About this episode

Carl and Laura discuss listener questions about betrayal in marriage, grief, and making amends.

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com Carl and Laura are back with a new season, a new studio, a new book, and one of the most tender openings this show has ever had. Before Carl and Laura get into the listener questions, Carl opens up about the sudden loss of his sister Rachel, what he's learned about carrying grief and honor at the same time, and the reminder her life left him with: don't wait to say the things you actually feel. From there, they dive into three listener questions that go straight to the heart of what real repair looks like after betrayal. The first: what is the actual difference between shame and remorse, and how do you know which one is driving your spouse? The second: what does it look like to make real amends 21 years, three affairs, and a mountain of damage later, and are there times when the healthiest amends is the one you don't send? The third: how do you hold onto hope in a marriage that feels stuck, when the person who broke it seems to be sitting on the fence about whether to stay? You'll hear Carl get direct with the men who are still leading their apologies with self-pity, self-flagellation, or the quiet expectation that…

People in this episode

Hosts: Carl Lentz, Laura

Topics covered

• betrayal
• marriage
• grief
• listener questions
• amends
• hope

Keywords

• betrayed spouse
• shame vs remorse
• real amends
• marriage hope
• grief

More episodes of Lights On with Carl Lentz

• Four Myths about Betrayal We Need to Stop Believing · September 7, 2026 · 40 min
• Forgiveness, Triggers, Relapse, and Alcohol: Your Questions Answered · August 31, 2026 · 46 min
• The marriage questions people are afraid to ask out loud · August 17, 2026 · 56 min
• How to actually change the climate of your home · August 10, 2026 · 40 min
• How to encourage your spouse in a way they actually feel · August 3, 2026 · 32 min
• Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead) · July 27, 2026 · 48 min

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