For Real: Life, Leadership, & Unlearning

What happens when the life you've built no longer fits the person you've become?In this episode, Megan talks to Amber Rae, who shares her story of a profound unraveling that began with a single, eye-opening moment, leading her to confront the truth about her marriage, her career, and the beliefs she had held for years. If you've ever felt that quiet pull to make a change but has been too afraid to follow it, you'll want to tune in.In this episode, you'll learn about:Why we are conditioned to choose others' happiness over our own—and the deep-seated fear behind it.The dangerous trap of "self-abandonment" and how it masquerades as self-love.The difference between your intuition and the noisy voices of fear and expectation.A powerful journaling practice to help you discern which voice is speaking to you.Why we often try to fix our external circumstances (our jobs, our home) instead of facing the truth about what needs to shift internally.How to borrow courage from the categories in your life where you already feel confident.The crucial reframe: walking away from something you've outgrown is an act of leadership, not selfishness.Episode Timestamps:00:03:00 – The pivotal moment that sparked Amber's unraveling.00:05:00 – Why the unraveling is happening to so many women right now.00:08:00 – The connection between Amber's personal journey and her new book, Lovable.00:10:20 – The messy reality of healing and why it's not a linear process.00:19:00 – The difficult question: Is it self-love or self-abandonment?00:23:25 – The realization that we often "self-abandon" in one area of life but not others.00:28:00 – How to discern the voice of intuition from the noise of fear.00:31:30 – A powerful journaling practice for listening to your internal voices.About Amber Rae: Website: https://www.amberrae.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyamberrae/ Book: Loveable by Amber Rae: https://www.amazon.com/Loveable-Womans-Path-Good-Free/dp/1250809339For Real on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastThis episode was edited and produced by Walk West and is brought to you by Megan's online membership site for wedding pros, The Planner’s Vault.Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

If you've been feeling that familiar drain of exhaustion, persistent brain fog, or like your body simply isn't keeping up with your high-achieving mind, this episode is going to hit home. From blood sugar and sleep to your environment and that annoying inner critic, this episode is about tuning in, clearing the noise, and finding your way back to feeling like yourself again.In this episode, you'll learn about:Sarah Reilly's personal, years-long journey with undiagnosed Lyme disease and how it fueled her passion for functional medicine.The overwhelm of health information and how to find what's right for your unique body.The intricate web of factors (stress, infections, toxins, diet) that can trigger autoimmunity.Early warning signs of stress in your body, from insidious cravings and middle-of-the-night waking to brain fog and digestive issues.Why sleep is the foundational step for restoring your brain and body.The truth about "adrenal fatigue" and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis dysfunction.A crucial perspective on intermittent fasting: why it's not for everyone, especially high achievers already battling high cortisol or hypoglycemia.Practical strategies for nutrient-dense meals to balance blood sugar and sustain energy throughout your day (including a specific smoothie recipe!).How to make healthy foods more appealing ("dress up your veggies!").Navigating the financial investment in functional medicine and why it's worth its weight in gold for customized, strategic support.Episode Timestamps:00:00:00 – Is your body keeping up with your high-achieving mind?00:02:48 – Sarah's personal journey: undiagnosed Lyme and the path to functional medicine.00:06:51 – The overwhelm of conflicting health information for high achievers.00:15:58 – Early warning signs of stress you might be overlooking in your body.00:21:12 – The crucial first step to better health: mastering your sleep.00:26:41 – Understanding "adrenal fatigue" and how stress impacts your hormones.00:33:05 – The truth about intermittent fasting: is it right for you?00:38:03 – Practical strategies for nutrient-dense meals and a go-to smoothie recipe.00:44:48 – Investing in your health: navigating the costs of customized care.About Sarah Reilly:Website: https://getnourished.net/Sarah Reilly's Free Guide: "15 TRIGGERS KEEPING YOU FEELING FAT, BLOATED, ACHY & BURNT OUT".Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/getnourished.sarah/Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!For Real on Social Media:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Are you caught in a loop of overthinking, over-planning, or playing it too safe? In this episode, Megan sits down with acclaimed psychologist, author, and TEDx speaker Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) to explore how high achievers can break free from anxiety, over-analysis, and the relentless pursuit of perfection.This conversation is a must-listen if you're ready to untangle old patterns, create more ease, clarity, and alignment in your life, and finally trust yourself to navigate uncertainty.Quick Note: This episode is part of an unintentional mini-series! If this topic resonates, be sure to check out Episode 317: Unlearning Overworking (solo episode on why rest feels uncomfortable for high achievers) and Episode 318: The Real Reason You’re Questioning Everything (with guest Laura Gassner Otting, on identity shifts and trusting intuition). Each offers a unique perspective on burnout, identity, and self-trust.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ How anxiety and fear-based responses shrink our lives – and how to expand beyond them ✅ The surprising truth about perfectionism in high achievers (it's not just about academics!)✅ Why "just drop your standards" is an alienating message for people who deeply care ✅ The subtle yet crucial difference between "doing your best" and "doing good enough" ✅ Why your inner critic is paradoxically trying to protect you – and how to respond to it ✅ The unhelpful cycle of responding to thinking with more thinking (and how to break it!) ✅ Common psychological traps that keep us stuck in chronic indecision ✅ The power of making "workable" choices instead of chasing "perfect" ones ✅ Why self-trust doesn't mean the absence of self-doubt, but the willingness to act with it ✅ The deepest fear for high achievers (and how to identify what's truly driving your actions) ✅ How to tap into your innate wisdom amidst the noise of constant doing and hustlingAbout Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z):Website: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist/Episode Timestamps:00:03:50 – Dr. Z's personal journey with anxiety and the pivotal panic attack00:05:00 – How anxiety shrinks our lives and stops us from living authentically00:06:10 – Megan's experience as a professional worrier turned wedding planner00:08:36 – The hidden perfectionism of high achievers and why they can't "do mediocre work"00:10:49 – Why "dropping your standards" creates resistance and an alienated message00:12:07 – Dr. Z's story of being told to "stop working so hard" and its impact00:13:22 – Navigating generational shifts: "Practice makes perfect" vs. "Practice makes progress"00:14:57 – The radical acceptance of being an overachiever and learning to discriminate00:17:37 – Preparing for the guilt and remorse that comes with "good enough"00:18:11 – Distinguishing what's "good enough" in different life buckets (business, motherhood)00:19:31 – The role of self-compassion and humility in making tough choices00:23:15 – The value of pausing and processing (watching your mind)00:24:34 – Responding to yourself with gentleness and kindness when guilt arrives00:25:11 – The never-ending background noise of the inner critic00:26:24 – Understanding the inner critic's purpose: It's trying to protect you00:29:49 – Why you can't win a "mind chess game" with your inner critic00:31:17 – Making decisions from values vs. fear (avoiding or gaining something)00:32:28 – Navigating big life decisions without spiraling into overwhelm00:33:53 – Why humans hate uncertainty and how it impacts decision-making00:35:43 – The Buddhist parable of the monkey and the lotus (attachment to "how things are supposed to be")00:37:03 – Thinking biases: black and white thinking, hypervigilance, fear of regret00:37:55 – Our ability to adapt: every decision is a bet on the future00:38:26 – Maximizers vs. Satisficers: Understanding your decision style00:41:01 – Giving ourselves permission to make a workable, not perfect, choice00:41:51 – The crucial role of self-trust in navigating what comes next00:42:40 – Psychological flexibility: being flexible with the world inside and out00:44:54 – Overthinking as a coping mechanism to avoid emotions00:46:43 – The deepest fear of high achievers: the fear of failure00:47:50 – Checking in: What is really driving your "go, go, go" mode?00:48:40 – Cultivating your inner wisdom (it's soft and tender, not demanding)Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!For Real on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

At the end of 2023, there was this phrase I kept hearing in my head on repeat. "It doesn't feel safe to slow down."I'd end my days feeling completely depleted mentally, physically, and emotionally. And yet I'd still push myself to do more. Sometimes it was work stuff, sometimes it was home stuff. But I had this constant, almost compulsive need to be doing something productive at all times. Rest felt elusive, like this thing other people could do, once they'd earned it. For me, rest basically just meant sleep. It was a quick reset so I could get up and do it all over again.Sound familiar? Let's figure out how we can unlearn that habit.-----Episode Mentioned: 314. The 3 Small Habit Shifts That Changed My Energy, Focus, and CEO Mindset---Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!For Real on Social Media:Instagram: @forrealwithmegFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

For years, the events and hospitality industry has glorified burnout—long hours, nonstop chaos, toxic management—and called it passion. But what if there's a better way?Anthony Lambatos, CEO of Footers Catering and founder of Make It Better Every Day, joins us today to prove that you can build a thriving business and a culture people actually want to be part of. He’s created a workplace where fun and productivity go hand in hand, and where culture isn’t a poster on the wall—it’s lived and breathed, every day.Whether you lead a team now or dream of growing one someday, this episode will get you thinking about what’s possible when you lead with heart.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ Why fun and productivity aren’t mutually exclusive✅ How to identify the biggest culture killer in your business (hint: it might be your “top performer”)✅ A simple matrix to assess culture fit vs. job performance✅ What it really takes to live your values, not just list them ✅ How to spark team buy-in and momentum when shifting culture ✅ Anthony’s favorite interview tactic to determine who’s truly aligned ✅ What “balance” really means in hospitality—and how to model it ✅ The one piece of advice he wishes he could give his younger selfConnect with Anthony Lambatos:Website and Weekly Leadership Newsletter: https://themibe.comHeart Leadership Workshop: August 18–19, 2025: https://themibe.com/mibeworkshopMIBE Summit: January 2026 (dates TBA): https://themibe.com/summit00:00:00 – Burnout, chaos, and shifting toxic norms in hospitality00:03:38 – Why bad leadership models persist—and how to break the cycle00:05:24 – The culture boulder: how to build momentum (and know who’s pulling it back)00:08:07 – The culture vs. performance matrix—and how to handle toxic high performers00:13:25 – Values on the wall vs. values in practice00:17:04 – Fab Tigers, Jimmy Bucks, and reinforcing behavior through story00:19:15 – Why they all eat lunch together—and what happens during it00:23:45 – How Anthony’s team handles feedback and vulnerability00:25:41 – The 7-step hiring process (and the “deck of values” trick)00:30:00 – 4 characteristics of top performers: perseverance, initiative, teamwork, positivity00:33:48 – Where Anthony learned to lead—and how he learned what not to do 00:36:00 – Pom poms, productivity, and making work fun again 00:38:36 – The three foundations of culture: strengths, purpose, and people----Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

If you’ve ever had that feeling about someone on your team—the subtle “something’s off” whisper in your gut—you’re not alone.In this episode, Megan is joined by her longtime COO and teammate of 14 years, Gina Johnston, to unpack one of the trickiest leadership challenges: knowing when to coach…and when to cut ties.Whether you’re leading a team of 10 or just thinking about hiring your first assistant, this is the honest, behind-the-scenes conversation every business owner needs to hear.Because sometimes, leadership isn’t about waving pom-poms. It’s about setting clear expectations, having hard conversations, and asking yourself the uncomfortable but necessary question:Is this a coaching opportunity…or is it time to let them go?What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ The 3 must-dos for onboarding a new team member✅ What’s actually coachable—and what probably isn’t ✅ The leadership mistake Megan made that cost her time and energy (so you can avoid it) ✅ Why you shouldn’t hire in a moment of panic (and what to do if you already did) ✅ How to avoid getting stuck in the dreaded “gray zone” of mediocre team performance ✅ The one thing people pleasers need to hear when it’s time to let someone go ✅ A free resource to improve your team’s communication and event debriefsFree Resource:Post-Event Team Feedback Questionnaire Get Megan & Gina’s go-to tool for checking in with your team after each event. It’s simple, practical, and a game-changer for team growth and accountability. Download it here - https://learn.theplannersvault.com/teameventdebriefTimestamps:00:00 – The hiring gut check no one talks about 02:27 – Meet Gina: 14 years, one unicorn hire 04:11 – Why panic hiring is usually a mistake 08:01 – The 3 non-negotiables for onboarding 13:21 – How to give (and track) meaningful feedback 16:10 – What you can coach (and how) 18:55 – What you can’t coach—no matter how nice they are 20:41 – People pleasing vs. leadership 24:24 – Boundaries when you’re also friends 28:15 – Using vendors as a feedback loop 29:21 – Let your team fail (seriously) 30:07 – How to navigate the gray zone with clarity 31:27 – Final takeaways + how to lead with intentionWeddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Let's talk about fear. I don't mean the kind of fear you might feel when you're being chased by a giant bear, or fear of all those dang bees that hang around your house. I mean the kind that shows up when you're about to raise your prices. Or finally launch that thing that you've been talking about for years. Or the fear that comes up when you say no to a client that's not the right fit. Or that fear that pops up when there's an opportunity in front of you that takes you off the path of what you had expected or planned to do, and it leaves you questioning whether you should say yes. Fear is real. But the question is, how do you know if something isn't aligned? Or if you're just afraid to take that next step?---Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault. The doors are currently closed for The Planner's Vault, but join the wait list now so you can be the first to know when the doors re-open.Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Earfluence.