About this episode

Carl and Laura discuss the importance of intentional encouragement in marriage and provide a simple two-step plan for couples to implement.

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com Last week Carl and Laura kicked off the Summer Shots series with the challenge to cut criticism for a full week. This week, they build on it with the second shot: intentional, specific, planned encouragement. Because taking something out only works if you put something better back in. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about why encouragement almost always gets lost the longer you're married, why "useful" isn't the same as "valued," and why so many people confuse being needed with being loved. They walk through a simple two-step plan any couple can try this week: a morning shot of intentional encouragement, and a 5pm identity text that reminds your spouse who they are, not just what they did. You'll hear Laura get honest about the difference between appreciation and admiration, and why every spouse wants to be admired long after the newness fades. Carl speaks to the men still leading with "if she really loved me, she wouldn't need reminders," and why planning connection is not weakness. It's what people who value their marriage actually do. Nobody schedules criticism. But planned encouragement…

People in this episode

Hosts: Carl Lentz, Laura

Topics covered

• encouragement
• marriage
• communication
• relationships
• appreciation
• admiration

Keywords

• encouragement
• marriage
• communication
• appreciation
• admiration
• relationships
• intentionality

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• Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead) · July 27, 2026 · 48 min

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