Light in the Battle

I want to do something a little different in this episode.If you’ve been listening to Season 2 from the beginning, you probably already feel that there’s a progression. We didn’t just randomly move from trauma bonds to EMDR to forgiveness to codependency.There’s a reason the season unfolds the way it does.And if you’re newer here — if you found this podcast somewhere in the middle — you might not realize that Season 2 was intentionally built as a roadmap, for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse.Because healing after narcissistic abuse, trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and identity loss is not random. It has phases, like pit stops.And depending on when you found this podcast, you might be asking yourself:Where am I in this process?Am I at the trauma bond stage, or past it?Am I behind?Should I start at the beginning?Why does this episode resonate but that one makes me so mad? This episode is here to help you orient yourself, and understand how this season is structured.We started with the trauma bond because you can’t rebuild your life if your nervous system is still organized around the person who hurt you.This is the stage where you might still feel pulled toward them. Where you know logically it was harmful, but emotionally you still feel attached. Where you’re confused about why you miss someone who damaged you.Those episodes break down what the trauma bond actually is, how it forms, and how it begins to loosen.If that’s where you are — start there with Episode 15A.Once the trauma bond starts to weaken, something else often shows up more clearly: the nervous system.This is where you might feel dysregulated, anxious, exhausted, reactive, numb, or flooded with emotions.We talk about PTSD. We talk about EMDR. We talk about how trauma is encoded and how it can be reprocessed.This phase is about stabilization.Forgiveness comes next. And it does not mean excusing what happened, giving second chances, nor reconciling.Forgiveness, in this context, is about releasing the chronic emotional charge that keeps you tied to the injury.It only becomes accessible after some stabilization.If you tried to forgive too early and it felt fake or forced — that’s why.This episode sits exactly where it belongs in the roadmap.Once you’re no longer just surviving, you start asking harder questions.Why did I tolerate this?What patterns in me made this possible?Why do I over-accommodate?This is where we move into codependency — what it is, why it forms, and why autistic women in particular are often especially vulnerable to it.Because we’re often deeply attuned, conscientious, and conditioned to overgive and keep relationships smooth. This stage is about reclaiming autonomy.It’s about understanding your wiring so you can rewire it.After stabilization and restructuring comes expansion.Gratitude — understanding that this nonsense happened FOR you. Fellowship and mentorship — including safe, grounded coregulation through the STAR Network.Surrender and grief — the deeper integration work where you release the version of you that survived domestic abuse, as well as all the negativity in your current reality.These phases each become accessible when your nervous system is ready.If you’re still emotionally pulled toward the dysfunctional person, you’re probably in trauma bond work.If you’re physically out but your body still feels unstable, PTSD and stabilization work might be most relevant.If you’re questioning your own relational patterns, you need to understand codepedendency.If you’re beginning to feel stable and asking how to build forward — you’re moving into integration.You fall somewhere on a sequence.And this season was built so that wherever you are, there’s a place to land on a nervous system recovery journey.Please do not force yourself into a phase you’re not ready for.You just have to meet yourself honestly where you are.There is Light in this Battle — at every point.

Let's continue our deep dive into codependency — why autistic women are particularly vulnerable to codependency, before we think about ways out of codependency. This entire Season is a journey towards emotional detachment, because detaching is essential not only for healing, but for protecting our children and showing up as the stable, credible parent in family court.One of the hardest truths I had to learn is that legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high. As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, reports, or in court — they continue to generate material that can be used against them, even when their concerns are valid. Emotional detachment does not mean we stop caring, what it does is it removes the reactivity that you shoot yourself in the foot with, time and time again. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!!!Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we get clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.So in Season 2, I’m taking you step by step through the journey I personally had to walk to detach completely — without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally be able to show patterns of behavior, in a way family court cannot ignore.So far this season, we’ve covered:Trauma bonding (⁠Episode 15⁠ & ⁠Episode 16⁠)PTSD / CPTSD and EMDR (⁠Episodes 17⁠ & ⁠Episode 18)⁠Forgiveness — and why it does not mean reconciliation (⁠Episode 19⁠)Introducing Codependency - Behaviors and Traits, Episode 20Now it’s time to talk about codependency IN ASD WOMEN.Recap of the 5 traits & behaviors found in codependentsRecap of the 5 more common traits found in austistic people and how much that looks like codependent traitsHow codependency can develop in autistic women, especially those raised in unstable environmentsReminders about the concept of self-verification — and how the autistic brain’s need for predictability can keep codependent dynamics in placeHow codependency and narcissistic dynamics reinforce each other without blaming survivors of domestic violenceWhy emotional detachment is key to parallel parenting and raising a non-codependent childThis episode draws in part from:Codependent No More, written by Melody BeattieAn ⁠Interview Of Melody Beattie⁠Research on self-verification (SimplyPsychology.org and publicly available resources on Google)This is Part 2 of the codependency arc. Part 1 has explained the common behaviors & traits of codependent people, and part 3 in Episode 22 will suggest ways to walk the journey of codependency recovery. In upcoming episodes, we’ll move into gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender, and grief — all essential stages on the path to emotional detachment and freedom.👉 Please follow the show and leave a 5-star review if this season resonates. It helps this content reach other women who need it.Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.Stay with me through this season. It will get uncomfortable for sure. That's the whole point, I'm trying to help you get out of your own way so you can better hear what your lawyer is saying. I’m taking you on a journey, from the day you get out of the dysfunctional dynamic, all the way to emotional freedom. Follow the show so you can get all the episodes of Season 2.

Forgiveness is a tactical advantage. Once you're out of an abusive relationship, whether that's with a family member, a toxic work environment, etc, once you've handled your addiction to chaos so you don't go back, and you've found the right therapy for you in case you carry PTSD, next step is to think about Forgiveness. The 6 Items we think about when it comes to forgiveness, in this episode, are:What forgiveness is and what it is notForgive and Forget, really??? Forgiveness as a way of letting the hurt bear fruitForgiveness as a weapon of spiritual warfareForgiveness as a logical thing to do for autistic womenSecret and Juicy last item you will LOVE :) When we let go of the need for revenge, when we decide to let go of the emotional load, that's when we find Emotional Detachment, freedom and real impact. To go farther:The Christian Meaning of Suffering, on the Vatican's website.Another take on Forgiveness and Revenge by Stuff you Should KnowSeason 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage forFamily Court (starting with the addiction to chaos mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you may receive about family court, actually lands.DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos: Episode 15A, Episode 15B, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. Here we talk about Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Your suffering must bear fruit, learning to forgive is one. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,Gratitude, Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network,Surrender & GriefFollow the show so you can hear the entire season about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family CourtThis content is for general information and inspiration only. It is based on lived experience, on conversations had with others, and on deep research performed on publicly available information. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs. If you or someone you’re caring for is at risk of harm, please contact local emergency services or a trusted crisis service in your area.Keywords: autistic women, forgiving your abuser, forgiveness after abuse, how to forgive, how do I forgive, autistic brain, spiritual warfare, what is forgiveness, narcissistic abuse, forgiving the narcissist, freedom, forgiving as an autistic woman, emotional detachment, preparing for court, leaving an abusive relationship, ASD brain, letting go, how to let go, why should I forgive, reasons to forgive, resentment, christian meaning of suffering, domestic abuse

PTSD and CPTSD are common in survivors of narcissistic abuse and in their recovery. We find ourselves going into fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is not helpful in parenting, let alone solo parenting with an ASD brain. It's also not helpful during the months leading up to a court hearing, and during the hearing itself. The nervous system has adapted to keep us safe, but once the chronic threat is gone, nervous system recovery means learning to let go of these maladaptive responses.So we look for trauma therapies for PTSD and CPTSD. Regular, "talk" therapy can be retraumatizing, whereas EMDR is a short, powerful, trauma-specific approach. EMDR is one of several options available to you to treat PTSD and CPTSD, so please do your own research and work with your therapist to see what's best for your specific situation. All I know is that EMDR is the one that treated my CPTSD.In this Episode I explain what EMDR is, how it works, the difference between a traumatic memory and a bad memory, the timeline to clean out various traumatic memories, and I share a few heads up from my personal experience with EMDR.Please consider listening to this as well, Chronic Trauma and EMDR, to go deeper into EMDR and Trauma. In Episode 18 we will talk about 10 things that have dramatically changed in my life after I did EMDR, how it's helped me win in family court and better advocate for my child. Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with the "addiction to chaos" mini-series, Episode 15A to Episode 16B) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you obtain from your lawyer, or any advice coming from lived experience, about court prep, actually lands. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to not go back. I cover the Trauma Bond, a true addiction to chaos, in ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode 16A⁠⁠, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency, gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender and grief.Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.Keywords: Domestic violence, trauma recovery, PTSD, chronic trauma, CPTSD, childhood trauma, trauma triggers, nervous system recovery, healing the nervous system after trauma, emotional detachment, EMDR,

We now need to bring the cortisol, adrenaline, dopaminelevels back to normal. In this final episode about breaking the addiction to chaos, Faustina goes over 6 steps that worked for her, when she DECIDED to LEARN to enjoy peace. With compassion and understanding, with humour and Catholic faith, with small action steps that are easy to implement, shedescribes what has worked for her to bring the levels of the neurochemicals back to healthy levels. Chaos and danger are a true neurochemical addiction, andit's one Faustina was able to white knuckle by the grace of God and by inventing 6 steps for herself, based on her very basic understanding of things she found online. She goes over these steps as possible shortcuts in your recovery from narcissistic abuse, legal abuse, or any form of childhood trauma that may have wired your brain to crave chaos.Autistic women are particularly prone to this addiction,because they have a craving for predictability, patterns, the type you see in the cycle of abuse... Women with ASD are often more vulnerable to harmful relational patterns and can get pulled into cycles of instability very easily. These 6 steps to break the addiction to chaos incorporate aCatholic interpretation of why that peace feels foreign, despite God’s promise, “My peace I give you”. We stress the importance of the Rosary, the Eucharist, and Confession, as rhythm and structure. You can pray novenas for peace,novenas for protection, sure, but you should also learn about the science of addiction!Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos"mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journeytowards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos:⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your emotional detachment journey, will be codependency and gratitude. Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how toheal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional.Choose to find Light in the Battle. Your circumstances (yourASD diagnosis as an adult woman, your PDA child's nervous system, your high-conflict coparenting reality, and single motherhood) will not change any time soon, but the trauma neurochemistry and the harmful levels of the neurochemicals can. To go deeper into the neurochemistry behind stress, overwhelm, and emotional intensity, Huberman’s episode “⁠⁠Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety⁠⁠” expands on the dopamine, cortisol, and survival-mode loops.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" "Why do I keep attracting narcissists?" You choose to stop. With 6 ASD-friendly practical tips that Faustina used repeatedly in her journey of taming peace after years of running on adrenaline and cortisol, we can slowly familiarize ourselves with our new life. Whether that's getting out of domestic violence, healing from narcissistic abuse, or winning a custody battle in family court, there's going to be a point where things will stop being a constant threat, a constant chaos loop. And your brain won't like it. So here are 6 trauma informed, practical ways that you teach your brain to enjoy the quiet after the storm, so you can settle into it, and change the course of your life - one day at a time!Addiction to chaos is a real thing. In this episode we get practical with 6 mindset shifts and day-to-day habits that may help us not dive head first into another problem, another abusive relationship, another overwhelming situation. In the next episode we nerd out on the hormones in the brain that drive that addiction, and how we can help normalize those hormone levels. I want to point you to one of my biggest pillars in my trauma recovery, Dr. Ramani, who teaches from a more authoritative perspective, things you need to know about narcissism, NPD, and about recovery. The content in this podcast is for general information and education only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

After gaslighting, rebuilding your intuition and body signals is the foundation for helping your child feel emotionally safe. In this episode, we talk about what gaslighting is, how to heal from gaslighting, staying honest with your overwhelm, and modeling emotional safety for sensitive or neurodivergent kids. Faustina shares relatable, personal stories and real-life examples of learning to feel the emotions again, and humbly using those to model emotional intelligence to a sensitive child. If this helped you feel less alone, please leave a 5 star review — it genuinely helps other overwhelmed moms find this space. Healing from gaslighting is like finding strength in the storm that follows, with the post-separation dysfunctional dynamics that come after you leave. emotional safety for kidstrauma-informed parentingparenting after abuseoverwhelmed momsneurodivergent parentingPDA autism parentingsensitive childrenco-regulation strategieshealing from gaslightingnervous system regulationparenting when triggeredrebuilding intuitionoverwhelmed mom supportCatholic mom podcastmother wound healingemotional literacy for kidsparenting through dysregulationgentle parenting for trauma survivorsraising autistic or PDA childrenhow to stay calm with your childhealing your inner voiceteaching kids emotional regulation