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On the show
Recent episodes
Expert Stewart Dalley: The legal landscape of queer family building in Aotearoa
Mar 18, 2026
Unknown duration
Rose: Two mums, known donor, at-home insemination, mental health, coming off medication & raising teens in a queer whānau
Feb 17, 2026
Unknown duration
Kate: All things traditional surrogacy and being a proud, vocal support person
Feb 4, 2026
Unknown duration
Expert Andy Leggat: Counselling queer folks using donated sperm, eggs or surrogacy to grow their families
Dec 31, 2025
Unknown duration
John: Two dads, familial egg donor, gestational surrogacy, congenital heart defect and navigating early parenthood without full legal rights
Dec 15, 2025
Unknown duration
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| Date | Episode | Description | Length | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3/18/26 | Expert Stewart Dalley: The legal landscape of queer family building in Aotearoa | In this expert episode, I sit down with Stewart Dalley, a lawyer at Dalley Sundar who specialises in queer family formation in Aotearoa New Zealand. Stewart has both lived and professional experience in this space: he has three daughters of his own through surrogacy, and his work has shaped the legal landscape for queer families in ways many of us have benefited from without even knowing it. Stewart and his partner were the first same-sex de facto couple in the country to obtain joint adoption orders, and he successfully argued the case that two women can both be named as mothers on their children's birth certificates.We talk about the history of how the law in Aotearoa has treated queer families and the pathways it has opened over time. We get into the detail of donor agreements: why you should absolutely have one if you're using a personal donor, but why you also need to be really intentional about what you include, because some aspects of those agreements can in fact be enforceable by a court. We discuss what's on the horizon with surrogacy law reform, the very real pitfalls of international surrogacy, and a question Stewart is seeing come up more and more in his practice: what happens to your frozen embryos if you and your partner separate?There is a lot in this conversation. And after we hung up, Stewart said something that stayed with me: that yes, there are still hurdles and we do need to keep advocating and agitating, but we are also lucky that a pathway exists at all. That we can be the legally recognised parents of our children and have those children in the first place. When Stewart's first daughter was born, he and his partner only had guardianship orders. He was not the legally recognised parent of his own child. That reality and the distance we've travelled from it is worth holding onto.I hope you come away from this episode feeling like legal advice in this space is more accessible than you might think. It can start with a simple phone call. If you want to get in touch with Stewart to discuss your own situation, you can find him at Dalley Sundar Law: www.dslaw.nzAs always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend — it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you'd like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 2/17/26 | Rose: Two mums, known donor, at-home insemination, mental health, coming off medication & raising teens in a queer whānau | In this episode of Proud Conception, I’m joined by Rose, a mum of two who is parenting well beyond the early years, with one child in their mid-teens and another entering adolescence.We go right back to the beginning of Rose and her wife’s journey to parenthood including the enormous and complex decision to come off mental health medication in order to try for a baby. Rose speaks openly about a period of hospitalisation, the destabilising impact that had on their family, and how they navigated that chapter together. We also talk about choosing a known donor and why openness mattered deeply to them from the outset. Rose reflects on how their relationship with their donor has naturally evolved over time, and how identity and whakapapa interweave in their whānau’s story.A significant part of this conversation focuses on parenting older children in a queer family. We discuss school environments, navigating questions from peers, supporting donor-conceived children as they form their identities, and what it actually looks like when the early intensity of conception and birth gives way to the long, steady work of raising young people.What I loved most about this kōrero is Rose’s grounded optimism. She offers reassurance that while every family navigates hardship, being queer or donor-conceived has not been a defining struggle in their story. Instead, she speaks about the gift of growing up in a queer whānau; the gift of learning to think expansively about family, difference, empathy and belonging.Rose and her whānau have chosen to use pseudonyms in this episode to protect their privacy.As always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 2/4/26 | Kate: All things traditional surrogacy and being a proud, vocal support person | Today we are joined by Kate Zame and we’re getting into the nitty gritty of traditional surrogacy—not just what it is and how it differs from gestational surrogacy, but what it actually looks like when you’re living it.Kate and her wife Kelly have their own beautiful rainbow path to parenthood but this episode is about the couple’s most recent experience with Kelly being a surrogate for a queer couple. I chat with Kate about why traditional surrogacy felt like the right fit for this whanau and how they navigated all of the necessary conversations from matching up with the couple that would end up being their intended parents, talking about the biological connection, the whakapapa, that their families would share, and navigating the network of providers that helped bring this fruition, including incredible counselors, midwifes, and a boss and the interesting engagements with Oranga Tamariki. We get into the legal realities of traditional surrogacy and the emotional weight of the process.And because of my Kate’s unique position, as the wife of a surrogate, you’ll hear her reflect on what it means to support someone through surrogacy, whether as a partner or as an intended parent. So if there are any intended parents, or “IPs”, out there, I know you’ll get a lot out of this episode.Kate busts down myths and taboos around traditional surrogacy and shows exactly how arrangements like this have been happening for decades and decades because they can be ethical, respectful and safe ways for families to grow and flourish. Resources:Kate Zame on Instagram @katezameslt come for the speech and language therapy and queer parenting, stay for the good vibes. Why Do You Parent Like That with Abbey Harrison and her conversation with Kate, covering more of her own family’s personal journey.As always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 12/31/25 | Expert Andy Leggat: Counselling queer folks using donated sperm, eggs or surrogacy to grow their families | In our third expert episode, we sit down with Andy Leggat, a health psychologist at Fertility Associates, for a focused conversation about counselling for LGBTQ+ people using donated sperm, eggs, embryos or surrogacy via a fertility clinic to grow their families.We talk about what counselling is actually for in a fertility clinic context and why Andy prefers the term implications counselling when describing the work she does with the people who walk through her door. We unpack some of the ethical, psychological, legal, and relational considerations that sit beneath donor conception and surrogacy and how to center the long-term wellbeing of donor-conceived children throughout. Andy speaks about the responsibilities that sit with parents, including how and when to talk to children about their conception, and shares practical, child-centred guidance such as a simple but powerful framework: early, often and open. This conversation deeply resonated with me as a parent of donor-conceived children and I think there something in here for a range of listeners: people beginning their queer family building journey, queer folks who might be a bit resistant to counselling during their conception journey and queer parents exploring how to talk with their children about their origin story. Resources:You can learn more about Andy and her practice at https://www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/team/andy-leggat The draft paper from ESHRE mentioned by Andy around the proposal to set international limits for children conceived by individual donors can be found here: https://www.eshre.eu/Europe/Position-statements/Stakeholder-review As always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 12/15/25 | John: Two dads, familial egg donor, gestational surrogacy, congenital heart defect and navigating early parenthood without full legal rights | This week on Proud Conception, we meet John, who alongside his husband Nick, embarked on a journey to fatherhood that required immense tenacity and resilience. After ruling out adoption and international options, their path took a beautiful turn when John’s sister offered to be their egg donor. With Nick providing the sperm, their son Emerson would share a biological connection to both sides of the whānau.They worked through the search of finding a gestational surrogate and had a few false starts with the embryo transfer, but it finally all seemed to align with a positive pregnancy. Then at 20 weeks, their world shifted when at a routine scan they discovered their son had a congenital heart defect. John details the daunting reality of preparing for multiple heart surgeries for a newborn while navigating the legal complexities of New Zealand surrogacy arrangements, where, as intended parents, they technically had no legal rights to make decisions around their son’s care and treatment until parenting orders were in place post-birth. In recounting this journey, John shares his perspective of being gay dads in a hospital system designed primarily for birthing mothers but also highlights the incredible individual allies they found in nurses, surgeons, and their lawyer. He also shares some of the people and groups whose support guided him and Nick. This is a story of fierce advocacy and the profound love that carried this whānau through. This is a longer episode and it deserves to be. It’s the extraordinary origin story of a beautiful young boy wrapped up in some pretty remarkable love.Resources:Imperfect Parents: The parenting group John mentions that provided a supportive space for their whānau. Super inclusive of different family types and run by the incredible Sophie Moskowitz. https://www.imperfectparents.co.nz/Stewart Dalley: The legal support John and Nick used for their surrogacy and adoption process. Stewart is a lawyer who specialises in surrogacy and has three children of his own by surrogacy. https://www.dslaw.nz/familyformation/ Empwr: Rainbow-inclusive antenatal classes which provide affirming and supportive pregnancy education. empwrbirth.com. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will be Glad that You Did) by Philippa Perry. Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family-building story you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 12/2/25 | Emily: An egg donor's perspective | This week on Proud Conception, we hear from Emily, an egg donor who felt called to action after stumbling across a Facebook post from a queer couple hoping to become parents. What began as a moment of curiosity quickly grew into a heartfelt commitment to support another whānau’s dream of having a child.In this kōrero, Emily shares the full arc of her donation journey: how she connected with the intended parents, the counselling process she and her husband worked through, the boundaries they discussed as a family, and what the medical side of egg retrieval was actually like. She also reflects on how she thinks about her connection to any potential child born from her donation, and how she’s choosing to stay open to whatever emotions might arise in the future.At the time of our conversation, Emily’s eggs had been successfully retrieved and fertilised, and the intended parents now have embryos waiting on ice, ready for the right moment for their gestational surrogate to begin her own process. Emily speaks with deep emotion about imagining them one day holding their baby, just as she’s held her own children.This is an honest and grounded look into what egg donation can mean, not just medically, but emotionally and relationally. Emily’s story highlights the immense generosity behind gamete donation and offers valuable insights for anyone considering taking this path.Apologies for a bit of feedback on the sound quality on this episode! I’m still working on my tech skills 🙂Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family-building story you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 11/17/25 | Olivia: Two mums, unknown clinic donor, IUI, cultural connection, and pivoting through false starts | This week on Proud Conception, we meet Olivia, wife to Karen and mama to four-year-old Rafael. Their path to parenthood took many turns: from working with Oranga Tamariki to potentially care for a relative’s child, to trying at-home inseminations with a personal sperm donor, and finally to conceiving Rafael through IUI with an unknown clinic donor.Olivia shares candidly about the heartbreaks and lessons along the way including the generosity of a friend who offered to be their donor, the grief when that plan changed, and the long wait on the donor list that ultimately led them to matching with a Filipino donor who beautifully reflected Karen’s heritage. Together, they’ve built a family culture that honours both their backgrounds and shared traditions into everyday life.We also talk about navigating fertility clinic systems, the quirks of counselling requirements, inclusive midwifery care, and finding representation in children’s books (including one very special Canadian connection that felt meant to be). Olivia’s story is warm, grounded, and full of wisdom for those just starting their own journey to queer parenthood.Resources:You Came from My Heart by Brenlee Coates and illustrated by Roberta Landreth https://www.youcamefrommyheart.com/ Inclusion through Difference, a nationwide survey of Rainbow Families in Aotearoa: https://vuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7OPvyWEj8lLTSrc Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. If you have a family-building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 11/3/25 | Expert Dr. Olivia Stuart: Queer family building using a fertility clinic, a primer | This week, I’m thrilled to share our second expert episode with the incredible Dr. Olivia Stuart of Fertility Associates. Olivia is a gynaecologist, obstetrician, and fertility subspecialist meaning she can walk alongside individuals and couples from their initial fertility consultations through to the birth of their pēpi. Olivia came highly recommended by so many of you in the rainbow parenting community, and it’s easy to see why. She’s a compassionate, highly skilled, thoughtful healthcare provider and I was genuinely so chuffed that she agreed to come on to the podcast. With so much ground to cover, it was tricky to figure out where to even start this conversation with Olivia! So what we’ve recorded is a bit of a primer; a 101 on family building options using a fertility clinic. Olivia talks through common terms and procedures like IUI, IVF and ICSI, and discusses things like attrition during the IVF and ICSI processes and what sort of factors might lead her to advise one procedure over another. We then talked about how gamete donation - so sperm and egg donation - at the clinic works and what factors are at play in that matching process. Now, a confession and an apology! Olivia and I talked for nearly an hour but as we got to the last question, my technology failed me, and I sadly lost part of our recording (devastating!). I’m so sorry! If you were under any illusion that this is a well-oiled, commercial machine, I’m sure that is now well and truly shattered. Despite losing the last few minutes, the 43ish minutes I did capture with Olivia are gold. So please enjoy this intimate conversation with a respected fertility expert who works a lot with queer couples from our community. If you enjoy this chat and want more expert conversations like it, please let me know via Instagram or email at proudconception@gmail.com. Your feedback helps me show guests why these conversations matter and there was so much to cover with Olivia that I would love to have her back (with better tech!) and input from you could help make that happen. So please, get in touch with feedback and requests for additional topics. You can learn more about Olivia and her practice at www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/team/dr-olivia-stuart And as always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com. | — | ||||||
| 10/7/25 | Laura: A gestational surrogate's perspective | This week’s episode features Laura, a two-time gestational surrogate with a powerful story and a big heart. Laura has carried a pregnancy before for two gay dads and is now five weeks pregnant again with surrogate pēpi number two for a different set of dads, former MP and broadcaster Tamati Coffey and his partner Tim.Many folks in the LGBTQ+ community are just missing one vital piece of the biological puzzle for reproducing — a uterus! So gestational surrogates like Laura play an incredibly important role in helping others grow their whānau.In this kōrero, Laura shares openly about her two surrogacy journeys and what inspired her to carry for others, the difference between gestational and traditional surrogacy, how surrogacy works legally in Aotearoa, including the ECART process and the involvement of Oranga Tamariki, the financial realities of surrogacy, her relationships with the intended parents and the importance of ongoing connection, and her advice for anyone looking for a surrogate to help grow their whānau.Resources:You can follow Laura’s journey on Instagram @theirbabymybody and Tamati Coffey (who Laura is carrying this pēpi for) is also sharing some updates on his Instagram @tamaticoffey.Laura also mentions some Facebook groups she facilitates for surrogates and intended parents in NZ. You can join them by searching for “New Zealand Surrogate Support” and “New Zealand Intended Parents (via surrogacy) Support” on Facebook. Love Makes a Family is a website where surrogates, gamete donors and intended parents can match up and support one another. You can find out more at https://lovemakes.family/Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. If you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach Rachael via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com | — | ||||||
| 9/17/25 | Tayla: Two mums, Facebook donor, at-home insemination & the low maintenance way to have a baby | This week’s guest slid into my DMs and boy am I glad she did! Tayla, fiancé to Jess and mummy to 3-year-old Angus, is raw, real and so relatable. In this episode, she takes us through the step-by-step of at-home insemination with hilarious detail and finding their sperm donor through a Facebook donation group; an approach she jokingly calls the “low maintenance way to have a baby.”She shares the rollercoaster of responses she received when reaching out for donor sperm in those groups (from the weird to the outright offensive) and the immense gratitude she felt when their family-building journey finally fell into place. She’s candid about how she and Jess chose their donor, their ongoing relationship with him, and how she imagines Angus’ connection with him evolving in the future - drawing on her own experience of meeting her dad as a young adult. Tayla is funny, candid, and refreshingly down-to-earth. You’ll love this kōrero.Tayla also talks about the at-home insemination kit from Hāpu Helpers that she and Jess used to conceive (after ordinary syringes weren’t up to the task!). You can learn more about these kits here: https://hapuhelpers.co.nz/ Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing proudconception@gmail.com | — | ||||||
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| 7/10/25 | Jess: Two mums, gender transition, infertility & building a rainbow community | Welcome to Proud Conception! In this inaugural episode, we hear from Jess — a cis woman from Australia now living in Aotearoa with her wife Lauren, a trans woman, and their two boys.Jess shares their journey through infertility, IVF, and cross-border conception. She shares about navigating Lauren’s gender transition alongside their family-building plans, how they talk to their kids about identity and origin, and the joys of parenting as a two-mum family. Jess offers heartfelt advice for future LGBTQ+ parents, emphasising love and acceptance in family life.Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and head over to Instagram to join the conversation @ProudConceptionPod. | — | ||||||
| 7/9/25 | Trailer | Welcome to Proud Conception | Welcome to Proud Conception, a podcast that explores the diverse parenthood journeys of LGBTQ+ families. Hosted by Rachael Gresson, each episode dives into real stories of parenthood, focusing on the lived experiences of queer parents as they navigate the path to building their families. Keep listening for the expert interviews as well where we hear from the people supporting these paths to parenthood. This podcast is about giving voice to the many ways LGBTQ+ families come to be and creating a world where our little ones feel seen, safe, and proud. Thanks for listening - we're so glad you're here. | — | ||||||
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