Accountability Without Dehumanization

Accountability Without Dehumanization

From Heal NPD by Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D.

May 26, 2026 · 15 min · Episode 57

About this episode

Dr. Mark Ettensohn explores the balance between accountability and empathy in discussions of narcissism and abuse.

Dr. Mark Ettensohn addresses a question that frequently arises in discussions of narcissism and abuse: Is it possible to maintain accountability without dehumanizing? Can someone preserve firm boundaries without abandoning empathy? Dr. Ettensohn clarifies a distinction he often sees misunderstood. When he speaks about compassion toward pathological narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder, he is referring to a cultural and societal stance, not advising individuals to remain in unsafe or harmful relationships. He emphasizes that safety must always come first. If someone is being harmed, the primary question is not whether the other person “knew what they were doing,” but whether the situation is safe and what steps are necessary to ensure protection. The episode explores the gray area between total innocence and calculated malice. Dr. Ettensohn discusses how dissociation and shifting self states can impair consistent self-awareness in personality disorders, while also making clear that impaired awareness is not the same as blamelessness. He examines how behavior driven by triggered trauma states may later be rationalized from a different organizing center of experience, and…

People in this episode

Host: Mark Ettensohn

Topics covered

  • narcissism
  • accountability
  • empathy
  • boundaries
  • personality disorders
  • safety

Keywords

  • narcissistic personality disorder
  • dehumanization
  • compassion
  • trauma
  • self-awareness
  • boundaries
  • empathy

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