Avoidant Attachment Explained: Why We Pull Away and How to Let Love In with Bev Mitelman Part II

Avoidant Attachment Explained: Why We Pull Away and How to Let Love In with Bev Mitelman Part II

From Getting to the Heart - Life, Relationships, Divorce by Michele Heffron

October 27, 2025 · 56 min · Episode 68

About this episode

In this episode, Michele Heffron and Bev Mitelman discuss avoidant attachment patterns and the journey towards emotional connection and self-understanding.

In Part II of my conversation with Bev Mitelman, Certified Attachment Practitioner and founder of Securely Loved, we explore what happens when independence becomes a shield—and how to soften the walls that keep love just out of reach. Bev and I dive into how early emotional neglect can create avoidant patterns that echo through adulthood, how midlife brings both challenge and awakening, and why true connection begins with understanding yourself first. In this episode, we talk about: • How early emotional neglect shapes dismissive and fearful-avoidant attachment patterns • Why hyper-independence often masks unmet needs for safety and love • The midlife awakening that invites authenticity, courage, and self-discovery • The role of emotional regulation and body awareness in creating secure connection • How radical honesty transforms relationships and builds trust from the inside out If you recognize yourself in these patterns, visit securelyloved.com to take Bev’s free attachment quiz, and visit her on YouTube to find content and upcoming workshops and events.

People in this episode

Host: Michele Heffron

Guest: Bev Mitelman

Topics covered

  • avoidant attachment
  • emotional neglect
  • midlife awakening
  • self-discovery
  • emotional regulation
  • radical honesty

Keywords

  • attachment theory
  • relationships
  • independence
  • trust
  • self-awareness
  • emotional safety
  • midlife challenges

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Securely Loved

More episodes of Getting to the Heart - Life, Relationships, Divorce

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Getting to the Heart - Life, Relationships, Divorce podcast page.