Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode, I share the number of short runs I did not account for in my own life, walk through a family that has been through five major transitions in five years, and unpack why senior professionals can be sophisticated about iterative planning at work and unsophisticated about it at home. The conflict is not capability; it's flexibility that is a maintenance burden, and most plans have nobody carrying it. The action step this week takes fifteen minutes. Name the last three transitions your family went through in the past five years. Then ask, for each one, what financial decisions in your current plan still assume you are the person you were before. That is the work. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Preparing for the Next Life Chapter Wealth Planning is For Everyone Funded Contentment

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What happens when you spend all your patience at work and come home with nothing left for the conversations that actually matter? If you're a senior professional managing a demanding career and a growing family, you know this tension. You hold complexity all day. By evening, you're running on fumes. Today, I unpack Morgan Housel's idea of saving like a pessimist and investing like an optimist, and why the real challenge for busy parents isn't choosing between optimism and pessimism. It's having the energy left to hold both at the same time when it counts. I share a personal confession about becoming more patient with my TAMMA families and less patient with my own family, and what that pattern looks like in the dual-income households I work with every day. This week's action step: before your next financial or logistical conversation at home, ask yourself whether you're showing up with the patience it deserves, or whether you're running on what's left. If it's fumes, reschedule. The conversation matters too much to rush. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Staying the Course: How Long-Term Investing Builds Wealth Through Market Cycles Funded Contentment: Am I Going to Be Okay? Case Study: How A Growing Family Designed a Wealth Management Plan for Now and for Life

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation Have you ever looked at where your money actually goes and felt a little uncomfortable? Not because you were irresponsible — but because the numbers didn't match the values you'd say out loud? That gap is what this episode is about. Morgan Housel draws a line between the science of spending and the art of spending. The science is teachable — budgets, bargains, automation. The art is harder: figuring out whether your spending reflects who you actually are or who you've been conditioned to be. I share what I've seen with clients and what I've lived in my own household — and why the most important financial question isn't 'how much' but 'what for.' Before your next few purchases this week, pause and ask: does this reflect what I actually value, or what I'm trying to signal? You don't need to change anything yet. Just notice what the answer tells you. Connect with Paul If you're a working parent juggling a senior-level career and a growing family, and are tired of coordinating four different advisors to run your financial life, I do complimentary 30-minute conversations. Schedule one here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Optimize Your Spending to Increase Your Happiness Aligning Personal Interests with Financial Objectives

Have you ever noticed that when things feel uncertain, you already seem to know how it's going to turn out? You're not predicting. You're confirming. In this episode, I explore why the story you're already telling about your financial life shapes every piece of information you take in and how that filter quietly drives some of the most expensive decisions families make. I walk through two real family situations where fear and overconfidence each created blind spots, and why the problem isn't the information available to us. It's what we choose to look at. This week, I'm asking you to name the story you're currently telling about your finances: fear-based or confidence-based. Spend ten minutes with one source that doesn't confirm it. You don't have to change your mind. Just widen the filter. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: What Game Are You Playing Why Behavior Beats Spreadsheets Places to Hide Aren't Roadblocks

How do you put a value on memorable experiences? After reading a moving LinkedIn post from my friend Samantha Russell, who lost her husband and is now raising three kids on her own, I found myself reflecting on my own family's journey. Our triplets started high school this year and our plus-one daughter tackles her own busy calendar. With the chaos of managing busy schedules, there is a temptation to worry about what's next, which can easily cause precious moments to slip by. To help with this chaos, I talk about a meaningful tool I use in my financial planning practice that really puts into perspective just how many summers we have left with our kids. For me, it's not about planning big, lavish vacations, but about making our time intentional, whether it's a dream trip, a simple backyard hangout, or a concert I've waited years to see. Unlike money, once a moment is gone, it can't be replenished. The number of summers left with loved ones is finite, and being aware of this helps us prioritize what matters. I hope by the end of this dialogue, you can ask yourself, what's one simple way you're being intentional with your time this week? Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Bucket List Items Don't Need To Be Big Samantha Russell LinkedIn Post Time is the Ultimate Planning Killer

Why do most resolutions fail by mid-January? Maybe because we're starting in the wrong place. Before we can sustain any meaningful change, we need to know why we're doing it in the first place. Dr. Jennifer Dragonette and I dig into the difference between purpose and objectives, and why confusing the two can leave you feeling empty even when you hit your goals. We talk through George Kinder's three questions, a powerful framework that uses time horizons to cut through the noise and reveal what actually matters. We also explore the unusual eulogy exercise, the permission trap that keeps people stuck even when they have the means to act, and why retirement may be one of the most underrated transitions you'll ever face. This week, try writing your own eulogy or obituary. Not to be morbid, but to get clear on what you want people to say about how you lived. That clarity can become the foundation for every objective you set. Please enjoy my conversation with Dr. Jennifer Dragonnette. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Squeezing All The Juice Out Of Retirement How to Use Emotions as Information Are You Rich Yet? Why Families Still Struggle to Feel Wealthy

I came across a Wall Street Journal article about families making over $250,000, putting them in the top 10% of all household incomes in the country, who still don't feel wealthy. One family earning $350,000 (in the top 4%) owns two homes, has three kids in club sports, and can't shake the feeling that they're struggling. In this episode, I explore why modern life makes it so hard to feel like you have enough. How our standards of living have improved dramatically, but we've just created different problems. Why kids' activities drain families more than almost anything else. And how the real challenge, as Morgan Housel says, is getting the goalpost to stop moving. This week: Look back at where you started instead of comparing yourself to some moving horizon ahead. Check your household income against national percentiles. You might be surprised how far you've come. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at pfenner@tammacapital.com with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: They're in the Top 10% of Earners. They Still Don't Feel Rich. Are You Living a Life Less Ordinary? The Gap and the Gain – Navigating Purpose

What if not all success is earned and not all struggle is deserved? This week's episode digs into something we don't talk about enough: the role of luck, circumstance, and timing in how our lives turn out. When you're managing money, kids, and everything else, it's easy to believe you earned every good thing and failed at every hard thing. But that's not the whole story. I share a few stories from my generational Family Office practice, working with families across different starting lines, and reflect on what advantages compound across generations and what that means for how we judge ourselves, others, and what we teach our kids about success. This week, identify three things that went right in your life that weren't just about hard work. Not to diminish your effort, but to recognize the full picture of how you got here. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at pfenner@tammacapital.com with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: Reflections of a Layoff While Raising Triplet Girls Funded Contentment: Am I Going to Be Okay? Experiencing Career & Life Transitions from Multiple Angles