Hank Watson's Garage Hour - Cars, Trucks, Beers & Guns

Whether you're fixing your John Deere tractor or pulling fasteners out of your MacBook, your right to repair it seems like a no-brainer, but there are those who'd like to lock you out of your access to your own property. No freakin' way, according to the Garage Hour goons (as well as the F.T.C., independent repairmen, Steve Wozniak, and makes and breakers worldwide). While you're in there, have some fly-by stories from America's 250th birthday (and some F-14 Tomcat memories from the Hostus Maximus's childhood), tales of teaching kids to be good at things, what "new" is worth, dudes from Blue Man dodging dummies driving, a few thoughts on road rage, and a little decompression from JFS4. Also in there: some Rob (and some White) Zombie, a little Fatso Jetson, Die Krupps, and a thought about Holst's Planets and "Mars", plus an Excellent Weirdo R.I.P. for Ben Jones, the "Dukes of Hazzard's" Cooter and a proper two-fisted southern gentleman.

While Tri-State hoodlums make a mockery of Critical Mass and drivers in New Jersey are too distracted to see the cops, truck tires are attacking attentive freewaygoers and robot cars continue to plan your doom. Whatever will you do? Firstly, consult the experts: the Garage Hour goons are here for you - professional gearheads with geekpower aplenty, we've got da' Motts on your fear of flying tires, flying bears, flailing fat guys and flashmobbing urban slideshowers. There's also car chases (#because), Johnny Cab (the first wave), cops in gillie suits (not a 'squatch, not a bush, and not eucalyptus), the Bodycount Conundrum (because technology is not on your side), and tuning your wheelbarrow (#becausecaveman). It's in there: hardwood brooms, Richard the Third, our famous Dig Two Holes in England and You'll Find One Skeleton theory, Civil War cannonballs for fun and profit, and just about all of Snail's "Feral".

Gearheads doing gearhead stuff... What better a Saturday than sips and shocks; beers and brakes; glasses of ale and boxes full of used parts? Hostus Maximus Justin Fort and Brown Ryan rolled to the urban fortress that is the grade-A junkyard at Best Foreign Used Parts for an hour of good beer (some local, some very international), good shopping (when your salvage yard is so good people incorporate it in their summer travel plans), good Mexican food (now you know), and good stories about the sipping scene in the 'Springs itself. Don, Jake and Sam joined in, but Tom and the 'yard dogs were off that day. Beer here: Outlaw Lager, Breck's Funslinger (and a few I.P.A.s), Odell's Blackberry, Hillas and Mythos (from Greece), and Berthod's I.P.A.. Dude Food: Old Chicago, Lou Malnati's, Breckenridge Brewing, and enough Mexican to plug the hole in the Titanic.

Out of order awesomeness... Which luxury and/or exotic cars are preferred by crooks and food-stamp fraudsters (by brand - Ferarris and Lambos and Porsches, oh my) - and what your car behavior says about you (publicly, on gov't docs, you fool), why trusting Door Dash randos to not film you passed out through a closed door and then go full tick-tocking victim-voyeur is probably a bridge too far (invite the worst and you'll get it) and why there's an entire generation that deserves the Ray Liotta prison-island treatment, and the sad death of a (and some fun history about) the first-generation Toyota Rav4. There's also a warning from the Gearhead Consultancy: when you're having fun at less-sanctioned small-scale car-guy gatherings like a bit of crawling, an illegal street race or a monster truck event in Colombia, keeping your head on a swivel is not optional - what keeps you safe is YOU. All that, plus project pouncing (let the geek ride!), Led Zeppelin, battle-driving and coyotes in Chi-town, Bigfoot and friends (El Squatcho and attack avocados - real or just underdiscovered?), and wearing pants for the neighbors.

Yes, have some... ideas about cleaning your K&N-style cotton filter: how often do you check it (more often), how much do you soak it (more soaking), what do you look for when it's clean (more clean), how dry does it need to be (more dry), and how much oil do you need to put on it (less oil). Hostus Maximus Justin Fort, the Walkin' Dude and a spider got together at the Garage Hour's Location B.F.E. for an hour of keeping that filter cleaner, longer, and how to fix the little to-dos that crop up when you're getting it done, like oil on the mass-air, mud in the mesh, and water in the snorkus. While we're at it, there's a metric crapton of '90s industrial and goth-metal, a C-130, a mystery squeak in a Subaru Legacy's 2.5-liter flat-four, a bloodhound, about a dozen horns, some sporty chemicals and Dani's favorite skillet.