MBT EN – Understanding Mentalization-Based Treatment

🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Being Understood and Losing Yourself in the Group”Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast.In this episode, you are given a unique insight into a group session within Mentalization-Based Treatment — a space where multiple people come together, and where thoughts, emotions, and patterns become visible through interaction with others.What makes this session powerful is how multiple personal contributions begin to intertwine and affect one another. What starts as a question about trust gradually unfolds into a deeper conversation about not feeling seen, adapting to others, and the struggle between control and letting go.Today, we listen to a group session where themes such as feeling misunderstood, self-criticism, fear of rejection, and the search for safety come to the surface.⸻🧠 What this episode exploresNot being heardA key moment in this session arises when a group member feels unheard.A question is repeated.An answer does not seem to land.And what appears as irritation on the surfacereveals something deeper underneath:Am I truly being seen?⸻The search for connectionThe group tries to understand, to help, and to ask questions.But this is where tension begins to build:* when does someone truly connect?* when does someone feel understood?* and why does it work with one person, but not with another?This reveals how complex real connection can be.⸻Support that doesn’t landAn important insight in this session is that support is not always received as intended.The intention may be good.The words may make sense.But if the feeling does not match,it simply does not land.And that can create even more distance.⸻Adapting versus being yourselfSeveral group members show how deeply the pattern of adapting is rooted.You try to do the right thing.You try to understand.You try not to hurt the other.But in doing so,you begin to lose yourself.And that is where the tension arises:Do I stay true to myself… or do I adapt?⸻Self-criticism and controlThis session also reveals how strong self-criticism can be.A small interactioncan turn into an inner storm:* Did I do something wrong?* Should I have done it differently?* What does this say about me?The need for controlcollides with the reality that you cannot control others.⸻Insecurity rooted in the pastBeneath the surface, it becomes clear that many reactions are rooted in earlier experiences.Situations where:* you had to adapt to stay safe* you depended on others’ reactions* you never knew how someone would respondAnd those patterns continue to live on in the present.⸻Mentalizing in real timeWhat makes this session powerful is how mentalizing happens in real time.* someone feels attacked* someone withdraws* someone tries to help* someone becomes confusedAnd the therapists help to slow things down:What is happening right now?What are you feeling?What might the other person mean?Not to solve —but to understand.⸻🌟 The common threadThe central theme of this episode is the tensionbetween wanting to be understoodand losing yourself in the attempt to connect.The need for connectionexists alongside the fear of getting it wrong.The desire to do things rightexists alongside the fear of rejection.Mentalizing helps you pauseinstead of reacting automatically —to reflect on what is happeningwithin yourself,within the other,and within the group.⸻💬 ClosingThis episode shows how intense and layered group sessions can be.It is not a linear conversation,but a living process where everything overlaps:emotions, thoughts, reactions, and misunderstandings.And within that complexity, growth happens.Sometimes, the most important step is not solving the moment,but tolerating what is happening.“This is what is happening right now… and that is okay.”

🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Being Yourself and Finding Your Place in the Group”Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast.In this episode, you are given a unique insight into a group session within Mentalization-Based Treatment — a space where multiple people come together, and where thoughts, emotions, and patterns become visible through interaction with others.What makes this session powerful is how one person’s sharing can set the entire group dynamic in motion. Different perspectives, emotions, and reactions begin to intertwine. And within that complexity, it becomes clear how challenging it can be to stay true to yourself — while also being part of a group.Today, we listen to a group session where themes such as loneliness, adapting, not feeling understood, and searching for connection come to the surface.⸻🧠 What this episode exploresSharing something vulnerableWhen a group member speaks about personal struggles and dark thoughts, the group immediately begins to move.There is engagement.Questions.A desire to help.But also confusion and tension:how do you respond to something this vulnerable?⸻Giving support… and receiving supportThis session clearly shows that giving support is not the same as receiving it.Group members try to help by asking questions or offering solutions.But sometimes, this can make someone feel even less understood.This creates an important tension:when does something help… and when does it not?⸻The feeling of not belongingThe group also reveals how different inner worlds can be.When someone cannot relate to another person’s experience, distance can arise.And beneath that distance is often a deeper feeling:I don’t belongI am differentI am alone⸻Adapting versus being yourselfA recurring theme in this session is adaptation.Many group members recognize the pattern:adjusting to othersbeing considerateputting yourself in the backgroundBut what happens when you stop doing that automatically?Then uncertainty arises.Tension appears.And sometimes resistance —within yourself and in others.⸻The role of the groupThe power of the group session becomes clearly visible here.Not only do the therapists guide the process,but the reactions of group members to each other reveal deeper patterns.* someone withdraws* someone tries to help* someone becomes irritated* someone feels aloneAnd that is exactly what gets explored.⸻Mentalizing in interactionWhile one-on-one therapy often focuses inward,this session shows how mentalizing happens in real time between people.Not only: what do I feel?But also:* what is happening for the other person?* what does my reaction do to them?* where does misunderstanding occur?The therapists help to slow things down, put words to emotions, and invite a different perspective.⸻🌟 The common threadThe central theme of this episode is the tensionbetween being yourselfand connecting with others.The need to be understoodexists alongside the fear of not being understood.The desire for connectionexists alongside the urge to withdraw.Mentalizing helps you not to react immediately,but to pause and reflect on what is happening —within yourself, within the other, and within the group.⸻💬 ClosingThis episode shows how complex — and at the same time how valuable — group sessions can be.It is not a structured conversation with a clear line,but a living process where everything overlaps:emotions, thoughts, reactions, and misunderstandings.And within that complexity, growth takes place.Sometimes, the most important step is not finding the right answer,but staying present in what is happening.“This is what is happening right now… and I stay with it.”

🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Old Patterns and New Boundaries”Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast.In the previous episode, Behind Closed Doors, you were given a rare glimpse into a one-on-one therapy session.Today, we take you there again.But this time… something shifts.Not loudly.Not dramatically.But in a way that changes everything beneath the surface.Because this session is not just about what is happening around the client —it is about what is starting to happen within.⸻🧠 What unfolds in this episodeWhen everything starts to buildSometimes tension doesn’t come from one moment.It builds.A conversation that doesn’t sit right.A body that reacts in ways you don’t fully understand.A situation you can’t control.And suddenly… you’re not where you thought you were.You feel it —but you can’t fully explain it yet.⸻The invisible pressureThere is something many people will recognize here.You try to do the right thing.You think things through.You take others into account.And still… it doesn’t land that way.And somewhere inside, a question quietly starts to grow:Am I doing this right… or am I losing myself again?⸻The moment things start to shiftThere is a point in this session where something changes.Not because the situation changes —but because the response does.For the first time, the client doesn’t immediately adjust.Doesn’t fix.Doesn’t move toward the other.Instead… he pauses.And stays.And that’s where it becomes uncomfortable.⸻When old feelings resurfaceBecause when you don’t adapt anymore,something else shows up.Something older.A feeling that isn’t just about now —but feels much deeper than the moment itself.A feeling that says:Do I matter here… or not?⸻A different kind of choiceAnd slowly, something new begins to emerge.Not as a decision.Not as a strategy.But as a different way of being.A boundary that doesn’t collapse.A moment that isn’t rushed.A reaction that doesn’t take over.And maybe, for the first time:the space to stay with what is actually felt.⸻And then… the outside world respondsBecause change doesn’t happen in isolation.When you shift,the people around you feel it.Sometimes they understand.Sometimes they don’t.And sometimes…they push back.⸻🌟 The thread running through it allThis episode lives in the tension between two forces:What feels familiar.And what is starting to change.Between adapting…and staying.Between keeping the connection…and not losing yourself in the process.Mentalizing happens exactly here.Not in certainty.But in the moment where you pause —and don’t immediately act.⸻💬 ClosingWhat you’re about to hear is not a solution.It’s a process.A moment where something could go in many directions —but doesn’t.Because instead of reacting…there is a pause.And in that pause, something shifts.Not on the outside.But on the inside.And sometimes, that’s where real change begins.

🎙️ Episode 11 – Session 11: Depression, Attachment and MentalizingWelcome to episode 11 of the MBT podcast.Today, we explore a topic that is deeply human and often difficult to talk about: depression.Not just as a diagnosis, but as an emotional experience connected to loss, attachment, and how we understand ourselves and others.⸻📌 What this session is aboutIn this session, we look at how depression is closely linked to loss and separation.This can be very clear and visible, like: • losing a loved one • the end of a relationship • losing a job or a place where you felt you belongedBut loss can also be more subtle: • losing a sense of identity • feeling disconnected from others • or feeling like you’ve lost yourselfThese experiences can lead to deep feelings of sadness, loneliness, and emptiness.According to the publications on MBT, depression can develop when a natural grief response does not fade, but instead becomes persistent and overwhelming.⸻🔎 How depression developsEveryone reacts differently to loss.Some people process it and slowly recover.But for others, especially when there have been earlier painful experiences or unstable attachments, the impact can be much stronger.Depression can then become a kind of automatic response.You may start to notice patterns like: • feeling stuck in sadness • losing motivation or energy • withdrawing from others • feeling hopeless about the futureAnd over time, this can become your “normal.”⸻🧠 Depressive thinking patternsOne of the most important parts of this session is understanding how we think when we are depressed.These thoughts often feel like facts, but they are not.Examples include: • “It will never get better.” • “Everything is my fault.” • “I’m not good enough.”These are called automatic negative thoughts.They feel real — but they are often shaped by past experiences and emotional pain.And here is the key insight from MBT:When you are depressed, it becomes harder to mentalize.Meaning:You lose the ability to reflect on your thoughts and feelings with distance and curiosity.Instead, your thoughts feel absolute and true.⸻⚖️ The role of mentalizing in depressionMentalizing helps you to: • step back from your thoughts • question what feels like “the truth” • understand that feelings are temporary • and see that there may be other perspectivesWithout mentalizing, depression can trap you in a closed system: • your thoughts confirm your feelings • your feelings reinforce your thoughtsAnd the cycle continues.⸻💊 Treatment and recoveryDepression can be treated.In some cases, medication is used to reduce the intensity of emotions.But within MBT, the focus is on something deeper:Reconnecting with your emotions — not avoiding them.Because even though painful emotions are difficult,they are also the key to understanding yourself.Therapy helps you to: • explore your thoughts and feelings • understand where they come from • and slowly rebuild your ability to mentalizeThis process takes time — but it creates real, lasting change.⸻🔁 Why this mattersDepression is not weakness.It is not failure.It is often a signal —that something important has been lost,or was never fully there.And understanding that…is where recovery begins.⸻🎯 ReflectionTake a moment to reflect: • When have you experienced negative thoughts like these? • Did they feel like facts, or could you question them? • And what happens when you try to look at them with curiosity instead of certainty?⸻🎧 ClosingThis brings us to the end of all 11 sessions of the MBT program.In the next episode, we will offer a unique and personal insight into a one-on-one therapy session, known in the Dutch version of this podcast as:“Behind Closed Doors.”Thank you for listening, and don’t forget to follow us to stay up to date with our latest episodes.

🎙️ Episode 10 – Session 9: Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) – Part 2Welcome back.In the previous session, we explored how MBT works and how mentalizing develops through interaction.Today, we go deeper into one of the most challenging parts of therapy: opening up in relationships.Because understanding growswhere vulnerability begins.⸻📌 What this session is about • The importance of building relationships within therapy — with both therapists and group members. • Why it can feel difficult or even unsafe to open up and share personal thoughts and feelings. • How past experiences can influence trust, closeness, and emotional expression. • Recognizing the thoughts and feelings that make you want to withdraw or protect yourself.⸻🔎 Real-life examples • You hesitate to share something personal because you’re afraid of being judged or misunderstood. • You feel disappointed or hurt by someone in the group, but keep it to yourself. • You notice the urge to pull back just when a connection starts to feel important.⸻📚 Why it mattersIn every relationship,both positive and negative feelings are present.Feelings like: • rejection • disappointment • anger • or shamecan make it hard to stay open.But avoiding these feelings can also limit your ability to grow and connect.Learning to recognize and express themcreates space for understanding — instead of disconnection.⸻✨ How MBT works with thisIn MBT, the focus is on what happens in the here and now within the group.Therapists help by: • Slowing down interactions • Asking questions • Bringing attention to emotions as they ariseYou practise: • Naming what you feel in the moment • Staying present, even when it’s uncomfortable • Repairing connections after tension or misunderstandingThe goal is not perfect relationships —but the ability to restore connection.⸻💡 Practice from Session 9This week, notice how you respond when you feel: • misunderstood • rejected • or not seen • Do you withdraw, react, or stay silent? • What thoughts and feelings come up? • Can you pause and reflect before reacting?Try to stay curious about your experience.⸻🌟 Core messageOpening up is not easy —but it is where change happens.By staying present with difficult emotions,you learn that relationships can hold tensionwithout breaking.And in that space,trust, understanding, and connection can grow.

🎙️ Episode 8 – Session 7: Understanding Personality DisordersWelcome back.In the previous sessions, we explored emotions, attachment, and how these shape the way we think and relate.Today, we focus on something that often carries a lot of misunderstanding: personality disorders.Not as labels —but as patterns that developed over time.⸻📌 What this session is about • What a personality disorder really is: long-standing patterns in thinking, feeling, and behaving that affect relationships and daily life. • How these patterns develop through a combination of biological sensitivity and life experiences, especially early relationships. • Why these patterns are not fixed — and can change over time. • A closer look at borderline personality disorder, and how it relates to difficulties in mentalizing.⸻🔎 Real-life examples • Relationships that quickly shift from very close to very distant. • Strong fear of being abandoned, even in small situations. • Acting impulsively when emotions feel overwhelming. • Feeling empty or unsure about who you are.⸻📚 Why it mattersThese patterns are not signs of weakness —they are ways of coping that once made sense.When emotions become intense,the ability to mentalize can break down.This can lead to: • misunderstandings • unstable relationships • emotional ups and downsUnderstanding these patterns helps you move from self-judgment to self-understanding.⸻✨ How MBT works with thisIn MBT, the focus is not on changing who you are,but on understanding how you respond — especially under stress.You learn to: • Recognize when emotions take over • Pause and reflect instead of reacting immediately • Stay curious about your own thoughts and feelings • Understand how your reactions affect othersStep by step, this creates more stability and clarity in relationships.⸻💡 Practice from Session 7Reflect on a moment this week where you felt emotionally overwhelmed. • What did you feel? • What did you do? • What might have been happening inside you — and inside the other person?Try to look at it with curiosity instead of judgment.⸻🌟 Core messagePersonality patterns are not who you are —they are how you learned to cope.When you begin to understand them,you create space for change.And in that space,you can build more stable, meaningful connections —with yourself and with others.

🎙️ Episode 6 – Session 5: The Importance of AttachmentWelcome back.In the previous session, we explored how to recognize and regulate emotions.Today, we go one step deeper — into something that shapes those emotions from the very beginning: attachment.Because how you learned to connect with othersaffects how you feel, respond, and relate — even today.⸻📌 What this session is about • Understanding what attachment is: the emotional bond between you and important others, especially in early life. • How early relationships shape your expectations of yourself and others. • The difference between secure and insecure attachment styles. • How attachment influences how you deal with stress, fear, and emotional closeness.⸻🔎 Real-life examples • As a child, when you were upset, someone comforted you — and you learned that your feelings matter. • Or, when no one responded, you may have learned to hide your emotions or deal with them alone. • In adult relationships, this can show up as needing a lot of reassurance — or keeping distance to protect yourself.⸻📚 Why it mattersAttachment patterns don’t stay in the past.They continue to influence how you: • trust others • express emotions • handle closeness or distanceWhen attachment feels unsafe, emotions can become more intense or harder to manage.Understanding your attachment helps you understand why you react the way you do.⸻✨ How MBT works with thisIn MBT, attachment is explored within relationships — especially in therapy itself.You learn to: • Notice how you respond when you feel close to someone • Recognize patterns of seeking or avoiding connection • Understand how your past influences your present reactionsThrough new experiences of being understood,you can slowly build a sense of safety and trust.⸻💡 Practice from Session 5Take some time this week to reflect on your relationships. • How do you usually feel in close relationships — safe, anxious, distant? • What do you do when you feel insecure or stressed? • Do you reach out, or do you pull away?Write down what you notice, without judgment.⸻🌟 Core messageAttachment shapes how you connect —with others and with yourself.By understanding your patterns,you create the possibilityto respond differently.And with that,you open the door to safer, more stable relationships.

Welcome back.In the previous session, we explored what happens when mentalizing breaks down.Today, we focus on something at the core of that process: emotions.Because emotions are not the problem —they are signals.📌 What this session is aboutEmotions are automatic, physical responses that happen in all humans.When you become aware of them and can name them, they turn into feelings.Within MBT, we work with seven basic emotions: curiosity, fear, anger, desire, love, sadness, and playfulness.Each emotion has a purpose: to protect you, guide you, or connect you with others.🔎 Real-life examplesYour heart starts racing — but you don’t know if it’s fear, stress, or excitement.You feel irritated, but underneath there may be sadness or disappointment.You experience physical tension without understanding the emotion behind it.📚 Why it mattersEmotions are never “wrong.”They give you important information about what you need.Problems arise when:You don’t recognize your emotionsYou misinterpret themOr your feelings and physical reactions no longer matchThis can lead to confusion, conflict, or feeling disconnected from yourself.✨ How MBT works with thisIn MBT, you learn to slow down and notice what you feel.You practise:Recognizing emotions in your bodyPutting them into wordsUnderstanding what they are trying to tell youThe goal is not to control emotions, but to understand them.💡 Practice from Session 3Take time this week to reflect on your emotions.What did you feel?Were you able to name those feelings?Or did you mainly notice physical signals, like tension or restlessness?Write it down and observe patterns without judgment.🌟 Core messageEmotions are not obstacles —they are guides.The more you learn to recognize and understand them,the more you reconnect with yourselfand with others.

🎙️ Episode 2 – Session 1: What Is Mentalizing?Welcome to the first real session of this MBT-i series.Today we begin at the core of everything: mentalizing — the ability to understand yourself, others, and the relationships between you.📌 What this session is about;Mentalizing means noticing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and recognizing that other people also act from their own inner worlds.It’s about being curious, open-minded, and non-judgmental — even when emotions run high.When you can mentalize, you gain insight, self-control, and healthier communication.🔎 Real-life examples;You pause before reacting in anger and ask yourself, “What might this person be feeling right now?”You realise that someone’s silence doesn’t necessarily mean rejection — it could mean they feel anxious or unsure.📚 Why it matters;Mentalizing connects emotion with understanding.It helps prevent misunderstandings, keeps relationships balanced, and allows you to stay calm when things feel chaotic.✨ How MBT works with this;Throughout MBT you’ll practise a mentalizing attitude:Stay curious about yourself and others.Accept that you can never know exactly what someone else feels.Remember that emotions influence thoughts — and vice versa.💡 Practice from Session 1;Have a short conversation with someone close to you.Try to find out how their day really felt for them.Then write down:1️⃣ How you think they felt (and check if you were right).2️⃣ How it was for you to ask and listen.🌟 Core message;Mentalizing starts with curiosity.It’s not about being right — it’s about wanting to understand.By staying open, even in confusion, you begin the journey toward better self-awareness and deeper connection.