97. Why Porn Makes You Easier to Control

About this episode

Rosie explores how the shift from covenantal connection to self-regulation in intimacy can lead to control within relationships and society.

In this powerful and wide-ranging conversation, Rosie explores the concept of power — specifically, how sex can quietly shift from covenantal connection to a method of self-regulation… and ultimately become leverage inside relationships and culture. What happens when intimacy stops being mutual self-giving and becomes stress relief? What happens when appetite governs us instead of character? And what happens to a society when that shift occurs at scale? This episode traces that pattern across history — and brings it right into our modern digital moment. Regulation vs. Covenant Rosie introduces the concept of the “regulation-ship.” When sex becomes the way we regulate our internal world — to soothe stress, manage anxiety, or stabilize emotion — it slowly reshapes intimacy itself. Instead of two people building a relationship rooted in covenant, commitment, and mutual self-gift, intimacy becomes organized around relief. And relief is powerful. When relief becomes central, sex becomes leverage. Historical Patterns of Desire & Power This is not a new story. Rosie draws on: Augustine of Hippo and his concept of libido dominandi — the lust to dominate. Thomas Aquinas, who warned…

People in this episode

Host: Rosie

Topics covered

• power
• intimacy
• self-regulation
• desire
• covenant

Keywords

• porn
• stress relief
• appetite
• character
• historical patterns

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: This Episode

Places: Rome, France, Germany, Berlin, Soviet Union

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