Gonsanto Industries: The Insomnia Project

For entertainment purposes only. This is not to be used in place of a licensed therapist or other qualified medical aid given its satirical and comedic content. Gonsanto Industries welcomes you to the first in a series of guided meditations that will ease your mind, calm your body, and allow you to transition into a fully sleepless existence. Written, directed, and narrated by Adam Blanford. Sound effects provided by freesound.org Theme music provided by The Superluminal Project Transcript by Alexandra Douros Transcript available at https://drive.google.com/file/d/19AGiBDvMQ_JOV_-JhWtgu-2DxPtr6UTg/view?usp=sharing Content warnings: 1:30 to 1:35: mention of sedatives.3:20 to 3:39, 5:38 to 9:02: Anxious situations. 6:30 to 6:44: Threat of death.5:49 to 5:51, 6:02 to 6:05, 7:01 to 7:04, 7:44 to 7:54: loud noises. 6:14 to 6:26: mention of medical procedures.7:21 to 7:24: mention of weapons. 7:34 to 7:50: descriptions of monster. 7:50 to 8:42: death, eating.

Santa and his elves could use a little boost leading up to Christmas, and decide to enroll in The Insomnia Project. A few of them start experiencing odd side effects, and the Gonsanto team is called in to the North Pole to sort out the mess. Warning: This episode contains chewing/mouth sounds and some violence Transcript: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1dWPzfqce9RIDaVqspJ9wzWPSdza6aGkj Credits: This episode’s writing, sound design, and production by Adam Blanford. Sound effects provided by freesound.org (specifics listed at the end). Theme music provided by the Superluminal Project. Adam Blanford played Grandpa Sparkle and the loveable Gonsanta Clause. Dr. Baker was played by Lindsay Zana. Sam was Graham Rowat. Helen was Tara Santora. Dr. Montgomery was Dave Morgan. Sparkle was Kaitlyn Kliman. Twinkle was Melissa Medina. Santa was Kyle Gould. Gumdrop was Mark Harrietha. Security Elf 1 was Vincent King.Security Elf 2 was Shaina Wareing. Computer voice was S.H. Cooper. The announcer on our radio ad was Nick Bean and the tired actor was Kyle Gould. Sound Effects: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kT1UpF0mqVzVL1ga4rA4Jf-fdfOW7qRCLs50ezE56pM/edit?usp=sharing

The test subjects have their first check in to test their progress. Warning - mouth sounds and chewing from 12:05-12:40. Transcript available at https://www.throtopro.com/the-insomnia-project Cast List: Martin - Elijah Gabriel Susan - Kaitlyn Kliman Eliza - Jaqui Kerschenbaum Sam - Graham Rowat Jessica - Allison Brandt Dr. Baker - Lindsay Zana Dr. Montgomery - Dave Morgan Manager - Kirsty Woolven Officer - Adam Blanford Sound effects: Bottle Smaby by Roxis_Boy - https://freesound.org/people/Roxis_Boy/sounds/401619/ 20131202_chair falling on the ground_ZoomH4nXY.wav by Soundscape_Leuphana - https://freesound.org/people/Soundscape_Leuphana/sounds/210443/ Glass breaking by leandrocordeiro - https://freesound.org/people/Soundscape_Leuphana/sounds/210443/ Printer1 by ptrflr - https://freesound.org/people/ptrflr/sounds/394492/ phone ringing.mp3 by Rebecca_f - https://freesound.org/people/Rebecca_f/sounds/425660/ Office with Typing.wav by Walter_Odington - https://freesound.org/people/Walter_Odington/sounds/32380/ Door close.ave by soundmary - https://freesound.org/people/soundmary/sounds/117614/ Knock on the door by HunteR4708 - https://freesound.org/people/HunteR4708/sounds/256513/ Knock_the_door.wave by anagar - https://freesound.org/people/anagar/sounds/267931/ Slam door.MP3 by SoundsForHim - https://freesound.org/people/SoundsForHim/sounds/395653/ click.wav by soundsofawesome - https://freesound.org/people/soundsofawesome/sounds/349330/ Bar Crowd in Belgrade by EpicWizard - https://freesound.org/people/EpicWizard/sounds/394290/ CrowdPanic.mp3 by bethazarus - https://freesound.org/people/belthazarus/sounds/435716/ gasp.mp3 by Topschool - https://freesound.org/people/Topschool/sounds/360469/ Gasp! by ZerOcarina - https://freesound.org/people/ZerOcarina/sounds/232263/ Male Gasp 1.wave by jawbutch - https://freesound.org/people/jawbutch/sounds/344407/ Burp! by Breviceps - https://freesound.org/people/Breviceps/sounds/444496/ Placing plate on the tray by MilanKovanda - https://freesound.org/people/MilanKovanda/sounds/377050/ plate.wav by Closetwalrus - https://freesound.org/people/Closetwalrus/sounds/370298/ Cubiertos.wav by nmarciniegasm - https://freesound.org/people/nmarciniegasm/sounds/237306/ Silverware_rubbing_on_plate by tmkappelt - https://freesound.org/people/tmkappelt/sounds/85705/ Guts Dragging by altfuture - https://freesound.org/people/altfuture/sounds/174634/

Need more money for "school supplies?" Has that meanie parent of yours cut you out of using the credit card? Consider signing up to participate in the Insomnia Project! End music by The Superluminal Project Transcript available at https://www.throtopro.com/the-insomnia-project Cast List: Jessica - Allison Brandt Cashier - Haley C. McCarthy Tow truck driver - Mark Harrietha Sound effects by: 1) Car Horn 1.wav by 3863 https://freesound.org/people/3863/sounds/235363/ 2) Passing Car (wet road) by Breviceps https://freesound.org/people/Breviceps/sounds/462862/ 3) At a Bus Stop by Woodylein https://freesound.org/people/Woodylein/sounds/213564/ 4) VW Golf GTI Drive (Zoom H2N m&s).wav by EverdaySounds https://freesound.org/people/EverydaySounds/sounds/268626/ 5) Scribble by Tomoyo Ichijouji https://freesound.org/people/Tomoyo%20Ichijouji/sounds/211247/ 6) truck pickup door open close real nice slam.flac by kyles https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/450225/ 7) dial tone_us.mp3 by Felfa https://freesound.org/people/Felfa/sounds/188694/ 8) Street Noise.wav by BeatsbyCasper https://freesound.org/people/BeatsbyCasper/sounds/170246/ 9) Crowd Noise 3.wav by iamazerrad https://freesound.org/people/iamazerrad/sounds/274347/ 10) 7’11 Sliding Door by plasterbrain https://freesound.org/people/plasterbrain/sounds/399092/ 11) Shirt Clothing Movement by leonelmail https://freesound.org/people/leonelmail/sounds/429080/ 12) Clothes Movements Foley by leonelmail https://freesound.org/people/leonelmail/sounds/320876/ 13) Leather Jacket Wooshes by jtnewlin13 https://freesound.org/people/jtnewlin13/sounds/349863/ 14) Subway station, card swipe by SpliceSound https://freesound.org/people/SpliceSound/sounds/369853/ 15) Beep 05 Negative by PaulMorek https://freesound.org/people/PaulMorek/sounds/330053/ 16) purserustle.wav by nickrave https://freesound.org/people/nickrave/sounds/178068/ 17) High Heels.m4a by Daniela-Santos https://freesound.org/people/Daniela-Santos/sounds/424600/ 18) bag_open.wav by spidervis https://freesound.org/people/spidervis/sounds/406130/ 19) Market scanner beep by nooly https://freesound.org/people/nooly/sounds/331358/ 20) US Department store – checkouts by icmusic https://freesound.org/people/icmusic/sounds/268941/ 21) Construction Dumpster Delivery by rodincoil

Test subjects Eliza, Jason, Jessica, and Martin come into Gonsanto Industries for baseline testing and "the treatment". Music in this episode: Credits theme by Superluminal Project "Playful Planet" by Secession Studios" "Abgrund" by SatanasiA "Eyes Like a Nova" by Carl Phaser "Black Sail" by Chastity Belt