How to Stop Assuming the Worst About Your Spouse: Positive Sentiment Override

How to Stop Assuming the Worst About Your Spouse: Positive Sentiment Override

From Enneagram and Marriage by Christa Hardin, MA

June 8, 2026 · 20 min

About this episode

Christa discusses the concept of positive sentiment override and its impact on marriage, along with practical advice for couples.

What if the distance you feel in your marriage isn't about love at all, but about a bank account that has quietly run low? In episode three of the Summer of Intimacy series, Christa dives into one of Gottman's most powerful research findings, positive sentiment override, and the hidden force that erodes it faster than almost anything else: mental load. If you have been quicker to snap, quicker to assume the worst, or quicker to feel alone even when your spouse is right there, this episode will give you the language for what is actually happening and a way back toward each other. Plus, Christa shares how she and Wes put last week's love maps questions into practice on a real date this week, and how you can do the same. The Awakening Intimacy waitlist is now open, link in show notes. Show notes:⁠ Get on the waitlist so you can get info about our Awakening Intimacy Intensive! ⁠Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠ Stay tuned for our Summer Intensives, Awakening Intimacy (track 1) and Awakening Adventure (track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠here!⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Find more about…

People in this episode

Host: Christa Hardin

Topics covered

  • marriage
  • positive sentiment override
  • mental load
  • intimacy
  • communication

Keywords

  • marriage
  • intimacy
  • Gottman
  • communication
  • mental load
  • assumptions
  • love maps

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Gottman

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