Frustrated And Exhausted

In this episode, Ruth sits down with Naveli Ahuja-Mehta, an accomplished finance director whose career has spanned continents and industries—from India to Kenya to Austria to the UK, and from engineering consultancies to investment management and transformation leadership. The conversation explores what it means to trust yourself, embrace risk, and forge a career path that goes beyond expectations and conventions.GuestNaveli Ahuja-MehtaFinance Director, experienced across diverse sectors: engineering consultancy, asset management, and more Transformational leader, passionate about curiosity and self-trust Contact details available in episode show notesKey TopicsThe impact of early life relocation and multicultural experiences on resilience and adaptability (03:06–09:41)Navigating self-trust and confidence through shifting environments (10:13–14:28)The role of curiosity and adventurism in career decision-making (15:12–17:20)Choosing unconventional professional routes and resisting pressure to conform (20:04–21:44)Overcoming imposter syndrome, especially as a woman in male-dominated and changing industries (24:13–28:31)The value of visibility and the advantage of “not fitting in” (28:33–32:36)The critical importance of sponsors, mentors, and leaders who help you see your own strengths (32:14–33:10)Leadership principles: authenticity, investing time in others, and facilitating open, transparent relationships (34:20–38:32)Re-entering the workforce after parental leave, the emotional and practical challenges involved (46:02–49:03)Advice to her younger self: be more patient, embrace the journey, and trust that doing what lights you up will serve you best (50:08–51:44)TakeawaysUnconventional choices often yield the greatest personal and professional growth The experience of “not fitting in” can become a superpower if you own it The support of mentors and open leaders is vital at every step Learning, growth, and self-trust are circular: each builds the other Motherhood requires hard choices, but authenticity and openness pave the way aheadStay tuned for more episodes on leadership, work realities, and forging your own path. Reach out with your questions, thoughts, or stories—Ruth would love to hear from you!Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

Welcome to a special two-year anniversary compilation episode of "Frustrated and Exhausted." This week, the focus is on resilience—but not in the “just carry on” sense. The conversation centers on women, career, and leadership, celebrating how real resilience is about self-knowledge, owning your experience, and resisting the urge to shrink.Featured Guests and Themes:Hilary Ross: Opens the episode with an honest look at what it means to be resilient in the workplace. Hilary shares how her trigger point is not being heard, and the ways she’s reframed invisibility and setbacks through her career. She reflects on managing high-performing teams, overcoming perfectionism, and adapting to constant change.Monica Nangia: Offers perspective on resilience as self-advocacy, specifically for women whose identities are often overlooked or misunderstood. Monica discusses the “prove it again” bias, the exhaustion of being hyper-visible yet overlooked for promotions, and the cultural taxation faced by women of color. She stresses the need for allies in achieving meaningful change within organizations.Elizabeth Brower: Shares her personal journey through burnout and what it taught her about sustainable leadership. Elizabeth talks about the danger of glorifying overwork, encourages listeners to pause and reconnect with themselves, and champions the importance of rest, boundaries, and redefining success.Key Takeaways:Resilience is not about being unbreakable; it’s about understanding yourself deeply, focusing on progress, and rejecting unrealistic performance standards.Recognizing and addressing systemic barriers (like visibility biases and unpaid labor in EDI work) is vital for creating genuinely inclusive workplaces.Rest isn’t a luxury—it's foundational for well-being and effective leadership. It’s time to stop glorifying constant availability and start supporting active downtime for everyoneHilary Ross on Visibility and Resilience: [00:01:09 - 00:01:53] — On not being heard, invisibility, and changing perspective.: [00:02:21 - 00:03:10] — On setbacks, management, and resilience.: [00:03:11 - 00:03:57] — High achievers, perfectionism, and incremental progress.: [00:04:33 - 00:05:15] — Post-Covid workplace control and the importance for women.Dr. Monica Nangia on Resilience as Self-Advocacy: [00:06:10 - 00:06:59] — ‘Prove it again’ bias and the burden of always having to demonstrate competence.: [00:07:02 - 00:07:43] — Hypervisibility vs. invisibility and challenges for women of color.: [00:08:08 - 00:09:31] — Cultural taxation, EDI work, and lack of representation in senior roles.: [00:09:31 - 00:09:58] — Broken rung theory and the impact of visible role models.: [00:11:07 - 00:11:29] — The need for allies and support.Elizabeth Brauer’s Journey from Burnout to Reconnection: [00:12:25 - 00:13:10] — Burnout, vulnerability, and redefining success.: [00:14:26 - 00:14:49] — Advice for those feeling stuck in a workaholic persona.: [00:14:49 - 00:15:52] — Reconnecting with oneself and celebrating achievements.: [00:16:27 - 00:17:21] — Taking personal time and day-to-day autopilot.: [00:17:41 - 00:18:35] — The one piece of career advice she’d ban: “always being on.”Thanks for listening to this episode of "Frustrated and Exhausted." Your journey of self-awareness and authentic leadership starts here.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this insightful episode, I dive deep into the theme of self-reflection and authenticity in leadership. I explore how leaders can become distanced from their true selves, often falling for a curated and polished version that feels safe and familiar. Through personal stories and coaching anecdotes, I unpack the subtle dangers of self-delusion and the ego’s protective fog.00:01:00 – 00:02:14Discussion about blind spots, the role of ego in clouding our self-view, and how we often curate a polished version of ourselves as leaders.00:02:14 – 00:03:17Explores self-delusion and reframes it as self-protection; describes how our brains help maintain identity and how we rationalize behaviors.00:03:17 – 00:04:03Provides examples of how leaders might use “style” as armor, referencing a coached leader who inadvertently built a team that avoided challenging her.00:04:03 – 00:04:51Illustrates how lack of self-awareness leads to growing distortions and compares it to a hall of mirrors; warns against mistaking control for clarity.00:04:51 – 00:05:42Describes a 'crack in the mirror' moment, when feedback or crisis reveals unfiltered truth, which though harsh, can be a gift for growth.00:05:42 – 00:07:01Gives practical advice on inviting honest reflection, rewarding feedback, and sitting with discomfort instead of immediately rationalizing or distancing.00:07:01 – 00:07:43Talks about discerning the validity of feedback, considering repeated patterns, and encourages facing uncomfortable truths for real leadership.00:07:43 – 00:08:20Warns against over-polishing personal brand, advocates for brave authenticity, and reflects on the messy nature of real leadership.00:08:20 – 00:09:20Wraps up advice, hopes listeners take the lessons with them, and remarks on recognizing self-delusion moments in self and others.If this episode resonated with you, made you rethink your own reflection, or even just reassured you that you’re not alone in the messy journey of leadership, reach out! I welcome questions, feedbackConnect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

Today, we’re diving deep into the lesser-talked-about “shadowy side” of leadership. While leadership is often framed around positivity, strength, and values, there’s a whole set of unseen influences—the parts of ourselves we’d rather not acknowledge—that shape the way we lead. Drawing on ideas from Freud, Carl Jung, and practical leadership coaching, we explore how ignoring our shadows can come back to bite us, why avoidance doesn’t make our flaws disappear, and how self-awareness and ownership are crucial to sustainable, authentic leadership.[00:01:06] – The Concept of the Shadow in LeadershipExplanation that every leader has a “shadow”—the unseen, often uncomfortable parts of ourselves.Emphasis on being kind to oneself when exploring these difficult aspects.[00:02:01] – The Importance of Self-awarenessWhy it’s easier to focus on strengths rather than shadows.References to psychological theories (Freud, Jung) and the idea of “unknown unknowns.”[00:03:07] – How Shadows Show UpExamples of how shadow traits manifest (avoiding conflict, craving approval, perfectionism).Emphasizing that these are not “bad,” but very human responses.[00:04:56] – Shadow Becomes Destructive When IgnoredThe dangers of blind spots and repressed traits.Examples from coaching practice: leaders are often rewarded for the “light” side and overlook the shadow.The impact of stress—how strengths can morph into their shadow side.[00:07:56] – Consequences of Denying the ShadowHow the shadow “leaks” out in behaviors like micromanagement, frustration, passive aggression, or withdrawal.Analogy: the shadow is like an invisible draft.[00:08:32] – Recognizing and Owning Our ShadowImportance of self-ownership—acknowledging both positive and negative sides.With self-awareness comes choice and the ability to change or set boundaries.[00:10:33] – Reflection Questions for ListenersPrompts to consider where their shadow might be impacting their leadership.Overusing strengths, avoiding issues, or emotionally outsourcing.Bringing your shadow side into awareness is about embracing your whole self. This self-ownership helps you make conscious choices, identify and fulfill your needs, and show up more authentically—at work and in life.If you’re showing up in spaces not made for you—keep going. You’re seen, and you’re not alone.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode, we tackle the all-too-familiar “buffet” approach to time—why piling your schedule high with every request isn’t sustainable, and how to protect your energy for what really matters. The host shares practical strategies for setting boundaries, having trade-off conversations, and making your time more impactful—especially for women leaders prone to overcommitting.[00:01:02] – Connecting the buffet analogy to overstuffed workloads at work[00:01:46] – Why September is a peak "just a quick thing" season and prime time for overcommitment[00:02:36] – The challenge of boundaries, especially for women, and reframing them as necessary for impact[00:03:03] – Every yes is a no to something else; protecting your time is protecting your leadership[00:03:55] – Practical tool: Trading instead of saying a flat "no" (“Yes, if…” responses)[00:04:23] – Practical tool: Time boxing (“I can give you 15 minutes to scope this…”)[00:05:52] – Practical tool: The "parking bay" (capturing ideas/requests without committing now)[00:06:32] – Script examples you can use this week to help with boundaries[00:07:26] – Flipping the decision back to the requester to clarify priorities[00:08:27] – Ask yourself: “Where am I leaking 10% of my week?” and being tight on the quick favours[00:08:54] – Practice the tools suggested and notice the space createdRemember: “Your time isn’t a buffet. You don’t have to pile your plate to prove your worth.”Thank you for listening! Protect your plate and focus on what truly moves the needle.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website