Krynoid PodCast

Jim and Martin are returning to podcasting... with a surprising plot twist. Listen here or on Spotify.

So it's time to go home for Andy Pandy fangirl, Sarah Jane Smith. And there's a hand pulling the strings in this show too, giving tupperware a bad name and Professor Watson a bad day at the power plant. Handily, crystalline cosmic crook Eldrad can reform herself from her moribund mitt and then she herself suffers from a wandering hand from her leading man. For a change, we leave a quarry to land on an alien planet where 'she' becomes a 'he', the decibel level rockets and he – and the serial – fall off a cliff. But is it OK to fancy Eldrad? How many (if any) puerile 'ring' jokes should be allowed in one podcast episode? And do Jim and Martin think The Hand of Fear deserves a thumbs up? Or do they give it the finger? Listen and you might get an answer to some or none of the above. The lads also review the brand new audiobooks of Dalek and The Crimson Horror! Also available on Spotify.

You may think life can't get much worse at the moment but locked-down Brexity Britain looks positively idyllic compared to Blighty under the rubber skirt of Dalek rule. This septic isle is overrun with motorised dustbins, headphone-wearing dullards who've really let themselves go and the most unrealistic pet since K9. The Doctor falls on his coccyx, Susan falls in love, Ian falls out of a door and Babs falls in with a rough crowd and TWOKs a dustcart. Luckily, a fratricidal fellow rebel lends two hands and Mr Rumbold lends his ears but the perma-grumpy Mrs Briers fails to stop Babs succumbing to crones. Would you buy a used mattress from a Dalek? Is the entry exam for the Roboman Academy too difficult? How many floating corpses would it take to put you off a glass of water? And did Jim and Martin find The Dalek Invasion of Earth to be a glorious triumph or a misbegotten folly? Listen to find out! The lads also review the audiobooks of Fury From The Deep and The Awakening. Also available on Spotify.

When is a talkative chair not a talkative chair? When it's an alien shower curtain. Or a stumpy git in a pith helmet. But, underwhelming as they are, the Vardans still plan an Invasion of Time by conquering pound-shop Gallifrey – a land of medicinal jelly beans, powerful ping pong balls and walnut-chomping dropouts. Its denizens include Chancellor Borusa who's more put-upon than Tom Baker's beer mat and Castellan Kelner who's slimier than a newly-painted Myrka. And, of course, a prototype Romana who's qualified to wield a screwdriver but can't hack it in the university of life, even with a bumper pack of Giant Smarties at her side. The Doctor shouts, K9 snarks and Leela shacks up with an innocent bystander, while the surprise Sontarans stomp about, searching in vain for a jellied eels stall. But did Jim and Martin find the story an all-conquering triumph or was it just an unwelcome invasion of their time? Listen to find out. The lads also review the audiobooks of The Doomsday Weapon and The Edge of Destruction. Also available on Spotify.

A museum? On a planet, you say? Amazingly, that's just where TARDIS brings Doctor Who and chums in The Space Museum. But the problems here are worse than an expensive gift shop, a blocked urinal or a coach party of feral school kids. For the planet Xeros is occupied by the moaning Morocks, a race only slightly less pathetic than the indigenous teenage beatniks, among whom subjugation raises barely/only an eyebrow. And our plucky travellers have problems of their own, chiefly their future starring roles in the most boring tourist attraction since the financially disastrous Sensorites' Sexy Sashes exhibition. Our heroes deal with the trauma in their own individual ways though, with the Doctor kipping for an episode, Vicki stirring up the students, Babs having a smoke break and Ian chewing her cardigan. Will the time travellers evade their fate? Would you buy a used glass from Vicki? What day is Nude Day on the TARDIS? And did Jim and Martin find themselves informed and entertained by The Space Museum or is it just a dusty old relic? Listen to find out! The lads also review the audiobooks of The Curse of Peladon and Image of the Fendahl. You can also find this and many other Krynoid PodCast episodes on Spotify.

As travel restrictions relax, maybe it's time to give Cully's Adventures Unlimited a whirl? His ship's a bit of a squeeze but the elderly Lothario can secretly sail you to the enticing Island of Death with its distinctive countryside, prestigious museum and friendly fellow tourists, The Dominators. Their Quarks are as cheesy as they sound – and they sound ridiculous. Nevertheless they're more than capable of duffing up the docile Dulkians, who are wetter than a Sea Devil's shower cap. TV's Brian Cant offers some resistance for a while but then departs for a smoke so it's up to Jamie, Zoe, the Doctor and some other bloke dressed as the Doctor to save the day. But what the heck is a rob't? Will Rago and Toba ever seek marriage guidance? What did Cully witness when Jamie climbed that ladder? And did The Dominators recharge Jim and Martin's batteries or leave them as demoralised as a person pretending to be a dummy of a person? Listen to find out! Also available on Spotify.

Feeling trapped in your home with limited entertainment and an uncertain world outside? Well maybe you can sympathise with the residents of Paradise Towers – a horrible high-rise housing low-rent war machines, an apparently tin Hitler, omnivorous OAPs and TV's most amateur and least dramatic junior AmDram group. The Doctor wants answers, Mel wants a dip and Kroagnon wants a mass eviction order. Familiarly, it's reds versus blues with the yellows invisible (robot crabs included). So did Paradise Towers build Jim and Martin's happiness high or did they feel unalive by the end of it all? Listen to find out! Also available on Spotify

With all of us seeing rather too much of our immediate locales at the moment, what better time to come with us on a voyage through old Cathay? That said, our TARDIS team may have preferred to self-isolate from their travelling companions – a thieving Venetian and a Machiavellian Mongol. On this trip of a lifetime, our magic caravanners must face frostbite, poisoning, thirst, a surfeit of sand and some interpretive dance. The Doctor gets hysterical, Susan gets a friend, Ian gets a go at cherchez la femme and it all gets a bit dicey for Babs. Will the Doctor ever get back the keys to his caravan? Does the TARDIS carry a dehumidifier? Will the great Kublai Khan resort to Cathayan viagra to escape his wife? And did the trip broaden the minds of Jim and Martin or leave them saddle sore? Listen to find out!