Older Women & Friends: Stories of Aging Well

In this compelling episode of Older Women and Friends, host Jane Leder | Aging Well Advocate for Older Women sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Becky Whetstone to explore one of the fastest-growing social trends today: gray divorce—and why more older women are choosing to redefine love, relationships, and personal fulfillment after 50.With over two decades of clinical experience—and four marriages of her own—Dr. Becky brings a rare combination of professional expertise and lived experience to this powerful conversation. Together, they unpack the emotional, psychological, and societal factors shaping modern relationships, especially during major life transitions like aging, retirement, and shifting identity.Why are women initiating nearly two-thirds of divorces later in life? What really happens behind the scenes in long-term marriages? And how can individuals navigate relationship challenges while prioritizing self-care, purpose, and emotional well-being?This episode dives deep into the realities of aging and relationships, revealing how patterns like emotional disconnection, lack of communication, and unmet needs often build over time. Dr. Becky explains how attachment styles, personal history, and self-worth influence our relationship choices—and how we can break unhealthy cycles to create a more meaningful life.You’ll also discover practical tools for deciding whether to stay in a marriage or move on, including key questions every couple should ask before making a life-changing decision. The conversation also explores alternative relationship models like “living apart together” (LAT), showing that modern relationships don’t have to follow traditional rules to be successful.Beyond relationships, this episode highlights the importance of personal growth, independence, and reinvention in later life. As we age, we often reevaluate our priorities—seeking deeper purpose, stronger friendships, and a more authentic sense of self. For many older women, this stage becomes an opportunity to reclaim identity, build confidence, and embrace a new chapter with clarity and intention.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why gray divorce is increasing among older womenThe most common reasons long-term relationships break downHow to evaluate your marriage before making a decisionThe role of emotional connection, communication, and attachment stylesHow self-worth and identity evolve across the lifespanWays to rebuild life after divorce with confidence and independenceThe importance of friendships, support systems, and social connectionsHow alternative relationship models can support modern lifestylesWhy personal growth, wisdom, and self-care are essential for aging wellhttps://doctorbecky.com/about-doctor-becky/https://www.linkedin.com/in/marriagecrisismanager/https://medium.com/@doctorbecky

In this thought-provoking and uplifting episode of “Older Women and Friends,” host Jane Leder | Aging Well Advocate for Older Women, sits down with singer, writer, and vintage fashion enthusiast Mollie Kaye for a powerful conversation about loneliness, visibility, personal expression, and the surprising ways older women can create meaningful connections in everyday life.As many women move through midlife and beyond, they often face new challenges, including social isolation, changing identities, retirement transitions, and a sense of becoming invisible in a culture that tends to prioritize youth. In this episode, Mollie shares her deeply personal story of confronting loneliness after turning 50 and discovering an unexpected path toward connection and community.Her journey began with a simple yet creative experiment: every Tuesday, she dressed in elegant, vintage-inspired 1950s clothing while running everyday errands. What started as a fun personal challenge quickly evolved into something much bigger. Strangers began stopping her to talk, compliment her outfits, share their own memories, and start spontaneous conversations. These small moments of interaction revealed something profound — self-expression can become a powerful bridge to human connection.🎧 In This Episode You’ll Discover:Why loneliness and social isolation are increasingly common for older adultsHow personal style and self-expression can create unexpected human connectionsThe psychological benefits of being visible and authentic at any ageHow creativity and individuality support confidence and emotional well-beingWhy older women often feel overlooked—and how to reclaim visibility and voicePractical ways to build community, friendships, and meaningful interactions in everyday lifeHow embracing uniqueness can help people age with purpose, joy, and confidenceWhether you are an older woman navigating life after midlife, someone supporting aging parents, or simply interested in the evolving conversation around aging well, social connection, and personal empowerment, this episode offers inspiration, practical insights, and a fresh perspective on how we can stay connected and engaged at every stage.https://www.instagram.com/reels/C9imhzayMAQ/https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/mollie-kaye-expression-bridge-connection-9oise/https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mollie+kaye

Join me and guest Sara Zeph Geber, an expert on solo aging, as we discuss the growing number of adults 50+ choosing to live independently. This episode explores the opportunities and challenges of aging without immediate family support, offering insights into financial planning, healthcare, social connections, and building intentional communities. Sara and I highlight the positives of solo aging, including independence, flexibility, and emotional well-being, while providing practical advice for older women seeking a purposeful, secure, and fulfilling life in later years.https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarazeffgeber/https://sarazeffgeber.com/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGvgGw7la5w

I've been asked a zillion times to do an episode about me and to answer many of the same questions I ask guests. Listeners (now viewers, too) are curious about who I am, how I started a podcast, the books I've written, the experience of losing a brother to suicide, and life as an 80-year-old. It's taken me three years to get to this solo episode, not because I underestimated the value, but because of all the stellar guests I've been privileged to interview. It is so exciting to share the stories of older women who are out there living what some call the Third Act with enthusiasm, joie de vivre, and wisdom.I'd love you to send me a comment on janeleder.net. What questions remain about me and my journey? It's been quite a ride!TakeawaysJane started podcasting at 77, driven by curiosity.She learned the technical aspects of podcasting through trial and error.Aging can be vibrant and fulfilling, contrary to stereotypes.Humor plays a crucial role in coping with aging.Making mistakes is a natural part of learning at any age.Writing helped Jane process her grief over her brother's death.Sibling relationships can be complex and challenging.Jane's books explore deep emotional themes and personal connections.Teaching shaped Jane's perspective on storytelling and learning.Engaging with others through podcasts has been a joy for Jane. TitlesA Journey into Podcasting at 77Vitality and Humor in AgingSound bites"I want to be a podcaster.""It's okay to make mistakes.""Humor is key to aging."Chapters00:00 The Birth of a Podcaster05:12 Embracing Aging and Vitality10:52 Reflections on Life and Learning15:33 The Journey of Writing and Healing22:36 A Life of Teaching and Storytellingjaneleder.nethttps://youtube.com@olderwomenandfriends

Kelly Jackson, 73, and Sally, 75, are sisters who have lived together without husbands or children for almost 20 years. They reconnected as live-in caregivers for their mother, and during the four years they cared for her, they turned to blogging and short videos to keep their spirits up. They used the handle, "Midlife Gal's Gone Gray," and their mission was to ensure that women in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond never stop laughing. After a decade living in Honolulu, the sisters are back on the mainland, intending to become senior social media influencers.With over 300,000 viewers on their platforms and thousands of likes, shares, and subscribers, I'm betting on their success.Chapters00:25 Introduction and First Impressions00:48 Sisters Reunited: A Journey Begins10:25 Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics17:16 Caring for Mom: A New Chapter23:06 Finding Laughter in Life's Challenges28:40 Political Humor and Social Media Aspirations30:26 Words of Wisdom for Older Women"We're two sisters, old as dirt and bold as brass. Reality at its most bizarre."TakeawaysThe sisters had a non-traditional upbringing with a mother who was not very maternal.They decided to care for their mother when they realized she needed help.Laughter and humor are essential for coping with life's challenges.Moving to Hawaii was a significant turning point in their lives.They found creative outlets to express themselves and cope with caregiving.The importance of sibling relationships and shared experiences is highlighted.Aging can be navigated with humor and creativity.They reflect on their childhood memories and how they shaped their lives.The sisters emphasize the importance of finding joy in everyday life.Wisdom gained from experiences can be shared with others, especially older women.https://www.youtube.com/@TheMidlifeGalsGoneGrayINF/shorts  https://www.youtube.com/@TheMidlifeGalsGoneGrayINF/shortshttps://www.tiktok.com/@themidlifegalsgonegrayhttps://www.instagram.com/sallyjackson5848/?hl=enI'm now up on YouTube.You can watch this episode at  https://youtu.be/72wGKcF6m4U

Haven't made a trip to your local cannabis dispensary? Haven't talked to your physician about a medical marijuana card? Don't have a clue how cannabis may help with all kinds of health issues, from insomnia to anxiety, from certain serious diseases to focus/concentration? Or, what the hell? Maybe for relaxation and fun. How did cannabis get a bad rep in so many circles? What role has racism played? Greed? And why the heck is alcohol seen as somehow okay when cannabis is not?My guest today is Kelly Goldberg, a cannabis educator and advocate, about the health benefits of cannabis, particularly for women as they age. Kelly shares her personal journey into cannabis advocacy, the historical context of cannabis legality, and the various medical benefits of cannabis. The discussion also covers how to navigate cannabis use, dosage, and the importance of understanding THC and CBD. Kelly emphasizes the need for education and advocacy in the cannabis space, especially for older women seeking alternative health solutions. It's important to find an RN, MD, or a "budtender" who is knowledgeable and can answer questions and suggest or prescribe.I assume that many of us have smoked "pot" in college and beyond. Or, at least took a "hit" or two at a raucous party. One woman I spoke to said all she knew how to do was "roll" a "joint," but had no idea about the best way to consume cannabis today.Stick around. You'll learn a lot!https://scps.depaul.edu/faculty-and-staff/faculty-a-z/Pages/kelly-goldberg.aspx https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellyjudgegoldberg/https://www.facebook.com/kelly.j.goldberg.3/For Questions About Cannabis (or any of the other topics we've covered) j.leder@comcast.netSally Duplantiersally@myzinglife.com

At 60, Denise Taylor began again: downsized, got a divorce, embraced single living, and set off on a journey that included a vision quest, game ranger training, and time living with a Maasai tribe. At 64, she completed her doctorate exploring how people find meaning after full-time work. That research became the seed for ThriveSpan, one of nine books, a model, a philosophy, and a way of living more consciously in later life."I could see the future," Denise said. "If I were going to make any changes, I'd better make them now."Single living was difficult. She realized that she had no friends. Denise and her ex-husband had done everything together. There'd been no room, time, or convenience of friends. But she put in the time and energy and developed enough social contact to make her happy.But the beauty of being single allowed Denise to make her own decisions. She no longer had to placate her ex. "There was such freedom," she said. "Every decision is mine."You'll want to listen to Denise talk about her experiences as a vision quester (Is there such a thing?), her time spent with a Masai tribe, and the owner of four acres of woodland. "Nature has influenced me in so many ways; it certainly influences my writing and the connection I feel to Mother Nature."https://denisetaylor.co.uk/https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/retirement-relevance-question-who-we-without-doing-dr-denise-taylor-9vn1e/https://www.linkedin.com/in/denisetaylor/?originalSubdomain=uk

It's a new trend, well, maybe not that new. Couples in committed relationships are choosing to live apart. Interesting, eh? The couple might be married, maybe not. Perhaps they are divorced; maybe a partner/spouse has passed away. Whatever the circumstances, these couples agree that they don't have to share the same space to have a happy, healthy relationship. Vicki Larson, today's guest, has written LATitude: How You Can Make A Live Apart Together Relationship Work. "It seems as if women 50-plus are the movers and shakers," she says. "Many women (and men) are uninterested in replicating past marriages or long-term commitments."While the statistics don't tell the whole story, it is estimated that ten percent of American couples and those in other countries are living together apart. "It's becoming much more common than we thought," says Vicki.Vicki tells the story of her own parents, who lived apart for ten years. "It didn't faze me," she says. Her mother left New York City and moved to Florida. She had had enough. (They eventually lived together again.)Vicki points out that there are no rules when it comes to LAT relationships. Couples fashion whatever works for them. For some, the idea is terrifying. For others, it is a grand creative adventure.What are some of the benefits of living apart together, according to those who've embraced the arrangement? It gives some breathing space, a "room of one's own." For others, it brings a sexual novelty to the relationship. Still others subscribe to the sentiment that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."There are, of course, downsides. The romantic partner may not be accepted by the other partner's children. The negative response from some ("Why even get married or commit when you're not living together?") can cause tension between friends and acquaintances. And there are feelings of jealousy/a lack of trust between some couples.Again, Vicki stresses that living apart together is not for everyone and is not better than traditional relationships, just different. Deciding to live separately requires a lot of discussion, decision-making, and change. But for some, the setup is exactly how they want to live, what for many is a second or third shot at a long-term romantic relationship that works.https://www.vicki-larson.com/ https://www.facebook.com/vlarson/https://www.vicki-larson.com/bookshttps://www.linkedin.com/in/vickilarson/How to contact Wendy Battles, host of Reinvntion Rebelshttps://reinventionrebels.com/about/https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendyabattles/

Join me in this enlightening episode as I sit down with Gina Vild, author of The Two Most Important Days: How to Find Your Purpose and Live a Happier and Healthier Life. I don't know about you, but I've been in a constant state of fight or flight. It feels as if the United States and the rest of the world are upside down and that there is very little we can do to find joy and awe. Enter Gina Vild and the wisdom she brings to the table, essential wisdom if we are to survive and thrive. Gina shares her journey from political activist to communication director, from associate dean at Harvard Medical School, to author. She talks about how poetry, personal purpose, and setting emotional boundaries can transform your life and find joy and awe in everyday moments. It is these moments and moments that we relive from our past that can change our brain waves and levels of "feel good" chemicals like serotonin. Tune in to learn how to navigate life's challenges with grace and strength. Habits that help us stay sane in tumultuous times.https://www.linkedin.com/in/gina-vild-908a648/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/gina-vildhttps://www.instagram.com/ginavild/https://www.facebook.com/gina.vild/https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B075FFS7NM?ccs_id=71032ad2-f47c-48f8-8518-35e72e6f4d84POETRYWilliam Stafford, "Yes"https://reflections.yale.edu/article/reformation-writing-next-chapter/poem-yesWilliam Stafford, "Thread"https://www.slowmuse.com/2019/06/16/the-thread/Ilana Landsberg-Lewishttps://www.wizwork.net/sign-uphttps://www.linkedin.com/in/ilanalandsberglewis/https://ilanalandsberglewis.com/elementor-1000/

Three of the past guests on "Older Women & Friends" talk about what they've been up to since we last spoke. All three of their stories represent the exciting escapades of older women who continue to smash stereotypes to simitherenes.Melissa Davey: At age 65, she left the corporate world to follow a dream of becoming a filmmaker. And, boy, her story is one of determination, creativity, and success. Melissa and I first talked back at the end of 2022. She was one of my first guests on "Older Women & Friends." I was impressed then and even more three years later. Melissa's first documentary film, "Beyond Sixty," profiled some extraordinary older women. It is her second film, "Climbing Into Life," that has put her on the map. Dierdre Wolowniick, the oldest woman to climb El Capitan in Yosemite, is the subject of this documentary. You may know about her son, who is the subject of "Free Solo." He is the first person who climbed "Cap" without any protective equipment. No ropes. Nothing.In this episode, Melissa chronicles the amazing life of Dierdre, who tries to get closer to her son and to understand his obsession with climbing.https://melissadavey.com/https://melissadavey.com/climbing-into-life/https://melissadavey.com/beyond-60/Jeanette Leardi - During these stressful times in our country's history, Jeanette is focused on the 2025 mid-term elections. "To me," she says, "that is ground zero. If we get it right, things can turn around." Switching gears, Jeanette cites the happy rise in the emphasis on intergenerational communication. "It is the most important way to defeat ageism." She offers how we can meet younger folks and the kinds of experiences we can share. I also asked Jeanette about her experience with the publication of her book, Aging Sideways: Changing Our Perspectives on Getting Older.https://www.jeanetteleardi.com/https://www.jeanetteleardi.com/aging-sideways-bookhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanette-leardi-3978b126/Lucinda Skykes - Lucinda sets the record for the most frequent guest on "Older Women & Friends." She is a retired physician who has focused her attention and expertise on sleep and women 50+. It is natural to sleep as much as we age, she says. The objective is to use your time to your advantage, either in the middle of the night or early morning. Lucinda details steps any woman (and man) can take to do exactly that. If you've listened to an episode with Lucinda, you know that she is knowledgeable about so many topics, including wisdom and how we can take advantage of all that we've experienced and live happy, fulfilling lives.https://lucindasykesmd.com/https://lucindasykesmd.com/my-story/

The Woman Behind The MotherPoet, novelist, essayist, and editor Jill Bialosky had wanted to write about her mother for some time, but she was busy with other projects, and the timing was not right. But then her mother passed away from Alzheimer's during COVID, and Jill, unable to attend the burial in another city, watched the abbreviated burial on FaceTime. "It was," she said, "very difficult to process her death."As many authors do, she turned to writing to process her grief. Her essay about the FaceTime Funeral appeared in the New York Times; The floodgates opened wide. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/opinion/coronavirus-burial-facetime.htmlJill's mother was born in 1933 into a world in which women were expected to marry, have children, and live happily ever after. Tragically, her husband died when she was twenty-five, and she was left to care for three daughters, all under the age of three. "She was so unequipped," Jill said. "The advice of family and friends was to find a new husband to take care of us. That's what she did." Unfortunately, that marriage didn't last.When Jill began to write about her mother in earnest, she decided to start with her mother's death and to move from there, tracing her mother's life back to her childhood. In this episode of "Older Women & Friends," she explains why she decided to move from the end to the beginning. She also takes a hard look at what living in an institution is like and her evolving view of people with Alzheimer's. "They no longer control the narrative of their lives, but are still expressing and participating."This is a touching, insightful episode that should not be missed.https://www.jillbialosky.com/Another recommended podcast for mid-life women."Aging with Purpose and Passion" with Beverly Glazer https://www.agingwithpurposeandpassion.com/

"Anorexia of aging" may affect up to 18% of individuals 65+, more women than men.Contrary to popular opinion, eating disorders (EDs) are not just a serious health condition for adolescents. Nope, older women, often during menopause, can develop an ED. If you struggled with an ED as a teen or earlier, your chances of sliding back increase.Today's guest, Michele Mason (60), is a 44-year survivor of anorexia nervosa. She was sixteen when, at 5'11" and weighing 150 pounds, she shrank to 100 pounds. After a three-month hospital stay, she managed to keep her anorexia in check and, over the years, stuffed the experience away to the point where she'd convinced herself that none of this had ever happened.Following the Pandemic and the explosion of social media, Michele began writing a memoir titled Annihilating Anorexia. She felt compelled to share her experience and all that she'd learned along the way. "I came kicking and screaming," she said. "I was certain people would think less of me."To her surprise, she received support, kindness, and understanding. And she also discovered that older women and anorexia were much more common than she'd imagined. "When I was pitching the book, women came up to me with stories of a daughter or friend or another family member who was struggling with an eating disorder. I was amazed."In this episode, Michele and I talk about the red flags of eating disorders, the symptoms, the pressures in today's world to be thin, and the fortitude it takes to conquer the disease. Research is showing that eating disorders may be brain-based and that there are people who have a genetic predisposition. We also talk about the shame women (and men) feel and the education desperately needed to help curb a problem that is growing, one that is affecting more and more older women. https://www.amazon.com/Annihilating-Anorexia-Memoir-Michele-Mason/dp/1088178545mmstep2@yahoo.com