Fusion Patrol

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, John and Eugene analyze two contrasting episodes from Season 1 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: “A Blast for Buck” and “Ardala Returns.” They explore the quirky narrative of “A Blast for Buck,” a clip show that offers a humorous spin on nostalgia while critiquing the logic behind its past villains. They examine the use of limericks and the challenges of tension-building in traditional clip shows. Transitioning to “Ardala Returns,” they delve into character dynamics with Princess Ardala and Killer Kane, discussing how their interactions deepen viewer engagement while highlighting the absurdity of the sci-fi genre. Through a lively dialogue about humor, character development, and narrative structure, and they reflect on the show’s evolution. Next Week: The Invaders – NightmareNext on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Twiki us Missing Follow this blog on Mastodon or the Fediverse to receive updates directly in your feed.

This week Simon and Eugene look at Real Humans, Season 2, Episode 3, and discuss whether coincidence in television is a product of convenience or pleasing the audience, whether the Hubot virus is mining Bitcoin, which characters might benefit from an external battery pack, and how on earth you would retrieve a retractable cord from a Hubitron 400 once the plug is cut. Next Time on Real Humans: Season 2, Episode 4 Follow this blog on Mastodon or the Fediverse to receive updates directly in your feed.

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, John and Eugene analyze Season 1, Episode 15 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, titled “Happy Birthday, Buck.” The narrative explores Buck’s existential crisis as he confronts his 534th birthday and feels a sense of nostalgia for 20th century Chicago. Next episode: The Invaders – VikorNext on Buck Rogers: A Blast for Buck & Ardala Returns Follow this blog on Mastodon or the Fediverse to receive updates directly in your feed.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the second episode of the second series of Real Humans. They discuss Chekhov’s robot grandfather, the Swedish electoral system, whether induction hobs are better than gas, and whether they would switch on digital replicas of their deceased loved ones. Next week: This Island Earth (1955)

It’s the episode everyone has been waiting for! John and Eugene review Space Vampire! They discuss the surprisingly effective direction of Buck Rogers’ take on the horror genre, the curious omission of the named “Dracula,” and they welcome the return of “Sexy Wilma.” Next time on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Happy Birthday, BuckNext Week on Fusion Patrol: The Invaders, Genesis

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the second episode of Real Humans, season 2, where they discuss the changes between the last season and this, or lack thereof, the loss of some of the interesting ambiguities, and whether there is a Swedish TV body count limit. Next Week: Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea: The Sky’s on Fire.

This week, Eugene and John explore *Buck Rogers in the 25th Century*, Season 1, Episode 13, “Cruise Ship to the Stars.” They call out the awkward attraction between the 500+ year old Buck and the 19 year old Ms. Cosmos, critique the episode’s convoluted plot, humorously discuss Twiki’s romance, and ponder 2491’s beauty standards. Next time on Buck Rogers: Space VampireNext week on Fusion Patrol: The Invaders – The Leeches

In this week’s episode of Fusion Patrol, Simon and Eugene dissect the series finale of Bugs, focusing on the two-part episode “Money Spiders” and “The Enemy Within.” They argue over which of the many things Alex should have been fired for, they discuss whether the G5 is the chip Apple released five years after the show and why they didn’t use a Pentium chip to run a Windows program, and they talk about how Bugs went out with a whimper, not a bang, not even a single bang. Join the conversation and revisit the thrilling conclusion of Bugs with them this week! Next Week: World Beyond Movie Night looks at Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1961)

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, we explore “Escape from Wedded Bliss,” the twelfth episode of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. The plot unfolds as a menacing space probe prompts the Federation to act, while Princess Ardala plots to capture Buck as leverage against them. Amidst a chaotic reception, Buck navigates Ardala’s royal wedding challenges, ultimately facing off against Tiger Man. We critique the episode’s pacing and examine Ardala’s character, blending humor with serious themes.Next week: The Invaders, The MutationNext on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Cruise Ship to The Stars Transcript Eugene: Hello and welcome to another episode of Fusion Patrol. I’m Eugene. John: And I’m John. Eugene: And tonight we’re looking at Season 1, Episode 12 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Escape from Wedded Bliss. Episode Synopsis. An unmanned space probe enters Earth’s orbit and adopts a threatening posture. Heuer orders it destroyed. However, the Starfighter’s pulsars are ineffective against it. It fires off a massive beam weapon, strikes outside New Chicago. Clearly, it was a warning shot. Aboard a draconian flagship, Cain and Ardala discuss Emperor Drago’s orders to destroy the Earth with the weapon. Ardala, over Cain’s protestations, is making some alterations to her daddy’s plan. She contacts Hewer and demands a meeting with the heads of the Federation and Captain Buck Rogers. At the reception, Buck’s contamination of 25th century culture continues unabated as a roller disco performance tortures the guests. Addressing the delegates, Ardala makes her plans known. Soon, she will replace her father as Draconian Empress. To secure that throne, she must marry the most genetically perfect man in the galaxy. That man is Buck Rogers. If the Earth does not turn over Buck Rogers to her to be her husband, their weapon will destroy all the cities on Earth. Later, to Wilma’s surprise, Buck appears to be running away. She assures him that the Federation Council will not sacrifice him, and they’re working on a plan to get her aboard the Draconia, destroy the weapons. Buck explains that it is hopeless without knowing the interior layout of the Triconia and the location of the weapon’s controls. He continues his preparations. The deadline arrives and Dr. Hewer delivers Earth’s answer. We’re not going to give you Buck Rogers. Ardala leaves, vowing reprisals in an hour. Buck is ready to head out on his trip, but Tweaky also does not believe he’s running. Buck admits to him that it’s a plan and eventually gives in to Tweaky’s emotional blackmail and takes him along. As Buck and Tweaky travel across the atomic wastelands outside New Chicago, Ardala blasts a few empty buildings in New Chicago and then gives Dr. Hewer two more hours to hand over Buck. The Federation Council buckles and agrees to hand over Buck. On the Draconia, Cain is still upset that Ardala is defying the Emperor’s direct orders. Ardala explains that once she has Buck and they’re safely returned to Draconian’s base, she will send the weapon back to destroy the Earth. Buck has reached his destination, a cave where Garadon, a former Draconian engineer, hides. He was tired of the fighting, and Buck saved him and gave him a place to live. Now, Buck wants a favor from him. Technical layouts of the Draconia. Both Earth forces and Draconian forces have tracked Buck here, and a fight begins, which the Earth forces win. Buck and Garadon are taken back to New Chicago, where Garadon’s brain is scanned for details on the Draconia. It will take time to analyze. More time than they have. Buck leaves for the draconia and the waiting princess. Ardala, alone with Buck, explains the three phases of a draconian royal wedding. In phase one, they get to know each other and get frisky. In phase two, Buck must prove his worth in combat against Tiger Man. And in phase three, they are married, and Buck is given an irremovable neck collar that can kill him instantly if he ever displeases Ardala. Phase 1 begins, and as things get frisky, Buck pulls out a concealed device which puts Ardala to sleep. He escapes into the ship, where it is revealed that he has a secret transmitter on him. He contacts Huer and Wilma, and they give him the probable location of the weapon’s controls. Ardala is too light of a sleeper, though, and she awakens before Buck can get to the weapon. Alerting security, Cain soon has Buck subdued and returned to the princess. So much for Phase 1. Thinking Buck was just trying to escape, they proceed to phase two. Buck learns that he doesn’t just have to fight Tiger Man, he must either kill or be killed by Tiger Man. The fight goes precisely as expected with Buck defeating, but refusing to kill Tiger Man. When Buck puts down his weapon, Tiger Man pounces and tries to kill Buck. Again defeats Tigerman and holds a sword to his throat, still refusing to kill him until Ardala declares Buck the winner. As a show of good faith, Cain withdraws the weapon from Earth’s orbit and puts it in a defensive posture around the Draconia. Buck tries to rattle his cage, knowing that Cain, also an Earthman, harbors ambitions of marrying Ardala, taking over the Draconian Empire. Buck suggests he turn the weapon on Emperor Draco and seize power now. Cain simply replies that he only need to wait until Ardala inevitably kills Rogers. The wedding begins, and moments before Buck is fitted with the collar, he drops a concealed blacklight bomb, steals a weapon, and makes a break for the weapon control. Inside the control booth, which is impenetrable to Draconian’s gun blasts, Buck puts the weapon on overload, destroying it. The overload blast stuns Buck and throws him to the floor. Ardala orders Tigerman to grab Buck and bring him to her. Tigerman refuses and takes Ardala hostage instead until she agrees to let Buck go. Tigerman, his life debt repaid to Buck, stays behind to face punishment. Back on Earth, Buck shows that there are no hard feelings about Earth betraying him to the princess by preparing some soybean derivative split pea soup for his friends. The end. Okay. Escape from Wedded Bliss. What do you think? John: I like the bit about the split pea soup. Eugene: That was a long time coming in the episode. Like 45 minutes before we got to that. John: It was well worth it. That was some fine looking soup. Eugene: It was at least green. John: Yeah, it was. Eugene: It was green. I wish they had gone there with Twiki, you know, trying to see if, you know, he can’t digest food. He can taste. And then, you know, it’s like, how? I don’t want to know. Maybe I don’t want to know. John: Yeah. Who knows? Eugene: Maybe they pour it over the top of his helmet. John: Maybe they just stick his finger in it or something like that. Eugene: There’s a straw there yeah there. John: You go it was it felt like a filler episode kind of ambitious for a filler episode but a filler episode nevertheless the uh yeah. Eugene: I don’t disagree i i don’t disagree you know it’s the funny thing is i remember all episodes of buck rogers some more than others space vampire for for example but and i remember this one i remember buck having to fight tiger men and i remember but i remember the weapon and i remember princess ardala you know hot and heavy for buck as usual, but the rest of the episode i was watching this going i don’t remember any of this i don’t remember buck going out into the wastelands which are not very wastelandy and finding you know when i watched the opening credits and it said alfred rider was in it i’m like professor crater you know from star trek uh and a million other things nexus from the invaders and it’s just you know a guy you see all the time a very distinctive face i’m like i don’t remember him ever being in buck rogers yeah and barely in it he’s barely in it and yet he got no credit at the opening part and And then just a few, yeah, it’s really weird. Yes, it it it’s not just that it feels like a filler episode. It feels like they had to put in a lot of filler to make the episode into an episode. And I think that’s probably why it kind of rambles on. Do you know, there was a one minute and 44 seconds of roller disco. John: I was kind of hoping that you would time that because I definitely want to. Eugene: I didn’t want to either but i use the video beauty of video files and marking the time stamps at the beginning and end i didn’t watch it twice so i had to do that i you know scroll back there it is start from the end stop subtract this time you know it’s one minute and 45 seconds of roller disco and drooling looks between buck and ardala particularly yeah not. John: Not anybody else who’s in the the room with the roller skaters every all the humans in there look like they are absolutely bored. Eugene: Bored senseless yes the guy next to you are over there is just like yeah yeah you. John: Woke me up for this. Eugene: You had to you had to collect me to come to this meeting i exactly. John: This could have been an email if we. Eugene: Had email in the future yeah it’s like just give him buck oh he brought this roller disco stuff and and i might as well go right there to the roller disco stuff in the movie music was i mean it was still music but obviously it was very not funky right we have that whole sequence where everyone’s dancing in this sort of formal ballroom kind of performance and then we have suddenly buck going up and like come on guys you know get some funky You get some, you know, down and a thing. And then only Buck and R-Doll are the ones that can actually sort of move around. And then suddenly, roller disco? Oh. just pops it where it must be bucks doing either. John: That or maybe it’s there a touring troupe of roller disco the dancers from another colony someplace i don’t know. Eugene: I swear i thought one of them was owen wilson oh. John: That’s entirely possible. Eugene: It’s not it’s not it’s not yeah yeah i did finally find their names of the the roller yeah it’s not owen wilson but and he’s boy to be too old or too young yeah yeah because i was looking at the i was looking at the uh stuff and i’m like pamela hensley was 29 years old when this episode aired and she is 73 years old now, feel old now because i sure do. John: Yeah okay that. Eugene: That is i mean i didn’t i didn’t exactly hate the episode but at the same time there wasn’t much to it. John: No you could. Eugene: Put pamela hensley on screen and. John: Um you. Eugene: Know okay all right yeah it’s like i can watch this. John: You know i in my notes i have hensley is cute but hardly worth it uh it’s you know oh she’s way too high maintenance clearly, nobody’s that cute oh i mean there’s a lot of makeup involved i’m sure but, it’s just that not a very it did not deliver a very captivating performance and none of them did really well i mean like buck and the the regulars the usuals of the the crew were doing what they normally do then you know it was a normal episode for them a lot less acting required by a wilma and huer because they weren’t in it that much not much no but yeah it just, the the pacing the episode was just uh faltering not that it was really trying too hard, it’s yeah it’s ambling along yeah and and i have in my notes here ardala might be able to become a little bit more two-dimensional if she tried a little harder yeah well yeah, Yeah, it’s just like, oh, yeah, she wants a shiny thing. Oh, great. Whatever. Emperor’s daughter. She has to get the shiny thing. So bring the shiny thing over. Eugene: I want the shiny thing. John: Okay, fine. Whatever. She’ll find another one tomorrow. Eugene: I do. And I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it probably every time we see Pamela Hensley. How can she walk through narrow doorways? You know, she’s always coming through a double wide door because if she came through a regular sized door, she would bruise her hips. as a swing through on either side she has got one hell of a hip swing when she’s walking i mean it’s intentional obviously because she’s the princess but yeah it’s like that is but i remember her on um it’s not matlock it’s matt houston i think she walked the same way in matt houston, so i did not watch the show very often but my dad did and you know if you’re walking through the room and you see panel hensley banging your hips on a doorway like oh panel hensley there’s that distinctive sound yeah i’m just gonna swing go ahead i. John: Was gonna say i didn’t realize she was in rollerball. Eugene: Oh, yeah, she was one of the prozies, I think. John: Yeah, one of the women procured for Karn. Yeah, and getting it mixed up with Slannick Green, unfortunately. Eugene: Not as much rollerblading in this. John: Exactly, yeah. Still dystopian. Eugene: More eating, less rollerblading. John: Yes. Yeah. Eugene: All right, I’m just going to run through my notes in no logical order, and some of them are picky, and some of them we’ve already covered. So, opening sequence. The ship flies over Earth, it’s in orbit over New Chicago, and who is out there? It’s Wilma and Buck. And why are Wilma and Buck out there? Well, presumably Wilma’s out there because they don’t have anybody else in Earth Defense Force whose job it is to be on duty when something happens and fly up. You know, someone is on scramble, scramble. It’s like, oh, it’s Wilma today. No, I don’t think it is. I do not think it’s going to be Wilma. I think it’s going to be a grunt. But OK. And then this thing, this obviously advanced thing. It’s like, oh, we brought Buck along just in case it happened to be a 20th century space probe. Really? John: Something ancient. Eugene: Something ancient. It’s like, really? I think it was just an excuse to have the two of you in the opening sequence. Other than that. Yeah. One of those things. So this weapon is not really a weapon. It’s a mining device. And it’s kind of funny. It’s a it’s an interesting little line that our dollar says that is more interesting than the rest of the episode to me. And that is, we found it on one of our two-year expeditions to the Galactic Center. John: Yes. I’d like to hear more about that, please. Eugene: Yes, I would, too. John: What other things did you find? And what is at the Galactic Center? Is it chewy or crunchy? Eugene: Maybe at some point, Buck will manage to get himself on a starship, and they can go exploring space, the final frontier, and go on missions. It would be horrible. It would be horrible. it would definitely be a mistake yeah yeah so but if this thing is such an incredibly powerful weapon you can’t destroy it with your guns uh how did the draconians get it. John: Oh i’m gonna guess what they did is they went to the people who are running it killed them and then took the control equipment there you go problem solved except. Eugene: That they have this massive weapon. John: Yes that they use as a mining device and they’re terribly short-sighted didn’t realize it could be used as a weapon it’s like every science fiction book and movie where you have a spacecraft with a fusion drive or something like that fusion drives are great for moving a spaceship really fast but you turn it around and it is an awesome weapon, You could probably flatten an entire planet, given a short amount of time. Eugene: Yeah, I suppose. So I’m going to say, I think I’ve said this before, I like Buck Rogers in the 25th century. I like Gil Gerard as Buck Rogers in the 25th century. He comes off as a really amiable guy, likable person, who can be a bit of a jerk, obviously. John: Oh, yeah. Eugene: So he’s got a little bit of a thing. So I have no complaints about his portrayal or the casting of him. But you have really got to sell me a bill of goods to convince me that Buck Rogers is the most genetically perfect man in the galaxy. John: Well, I would say that his genetic material is probably fresher. Yeah, fresher. Eugene: Less worn down. yes. John: I would say that it’s because he comes from a time before the atomic holocaust and he doesn’t have that higher background radiation degradation of his dna that everybody else on earth would have and all the colonies and stuff. Eugene: Ignoring the. John: Whole if you’re asleep in a spaceship for 500 years you’re still absorbing radiation so you would have well whatever uh science technical stuff i will dispel it with a modicum of hand wavium there done. Eugene: Would you have thought that our dolla was the universe’s biggest optimist because you’ve got you’ve got a situation here of half glass full half glass empty uh half full most genetically perfect man in the galaxy half empty least degenically compromised man in the galaxy yeah and then that doesn’t take into account all the draconians who i are they men does it have to be a human from earth i mean that part’s a little i mean we know why ardala wants him ardala wants him because, yeah exactly wants him but exactly but you know somebody else has got to be convinced that he’s the most genetically perfect guy in the galaxy like the emperor and like the people of draconia. John: So, yeah, I believe there is an episode that actually is about having genetic perfection. Eugene: I believe you’re correct. John: Don’t want to skip into the future, but I’m sure we can revisit this soon. Eugene: We are going to violate the temporal prime directive a little bit later here in this episode. But apart from that, we’ll we’ll try to. Yeah, we’ll try to generally sort of. I didn’t mention that there’s going to be a rock and roll band later on. So that was, despite the roller disco. John: I had forgotten that. Thanks. Eugene: You’re welcome. Wait till you hear 20 minutes of that same song. The only tune they play. But we’ll come to that. Your seems to have been demoted. Did you get that feeling? John: No. From what little I saw of him in the episode, he seemed to be. Eugene: He wasn’t the guy that made the decision to send Buck back it was the Federation Council well. John: Maybe there’s been a push for more oversight. Eugene: Yeah that’s what I mean in previous episodes going back say you know like to the first few of the season he was pretty much the word, even though he was just in charge of quote unquote the defense director He seemed to be the boss man in absence of the computer council. But in this, he’s he’s maybe the head chairman of the council. I’m not sure. But he certainly didn’t feel like he was calling the shots at times. And I thought it was kind of odd But then if he had been calling the shots Then he definitely would have been the guy Who had to crumble And go, I’m sorry, Buck, I’m going to have to send you to Ardala I know that that’s against our principles And I said I wouldn’t do it, But, you know, they blew up a, you know, a thing and they could kill us all. And the, and the weird part is I know they’ve got the whole ploy about Buck going out into the atomic, the green lush atomic waste. John: Yes. Eugene: But anybody who knows Buck would go, Buck would just turn himself in. He would just go, you know, you have no choice. I’ll, I’ll go do it. I’m going to win it here, you know? but he didn’t he did that whole subterfuge thing yeah it’s kind of odd yeah also the federation council i love the fact that heuer is like all right well theo i’m gonna need your help rounding up the federation council what are they cattle it’s like there’s an odd turn of phrase it’s like and you think you can figure it out he’s like i’m thinking earth’s been attacked the federation council probably should have tuned in on the tv yeah i’ve been notified that there’s been yeah some developments but it sounds like they’re off doing you know whatever and see if you can find them i think some are at the spa yeah go go check the local. John: Bars and the jail. Eugene: So here’s the other thing we briefly touched on it, but this is an odd episode because of how, what a wonderfully principled stand they take. You know, we will not turn somebody over for blackmail. Oh yeah. Yeah, we will. We will turn somebody over for blackmail because like I say, you know, presumably they’re supposed to stand for something. and you don’t the threat didn’t change right our dollar showed what the weapon could do, and they’re like she can blow a hole in the ground outside new chicago well we have principles no you can’t have buck rogers and we’ll stand up to him and say no you can’t have buck rogers and then she blows up a couple ample buildings a little closer to town and they’re all like okay oh oh, she could actually shoot us it’s like turn that guy over right now get over that guy right now yeah do we really. John: Need this gentleman in our society no we don’t. Eugene: And it really is goofy because in any other episode buck would have assessed that situation on the ground at the beginning and said you guys have no choice i have to go oh yeah and he could have said, Let’s get the plans to the Draconian. But he didn’t. He pretended like he’s running off. And I don’t know. It was. John: My guess is that I would have been very interested to actually find out how he did this. But maybe he smuggled. What’s the guy’s name? Eugene: Garridan. John: Garridan. Eugene: Sounds like a monster from Ultra Q. John: Yeah, it does, actually. Eugene: Yeah. John: Smuggle the kaiju egg back From the draconian ship And incubate it Oh wait no, Yeah Maybe he smuggled them to Earth, because i mean. Eugene: Why wouldn’t earth give him asylum but okay you. John: Have a draconian who’s sitting out living in a cave uh. Eugene: Yeah yeah why okay are there any. John: Other draconian sitting out there. Eugene: Other well we’ve come back to that in a few minutes won’t we but yeah so here’s my question so buck does go to the guy buck convinces him to help but the only way they’re going to get that information in sufficient detail is to take him back to new chicago and scan his brain how exactly was he going to do that i don’t know actually out there going hey could you just draw me a hand map of the draconian yeah exactly put an x on the spot where you think they might have installed a new secret secret weapon that you’ve never heard of before right. John: You know what’s the most logical place to put it yeah. Eugene: What was he gonna do he had to be taken back and have his brain scan. It’s the only way this would have worked. John: Yeah. I’m guessing that his idea was, he was, he was going to talk to him and appeal to his sense of right and wrong and all that kind of fun stuff. Eugene: Then you have to come back and get scanned. John: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Eugene: Would have been so much easier if he just gone out there right away and you know, but why did he have to have a motorcycle? Why couldn’t he just take one of the ground cars? John: Well, you know, cause motorcycles were in back then. Eugene: With sidecars with yes with sidecars that was convenient for tweak yeah yeah well so i i do want to say this though you know turning buck over was a betrayal by the spineless council that is that was a you know we sacrifice your life for ours hi we’re craven but dot somebody putting a tracker on tweaky seems like you were all the way Ha ha. Right. I mean, that’s even more of a, that that’s a, Oh heck. John: It was just a little air tag they found. Eugene: That feels a little more, I don’t know, calculating. The council is just like, Ooh, quaking in their boots. Fine. We’ll turn him over. But here had to go ahead and do something to make sure I can catch Buck in the event that the council decides to turn him over. John: Right. Eugene: So that’s some… Yeah, that’s just odd. John: Well, I think also that Hewer understands that Buck may have other plans and may not be very forthcoming with that information to the council. And yeah, let’s keep tabs on that. Eugene: That truly is Dr. Hewer betraying Buck. John: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eugene: I mean, that definitely he he needs to eat that split pea soup. John: Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Eugene: You will eat this soup, and I don’t care how bad it is. John: Yeah. Eugene: You will deal with it. John: I’m pretty sure that the food that Buck makes and offers and tries to get everybody to eat is his form of retribution and passive aggressiveness towards these people. Because he really can’t do anything else to them. I mean, they give him a place to live and something to do, and he’s helping out and stuff. Eugene: But still, here’s something we do not know about Buck Rogers. And in a way, it makes a difference. Is Buck Rogers a good cook back in the 20th century? Or is Buck Rogers not a good cook? And so, see, it makes a difference if he was good and here he is in the future. He can’t make good because of the ingredients. or he is good and they can’t stand it because they don’t like his food. We don’t know which it is. We really don’t know. John: I’m thinking because he goes out and he tries to recreate things from his past and stuff that he liked to eat that he might have, I wouldn’t say he’d be an excellent cook, but I think he was passable. You know, he, and he figures, yeah, this is a way for me to, you know, spend some time working on stuff and, you know, passing the time period and also to kind of recreate a little bit of home with what he’s got. And he’s good enough in the kitchen that he knows that that those, that’s the tool set that he can use to do this. Eugene: So let’s face it if you if you were a bad cook and i can honestly say i’ve never had any food you’ve cooked i don’t know whether you’re a good cook or bad cook but it’s like if you were a bad cook and you were displaced 500 years right in the future and you were like oh i really really I really wish I had pizza. You might be inclined to try it. Good cook or not. Right. I mean, that’s, as you say, it’s that nostalgia factor. It’s like, you know, there is no other way. I’m just going to have to do this. I don’t know. I just feel like I wish I knew that about Buck because he does not come off like James Bond. James Bond, you know, is an excellent cook. He probably studied the Cordon Bleu, right? It doesn’t matter. He knows all the right wines. He knows exactly the food. He could cook anything he wants, but he doesn’t. He eats in fine restaurants, but he could. Buck? Don’t know. The guy might be able to burn a hamburger every time. we just don’t know and i don’t know i feel like i wish i did because i think they could make the jokes funnier about his food well. John: Hieronymus fox seemed to like his cooking didn’t he. Eugene: Yes now remember hieronymus fox though had given him a pointer the chili to make with the reptile so actually buck may have been doing better because hieronymus gave him a way to make it Because it sounds like Hieronymus Fox is a lot smarter than Buck, and Hieronymus Fox has spent more time trying to figure out how to get what he wants. And he has the resources of a whole planet that are willing to do anything for him. So, yeah. You know, we asked about, are there any other draconians living on the planet? I want to know is, A, sure, okay, Hura put a tracker on Tweaky, and they tracked Tweaky, which led them to Buck. John: Right. Eugene: Buck says, how did the DeCronians find me? They said, oh, they honed in on the same signal. One, how did they know that that signal was intended to be able to track Buck Rogers? And two, how did they get armed troops with vehicles on the surface of the earth? John: Yeah, I guess that dome or sphere of protection that they had earlier is no longer working. Perhaps the warranty expired. Eugene: They still know when ships are coming. You’d think they’d know if Draconia had launched a shuttle with, you know, armored ground troops on it. John: Yeah, I know. Eugene: That part was weird. And was that the Logan’s Run vehicle just repurposed? John: No, I think those might have been from Battlestar Galactica. well. Eugene: The the ones for earth defense but the one for the draconians was very similar. John: I don’t i don’t think so i think if they would have i think they would have had a lot to do a lot of work cutting the top off from that the car didn’t have a top off the draconians one didn’t, sure i thought they were standing open you know with their guns ready to blaze the. Eugene: Humans were but the Triconians were kind of hanging out the side. I think they may have put a turret on the top. John: Oh, maybe that’s what it was. Now, I don’t think it was a solar car. I could be wrong. I think it was one of the, oh, not the snow rams. No. Eugene: Well, they had the snow rams and the land rams on Galactica. John: Maybe? I’d have to go find one of those episodes and look. Eugene: Yeah. Why is it not a barren wasteland? John: I don’t know. Oh, because Southern California isn’t like that, especially in the TMZ. Eugene: Ah, okay. It seems to me like Earth is kind of a pleasant place you could go actually start living in again. John: I know, it wasn’t that bad, except for the, you know, fleshy-headed mutants, which we don’t see much of. Eugene: No, no, in fact, they probably got blown up in that first blast. John: Yeah, exactly, they’re gone. Eugene: Whoops, old Chicago, boom, there you go. So, Buck gets on board the Draconia, and he gets in a little frisky time, a little phase one frisky with the Princess. I think it’s very interesting the way this show is structured. clearly buck is banging everything he can get except for wilma and ardala, right i mean even wilma says i mean the maintenance bot this is i’m not the first person that you snuck in here you know yeah but buck will not do ardala, he won’t even take one for the team he always gets out of sleeping with her, I think his deception would be a lot more convincing if he actually did. Right. It would be a lot more convincing if he slept with her and then put her to sleep. With his little device. John: Oh, that would be more, more James Bond-ish. Eugene: Yes, I know. I know. And it’s, it is, Buck is clearly adhering to this sort of, I don’t like Ardala, therefore, I will not, I will not sleep with her. No matter how hard she tries. John: Yeah, I think that’s pretty much just it. Yeah. Eugene: I think that’s it. I think it’s just a television thing for the kids. We’re just not going to, we’re just not going to allow that, but it is kind of, and then who was the idiot who decided the thing would only keep her unconscious for 15 minutes? John: Yeah, that’s unfortunate. Eugene: That was really short or it felt really short. Maybe he was wandering around the ship for hours, but it doesn’t feel like that. No, it feels like he, you know, kind of went more or less to the right to the place and maybe within half an hour. and then so she wakes up so the device is not very useful, Another thing I am used by on this and several other episodes, it’s the time that this show was made. All the henchmen. What do most of the henchmen draconians have that really is out of place? Very 70s. That’s exactly it. Horrible mustaches. I know, you know, it’s not the United States military and they’ve got hair requirements. and things but the jaconians do look pretty weird just getting a bunch of disco bros with their. Their brush mustaches and sticking a helmet on them going you’re a soldier now boy yeah exactly, does not does not work kane has a great line i think it’s a great line i think it’s it’s one of the it’s one of the he has a couple of pretty decent lines in this episode one of which was that one i mentioned earlier in the recap about i only have to wait until the princess kills you because yeah you know that will happen he knows that buck rogers will do something that will cause her to and then kill him so you know he’s right there rogers is a temporary problem but when he shoots him which thank you rogers beats up a couple of mustached guards and then cane shoots him because yeah that’s what guns are for you’re a stubborn man rogers maybe that’s what the princess sees in you right that is that is pretty insightful because i think that’s part of it i mean i think she thinks rogers is pretty but i also think that it is because he is so stubbornly dead set against her right yeah she it’s like this is the kind of guy i need in my life right. John: Pardon the analogy but she’s found a mountain that she must climb. Eugene: Oh, you said pardon the analogy. I thought you said harden the analogy. John: Whoa. That went so quick, didn’t it? Eugene: Oh, yeah, it did. It did. It’s like, oh, yeah, got it. John: Yeah. Eugene: Speaking of breaking the temporal prime directive. John: Yes. Eugene: Here we go. this is the first appearance of michael ansara as cane placing henry silva in the the movie right the movie and you know he’s a different character he plays it differently but i i like this cane so i’m fine with that but there are some weird things about this episode not just including Cain, there is a later episode of the series called Ardala Returns. And looking at what it’s about and what I recall about it, more logically, that should have come before this one. Right. It it’s more about the old hat replacing the hatchet fighters and Tiger man is still in it as her guard. And, you know, you watch this episode and you would think at the end of it, who is not going to have a job head or life after this? Tiger man. John: Exactly. Eugene: He should be gone. And in fact, in our dollars, then subsequent return, he has been replaced by Panther man, different actor, same role, but different guy. As if, if you had swapped these two around, our dollar returns, she does this thing, Buck defeats her again. I think, I think that’s not spoilery enough that we can go there. And then she comes in She goes wow he beat me twice I really want that guy for my husband Comes back Tries to get him Can’t do it. So then kills Tiger man because obviously Kills tiger man and then she comes back again With panther man As far as I can tell though that it’s not It’s not borne out by the production Order, But it really feels to me Like they thought, you know because you could have just called this one our dollar returns because that’s what you need to know our dollar is back but yeah but by the time it’s the third appearance of our dollar i don’t think our dollar returns is the right name i think at the very least it’s our dollar returns yet again so i don’t know it it feels it feels like this is confused and they are being shown not in production order order but if the production numbers in Wikipedia are to be believed, this did come before unless the production numbers don’t mean the order they were made in either so I don’t know, but just kind of just kind of weird, I thought we weren’t going to you know looking at the list I thought we were going to see her again until our dollar returns but no here we go, Hats off to Buck trying to get Cain to double-cross the Emperor. John: Yeah, that was a nice little, I want to say trick, but. Eugene: Didn’t go anywhere. John: No, well, it learned something about Cain, and that was important. Eugene: Yeah, he’s smarter. He’s smarter than the rest of the Draconians. John: Yes, the ones that we see anyways, yes. Eugene: Yeah you know all our dolla needs is is buck the appearance of a wedding the crown on her head perhaps an offspring or two and then put that collar on buck and zap it into non-existence yep um it’s an interesting it’s an interesting idea it feels like i’ve seen it somewhere else but i can’t for the life of me think where the neck collar thing for oh that um keeping, matrimonial fidelity i. John: Don’t know about matrimonial fidelity but wasn’t there something like that in the star trek animated series so one of the characters is was wearing something that he kept constricting around their neck yeah i don’t know i might be confusing that with a book i read i don’t know. Eugene: Yeah and sign of the times if only opec could see me now oh. John: Yes that was a nice little dig there. Eugene: But it’s still gasoline oh yeah that’s the future we don’t he can just make gasoline and put i hope nothing else uses it ness just he had to get dr what’s his name to down at the archives to find him something to do as a gas substitute but, yeah i think they solved that better in babylon 5 when lanier put the uh mimbari clean energy device in garibaldi’s motorcycle for him there’s no way he could get gas for it so just put a different power source in there. John: Oh yeah that makes sense. Eugene: I don’t know that I have anything else on this episode. John: I did notice that when they were watching the video screen initially in Hewer’s office and our doll is on it, if you look to the right of the screen, you can clearly see folded up gray duct tape covering some holes in the panel. It’s like, okay, why not? Eugene: Well, wait a minute. That’s after the explosion knocked a bunch of stuff around, though. John: No no no i. Eugene: Think it was duct tape or gaffer’s tape. John: It was shiny and gray it was definitely okay okay yeah okay or some sort of gaffer’s cape no well you know it might have been gray gaffer’s tape come to think of it but it wouldn’t well they might have hit it with gloss coat who knows didn’t have that fibrous look that duct tape has yeah but it was clearly tape. Eugene: Hmm yeah i think if ardala was on screen i probably did not notice the tape. John: Hey you know you watch the episode enough and it’s like okay i’m gonna look at other things now fair. Eugene: Enough wilma for for starters and you know she only has two off-duty dresses in this or one off-duty dress in this episode. John: Oh yeah interesting outfit i think that was probably reused in heart beeps. Eugene: For bernadette peters. John: Yes character. Eugene: There’s there’s one for you heart. John: Beeps please nobody nobody go out and look for that nobody needs to endure that, I own the DVD. I’m not very proud of that, but I do. Eugene: Yeah, I’ve seen bits of it. Let’s see. That was enough. John: Yeah, that’s about it. Eugene: Well, I think that’s probably more than enough. John: Mm-hmm. Eugene: We have successfully escaped from wedded bliss. Yes. And the next episode of Fuck Rogers is Cruise Ship to the Stars or something like that. John: That is correct. Cruise Ship to the Stars. Eugene: Oh, it really is that. Wow. That is. John: From December of 1979. Eugene: That is more cliche than I thought. I knew it was about a cruise ship, but I did not realize it was literally Cruise Ship to the Stars. John: I think this was when Love Boat was pretty popular, wasn’t it? Probably. Did that come later? I don’t know. Boy, I really don’t want to look that up. Eugene: No, I don’t think I want to look that up either, but I will. Because now you’ve made me… John: Yeah, 76 is when the first episode aired. Eugene: Well, there you go. So yes, cruise ships. Well, cruise ships, I think, were popular back then. John: Yeah. Eugene: Anyway. So everybody loved a good cruise ship. They’re exciting and exotic. John: And new. Eugene: Before everybody found it, before they found out that it was nothing but a disease fest to sell you. John: Yes. Eugene: Tell you stuff and take your money at the casino. Yeah. No, but I’m not bitter. I’m not bitter. John, thank you for joining me. John: You’re welcome. Eugene: And listeners, I hope you’ll join us all again next time on Fusion Patrol.

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, the Kenneth and Eugene review The Invaders episode “The Experiment,” which features guest star Roddy McDowall as the son of an astrophysicist targeted by alien brainwashing. The discussion highlights the story’s strong Cold War influences, noting how the plot mirrors spy thrillers like The Manchurian Candidate by effectively substituting aliens for Soviet agents. Transcript

This week Fusion Patrol looks at Buck Rogers in the 25th Century – Season 1, Episode 11, Cosmic Whiz Kid as John and Eugene discuss— Buck sidelined while Wilma saves the day Cross-promotion stunt casting with Gary Coleman Ray Walston as an unconvincing villain The timeline and age math that do not work Aldebaran 2 as a lawless world with municipal androids and no police Cosmic Whiz Kid Airdate: November 15, 1979 Runtime: 60 minutes Starring: Gil Gerard, Erin Gray, Tim O’Connor Guest Stars: Gary Coleman, Ray Walston Director: Leslie H. Martinson Writer: Alan Brennert (teleplay), Anne Collins (story) Synopsis: When child genius and President of the planet Genesia Hieronymous Fox is kidnapped by criminal Roderick Zale, his bodyguard seeks help from Earth’s Defense Directorate. Buck Rogers is pulled from a planned vacation and teams up with Lieutenant Dia Cyrton to rescue Fox from Aldebaran II before Zale can use him as leverage for political gain.

This week we look at “Bugs: Jewel Control” as Simon and Eugene discuss electricity billing, Beckett’s impressive Chinese reading capabilities, and whether Bugs is part of the same universe as Torchwood and whether it shares some of the same strengths and flaws. Jewel Control “Airdate: ” August 29, 1998 “Runtime:” 50 “Starring: ” Jaye Griffiths, Jesse Birdsall, Steven Houghton “Guest Stars: ” Naoko Mori “Director: “John Stroud “Writer: “Colin Brake “Synopsis: ” A Colombian emerald baron plans to use an ancient Continuation of Government facility to take control of the world’s jewel market. The team is alerted when Colombian gangster Diaz enters the country and has a connection to an old friend of Ros’.

This week Fusion Patrol looks at the 1973 movie Soylent Green as John and Eugene discuss if starving people even care if Soylent Green is people, Charlton Heston’s most human performance in a dystopian film, women treated as apartment “furniture” in a collapsing society, and Edward G. Robinson’s final acting role as his own death scene Soylent Green Release Date: May 9, 1973 Runtime: 97 minutes Starring: Charlton Heston, Leigh Taylor-Young, Edward G. Robinson, Chuck Connors, Joseph Cotten, Brock Peters, Paula Kelly, Stephen Young, Mike Henry, Whit Bissell Director: Richard Fleischer Writer: Stanley R. Greenberg (screenplay), Harry Harrison (novel) Synopsis: In a polluted and overpopulated New York City in the year 2022, detective Robert Thorn uncovers the corporate murder linked to a popular food product called Soylent Green. As Thorn investigates, he discovers the disturbing secret behind the food that sustains the masses, while society teeters on the brink of environmental catastrophe.