Modern Love

Laverne Cox never fit in as a child in Mobile, Ala. But she really didn’t want to. From an early age, she knew she was going to be a star, and she was right. Decades later, Cox would break through as Sophia Burset on Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black,” and become the first openly transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy Award in an acting category. How to submit a Modern Love Essay How to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Cox talks about her new memoir, “Transcendent.” She tells the story of how she became the star she always knew she was, the men she loved along the way and how she learned to fully love herself.

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton’s lives are completely intertwined. They’ve been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possible. The two see the same therapist, are nearly constantly touching each other and find it hard to function when one of them is away, a dynamic they describe as codependent. Their codependency is the inspiration for their new film “Magic Hour,” which they co-wrote and which Aselton directs and stars in. For the couple, codependency has added real depth and beauty to their relationship to the point they think the entire concept needs a rebranding. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Duplass and Aselton make their case for codependency, explain what it has enabled in their lives and share what they’ve had to sacrifice to maintain it.

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they recognize him from his semiautobiographical sitcom, "Ramy," or his latest special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love." In fact, Youssef’s dog, Basha, is a big part of the special and has become a major part of his life, even if he does sometimes steal the spotlight. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Youssef tells Anna Martin, our host, what he has learned about unconditional love from Basha. He reads a Modern Love essay from the archive, in which the writer describes working at an animal rescue and how watching humans in the midst of the adoption process redeemed them a little in her eyes.

Please note: this episode contains explicit descriptions of sex. Jennette McCurdy pretty much grew up in front of an audience. In her role on the Nickelodeon show “iCarly,” she seemed like a bubbly, happy teenager. Behind the scenes, though, she was struggling. In her 2022 memoir, “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” McCurdy described her toxic and often abusive relationship with her mother, her struggles with depression and disordered eating, and the painful work she did to build herself back up. The book was a New York Times bestseller for over 80 weeks. McCurdy has a new book out, and this time, she’s written a novel. “Half His Age” tells the story of an intimate relationship between a 17-year-old girl named Waldo and her 40-year-old teacher, Mr. Korgy. This week on “Modern Love,” McCurdy explains how some of her own experiences inspired the story in “Half His Age,” and how writing the book allowed her to work through her rage, understand her desire and reclaim her power.

Sam Graham-Felsen was not a tough child. He feared violence and didn’t feel that he could stand up for himself when he was bullied. His fear ate away at his confidence; he was afraid to go on dates, afraid to try hard in school. As an adult, he thought he had moved past those fears. But then he started to notice some of those same tendencies in his young son. Sam wanted to change that, so he took his son on a cross-country road trip to Badlands National Park, in search of what Theodore Roosevelt called “the strenuous life.” Along the way, he found himself wrestling with what it means to be a good man, and to raise a good man. This week on “Modern Love,” Sam explains what happened, and how his son changed his own ideas about what it means to be tough. You can read Sam’s original story in The New York Times Magazine.

Do you think you could be having better sex? Are you confident you know what really turns you on? What makes your body feel good? How do you communicate about it? Nicole McNichols wants everyone to be asking these questions. Dr. McNichols is a psychology professor at the University of Washington, where she teaches a class on human sexuality to over 4,000 students a year. She has immersed herself in decades of research on what makes a good, fulfilling sex life — and she has the data to back it up. Her new book, “You Could Be Having Better Sex,” is full of practical tips, backed by science, on how to have truly fulfilling sex. On this week’s episode of “Modern Love,” Dr. McNichols explains the most common misunderstandings people have about sex and shares practical advice for how to level up your sex life. What’s the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever seen? If something made you feel that rush of romance, send us a voice memo, and we may use it on the show. Check out our submission page to learn more. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times How to submit a Tiny Love Story

When it came time to retire, Robyn Yerian didn’t feel like she had enough money saved. She didn’t want to depend on her children or end up in a nursing home, so she cashed out what she had in her 401(k) and bought a plot of land in East Texas. She built spots for tiny homes and called the area the Bird’s Nest. Over time, the Bird’s Nest has become home to a community of women who are rethinking retirement. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Yerian and Cheryl Huff, a longtime resident of the Bird’s Nest, describe what it feels like to grow older together with the support of other women, and discuss why they can’t imagine doing it any other way.