Haven!

In this episode we explore the emotional complexity of sustaining friendship from girlhood into adulthood. What happens when life pulls you and your closest childhood friends in different directions? From cross-country moves to evolving values, distance, and even unspoken grief over friendships that fade without a fight. I’m joined by my lifelong friend Rachel Clark (technically Passantino but in my heart she's always a Clark girl!!) and we talk about our 30+ year friendship, including moments of drifting apart, reconnecting, and learning to recognize the difference between a seasonal friend and a soul-deep one. We also respond to listener questions covering everything from ghosting after a baby, jealousy between life stages, dating someone your friends hate, how to grieve a quiet friendship breakup, and what to do when you're always the one reaching out. This episode is for anyone wondering: Can a friendship evolve without ending? How do you know when to hold on or when to let go? What does it take to disagree and still stay close? You’ll also get to watch us stretch and fold my sourdough mid-convo, because I recently found this hobby and it's taken over my personality. I hope this conversation is as fresh and nourishing as the delicious bread rising on my counter. ENJOY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hear a lot about toxic masculinity — in viral clips, cultural commentary, and even our personal lives. But it got me wondering: Can femininity become toxic too? If masculinity becomes harmful when it’s distorted or out of balance, could the same be true for traits we associate with femininity? In this episode, I’m joined by Abby (whose recent take on Proverbs 31 made me revisit a chapter that reminded me of my AIM screen name I had at 11 years old @proverbs31rox) and my longtime friend Mariah, a wise voice and always a good hang. Together, we explore the concept of “toxic femininity”: What does it mean? Why is it hard to name? And where have we seen it play out — in our lives, our culture, and our relationships? From complicity with the male gaze to the passive-aggressive dynamics we sometimes chalk up to “girl drama,” we talk candidly about the behaviors that might reflect femininity gone off course. Plus, we share stories (yes, even about gossip), question cultural norms, and ask: What does healthy, grounded femininity actually look like? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know when you're actually ready to have kids? And once you are… why does no one tell you how complicated, emotional, vulnerable and confusing the road to pregnancy can be? In this episode we’re kicking off a two-part series starting with "What I Wish I Knew Before I Got Pregnant" and Part 1 is all about the season before baby. (Part 2 will be What I Wish I Knew Before I was Postpartum... an entirely different beast.) From ovulation apps and acupuncture, to the heartbreak of waiting—and the advice I got from a friend after it took me a long time to conceive —we’re talking through all the layers of trying to bring life into the world. We’ll dive into the shock of the first trimester (why are the appointments so far apart?!), baby gear overload, the emotional whiplash of gender disappointment, and the honest truth that even when you’re thrilled to be pregnant… you might still grieve the “just us” era of your relationship. Plus, we’re answering your questions: — How do you deal with first trimester anxiety? — How can partners help with your hormones? — What’s overrated on the baby registry? — And how do you emotionally and physically prepare for the birth part (😅)? Whether you're trying to conceive, newly pregnant, or just curious about what this season really feels like, we’re talking about the messy middle of hope, hormones, and holding space for all the feels. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The #1 topic request I’ve received on this podcast has been marriage. So we're bringing back a favorite: my two-part series with none other than the LOML — Aaron Weits, my husband of nearly 12 years, lover for 17, and best friend for 20. I realized I have a lot of new listeners who may not have heard this gem from Season 1 so we're doing something new & special called "Memory Mondays" where I'll pull something out of the archive to repost! Together, Aaron & I officiated multiple weddings and walked couples through pre-marital counseling using a curriculum we developed over several years. In this series, we break down the core topics every couple should talk about — whether you're just starting out or deep into the journey. Part 1: Conflict, Communication & Expectations We get honest about the real stuff: What do you do when you disagree? How do you break the cycle of scorekeeping? What boundaries help you fight fair? Part 2: Money & Sex Yes, we really go there. What's your earliest money memory—and how is it affecting your relationship? Why bartering for sex doesn’t work The “no with an appointment” strategy and the importance of agreed-upon parameters Aaron shares so much wisdom in this series, and our hope is simple: We want you to have great marriages. May these conversations spark something good for you and those you love. 🎧 Revisit the series and share with someone who could use a little (free) marriage counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything quite as life-changing as having kids. It’s the kind of shift you can’t fully prepare for—yet somehow, we expect ourselves to know exactly what to do. In this episode, Aaron joins me as we talk about what we wish someone had told us before we became parents. From the shock of being sent home with a newborn (and a mom in diapers!) to the way everything shifts every three months, we’re diving into the raw, unexpected realities of parenthood. We’re talking about: 🍼 Why having kids in the 21st century feels like a luxury 🧠 The mental load of parenting and how it affects the way you show up for your kids ⚖️ The duality of loving parenthood while also missing who you were before Plus, listener submissions on what they wish they had known—because honestly, why did no one tell us this before we got pregnant?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For a long time, marriage counseling was seen as a last-ditch effort—something couples did when they were already on the brink of divorce. While that stigma has lessened, many couples still wait way too long before seeking help—statistically, an average of seven years after problems first begin. In this episode, Aaron and I get real about our own journey with marriage counseling and introduce you to someone who’s been instrumental in our growth: Dr. Jonathan Cude, our longtime marriage counselor. We sit down with Dr. Cude to talk about why he got into counseling, what struggles he sees couples facing most often, and what advice he has for those looking to build a strong foundation in their relationship. We also share the heart behind Pillow Talk, our new e-course designed to help couples navigate conflict and cultivate a thriving marriage. Neither of us had a lot of healthy, long-lasting marriages to look to for guidance, so we wanted to create something that combines our personal experience with expert insight. If counseling feels out of reach or intimidating, Pillow Talk offers another way to access practical tools and wisdom to strengthen your relationship. Join us for this honest and insightful conversation about what it really takes to build a marriage that not only lasts—but is actually fulfilling 20+ years down the road. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Season 3!!!!! This new season is all about relationships. I took a poll a few months ago asking why you're listening to this podcast and the topics that rose to the top were marriage, parenting, & friendships. So with as our first topic... let’s get into some conflict. What’s your favorite fight you’ve ever had? How do you win an argument? What happens in your body during an argument? And the real question—what’s the best part of a fight? In this episode, my husband Aaron and I dive deep into the messy, unavoidable reality of conflict in marriage. No matter how much you try to choose your words carefully, fights will happen—so the real skill is in how you handle them. Our longtime marriage counselor, Dr. Jonathan Cude, once told us that both divorcing couples and healthy couples fight the same amount. The difference? What they say in those heated moments. You can’t control your partner’s words, but you can control how you respond. So what do you do when you feel criticized? How do you break out of the criticism / defensiveness cycle before it wrecks your connection? Join us as we share what we’ve learned, how our fights have evolved, and why conflict doesn’t have to be a relationship killer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How Accurate Is A Mother’s Intuition? A mother's intuition is a deep, often instinctual sense of knowing that many mothers feel when it comes to their children. It can be hard to explain or measure, but it's widely acknowledged by many moms as a guiding force in decision-making, nurturing, and protecting their kids. Most of us parents can recall a moment when we had a strong gut feeling about our child - how can we dive deeper into that and harness it? I bring in a fellow podcaster Kanika Chadda Gupta (who inspired the title episode of this episode as she is the host of the show “That’s Total Mom Sense”) and we chat a bit more about the questions that come up as we are learning to wield this unique power. How do you balance listening to your intuition with external advice or guidance from others (doctors, friends, family)? But, also I really am trying to parse through how do you differentiate between intuition and anxiety or fear or some type of triggering from your own wounding? We each share some of our own experiences with this and then stay tuned as we finish our convo as there is some special added bonus content at the end! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices