F*CK Trauma Podcast

Anxious attachment, self-concept work, manifestation, subconscious reprogramming and nervous system healing all go hand in hand… and in this episode, I’m breaking down exactly how to actually change your self-concept so your relationships and reality can finally change too..If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, avoidants, hot and cold behaviour, rejection, abandonment or relationships where you never fully feel chosen, this episode will help you understand WHY..I explain:what self-concept really ishow your beliefs and assumptions create your relationship patternswhy anxious attachment is an identity/statehow subconscious beliefs are formedwhy you keep repeating the same experiences in lovehow to identify your triggers and core beliefshow to start reprogramming your self-conceptwhy affirmations alone sometimes don’t workhow the nervous system impacts manifestation and relationshipswhy EFT tapping helps you feel safe being chosen, loved and secure.I also share my own journey from anxious attachment, chasing emotionally unavailable relationships and feeling unchosen… to becoming secure, loved, engaged and pregnant through changing my self-concept and nervous system..This episode will help you start shifting the identity that is creating your current reality so you can stop recreating painful relationship patterns and finally feel secure, chosen and deeply loved..My program ⁠⁠Create Your Secure Relationship⁠⁠⁠⁠ shows you exactly how to reprogram your self-concept and nervous system so you naturally attract and sustain the relationship & desires you actually want..Join here: ⁠⁠Create Your Secure Relationship⁠⁠Signature Program: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Stop Sabotaging Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free Series: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠7 Manifestation Mistakes⁠⁠⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Watch on YoutubeWays to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you so much!

Anxious attachment: If you keep attracting the same type of person -emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or “not ready” - this episode will show you why it’s happening and how to finally change it..In this episode, I break down how to attract a new partner using the law of assumption and why your relationships keep repeating the same patterns (even with different people)..This isn’t about luck, timing, or “meeting the right person.”.It’s about your self-concept..I share exactly how I intentionally manifested my fiancé, the shifts I made to stop attracting avoidant and inconsistent partners, and how you can do the same to create a secure, committed relationship..Inside, we cover:Why you keep attracting the same relationship patternsHow your self-concept shapes who you attractWhat it actually means to “manifest a partner”The identity shift that changes everythingHow to stop settling for situationships or inconsistencyThe 3 stages of manifestation (reprogramming, response, reflection)How to take aligned action without chasing.If you’re ready to stop repeating the past and finally experience a secure, consistent, loving relationship - this is for you..✨ Ready to change your relationship patterns fast?My program Create Your Secure Relationship⁠⁠ shows you exactly how to reprogram your self-concept and nervous system so you naturally attract and sustain the relationship you actually want..Includes a pathway specifically for:Shifting a current relationshipReconnecting with someone from the pastAttracting a completely new partner.Join here: Create Your Secure Relationship.⏳ Limited time: Join now to get access to the bonus live coaching call with me..Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Stop Sabotaging Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free Series: ⁠⁠⁠⁠7 Manifestation Mistakes⁠⁠Signature Program: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

Anxious attachment can make it feel impossible to reconnect with someone from your past - especially when you’re stuck in no contact, obsessing over what happened, or wondering if your anxiety pushed them away. In this episode, I’m breaking down how to reconnect with someone from your past using the Law of Assumption, self-concept work, nervous system regulation, and my Secure Method approach..I share the exact shifts I would make if I wanted to reconnect with someone from the past, including how to change the old story, stop focusing on the 3D, regulate an anxious nervous system, and start embodying the version of you who feels chosen, secure, and deeply loved..Inside this episode, we cover:how anxious attachment patterns recreate abandonment, ghosting, and inconsistencywhy your self-concept affects how people show up for youhow the Law of Assumption applies to reconnecting with someone from your pastwhy no contact, being blocked, or what they said does not have to be the endthe role of EFT tapping and nervous system rewiring in manifesting lovewhy holding on to the old story keeps people from coming backwhat it really means to “live in the end” when manifesting a relationshiphow to stop chasing, checking, and looking for validation outside of yourself.If you’ve been asking questions like:Can I manifest someone back?Can I reconnect with someone from my past?How do I use the Law of Assumption when I have anxious attachment?How do I stop abandonment patterns from repeating in love?.This episode is for you..If you want to go deeper, my programme Create Your Secure Relationship is designed to help you rewire anxious survival patterns, shift your self-concept, and apply this work to one of three outcomes: reconnect with someone from your past, attract a new secure relationship, or transform your current relationship.View & Join Create Your Secure Relationship Here.Listen now if you’re ready to stop repeating the same painful cycle in love and start becoming secure, chosen, and deeply loved from the inside out..Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Stop Sabotaging Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free Series: ⁠⁠7 Manifestation MistakesSignature Program: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for you..You might not be double-texting.You might not be chasing in obvious ways. You might even look secure on the outside..And yet… you’re still not being chosen..In this episode, I’m breaking down the subtle, unconscious ways people with anxious attachment are still chasing love without realising it - and why simply “acting secure” doesn’t change your relationship outcomes..I share my own personal stories, client patterns, and the six chasing archetypes I see over and over again in people who want love, stability, and commitment - but keep recreating the same painful dynamics..We cover: • The difference between secure behaviour and anxious survival strategies • How anxious attachment shows up as fixing, proving, pleasing, performing, waiting, or hyper-independence • Why you can stop chasing on the surface and still sabotage love underneath • How self-concept and subconscious beliefs determine who chooses you • Why being “low maintenance”, overly understanding, or hyper-independent is still chasing• How these patterns keep recreating partners who don’t fully choose you.If you’ve ever thought: “Why am I still not chosen even though I’m doing everything right?”.This episode will help you see exactly what’s happening - clearly, honestly, and without blame..Find out your dominant chasing archetypeMost people don’t just have one - but there is usually one that runs the show underneath..👉 Take the free Chasing to Chosen Quiz here.When you know how you’re chasing, it becomes much easier to stop sabotaging love without realising it..Ready to shift from chasing to being chosen?If you recognise yourself in this episode, the work to change these patterns is inside my Chasing to Chosen Masterclass..👉 Watch the Chasing to Chosen Masterclass hereAnd if you’re trying to manifest love, shift a current relationship, or attract someone new - make sure you listen to next week’s episode. Hit FOLLOW so you don't miss it!.If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love ⁠⁠⁠⁠where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full..Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Stop Sabotaging Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Signature Program: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

Everyone tells you to “choose yourself.”.But no one really explains what choosing yourself actually means or how to do it in a way that doesn’t leave you burnt out, overwhelmed, or feeling like you’re doing it wrong..In this episode of the F*CK Trauma Podcast, I’m breaking down what choosing you really means, why so many people misunderstand it, and how to start choosing yourself in a way your nervous system can actually hold..This episode is especially important if you struggle with anxious attachment, self-abandonment, people-pleasing, burnout, or feeling like you’re constantly pushing yourself from survival..Because choosing yourself isn’t about cutting people off, acting unbothered, forcing confidence, or playing it cool.It’s about building self-trust, internal safety, and boundaries with yourself first - so you stop sabotaging, overriding your body, or abandoning yourself for relationships, goals, or outcomes..In this episode, you’ll learn:What choosing yourself actually looks like in real life (not the Instagram version)The most common ways people misunderstand and get choosing themselves wrongWhy forcing change, discipline, or “motivation” often leads to burnout and self-sabotageHow anxious attachment and survival patterns show up when you don’t feel safe with yourselfThree simple ways to start choosing yourself today by building trust with your body and nervous systemWhy small, consistent actions matter more than intensity, overhauls, or willpowerHow choosing yourself internally changes your relationships externally - without trying to control or chase the outcomeThis episode is the foundation.Before we talk about the chosen wound, anxious attachment patterns in relationships, or why you keep chasing to be chosen, we have to start here - with safety, self-trust, and learning how to stay in relationship with yourself..If you’ve ever wondered:Why does choosing myself feel so hard?Why do I keep abandoning myself for people, goals, or validation?Why do I burn out every time I try to change or improve my life?This episode is for you.Take the pressure off.Start where you are.And learn how choosing yourself actually begins - quietly, gently, and powerfully..If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program ⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love ⁠⁠where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full..Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠Becoming Secure You⁠⁠⁠Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠Stop Attracting Avoidants⁠⁠⁠Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠Stop Them Pulling Away⁠⁠⁠Signature Program: ⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

Are avoidants actually avoidant… or are they reflecting something deeper back to you - especially if you have anxious attachment?.In today's episode of the F*CK TRAUMA Podcast, I’m breaking down one of the most perspective-shifting teachings you will ever learn about relationships:Why avoidants show up the way they do, and how the Law of Assumption can transform the dynamic completely..Not by chasing.Not by fixing.Not by abandoning yourself..But by understanding self-concept, your nervous system, and the inner story that avoidants mirror back to you..Inside this episode, you’ll learn:✨ Why anxious attachers are drawn to avoidants✨ What the “abandonment mirror” actually is✨ How your inner assumptions create avoidant patterns✨ Why avoidant behaviour feels so familiar to your body✨ How changing your identity changes how THEY show up✨ How to shift the story of them and the story of you✨ Embodiment practices to step into secure, chosen energy.This is the deeper layer behind everything I teach:You are not powerless in your relationships, and avoidants are not “fixed this way.”They reflect your inner world and when you shift, they do too..If you haven’t listened to these episodes yet, start here:They’ll give you the perfect foundation for today’s teaching:🔹 You Can't Change Them Until You Change You (Self-concept & Law of Assumption)🔹 Transform Your Relationships with the Law of Assumption.Want to go deeper?Free Masterclass: ⁠Becoming Secure You⁠Masterclass: ⁠Stop Attracting Avoidants⁠Masterclass: ⁠Stop Them Pulling Away⁠Signature Program: ⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

If you have an anxious attachment style or find yourself constantly attracting emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or inconsistent partners, this episode will change everything..In this powerful episode, Candice Tamara reveals the real reason you keep repeating the same relationship patterns — and why it’s not about them being avoidant or unavailable, but about the mirror of your own fears, wounds, and self-concept..You’ll learn:✨ How your fear of abandonment, rejection, commitment, vulnerability, and being “too much” creates emotional unavailability within yourself..✨ Why every partner is a mirror reflecting your beliefs, attachment wounds, and nervous system state — not your worth..✨ How to heal anxious attachment patterns at the root so you can finally attract and hold secure, consistent love.✨ The exact mindset and embodiment shifts Candice used to go from anxious and avoidant dynamics to being securely loved and chosen..This episode will help you see relationships differently - not as something happening to you, but as a reflection of what’s ready to be healed within you. When you stop abandoning yourself, you stop attracting people who abandon you..Want to go deeper? My masterclass Stop Attracting Avoidants is now live..Break the cycle of chasing avoidant, emotionally unavailable love and become the secure version of you who only creates consistent, available relationships.This masterclass works whether single or in a relationship to stop avoidant patterns. .⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here to join Stop Attracting Avoidants now⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

Have you ever noticed that every time you get closer to someone, emotionally or physically - they suddenly pull back?.If you have an anxious attachment style, it can feel like a nightmare. You start wondering: Did I do something wrong? Were they just avoidant? Did I scare them off?.In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about why they pull back after intimacy - and how this pattern has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you, but not in the way you think. .You’ll learn:✨ What’s really happening when avoidants distance after intimacy✨ How your inner state creates that push-pull dynamic✨ Why anxious attachment gets triggered when things feel good✨ The mindset shift that stops the cycle - so intimacy brings you closer, not apart.This one’s raw, honest, and deeply freeing - because once you see that you hold the power to change it, you’ll never fear vulnerability again..Want to go deeper? My masterclass Stop Attracting Avoidants is now live..Break the cycle of chasing avoidant, emotionally unavailable love and become the secure version of you who only creates consistent, available relationships.This masterclass works whether single or in a relationship to stop avoidant patterns. .⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here to join Stop Attracting Avoidants now.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

Struggling with anxious attachment and tired of avoidants pulling away?This episode is not what you think. And it’s exactly what you need to hear..If you’ve ever spiralled after being ghosted, obsessed over why they suddenly pulled away, or questioned whether you’re too much, this is your wake-up call..But be warned:This isn’t the same surface-level advice telling you to “just act cool” or “don’t double text.”.This is the truth that will set you free..In this raw, no-BS episode, I reveal 7 tough truths about avoidants that most people will never tell you - because they haven’t lived it, or they’re still stuck in the same patterns..Inside this episode:The real reason they pulled away (and how your energy shifted first).Why it’s not about them abandoning you - it’s about you abandoning yourself.How anxious attachment manifests as self-rejection, not just “neediness”.Why even when you stop texting… you might still be energetically chasing.What it actually takes to stop attracting avoidants - for good.Want to go deeper?My masterclass Stop Them Pulling Away is now live..You’ll learn exactly how to shift the anxious energy that’s subtly pushing people away, so you feel secure, wanted, and deeply met in love..⁠⁠Click here to join Stop Them Pulling Away now⁠⁠.Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

If you have an anxious attachment style and keep finding yourself stuck in painful push-pull dynamics, this episode is going to shift everything..You keep asking, “Why do they always pull away just when things are going well?”.And the internet keeps telling you “They’re just avoidant.”.But in today’s episode, I’m giving you the real reason they pull away and it’s not what you’ve been told..I’m walking you through:✨ The micromoment where your anxious energy subtly changes—and starts pushing them away.✨ Why your nervous system is expecting abandonment (and how that expectation gets reflected back).✨ The reason love feels easy with people you don’t like, but chaotic with the ones you do.✨ The subconscious identity that’s keeping you stuck in hot-and-cold relationships.✨ How to stop abandoning yourself—so they stop abandoning you.We’re not blaming them. We’re not blaming you. We’re taking your power back..And if you’re ready to finally end the cycle of people pulling away, this episode is your wake-up call..Want to go deeper?My brand new masterclass Stop Them Pulling Away is now live..You’ll learn exactly how to shift the anxious energy that’s subtly pushing people away, so you feel secure, wanted, and deeply met in love..Click here to join Stop Them Pulling Away now.Connect with me on Instagram @candicetamara_Ways to work with me: Click here.Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

Why do we keep sabotaging the very things we want most — love, success, money, and happiness?.In this powerful episode of the F*CK TRAUMA podcast, I sit down with the legendary Brad Yates, the creator of over 1,600 tapping videos that have helped millions clear anxiety, fear, and self-doubt..Together, we dive deep into:💜 Why self-sabotage is actually misguided self-love💜 How anxiety in love is your nervous system trying to protect you.💜 The hidden ways fear blocks you from money, success, and being seen.💜 The truth about self-worth (and why you’re already enough).💜 Why resistance shows up right before your biggest breakthroughs.Plus - Brad guides us through a live tapping session for love and anxiety that you can join in real time. (If you can, watch this one on video to tap along with us!).This is more than a conversation about EFT. It’s a conversation about freedom, self-love, and reclaiming the life you deserve.Connect with Brad YatesYoutube: TAP WITH BRAD.Try Brad's FREE: Tap Into Best Self Program.Watch Candice's free masterclass to begin your journey to becoming secure here: FREE MASTERCLASS: Becoming Secure You⁠.→ Learn your exact chasing archetype & the root of your anxious patterns.→ Includes my signature inner child healing + secure self tapping method.⁠WATCH NOW⁠.Enjoying the show? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

If you're tired of chasing love, overgiving in relationships, or settling for breadcrumbs - this episode is for you..In this episode, Candice dives deep into the real reason you feel stuck in love: low self-worth..You’ll learn:✨ The sneaky signs you have a self-worth wound (you might not even realise it).✨ Why your relationships mirror what you believe you deserve.✨ How the “fixer identity” keeps you manifesting people to fix.✨ The #1 belief anxious attachers must shift to stop chasing love.✨ 4 powerful ways to rebuild your self-worth from the inside out.If you constantly feel too much or not enough, struggle to set boundaries, or stay in situations hoping to be chosen - this episode will open your eyes and give you practical steps to shift..Because when you believe you're worthy, everything changes - and love finally feels secure..🔥 Want to take your healing to the next level?Join the WORTH AS F*CK workshop to fully rewire your self-worth & become magnetic in love..💥 This is Episode 3 of the Your Secure Era series - catch up on episode 1 & 2 if you haven't already. .FREE MASTERCLASS: Becoming Secure You.→ Learn your exact chasing archetype & the root of your anxious patterns.→ Includes my signature inner child healing + secure self tapping method.👉 Watch now: ⁠⁠https://www.candicetamaracoaching.com...⁠⁠.Enjoying the show? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!

If you feel stuck in the same relationship patterns—ghosting, breadcrumbing, over-giving, fixing, or chasing emotionally unavailable people—this episode will change everything..In this powerful season opener, Candice Tamara shares her raw story of anxious attachment, abandonment wounds, and the childhood trauma that shaped her love life. But more importantly, she reveals the deeper truth: your love life is not random—it’s a mirror of your subconscious beliefs..This is the beginning of Your Secure Era—a groundbreaking new podcast series that blends self-concept, Law of Assumption, and trauma healing to help you rewire the patterns keeping you stuck..You’ll learn:✨ Why your dating or relationship life feels like a loop✨ What your childhood taught you about love—and how it’s still running the show✨ The truth about manifesting avoidants, ghosting, rejection, or one-sided relationships✨ How to stop fixing, proving, or people-pleasing in love✨ How to shift your self-concept (and your relationships) from the inside out.Whether you're dating, in a situationship, or in a long-term relationship that leaves you anxious, this is your first step to becoming secure..💥 This is Episode 1 of the Your Secure Era series—coming up next: how you’re (unconsciously) manifesting breakups, why self-worth is everything, and the real story behind manifesting secure love..FREE MASTERCLASS: Becoming Secure You→ Learn your exact chasing archetype & the root of your anxious patterns→ Includes my signature inner child healing + secure self tapping method👉 Watch now: https://www.candicetamaracoaching.com....Enjoying the show? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!