Fighting For Joy

I believed from the start of our grief journey that our faith would allow us to fight for joy in the midst of our sorrow. But happiness? Laughter? It sure didn't seem possible, or even appropriate, for a long time. But today we share a little bit about how laughter HAS returned, even though our grief continues. And, because of all of the tears and darker days, our laughter feels especially sweet now. Richer. More meaningful. More hope-filled. If you are in the midst of difficult circumstances and feel like genuine laughter is unattainable, we understand - and we want this episode to bring you hope. We have a big God who restores, helps, heals, comforts, and redeems. Wait upon Him. In the meantime, let the tears flow. Keep pressing forward. Take one day at a time. Work to fight bitterness and despondency. And keep fighting for joy, asking God to eventually bring some laughter along with it. *The Fighting for Joy Podcast is sponsored by Better Help, an online counseling service that pairs you with a professional licensed therapist who will combine Biblical wisdom with their clinical expertise in mental health to help you address your unique situation. As a Fighting for Joy listener, you can receive 10% off at: betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Quality counseling is a worthy investment and can be such a powerful tool in the fight for joy!

A couple of weeks ago we hit the 12 year mark in our grief. 12 years without Jackson. Without Tyler and Trey. 12 years since we got “the phone call” and so many lives were forever changed. 12 years on this painful journey. And, it still hurts. It’s still hard. Sometimes I think, “of course our hearts still hurt”, and other times I’m completely surprised by it. As I’ve said before, these set apart dates on the calendar that bring our heartache and grief right back up to the surface, and mark the passing of time without our son, are daunting - the lead up to the day, fumbling through the actual day, and then the weariness of soul in the days and weeks to follow…it’s all just plain exhausting, even now in the second decade of our loss. In light of this, and as a way to bring Season 7 of the podcast to an official close, I wanted to come on and share a little bit from my heart - a grief update, of sorts. Proof of life. Testimony of God’s continued care and healing. Things we continue to learn. And more insight into what is helpful during these tougher times of the year. I’m so glad you found this episode. Thank you for taking the time to listen. In many ways, it’s like we are sitting down for coffee today. Or out on a walk…and you ask, “What’s your grief been like lately?” An unscripted hour of hearing me share about what my personal fight for joy feels like now in hopes of encouraging you to keep pressing forward in your own journey, or to continue walking with your grieving friends. Also, don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy.

I thought it would be helpful to re-release this episode with Mother's Day weekend approaching. For many women, this is a complicated holiday that can hold a wide range of emotions. Celebration AND tears. Joy AND sadness. It's now been almost 12 years without Jackson and 5 years without my mom - continued grief. AND, since this episode originally aired a couple of years ago, our family has grown - new joy! When Mother's Day comes this year, I'll have a new daughter-in-law, AND, with Grace's recent engagement, a new future son-in-law. Everything that I speak over my kids at the end of the episode rings true for Mercedes and Cameron now as well. Listen in as I share 5 practical ways to approach the "both/and" of Mother's Day. These are tools that I personally implement and I know they will help you fight for joy too! *Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy. ** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Well, guess who I have back on the podcast with me today? My favorite guest and yours, my husband Eric! Today we have a conversation about the grief that is experienced when you lose a grandparent. It’s a topic that I haven’t covered in depth on the podcast yet, but for many people a grandparent dying is their first experience with grief. One of the things that we hope you take away from this episode is the reminder that death at any age is not the way that its supposed to be. In this broken world, death is an enemy. Processing a grandparent's death, even if they had a long, full life is still hard. Its okay to lean into the brokenness of it all - to hate what death does to our hearts and to acknowledge the void that a grandparent can leave. Listen in as Eric and I share a little bit about our grandparents and our special relationships with them, and then later in the episode as we talk about how we grieved and processed their deaths. I’m glad you found my podcast today and I hope it brings some encouragement to your heart, especially if you are grieving the tender loss of a grandparent. *Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy. ** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I get to introduce you to my friend, Evian Schindler. You’ll hear a little bit about how the two of us got connected at the beginning of our conversation, but Evian is one of the sweet, faithful people in my life who keep reminding me, even 11+ years after Jackson’s death, that I am not forgotten in my grief. She continues to send me Bible verses, songs, and prayers and it means so much to me! I believe that Evian has been really tuned in to my continued grief and pain because she knows pain herself. I called this episode “Fighting for Joy in Chronic Illness”, and I think that’s a good summary title, but as Evian and I talked about what to name it, we also threw out fighting for joy when you don’t have answers, or in uncertainty, or without a clear diagnosis, or as you wait on God, or when you want to give up, or when you are in pain. As you’ll hear, Evian’s fight for joy has mostly centered around her physical health, but it’s complicated, because as it so often goes, one aspect of our life tends to greatly affect the other areas of our life. So, for someone like Evian, the fight for joy can be pretty hard to define. I am excited to have Evian on the show today because, first, she’s an amazing joy fighter and I want you to meet her! She has persevered through really hard things and I am thankful for her willingness to share some of the practical ways she has fought for joy. But secondly, I’m confident that her story will encourage YOU. Even if your circumstances are completely different, you probably know how discouraging it can be to find yourself in the midst of a story that God has written for your life that you just don’t like. And don’t want. How do you press forward in hope and fight for joy when circumstances feel out of your control? I think Evian’s story and all of the tender things that she shares around her personal pain will be helpful for you to hear and I pray that you find some takeaways from this episode - a few things that will help you continue to fight for joy yourself as you press forward IN HOPE in the midst of this broken world. *Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy. ** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I get to share Part 2 of the little "joy project" that a few of my listeners and friends helped me pull together to bring encouragement and hope to hurting people over the holidays. If it is hard for you to hear people say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Holidays!” because your heart is breaking, my guests today get it. I get it! The greetings and phrases that we use this time of year sound different to someone in pain. Now, this CAN be such a wonderful time of year, but these cheerful words can be piercing, confusing, and even hurtful when you’re grieving - EVEN IF you are grieving with hope as a Christian! As we’ve learned, our faith doesn’t make the hard things hurt any less. But trust that these happy holiday phrases won’t always feel as hard as they feel now. The delight of the holiday season will most likely return in the coming years. Believe it or not, you will probably blast Christmas music again, host gatherings again, play fun games again, and feel the magic of this time of year again. Maybe you can’t imagine it now, and that’s okay. I couldn’t imagine it for a long time either. But that’s why I wanted to do these episodes about fighting for joy through the holidays - to give you hope while you lean into your hard. To cheer you on as you press forward. To remind you that there are others fighting for joy alongside of you. So listen in as my friends share. I’m so thankful for their willingness to record these voice memos. As I’ve said, I am always happy to share the things that are helping me, but I certainly don’t have a corner on the market of grief. There is a wide range of experience and ideas out there - and as I’ve said, we can learn from each other. We can borrow, in a sense, the hope and strength of others. Now, not every situation or way of fighting for joy is going to resonate with you, and that’s okay! In fact, that’s why I was grateful for the many responses that came in. One of these stories will resonate with you. Something will click. So don’t get hung up on someone saying something that doesn’t connect…look for what DOES! Maybe you could just listen for one take away from this episode. These friends represent a wide range of experience, theology, seasons of life, stages of grief, etc. - and each of their situations is unique, so of course they will have different perspectives, ideas, and insight. These friends are such joy fighters! I’m so proud of them.They have hard stories, and in many cases are still walking through very difficult things. But they said yes to this little holiday assignment in hopes of helping those of you listening - to be the light and encouragement to someone else who needs it. Maybe that’s you? If so, I’m glad you found this episode and I hope that you are encouraged by my companions in this fight for joy! *Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy. ** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!

Today I get to introduce you to Calihan Summerfield as she shares about her painful struggle with infertility. Calihan always wanted to be a mom, but when the timing felt right to start a family, she began to feel as if her body was betraying her…why wasn’t it happening? What was wrong? Why was God withholding this from her? What are the options? It’s crushing when our plans, dreams, and deepest desires aren’t coming to fruition, especially when it seems like everyone around us is getting to experience what we want! Infertility statistics continue to rise so I’m grateful for Calihan’s willingness to share this deeply personal and emotional journey. As you listen to her story, I think you’ll be encouraged by her fight for joy! It certainly hasn’t been easy, and there are still questions she is wrestling with, but today, as she brings hope from the other side of infertility (because, spoiler alert, her heart is now exploding with delight over her precious daughter Scottie!) her story may be just what YOU need to keep going for one more day in your own struggle, whether that be with fertility issues or some other disappointment in life. *Don't forget that as a Fighting for Joy listener you can receive 10% off of your first month of counseling services from BetterHelp, my podcast sponsor. Check out my link at betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Christian counseling can be such a huge help in this broken world and a major tool in the fight for joy. ** If this episode was encouraging to you, I’d like to ask you to please consider rating the Fighting for Joy podcast, and even leaving a review. Once you find my show, scroll down to where it says “tap to rate” or “write a review”. Tapping to rate literally takes a second or two, and writing a review can be quick as well. Just sharing that you enjoy listening, or that it’s an encouragement to you is enough. The longer I do this the more I understand how helpful those ratings and reviews really are, so thanks for considering this. It means a lot!