How to Get Over Your Ex

How could your ex be completely in love with you one minute and then suddenly act like they want nothing to do with you? If you've been replaying your breakup trying to figure out how they could change their mind so fast, you're not alone in wanting an explanation. But there's something your brain may be doing with that question that is keeping you stuck far longer than you need to be. In this episode, I'm breaking down what may actually be happening when someone seems to "switch up" out of nowhere, why the ending can feel completely different to the person leaving than the person being left, and what to do when you never get an explanation that makes you feel better. Because there is a way to move forward even when part of you is still sitting there thinking, "But HOW did they switch up out of nowhere!?" Join the Beyond Your Breakup Membership to take what you're learning on the podcast and apply it to YOUR life: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Extra Resources Referenced in the Episode: Grief bubble - https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2020/02/24/the-grief-bubble/ How to stop feeling on the edge of tears after your breakup - https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2025/09/29/how-to-stop-feeling-on-the-edge-of-tears-after-your-breakup/

There's a part of you that knows you're supposed to learn to love yourself, take care of yourself, and build a life you love after a breakup… but what if you don't WANT to do all of that? What if, underneath all the "I'm independent and I can do it myself" advice, you're actually thinking, "I don't want to take care of myself. I want someone to take care of ME." I get it. I've felt that way, and in this episode I'm sharing a personal story that completely changed the way I think about what we're actually doing when we learn to take care of ourselves after heartbreak. I teach how to do this work in a way that leads to you being taken care of by OTHERS not just yourself. The Beyond Your Breakup Membership is now OPEN: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/

If you know you don't want your old relationship back but still can't get excited about what comes next, there's a reason: your brain is much more comfortable with what it already knows than a future it has never experienced. Your ex, your old routines, and the life you built together are familiar, while dating again, becoming someone new, or creating a bigger and better life can feel vague, risky, or completely impossible to picture. In this episode, we're getting into the neuroscience behind manifestation and why your brain can actually reject the very things you say you want simply because they're unfamiliar. I'll share some of the ways I've learned to make a future feel more familiar before it arrives, including an exercise that completely changed how one woman thought about what she was trying to create. We'll also talk about why you don't have to make yourself miserable about not having what you want in order to go after it. If you're ready to stop letting your brain default to the life you already know and start creating evidence that a different life is possible, you're going to want to hear this one. Join the NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership – https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/

Why does your breakup feel SO much worse when you're exhausted, burnt out, sick, or running on barely any sleep? You might see one post from your ex, run into him in public, or have one bad interaction and suddenly you're spiraling—questioning everything, obsessing over what he's doing, and wondering why you can't seem to get over him. But what if the problem isn't that you suddenly miss him more? What if your biology is making your breakup feel harder than it actually is? In this episode, I'm breaking down what happens when you try to process heartbreak from a depleted body and why you cannot always trust the thoughts your brain is handing you when you're sick, sleep-deprived, or burnt out. I'll also share the personal protocol I use when I know my body and mind are running on empty—including what I do physically, what I refuse to do mentally, and the rules I follow until I'm back to baseline. This completely changed how I handle those moments when everything feels harder than it should and I think you're going to want to make your own version of it. The NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup

What if your ultimate comeback isn't about becoming a completely new person after heartbreak—but finally becoming the most you you've ever been? After spending seven episodes talking to women who rebuilt their lives after some of the hardest experiences imaginable, I wanted to step back and ask: what actually makes a comeback happen? In this episode, I break down what I've learned from the entire Ultimate Comeback Series and the specific steps I believe take you from the ashes of heartbreak to a life that feels completely different from the one you had before. We'll talk about the part of a comeback that happens before you change anything externally, how to know what you're no longer available for, how to reconnect with the parts of yourself you've buried under other people's expectations, and why your bigger and better life may have less to do with "becoming better" and more to do with coming home to yourself. If you're wondering what your comeback is supposed to look like—or you know you're ready for something bigger but don't know where to start—this is the episode to listen to. Join us inside the Get Over Your Ex monthly membership (starting at $297 a month): https://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourex/

Have you figured out that your ex is avoidant… only to find yourself thinking about them even more? Maybe you're researching whether avoidants come back, when they start missing an ex, whether no contact works on an avoidant, or what their attachment style says about why they left. Understanding your ex can feel productive, but if every answer leads to another question, the research may actually be keeping you stuck in the breakup instead of helping you get over it. In this episode, I'm showing you how to tell when understanding your ex has crossed over into rumination—and giving you two practical tools to stop using information about your ex to stay attached to them and start using what you know to create actual change for you. Book your free consultation call with Dorothy: www.lifecoachdorothy.com

Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, "How did I end up here?" Not because your life is bad, but because it no longer feels like you. In this episode, I share what happened after implementing the three decisions I talked about a few weeks ago—and why they've created more momentum, clarity, and alignment than I thought possible. We dive into the surprising pattern I discovered: every area of your life either begins to expand or naturally falls away once you start making decisions from alignment instead of obligation. We also talk about why letting go can feel so uncomfortable, how to loosen your attachment before you make a big change, and what to do when doubt shows up after you've already committed to a new direction. If you've been feeling stuck, disconnected from your own life, or like you've outgrown the version of yourself you've been living, this episode will give you a completely different way to think about your next chapter. Consultation call: www.lifecoachdorothy.com Ep. 353: 3 decisions that changed my life in 24 hours

If you're wondering where you're actually supposed to meet commitment-ready men—or why you keep ending up with people who aren't looking for the same future you are—this episode is for you. Today we're shifting from getting over your ex to building a life that makes finding the right partner possible. Dating expert Torah's 2 Cents joins me to challenge some of the biggest assumptions women have about dating and shares practical ways to create a roster of emotionally available, relationship-minded men without relying on luck. We talk about where to meet them, how to think differently about dating, and the subtle shifts that can completely change the quality of the people you're attracting. If you're ready to stop wondering whether your person exists and start dating with more confidence, clarity, and intention, this conversation is one you won't want to miss. Learn more about Torah: Instagram: @torahcents Website: https://www.curved2cuffed.com/

Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself? Like you're overthinking every decision, waiting until you have the perfect reason before taking action, or looking to everyone else for permission before trusting yourself? This episode is for that version of you. I share the three realizations that completely changed the direction of my life and business in less than 24 hours—and why I think they apply just as much to heartbreak as they do to any season where you feel stuck, scared, or disconnected from yourself. We talk about what happens when you stop needing to justify what you want, stop outsourcing your decisions to other people's opinions, and stop believing that healing or building a life you love has to be hard to be meaningful. If you're ready to feel more like yourself again but don't know where to start, this conversation may give you the shift you've been looking for. Free consultation call w/ Dorothy: www.lifecoachdorothy.com

If every date ends with you thinking, "They're nice… but they're not my ex," this episode is for you. One of the biggest reasons people stay emotionally stuck after a breakup is because they unknowingly use their ex as the benchmark for every new person they meet. But comparing someone new to your past doesn't tell you whether they're the right partner—it usually tells you something about where you are in your healing process. In this episode, I walk you through the three-step framework I use with my coaching clients to figure out why your brain keeps making these comparisons, how to know whether you're truly over your ex, and what to focus on instead so you can start dating with clarity rather than constantly looking backward. If you're tired of wondering whether no one will ever measure up to your ex, this episode will help you understand what's actually happening and what to do next. Reduce desire and attachment to your ex – Ep. 341: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2026/05/18/when-youve-tried-everything-to-get-over-your-ex-and-nothings-worked/ Dating to engaged process - Ep. 162: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2022/10/03/the-dating-to-engaged-process/

If your breakup has left you questioning your own judgment, wondering how you could have loved someone who ultimately left, betrayed you, or wasn't right for you, this episode is for you. One of the most painful parts of heartbreak isn't just losing the relationship, it's starting to believe the relationship failed because you failed. That belief quietly chips away at your confidence, making it harder to trust yourself in dating, relationships, and even other areas of your life. In this episode, I share three questions I use with my coaching clients to help separate your identity from the outcome of the relationship, rebuild self-trust, and stop using your breakup as evidence that something is wrong with you. If you've been stuck thinking, "How can I trust myself after this?" this conversation will give you a completely different way to look at what happened and show you the first step toward believing in yourself again. Free consultation call with Dorothy: www.lifecoachdorothy.com

If something your ex did recently sent you into a spiral, they unfollowed you, started dating someone else, viewed your story, ignored your message, or did something that left you questioning your worth, this episode will help you get back on solid ground. The hardest part of these moments usually isn't what happened. It's the meaning your brain immediately assigns to it and the behaviors that follow. In this episode, I walk you through the same three-step process I recently used with a client after one unexpected action from her ex unraveled an entire weekend. You'll learn how to uncover the thoughts fueling the spiral, challenge the stories keeping you stuck, and create a simple plan so the next trigger doesn't have the same power over you. If you're tired of one interaction with your ex undoing weeks or months of progress, this episode will show you how to recover faster, respond differently, and keep moving toward the life you actually want. Free consultation call for private coaching: lifecoachdorothy.com The Get Over Your Ex Program w/ Coaching: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourex/ The Get Over Your Ex Self Paced Course: http://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourexcourse

After a breakup, it's easy to think you're grieving the relationship when what you're actually grieving is the version of yourself you thought you were. The confident version. The chosen version. The version who never questioned her worth. If you've caught yourself wondering whether your ex leaving means you're not as lovable, valuable, successful, attractive, or capable as you once believed, this episode is for you. In this conversation, we unpack why heartbreak often turns into a crisis of identity and how your brain quietly uses the breakup as evidence against you. I share the exact exercises that helped me rebuild trust in myself after losing my engagement and pregnancy, along with the same work I use with clients who feel like they've lost their confidence, momentum, or sense of self after heartbreak. If you're tired of measuring your worth through the lens of what happened with your ex and ready to reconnect with who you are beyond the breakup, this episode will give you a completely different way to look at your healing journey. Free consultation call to work together: www.lifecoachdorothy.com Free on-demand video training on How to Fast Forward Getting Over Your ex: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/overyourexpodcast/