Make More Love

In this episode of Make More Love, Ellen takes on one of the most misunderstood issues in long-term relationships: trust.Most people think about trust in terms of the obvious violations — betrayal, secrets, lies, and affairs. But trust can also erode through the repeated daily letdowns that make a partner feel unsafe, uninformed, dismissed, unsupported, or unable to rely on the relationship.Ellen breaks trust down into seven practical domains: Safety, Security, Caring, Integrity, Fidelity, Reliability, and Repair. Because if you want to rebuild trust, you first have to know where it is breaking down.Part 1: The Trust Deficit In the Big PictureEllen opens by looking at the larger “trust deficit” we see in society and connects it to what happens inside many business-owner marriages. A trust deficit is not always caused by one major betrayal. It can also build slowly when one partner’s need to feel safe, connected, informed, and secure is not consistently being met.She also explains why many business owners feel confused when their partner does not experience them as trustworthy, especially when they have avoided what Ellen calls the Fatal Four: betrayal, secrets, lies, and affairs.Part 2: The Seven Domains of TrustTrust is not one vague feeling, and it is not an all-or-nothing question. Ellen breaks it into seven domains that help couples identify exactly where trust is strong, where it is strained, and what needs attention.The seven domains are:Safety — Can I trust that I will not be physically harmed, threatened, or deprived of basic needs?Security — Can I trust that I am informed about money, financial risk, and the decisions that affect our shared life?Caring — Can I trust that my feelings, concerns, and reality will be treated with basic respect?Integrity — Can I trust you to be honest when it is not easy to be honest?Fidelity — Can I trust you to honor the sexual, romantic, and emotional agreements of the relationship?Reliability — Can I trust that you will do what you say you will do?Repair — Can I trust that when something breaks, we will come back together, take accountability, and work the problem?Part 3: Why Fidelity Alone Does Not Create TrustEllen shares a real-life example of a client who chose her husband partly because she knew he would never cheat. But over time, she realized that sexual fidelity did not mean the relationship was broadly trustworthy.There were trust deficits in safety, security, integrity, reliability, and repair. The marriage looked intact from the outside, but the actual connection was weak because trust was weak in so many places.The point is clear: you can be sexually faithful and still have a serious trust problem if you are failing at honesty, reliability, repair, financial transparency, or emotional care.Key Takeaways:Trust is not binary. It is not as simple as “you trust me or you don’t.”Being faithful matters, but fidelity is only one domain of trust. The seven domains of trust give couples a more practical way to identify what is actually breaking down.Repeated small letdowns can create real damage when they stack up without repair.Apologies do not rebuild trust if they are not accompanied by changed behavior.Business owners need to understand that business decisions can affect their spouse’s sense of safety, security, and trust.Call to Action:Now here’s something for you to think about:Which domain of trust is strongest in your relationship right now, and how do you know?Which one is weakest, and why do you think it is weak?Which one, if repaired, would change the whole tone of your relationship?And what is one step you could take to start repairing that one?If you are struggling with this, set up a free Relationship Reset Call with Ellen, and work through the issue together. The call is quick, private, and designed to give you a single tangible next step you can take to sort out a relationship problem.Go to relationshipresetcall.com to set up a time.Closing Thoughts:Trust is not a yes or no question.It is about whether the relationship consistently helps both partners feel safe, connected, informed, secure, respected, and able to rely on each other.When you can name where trust is breaking down, you have a much better chance of repairing the right thing.Next Time on Make More Love:Ellen will take this topic one step further and introduce the seven Trust Archetypes. These archetypes will help you identify your natural trust tendencies, where you already show up as trustworthy, and where you may need to build additional skills to create a more balanced trust profile.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community on Facebook or directly with her via email. Or, for one-on-one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.Or, for immediate insights, take the Relationship Dynamics Scorecard: a fast, free quiz to pinpoint relationship strengths and stressors, and identify priorities that need your attention.Find it at: MakeMoreLove.show/quizShare the Love:If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit.All links can be found below.Mentioned in this episode:The National Domestic Violence HotlineFree, confidential support available 24/7.Call: 1-800-799-SAFE / 1-800-799-7233Text: START to 88788Chat: thehotline.orgMake More Love Season 1, Interview with Justin William Wisemanhttps://www.makemorelove.show/14-transformative-relationships-from-addiction-to-triumph-with-justin-wiseman/https://www.makemorelove.show/15-finding-your-inner-voice-in-relationships-and-beyond/Leave a Review for Make More Love:https://www.makemorelove.show/reviews/new/About the Host:Ellen Dorian is a relationship and business coach dedicated to helping high-performing business leaders truly create the business, relationship, and life that most entrepreneurs only dream of.Disclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations."Love isn't something you find. You have to make it. And that's my mission — to help you Make More Love, with Your Wife and In Your Life." - Ellen Dorian

Ellen Dorian discusses strategies for managing conflict in relationships, introducing the concept of "passionate problem solving" as an alternative to cold war and hot war conflict styles. She outlines two pathways: early intervention and radical repair, drawing inspiration from kink and BDSM protocols and Japanese apology frameworks.Part 1: Understanding Conflict and Early Intervention- Esther Perel's three categories of conflict: power and control, respect and recognition, care and closeness- Recognizing personal "tells" that signal emotional escalation- Implementing kink-inspired protocols: safe words, negotiated agreements, and aftercarePart 2: Radical Repair for Full-Blown Conflicts- Step-by-step process for addressing conflicts after they've escalated- Naming the hurt, reflecting back, owning responsibility, and offering a radical apology- Reaffirming connection and attacking the problem, not each otherPart 3: Applying Passionate Problem Solving- Factors influencing success: meaning gap, relationship foundation, and personal skills- Importance of practice and commitment to transform conflict handling- Encouragement to seek outside help when neededKey Takeaways:- Early intervention focuses on self-control, not partner control- Repair matters more than being right in conflicts- Always attack the problem, not each other- Passionate problem solving requires practice and disciplineCall to Action:Ellen encourages listeners to book a free Relationship Reset call, join the Passionate Partners Insider community on Facebook, and spread the word about the Make More Love podcast.Closing Thoughts:Passionate problem solving is not a quick fix but can transform how couples handle conflict when practiced consistently.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love With Your Wife and In Your Life.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations. Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com

Ellen Dorian explores the concept of "never fighting" in relationships, discussing various reasons why couples might claim they don't fight and the potential implications for their relationship health.Part 1: Reasons for "Never Fighting"- Disengagement and avoidance- Temperament and perceptions- Philosophy and healthy skillsPart 2: Analyzing "Never Fighting" in Relationships- Looking beneath the surface- Attacking the problem, not each other- Practicing conflict resolution on small issuesPart 3: The Importance of Healthy Conflict- Distinguishing between harmful avoidance and genuine compatibility- Building intimacy through constructive disagreement- Developing skills for incremental problem-solvingKey Takeaways:- "Never fighting" can indicate various relationship dynamics, both positive and negative- Healthy relationships often involve constructive conflict resolution- Incremental problem-solving can prevent major conflictsCall to Action:Take the Make More Love Relationship Dynamics Quiz for personalized insights into your relationship dynamics.Closing Thoughts:The absence of fighting doesn't necessarily indicate a healthy relationship. It's crucial to understand the underlying reasons and develop healthy conflict resolution skills.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love in Your Life and with Your Wife.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations. Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com

Ellen Dorian addresses a listener's question about whether to end a long-term relationship, offering insights on recognizing emotional attachment, repairing relationships, and considering the hidden costs of divorce.Part 1: Analyzing Emotional Disengagement- Emotional clues indicating persistent attachment to a relationship- The significance of anger, bargaining, and seeking validation- Statistical insights on marital conflicts and desires for changePart 2: Strategies for Relationship Repair- Three-step approach to relationship improvement- Importance of committing to repair regardless of outcome- Shifting mindset and mapping out a strategy- Introduction to the Relationship Hierarchy of NeedsPart 3: Considering Divorce and Its Hidden Costs- Financial, social, and emotional impacts of divorce- Real-life example of post-divorce challenges and successes- Importance of inner work before making major relationship decisionsKey Takeaways:- Recognize emotional clues to determine readiness to end a relationship- Implement a three-step strategy to improve relationship dynamics- Understand and prepare for the hidden costs of divorce- Focus on solving the right relationship problems using the Hierarchy of NeedsCall to Action:Take the free Relationship Dynamics quiz at MakeMoreLove.Show/Quiz to identify the highest priority areas to improve in your relationship.Or,Schedule a Relationship Reset Call for a one on one walk through of your options at www.relationshipresetcall.comClosing Thoughts:Understanding when you are ready to end a relationship is never going to be easy. It's important to check in with yourself and follow the emotional clues that will show whether you are ready to move on. Whether you choose to stay or leave, focus on personal growth and healing. Your path forward should align with your values and long-term happiness.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love in Your Life and with Your Wife.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations. Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com Here's the episode on the Relationship Hierarchy of Needs:https://www.makemorelove.show/episode-4-simplifying-the-complexities-of-relationship-dynamics/

Ellen Dorian discusses the importance of enjoying time with your partner and offers strategies to bring fun and playfulness back into relationships, especially for busy professionals.Part 1: Rediscovering Joy in Relationships- Ellen emphasizes the significance of simply enjoying being together- Introduces the concept of "affinity" from her relationship hierarchy of needs- Encourages listeners to reflect on their favorite activities with their partner- Addresses the challenge of relationships on autopilot due to busy lifestylesPart 2: Strategies for Rekindling Fun- Suggests recreating childhood summer memories as a date idea- Shares personal examples of fun childhood activities- Recommends asking partners about their favorite childhood memories- Introduces the concept of "bids for connection" and their importancePart 3: Overcoming Relationship Challenges- Addresses concerns for relationships in serious trouble- Introduces the Relationship Dynamics Scorecard quiz- Explains how to use childhood favorites as "bids for connection"- Emphasizes the power of small, consistent gestures in building strong relationshipsKey Takeaways:- Prioritize pleasure and enjoyment in your relationship- Use childhood memories to create fun, playful experiences with your partner- Small, consistent gestures are more effective than grand, infrequent gestures- Taking initiative to improve your relationship can lead to positive changesCall to Action:Take the Relationship Dynamics Scorecard quiz at makemoreloveShowQuiz.com and schedule a free one-on-one call with Ellen to review your results and create an action plan.Closing Thoughts:Relationships require active effort to maintain and improve. Incorporating playfulness and fun can reignite the enjoyment that brought you together initially.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love in Your Life and with Your Wife.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for the guidance of a qualified mental health or medical professional.Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com

Ellen Dorian discusses the importance of intrinsic passion in relationships, focusing on sex and intimacy. She explores why passion fades, differences between men and women, and provides strategies to reignite passion.Part 1: Understanding Passion in Relationships- Sex as the "glue" of healthy relationships- Differentiating between sex, passion, and intimacy- Reasons for loss of interest in sex for men and women- Rejecting the idea that passion naturally fades over timePart 2: Rekindling Passion- Three core habits supporting intrinsic passion: Vitality, Intimate Intensity, and Prioritizing Pleasure- Five strategies to recharge passion:1. Take responsibility for your own passion2. Avoid keeping score3. Replace magical thinking with proven methods4. Let go of insecurities5. Stop tolerating and take actionPart 3: Practical Application- Immersing in passion-centered thinking- Creating micro-moments of flirtation- Planning connection-focused date nights- Emphasizing intentionality in small, consistent actionsKey Takeaways:- Passion is built into relationships from the start and can be rekindled- Understanding gender differences in passion can prevent misunderstandings- Small, intentional actions can significantly impact relationship passionCall to Action:Listeners are encouraged to try one strategy from the episode to reignite passion in their relationship and share their experiences.Closing Thoughts:Passion comes back by design, not by accident. Applying business growth strategies to relationships can lead to impressive changes.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love--With Your Wife and In Your Life.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations. Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com

Host Ellen Dorian discusses the three core principles successful couples practice to maintain strong, lifelong relationships. She introduces the first principle, "Inclusive Purpose," and explains its importance in creating alignment and avoiding common relationship pitfalls.Part 1: The Three Core Principles of Successful Relationships- Inclusive Purpose- Intentional Presence- Intrinsic PassionPart 2: Exploring Inclusive Purpose- Definition: A harmonious sense of direction that honors both partners' values, dreams, and needs- Three supporting habits: Harmony, Unity, and ClarityPart 3: Implementing Inclusive Purpose- Identifying shared and conflicting values- Co-creating a future that accommodates individual dreams- Making explicit agreements and avoiding assumptionsKey Takeaways:- Successful relationships require alignment on values, agreements, and direction- Inclusive Purpose helps couples avoid growing apart and building resentments- Clear communication and explicit agreements are crucial for trust and connectionCall to Action:Take the free Make More Love Relationship Dynamics Quiz at MakeMoreLove.show/quiz to gain clarity on your relationship issues and receive personalized recommendations.Closing Thoughts:Bringing clarity into every aspect of your relationship fosters trust, respect, and genuine connection. It's a process that takes time and adjustment but leads to greater safety and freedom in the partnership.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love With Your Wife and In Your Life.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for the guidance of a qualified mental health or medical professional.Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com