach. And remains sitting under the Bodhi tree for another week. During this time a great storm rolls through, and Mucilinda (the snake king), protects the Buddha from the storm with his seven heads.It’s also said that on the night that the Buddha awakened, his wife, Yasodhara gave birth to their son, Rahula. She had been carrying their son for six years, and underwent he own spiritual journey, never leaving home.Does the story really end here? Not really, practice-awakening continues, on and on and on. There are many ways to appreciate a story like this, I have been enjoying looking at the story from the lens of the hero’s journey. So many of the elements of the Buddha’s story are elements that are a part of our own life and the path of practice-awakening. I the new year, I will offer some teachings and reflections on elements of the hero’s journey and the spiritual path. But for now, I would love to hear if any elements from the Buddha’s story touched you in anyway.* Have you had important dreams that gave you confidence about the next step on your path, even if it didn’t make rational sense?* What is your own experience of being disillusioned? Or needing to challenge a teaching, belief or lifestyle that you were raised in? How has doubt been part of your path?* Can you relate to having an experience as a child that feels connected to your path/practice now? Sometimes it feels like we are relearning something we knew naturally as children, does this feel true to you?* The Buddha was supported and protected by the Earth and the snake king—what protectors, supporters or allies have you had in your own life (people, animals, plants, places, dream figures)?* I appreciate Yasodhara’s story as one that happens in the dark space of unknowing, unfolding in her home as she cares for the child she is carrying. In what ways has your own path/practice had elements of darkness, hiddenness, not-knowing and/or nurturing something precious that perhaps you don’t yet know what it is?* Are there any other elements of the Buddha’s story that resonate or that you feel curious about? Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Monday Dec 15th we will do some seasonal reflection as Ango ends and we approach the winter solstice.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Save the Dates! 2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West VirginiaMountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.Earth Dreams is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

One stanza from the Trust in Heart poem says:Cut off all useless thoughts and words and there’s nowhere you cannot go.Returning to the root itself, you’ll find the meaning of all things.If you pursue appearances you overlook the primal source.Awakening is to go beyond both emptiness as well as form.I appreciate the clarity of these instructions. Here we find an invitation to practice with our thinking minds. I find that this instruction to “cut off” is more of an invitation to see through or into the thinking mind and recognize what thoughts really are. Especially thoughts that appear as hindrances. The repetitive inner critical thoughts, endless doubts, obsessive thinking about the future.What are thoughts made of? How long do they last?We are told in Buddhism to regard thought as another sense. What is this like? To notice the textural, auditorial, image-emotional experience of thinking.What happens when during a meditation period or in your daily life you turn attention to the thinking mind, to attend to the thought stream?When we see thoughts for what they are, they have less power over us. We don’t have to believe or even identify with everything we think—we also don’t need to get a in struggle with our thoughts.This teaching and practice empowers us to be more discerning. We use our thinking minds throughout the day—planning, reflecting, reasoning, contemplating, conversing.And it is possible to use the mind, without being used by the mind.This poem is inviting us to recognize the root of the thinking mind. The root of the thinking mind, is the root of all things. When we know experientially the true nature of the thinking mind which includes: doubt, inner critic, worry, anxiety, judgement, planning, other people’s thoughts, views, perspectives—then they have less power over us.Then everything turns around, we can see the light, bodhicitta— within each thought and/or emotion—no matter the content.Dahui, as great Zen teacher of the 12C says it this way in a letter to one of his students.This very moment just cease to entertain thought, putting an end to the confused mind. Then you will know that there is no delusion to be destroyed, no awakening to be aspired to, and no discriminatory thought to be cut off. With time erroneous views will disappear of themselves, and you will be like a person drinking water and knowing for themselves whether it is hot or cold.The mind that is clearly aware of discriminatory thought taking place—how can this mind possibly be obstructed? How can there possibly be any other kind of mind than this one?Since times of old the wise have taken to discriminatory thought like dragons to water and tigers to mountains. They regard discriminatory thought as a companion, employing such thought as upaya, and on the basis of discriminatory thought practice universal compassion and carry out all sorts of buddha deeds. For them, discriminatory thought is never a source of suffering because they understand its source. Once the source of discriminatory thought is fathomed it becomes the locus of liberation and of release from samsara.May we recognize the source of all thoughts and find freedom and love in our nature!Thank you! For the month of November Mud Lotus Sangha is sending 50% of our donations to the Clintonville-Beechwold Community Resource Center to help those in our neighborhood who are struggling with food insecurity this month. All of our communities can use extra support and there are many ways to practice generosity. Thank you for all the ways that you show generosity to me and the other beings in your life.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Faith in Mind poem by the 3rd Chinese Ancestor.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in OregonUniverse Somatic: The Bright Thread in the Dark — January 22nd - 25thUniverse Somatic is a practice that integrates group meditation, movement and energy work with a spirit of experimentation and playfulness. We explore the union of spaciousness and embodied energies in a contemplative practice that is embodied and expressive.The theme for this Universe Somatic is The Bright Thread In the Dark. We will play in knowing and not-knowing, hope and despair, yin and yang, creation and destruction, dancing in deep relationship with these polarities while also listening for the thread that doesn’t get stuck on either side.Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen MonasteryIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Save the Dates! 2026 Mud Lotus Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West VirginiaMountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.Earth Dreams is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

I am currently spending some time with this beautiful teaching poem, Affirming Faith in Mind as part of Autumn Ango through ZCO. As I was reading it this week, I thought about how would I summarize this teaching in one sentence. I came up with:Everything’s Included on the Path!Everything is included. Maybe it seems too simple, too obvious. And yet, how often are we looking outside of our experience for satisfaction, the answer, some-thing-else. How could it be that our doubt, fear, the wars and violence we bear witness to, as well as the love, pain, empathy, grief, sadness we feel is part of awakening? That anything the mind thinks, or the body feels. Not just the good feelings, the spiritual thoughts—but everything. Everything is included, is an expression of the Awakened Heart. Is liberation itself.If everything is included. What does that mean for our living? For our practice? Maybe best not to try to make meaning of it. But to practice, to live with this inquiry. For faith is something we discover through our embodiment.So we can ask, we can invite—Can I practice here? With these emotions? In this relationship? In this political environment? With this activation? When I am triggered or hurting—what does practice look like, where can I find refuge?Sometimes we imagine that if our meditation or dharma practice was “working” we would get immediate relief from the challenging emotion, the pain, the difficult belief. Or we would have the answer about how to respond to the complex relational and societal patterns we are a part of. Though sometimes astonishingly this does happen. I find that practice often offers a little more space, to be with and recognize things as they are.Practicing the all-inclusive heart can take many forms. At this time of year in the Zen Buddhist tradition we have rituals for turning towards the monstrous, neglected, wayward, confused, unruly energies in ourselves and the world—energies that we are often trying to control, get-in-line or banish. One Hundred Demons Night ParadeAt Mud Lotus Sangha on Sunday night we did a practice of the 100 Demons Night Parade. It was inspired by a scroll that the 17th Century Zen Master, Hakuin Zenji painted. The 100 Demons Night Parade or Hyakki Yagyo is a procession of the supernatural from Japanese folklore, that artists would often attempt to depict. It is said that Hakuin allowed his inner demons to take form and join this other worldly night parade.So we drew our demons, inner enemies, monsters, hungry ghosts—as a practice and way of expressing inner thoughts/feelings through art. Many people remarked that what feels scary or frightening inside—actually looked scared on paper. Others said that they recognized that all their demons seemed connected around a fundamental belief or feeling. We taped our pictures on the wall. It felt easy in that form to accept and love these creatures—that represented our challenges, fears, pains and struggles, the parts of ourselves that at times feel difficult to love. They were cute, awkwardly fearsome, sad and lonely beings. What is a demon, anyway?The 12th Century Tibetan Yogini Machig Labdron defines a demon as “whatever appears to hinder liberation—awakening to true nature.”What hinders awakening? Can anything hinder awakening?Yet, sometimes we feel hindered. Sometimes awakening seems 100 demons away.Machig Labdron categorized these “demons” or apparent hinderances to liberation into four categories.* Outer Demons—situations and circumstances outside of our control, this includes other people, organizations, institutions, diseases, wars, relationships that we tend to blame or feel burdened by in some way* Inner Demons—the thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, beliefs that we have a tendency to identify with, evade, push away, attempt to control or fight with this can include pain, irritation, rage, fear, anxiety, doubt, unworthiness, shame, disappointment, sadness, feeling not-good-enough, etc. (she also called the inner demons, the demons that go on and on and on…referring to mind’s capacity to constantly generate/pick-up on new information, stories, memories, etc)* Demons of Elation—pride and the good feelings that we tend to identify with but in doing so they make us feel as if we are superior to others* The Demon of Self-Clinging—our mis-identification with this elusive sense of self and our strategies of “selfing”Machig developed a practice for meeting these demons with wise unconditional love. A practice that sprung from her own meditation experience. One night she was meditating in a tree over a lake when suddenly the Naga-protector of the lake appeared and threatened her. Instead of retreating in fear or engaging in a fight with the Naga, Machig offered her body. The Naga-protector was so moved by Machig’s selfless generosity that he offered to be her protector.Making Friends with the MonstrousThe practice Machig developed is called Chod. It is a practice of all inclusive awareness, where everything and everyone is included. Her practice was to invite all the demons to a feast—the difficult people, the troubling emotions, the waring countries, the greedy billionaires, the sicknesses, the fears, the anxieties, the pride—as well as all the buddhas, bodhisattvas, guardian spirits, dharma protectors. You invite them all. And your body becomes the offering. This is a deep practice of prajna wisdom and generosity, recognizing that all that appears has this same root of Mind. All the demons, all our troubles, all the greed in the world, all the enlightened states of mind and heart—it all comes from the same source and appears in the same heart-mind of liberation.In Zen we have a similar practice called Sejiki or The Ceremony for the Hungry Ghost. It’s a ritual of inviting the lost, confused, needy-at-times, wanting parts of us as well as these energies found in the world—to a feast of debauchery. We make an altar with all the things we crave or thirst for, that the hungry ghost desires or reaches for. During the ceremony we invite them to come to the feast, we meet them with love, tenderness, an open heart of understanding as well as clear seeing. In this meeting transmutation is allowed to occur, like Machig’s Naga protector —in the space of kind acceptance and non-judgmental generosity transformation happens. We see the ghosts for who they really are, not monsters to be feared or gotten rid of—but creative, unruly-at-times, confused-at-times, fun-loving, a bit wayward energies that want satisfaction—the deep satisfaction of liberation —truly they are allies on this path! They are manifestations of bodhicitta—the deep-heart-vow for awakening.Ritual is powerful. We will be doing a version of the Sejiki Ceremony this coming Monday, you are invited to join! Information can be found below.Weekly Online Meditation EventHungry Ghost Ceremony and Meditation Monday Night Dharma — Monday, Nov 3rd 6P PT / 9P ET. Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. This week we will be doing a ceremony for the hungry heart. There will be a guided meditation to help us connect with this energy, a short dharma talk and ceremony. You are invited to bring an offering for your hungry heart. This could be something that represents what you crave, reach for, long for, want, desire. Also bring a small piece of candy that we will offer to the hungry heart during the ceremony.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website.Earth Dreams is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Polarization & PlayPolarization (def)—division into two sharply contrasting groups, sets of opinions or beliefs. When we stop seeing similarity or what is shared, but only see difference. When difference becomes a threat.Play (def)— to engage in something for enjoyment or for sport. Be cooperative. Try something out.I want to say, we are living in a polarized time. But I find myself questioning each word. I look for polarization and find it in my social media feed, in the news, in my own inner dialogue —as certain views and opinions claim their rightness about what I should or should not do, believe or say.But, I don’t see such polarization in the setting sun, the migrating monarch butterfly who is sitting on this sunflower, here in my front garden. It seems like the monarch, the sun, the sky and serenading cicadas are not so concerned with the rifts of mind or media feed.Is it disrespectful to place play near the gravity of polarization, when Webster warns that play has nothing to do with serious things and when politicians are using words like “civil war?”Play is actually an important quality for awakening, for living in divisiveness—for it is an invitation to bring curiosity to righteousness, shame spirals, fear loops and the other players in polarized thinking.Play as LiberationThe play I want to invite is the play of liberation. The play that is invoked in the Mahayana Sutra of Vimalakirti. A sutra that emerged in an in-between-time in Buddhist history. Where there were forces in power who believed they had the “right” teachings, the correct practices to transcend this painful world of suffering and enter nirvana.Yet another view was emerging right in the midst of the dominant one. A view that seemed to turn the whole tradition on its head. A view, a practice, a teaching that pointed to the profound path of liberation that could be recognized by seeing through all views—awakening to the empty-yet-apparent nature of all form and concept. This view pointed to a liberation that was based in the direct experience of interdependence, where no one is separate from anyone else—where this world and this body are the place and vehicle for living an awakened life. This was the emergence of the way of the bodhisattva.An Extraordinary ImprobabilityThe teaching came through a sick man living the life of a householder in India. His name was Vimalakirti and was considered a great bodhisattva and teacher of the non-dual way. When asked why he was sick Vimalakirti replied: “I am sick, because the world is sick.”Joan Sutherland in her book Vimalakirti and The Awakened Heart says this about the Bodhisattva. “Vimalakirti embodies a number of provocative dualities in addition to being a sick bodhisattva: he’s a rich man who gives all of his money to the poor, someone who lives among family, but remains solitary, has children and frequents brothels but remains celibate, goes to bars, but doesn’t get drunk…The koans speak of him as an extraordinary improbability.”The sutra in its in-between-ness is considered a precursor to both the koan tradition of Chan and the tantric tradition of the Vajrayana. The sutra has well-known characters from the Buddhist pantheon such as the elder monk Shariputra and the Bodhisattva Manjushri engaging in discourse with this layman Vimalakirti and the goddess who happens to live in his room completely unseen until the middle of the story.The Goddess’s TransformationsAt some point in the story the goddess makes her appearance, and we are told that she had always been there (another nod to the incipient koan tradition: how can someone who has always been here, appear?)As she appears flowers rain down, falling to the feet of the Bodhisattvas but sticking to the robes of the elder monks. Shariputra is quite disturbed by this flower affixing itself to his robe—he has made a vow not to adorn himself with the fragrance and flamboyance of a flower.The goddess engages him here, asking him to show her the nature of flowerness.Their conversation spans topics such as the nature of self-obsession and liberation, before Shariputra asks the goddess why she continues to be a woman, when surely being male would be preferable for she would have a chance at liberation.This opens up a dialogue captured in Case 58 of the Hidden Lamp“I have looked for the innate characteristics of the female form to no avail. How can I change them? If a magician created the illusion of a woman, would you ask her, “Why don’t you transform yourself out of your female state?”Shariputra replied, “No. Such a woman would not really exist, so what would there be to transform?”She said, “Just so. All things do not really exist, so how can you ask something that doesn’t exist to change its form?”Then the goddess, by supernatural power, changed Shariputra into a likeness of herself and changed herself into a likeness of Shariputra and asked, “Why don’t you transform yourself out of your female state?”Shariputra cried, “I no longer appear in the form of a male! My body has changed into a woman’s body! I don’t know what to transform!”She replied, “Just as you are not really a woman but appear to be female in form, all women appear to be female in form but are not really women. Therefore, Buddha said that all beings are not really women or men.”Then she changed Shariputra back into his own form and asked, “And where is your female form now?”My teacher Chozen Roshi writes the commentary to this case and opens saying: “Once someone asked me, “In India it is said that you cannot be enlightened it you are a woman. What does Zen say about this?” I answered, “In Zen practice we say that in order to be enlightened, you must become completely a woman, completely a man, both, and neither.”The Four Positions of PolarizationChozen’s response is an articulation of Rinzai’s four positions. It’s an expression of the flexibility of heart that we train in, in koan practice. It’s a practice for recognizing the empty-yet-apparent nature of all concepts and forms and unsticking from our habitual ways of seeing the world.What is it to be completely A, completely B, both and neither?This is something we can explore anytime we have a set of opposites or polarized parts of us. This could be explored in a conflict with another person, an inner conflict, as koan exploration or as dream/soul work.To use the koan above as an example, here is a step-by-step way you might explore the polarity of Shariputra and the Goddess. Feel free to journal, draw or move between these positions in a more embodied way. Or listen to the audio above for verbal guidance on these steps.* Let yourself inhabit the position of Shariputra and shift your position slightly to the right. This could be the part of us that wants to do it right, is disciplined, has a sense of the rules, feels self-righteous. Let yourself feel your inner Shariputra. What does it feel like in the body to want to do it right or to feel self-righteous? What feelings are you aware of? What fears or wants? If you could speak as Shariputra what would you say? Now let go of Shariputra and come back to center.* Now move to the left and let yourself inhabit the position of the Goddess. The Goddess is a more sensual part of us, she embodies prajna wisdom, playfulness, a certain kind of faith that all is OK. Let yourself feel your inner goddess. What does it feel like in your body to embody faith, sensuality, playfulness, prajna wisdom? What feelings are you aware of? Are there fears or wants? If you could speak as the goddess, what would you say? Now let go of the goddess and come back to center.* Now reconnect with both Shariputra and the goddess. Let yourself feel both of these parts in your body at once. Notice what it is like to have them both present—not needing to choose a side or be one or the other, just allowing both energies. What do you notice?* Now let them both go. You might energetically step back, or imagine emptying out. Be a hollow bamboo tube or empty space. Nothing you need to do, just rest in the after glow of the journey. Notice what you see from this perspective of being no one in particular.Take a moment to notice your breath, move your body, shake out or stretch and come back to the felt sense of your body right here and now. Ground in your senses. Thanks for trying on this practice! You might take a moment to journal about anything you noticed or simply feel what it feels like in your body now.In koan work as well as working with personal material, there are always layers to the exploration. We meet or become aware of what perspectives feel more familiar and which ones we are more averse to, afraid of or resistant to feeling. This is a training in holding views lightly and seeing into the nature of perspective/part. Sometimes in describing koan work teachers talk about “the third thing”, not either A or B, but C.This movement between being fully A, fully B, both and neither allows new perspectives to emerge. It allows us to move more freely though the spectrum of being and to appreciate the flexibility of our open hearts. When I do IFS with clients, we often discover that the parts of us that seem polarized, often want the same thing for us—they just have really different strategies or beliefs about how to get it. To see this, often awakens openness + compassion—a third thing—which allows for transformation and healing.This practice is practical and mysterious—its an invitation to play in the mystery of being and to stay open to the possibility that exists within apparent polarities.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.I currently have a few openings in my Spiritual Counseling practice for the Fall. I offer a four-session intro package for $250.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. This is where the Summer Read is happening if you want to join the discussion and practice live. Schedule here.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Hello Good Friends,It’s late summer and I can feel the seasonal shift. Here in the northern states the Earth is darkening earlier and staying dark later, its cooler too. The humidity has dropped and the insects have grown quieter in my central ohio village. The tomatoes, peaches, corn, and zucchini are in abundance, the pawpaws are ripening and chicken-of-the-woods are blazing orange on fallen logs. We even found some huitlacoche! What seasonal shifts are happening where you are?What are you harvesting?Part of what I appreciate about the hellenistic and modern astrological systems is that they are tuned into these subtle seasonal shifts that happen monthly. As they track the apparent movement of the Sun as seen from Earth.As earth-dwellers our lives are dependent on the Sun, and as the Sun appears to move through the sky—changing its range throughout the year (at least for those of us who live at a distance from the equator). We feel it, the plants and animals feel it. Even as our modern lives tick-on—we experience the seasons in quite significant ways.The change from summer to late summer is one I have always felt the strongest. The long days, hot sun, increased opportunities for connection, travel and creative expression which in the heart of summer feel like they will never end (oh the magical thinking, generosity and wonders of fixed fire, leo). Finally give way to the grace of the setting sun, lingering shadows, ripening fruits and dryer days of late summer, with its back-to-school reminders (that I feel even though its been almost twenty years since I personally followed the academic rhythms).I find my inner hermit tugging at the heart—inviting me to conserve, prioritize, remember what is essential. Though the light of the sun is falling lower on the horizon, the light of the heart is awake. This is the time of year assigned to virgo, mutable earth, the virgin, the hermit, the cultivator, the servant, the healer, the practical witch.A body exposed to the golden wind! —Zen Teacher Yunmen.Do you feel the seasons shift in your body too?My local sangha, Mud Lotus, invited virgo season in with a vocal toning practice this past Friday on the new moon. Vocal toning is a practice of letting voice, body, breath and awareness join together with the soundscape of other voices, bodies and breath. Folks who participated shared about the seeming magic of releasing their bodies and minds to sound and were surprised at the soundscapes that emerged with rich and layered emotional textures, as our bodies released, opened, shuttered and at times felt stuck. Others noted how their thoughts asked: how does my voice fit here? before releasing into the collective breath where each tone, each voice, each body, each block has a place.The practice of toning has always been a part of my spiritual practice, and it feels good to be continuing that practice with local community here.Our Monday night online sangha is continuing with the Summer Read of The Hidden Lamp, as we move into this late summer time.This week as the dark moon started to reveal her growing crescent light. We read Nyozen’s Pale Moon of Dawn.The nun Nyozen of Tokeiji used to meditate on the enlightenment poem of Chiyono as her theme for realization:With this and that I tried to keep the bucket together,And then the bottom fell out.Where water does not collectThe moon does not dwell.Later, Nyozen grasped the essence of Zen, and she presented this poem to her teacher:The bottom fell out of the bucketOf that woman of humble birthThe pale moon of dawnIs caught in the rain puddles.While the full moon in Zen is an image of our true nature. We asked, what about the dark moon? Which often represents—endings and new beginnings—the unknown, the mystery of death and birth.How do we stay connected to the moon when we can not see them?How do we stay connected to the path of awakening when it seems to be happening in the dark of our unconscious, when it seems like we aren’t making any progress, when we don’t know what is going on?The poems are written by two women who have never met. Nyozen meditated on Chiyono’s poem as a koan. This is part of the mystery of transmission in the Zen tradition. We hear the words and stories of our ancestors, and at times we feel invited, called to spend time with a line, a story, a poem—and as we do—the line, story or poem begins working on us.We internalize it. We start to embody it as a living question, a living teaching. Much of this work happens in the dark. We seem to forget about it. We lose some of the words. But slowly over time or sometimes all at once—something is revealed. We know something about who we are, what is reliable, what is present even as the seasons pass and we get older.Crescent Moon TransmissionCrescent Moon hanging lowOn the horizonAn ancient hornPlaying through our bodiesFor a momentJoin your voice withThe moon’s songAnd hear each being sing you awake!Listen to the dharma talk recording for a more in-depth exploration of Nyozen’s Pale Moon of Dawn. And join us on Monday Night for the next case in the Hidden Lamp, Case 34: The Zen Mirror of Tokeiji with commentary from Zenju Earthlyn Manuel. I invite you to spend some time with the moon or one of these poems. Feel free to share your own Moon Transmissions or reflections here.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.Interested in an astrology reading for eclipse season? or for the rest of the year? I have openings for Sept and into the Fall.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. This is where the Summer Read is happening if you want to join the discussion and practice live. Schedule here.This coming week we will be exploring case 25 & case 33 (Nyozen’s Pale Moon of Dawn and Bodhidharma’s flesh)Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Being FlowerOn Monday night during meditation we sat together as a community of flowers. Sun flower, daisy, rose, violet, marigold, milkweed, celosia, echinacea, blue vervain, poppy, queen anne’s lace, crocosmia, zinnia.We were studying the koan Case 19 from the Hidden Lamp, Flowers in the Buddha Hall.The nuns of Tokeiji were famous for their beautiful elaborate flower decorations on Buddha’s Birthday. Zen Teacher Yodo, the abbess wrote a verse for the occasion:Decorate the heart of the beholder,for the Buddha of the flower hallin nowhere else.Her attendants also wrote verse. Ika wrote:Throw away into the street the years of the past.What is born now on the flower dais—let it raise its newborn cry.Why sit as a flower? It might seem foolish or arrogant. Maybe it is.But its part of the invitation of the koans. To be inhabited by them. To practice seeing through the face of a sunflower—breathing in light—deeply connected to earth and sky. Opening petal by petal into this troubled and mysterious world.Some call the wide-eyed flower jasmine.Some call the wide-eyed flower thorn.The wide-eyed flower doesn’t care what you call it.I bow to such freedom. —RumiWe’ve spent our lives practicing our human conditioning. Telling ourselves things that aren’t true about our worth, our lacks. Reinforcing a sense of separation, loneliness, fear.What happens when you take-up the practice of being a flower?How does a flower respond to you human thoughts and worries?What does a flower think of your so called problems?We find flowers throughout the buddhist teachings and koans. The Buddha gave a whole sermon—holding up a flower. There are recorded stories of practitioners having awakening experiences upon seeing a flower. flowers are silentsilence is silentthe mind is a silent flowerthe silent flower of the world open—IkkyuRememberingIn this koan the nuns of Tokeiji are re-enacting the story of the Buddha’s birth where flowers rained from the heavens. The story is ancient and the ceremony seems to have roots prior to buddhism. We build a flower bower in the shape of a white elephant that came to Maya in a dream. We decorate the bower in the fresh flowers of spring, and bathe the awakened child who stands on Great Mother Earth, pointing to the sky with one hand and the ground with the other.There is something child-like and innocent about creating a flower dais and bathing the baby buddha in sweet tea. I don’t know the origins of the ritual, but it was something that we practiced when I lived at the monastery, and is part of the Japanese Zen tradition. When we prepare for and participate in the ceremony, we are practicing a kind of remembering. Remembering our own child-like innocence. Remembering how malleable and playful the heart-mind of a child is. Remembering a time in our life where our imagination was ripe. And we really were flowers. Or could become one at anytime. A time when hours could go by and we were perfectly content to sit and watch the daisies bob in the wind. Where we made crowns and wands and palaces out of flowers. A time when we could consult flowers for advice, and laugh with them in yellows, oranges, rubies and pinks.This remembering stretches back before childhood, before we were born.We are remembering who we are—before thought, before we got overly identified with this body. We are remembering our unborn buddha mind—our awakened nature.Yodo’s poem is a reminder that the baby buddha in the ceremony—is us. Our buddha nature, our awakened nature is only right here.Sometimes appearing as a flower, a face, anxiety, fear, aloneness, beauty, love.All appearances are inseparable from the spacious embrace of our buddha nature.Yet, we forget. So we practice remembering.The baby buddha ceremony is a practice of remembering. Seeing flowers can be a practice of remembering. Zazen, chanting, bowing, the precepts, IFS, yoga, dancing all can be practices of remembering. I recently was invited to give a teaching to the Pause Meditation Community on the theme of remembrance. As I was contemplating the theme, I rediscovered Joy Harjo’s poem Remember. And remembered the importance of poetry in our practice of remembering. What is important to remember? What do you want to remind yourself? How do you remember?Here’s a poem I wrote to help me Remember to RememberRemember breathHow it breathes you, even as you sleepAnd your mind drifts here and thereEven when you feel most aloneIts gentle rhythm soothes youAnd gives you your lifeLet yourself feel this ocean inside youRising and fallingLet yourself find your way back to yourselfThrough the sensations of breathRemember and you are awareYour senses open to a world of wonderHear, see, feel, taste, smellThis is your wild and precious lifeAll is connectedYou are part of this one lifeRemember that all is changingMysteriously experience unfoldsThese thoughts are just passing throughNothing is fixedNothing is finalHow you feel now will changeIs already changingFeel the river of your lifeDrink from itRemember silenceLet yourself hear belowThe murmur or yelling of thoughtBefore the music or the noiseSilenceThough it seems we are alwaysTrying to cover it overOr fill it upSilence remainsFeel your own inner silenceBefriend itListen to its wisdomLet it show you something about whoYou really areRemember the goodness that you areFeel the sincerity in your heartCan you let yourself feelThe kindnesses that shape youOpen to joyFor no reasonIts here, even in the heartbreakEven in the painEven when it feels farthest awayRemember this is your lifeIts a good lifeIts worth livingFeel its preciousnessRememberFor a deeper dive into this koan listen to the dharma talk where we explore more deeply some of the symbolism in the Buddha’s birth story, as well as Amala Roshi’s commentary to the koan found in the Hidden Lamp. Join Patrick Kennyo Dunn this coming Monday for Case 20: Shonin’s Shadeless Tree.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. This is where the Summer Read is happening if you want to join the discussion and practice live. Schedule here.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends,Here we are in the heart of summer. I am writing this a week after the passing of beloved eco-dharma elder Joanna Macy. We are also in the middle of our summer read of The Hidden Lamp: 25 Centuries of Awakened Women. The koan story that we explored this week was Case 13: Chen’s Mountain Flowers and the commentary happens to be written by Joanna Macy. So I want to take the time in this post as well as the dharma talk audio to appreciate Joanna Macy’s life, work and practice through the lens of the koan.Chen’s Mountain Flowers: China 7th-9th CenturyChen was a laywoman who traveled far and wide, visiting famous masters. After she realized enlightenment, she composed the following verse.Up on the high slopes, I see only old woodcutters.Everyone has the spirit of the knife and the axe.How can they see the mountain flowersreflected in the water—glorious red?Joanna wrote about and lived her life with a wild love for the world. This was demonstrated in her activism, her translations of Rilke’s Book of the Hours, her work at building containers to help those engaged in the on-the-ground activism to connect with the emotional and spiritual side of their work and her own dharma practice. The koan Chen’s Flowers also speaks to a wild love for the world. One we are invited into through Chen’s simple poem.I want to share an excerpt from an interview with Joanna Macy where she is speaking about her love for this earth/world, being less afraid of her fears and belonging—we are already home, she says:It is so great a privilege to be here on Earth at this time. I have had the good fortune to drink from three great streams of thought—the buddhadharma, systems thinking, and deep ecology. Each gives me another way to know Gaia and to know myself. Each helps me be less afraid of my fears. I have had the joy of helping others experience this too, of seeing them take the Work That Reconnects further, building our collective capacities and our trust in reciprocity.Being fully present to fear, to gratitude, to all that is—this is the practice of mutual belonging. As living members of the living body of Earth, we are grounded in that kind of belonging. We will find more ways to remember, celebrate, and affirm this deep knowing: we belong to each other, we belong to Earth. Even when faced with cataclysmic changes, nothing can ever separate us from her. We are already home.Our belonging is rooted in the living body of Earth, woven of the flows of time and relationship that form our bodies, our communities, our climate. When we turn and open our heart–mind to Earth, she is always there. This is the great reciprocity at the heart of the universe. My gratitude to all. May we experience “sheer abundance of being,” as Rilke says, and know that we truly belong here.Here are some resources if you would like to connect more to Joanna Macy’s Life Work.On-being—An interview with Krista Tippett and Joanna Macy where several Rilke poems are sharedWork that reconnects—Joanna Macy’s website with lots of free resourcesLion’s roar interview—An interview with Joanna Macy about Buddhist practice and Eco-dharmaAs I turn over this koan and Joanna Macy’s teachings and legacy I find many invitations for practice. Below are three that I am working with this week.An Invitation to Study WantingChen talks about how the woodcutters know only knife and saw. Taking from the earth is their way. What are the knives and saws in our own life? How do we cultivate the courage and generosity to make space for our own wanting, our own desires? What is it like to pause and feel the sensations of wanting without pushing them away, and also without indulging? What else accompanies wanting? And can we make space for those emotions, sensations, beliefs or memories?I find when I make space for wanting, I often open to the gift of this life being experienced through my senses, it feels tender and quivering like a reflection in the water. But good, real. Gratitude follows quite naturally.The Color Red as a Mindfulness BellChen’s poem is short and simple, and yet the glorious red rings loudly. I found myself noticing red after reading this poem. So I took it up as a mindfulness practice. Allowing myself to really notice the shades of red in my life. To take time and linger with them, to feel the glory and boldness of ruby, cherry, vermillion, scarlet, crimson. Red also became a mindfulness bell, calling me to open my other senses—to really see, hear, smell, taste, feel. To let my awareness open and my thinking mind silence. Red awakened aliveness. I started to see how my neighbor’s overalls, the cardinal on the river trail, the summer rose, the stop sign and brake lights were all in cahoots—helping me to awaken to our shared buddha nature.Wild Love for the World PracticeWhat if your love for the world and your grief for the world could co-exist? What if you took them both for a walk? Where would you go? What would you see? What is your own poem to express this wild love?i meet my sorrow in the lazy river, who doesn’t mind my shy sadnessbut instead lets it float along with the gaggle of geese who seem to be deep in meditationi don’t try to pretend that i know anything when i walk along the riverits more like meeting godwho seems to shine out of each of us unhindereda light so honesti almost don’t lose myself in its playful lovingListen to the dharma talk for a more extensive dive into this koan and Joanna Macy’s legacy. May we each discover that we too are already at home, and live with a wild love for this life. Feel free to share your reflections, thoughts or your wild love for the world poem in the comments section. Next week we will be exploring Case 15 in the Hidden Lamp, The Woman Lets it Be. Summer Reading Schedule can be found here.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. This is where the Summer Read is happening if you want to join the discussion and practice live. Schedule here.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKZen Practice opportunities through ZCOGrasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin—August 11 - 17, in-person at Great Vow Zen Monastery (this retreat is held outdoors, camping is encouraged but indoor dorm spaces are available)In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe