Proudly on Record

Writer and podcaster DL Mayfield (they/them) joins us to unpack the deep harms of religious authoritarian parenting and the legacy of evangelical culture in America. DL grew up as a homeschooled pastor's kid, deeply immersed in end-times theology and evangelical purity culture. As a late-diagnosed autistic, non-binary parent, they share how reading, parenthood, and listening to their own kids ultimately led them out of the faith and into the work of helping others heal from religious authoritarian upbringings through their project, Strong Willed.We dig into the legacy of James Dobson and how his bestselling parenting books shaped generations of American families through ritualized corporal punishment disguised as godly love. DL makes a chilling case for how breaking a child's "strong will" doesn't just damage them in the moment, it severs their connection to their own inner knowing, setting them up for a lifetime of exploitation by abusers, employers, toxic relationships, and authoritarian systems.In this episode, we cover:Growing up evangelical, homeschooled, and convinced the world was endingHow James Dobson's parenting books shaped generations of American familiesWhy religious authoritarian parenting is a form of ritualized abuseThe connection between corporal punishment, fascism, and authoritarianismHow purity culture created safe havens for predators in the churchThe disturbing overlap between evangelical parenting methods and child sexual abuseHow disconnecting kids from their "strong will" makes them vulnerable for lifeReparenting yourself, honoring your inner child, and finding joy after religious traumaComing out as non-binary at 38 and going no-contact with familyWhy protecting children is the foundation of resisting fascismWhether you're deconstructing, healing from religious trauma, parenting differently than you were parented, or just trying to understand how American evangelicalism got us here, this episode is a vital listen.Find DL Mayfield:strongwilledproject.comStrongwilled Podcast@dlmayfield on Instagram & Threads

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Tanya Johnson (she/her), licensed mental health counselor, clinical supervisor, and counseling professor, for a deep dive into the psychology of religious trauma and high-control groups.Dr. Johnson breaks down exactly how high-control religions use behavioral, emotional, thought, and information control to keep members compliant and disconnected from their own instincts. In this episode we cover:Why religious trauma is so hard to recognize and why we minimize itThe BITE model and how cults control every aspect of your inner worldHow high-control groups train you to interpret your emotions through their lensWhy anger is repressed in religious spaces and what that costs youThe connection between the fawn response and religious conditioningWhy neurodivergent people can have a unique relationship with high-control groupsHow to talk to loved ones who are still inside a high-control religionWhy leaving religion can feel like losing your identity and map for realityReclaiming your inner authority and learning to trust yourself againThe martyrdom complex and how it follows you out of the churchWhy doing it scared is the only way through conditioned guilt and fearDr. Johnson also shares resources for finding religious trauma informed therapists and her own courses for both clients and therapists in training.

Biconic breaks down what it means to be an AFAB (assigned female at birth) drag queen in a space historically dominated by AMAB (assigned male at birth) performers, how she built her drag persona inspired by Ursula, and why she chose drag queen over drag king.We talk about Texas's SB12 "drag ban", what it actually says, why it's deliberately vague, and how it's creating a climate of fear for performers and small businesses alike. Biconic shares what it's like to perform on the front lines of this legislation and why pre-complying with oppression is never the answer.We also get personal, from growing up as a military brat across 13 countries and 44 states, to knowing she was bisexual since kindergarten, to being closeted through a private Christian school and finally coming out at 18. Plus her wildest drag moments including sneaking through the streets of Dublin in a purple wig and asking Trixie Mattel and George Takei the closing question at an LA Pride panel.This episode is a love letter to queer joy, community organizing, and drag as political defiance.Topics Covered:What it means to be a sapphic/AFAB drag queenTexas SB12 drag ban explainedBisexual erasure and coming out later in lifeDrag as political resistance and queer historyBuilding community in hostile political climatesHow drag healing and queer joy are acts of defianceFind Biconic:Instagram: TheBiconicFacebook: Biconic Bi Icon

A. Elise Joy joins Proudly on Record to talk about growing up queer in Alabama, surviving Mormon purity culture, and finding a lesbian awakening through The L Word. The conversation also dives into Mormon purity culture, religious trauma, and deconstruction. Elise opens up about converting to Mormonism as a teenager, the shame and depression that followed church discipline around premarital sex, and the long process of leaving harmful theology behind. From there, the episode explores queer identity, healing after spiritual abuse, rebuilding a relationship with a supportive but complicated parent, and learning to trust yourself after years of being taught not to.

In this episode of Proudly On Record, we sit down with Jess Grace Garcia, a queer Christian, polyamorous community builder, and co-host of Queer Consciousness, to talk about what its like being a trans-queer-poly pastor.Jess shares their journey growing up in an evangelical, cult-like church environment and what it took to deconstruct those beliefs while still holding onto spirituality. We dive into what it means to be both queer and Christian, how polyamory can exist outside of harmful relationship hierarchies, and why building intentional queer community is so important for healing.From navigating purity culture and religious trauma to creating spaces like Queer Fire, this conversation explores how we can redefine faith, relationships, and belonging.We also talk about:What polyamory actually looks like in practice (and what people get wrong)The difference between hierarchical vs non-hierarchical relationshipsDeconstructing evangelicalism and purity cultureQueer spirituality and redefining ChristianityReligious trauma and healing through communityBuilding safe, inclusive spaces for queer and questioning peopleFollow Jess Grace Garcia:Instagram, TikTok, and more: linktr.ee/jessgracegarciaQueer Fire LA: @queerfirelaQueer Consciousness Podcast: @_queer.consciousness

In this episode of Proudly On Record, we continue our conversation with disability advocate, nurse, and creator Ryann “Ry” Mason (Chronically_Ry). Ry shares what it is like living with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects collagen throughout the body and can cause joint dislocations, chronic pain, fatigue, and mobility challenges.Ry talks about growing up hypermobile, becoming an ER nurse and dancer, and eventually transitioning to using mobility aids and a wheelchair after her body could no longer safely sustain the physical demands of her career. She opens up about the emotional process of losing mobility, learning to ask for help, and redefining identity through disability.Throughout the conversation, Ry also dives into disability advocacy, accessibility barriers, and the realities of navigating healthcare and insurance systems as a disabled person. From the difficulty of obtaining properly fitted wheelchairs to misconceptions about wheelchair users and ambulatory disability, Ry explains how much of the world is still built without disabled people in mind.The conversation also explores important topics like disability etiquette, accessibility in public spaces, disability representation in media, and why community is essential for people navigating progressive or degenerative conditions. Ry shares practical advice for able-bodied allies who want to support accessibility and inclusion, along with encouragement for anyone learning to live with a disability.Follow Ryann Mason:Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @chronically_ryKeywords:Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, EDS, Ryann Mason, Chronically Ry, disability advocacy, wheelchair user, ambulatory wheelchair user, chronic illness, hypermobile EDS, disability awareness, accessibility, disability rights, healthcare accessibility, chronic pain, disability community, disability representation, living with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, invisible disability, mobility aids

Remmy (he/him) joins Proudly on Record to share a powerful story of leaving Evangelical/Southern Baptist Christianity, coming out as trans, and finding freedom through secular witchcraft and atheism. Remmy explains what it means to be a secular witch working with energy and intention rather than deities while unpacking the fear-based teachings of the church which includes anti-LGBTQ sermons, purity culture gender roles, rapture/Left Behind anxiety, and “Hell House” scare tactics.Remmy also talks candidly about living with Tourette’s syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, the damage caused by being told to “pray it away,” and the reality of medical gaslighting and misdiagnosis in a small-town Bible Belt environment. The conversation centers on chosen family, going no contact for safety when boundaries are ignored, and the healing that comes from finally getting accurate diagnoses, supportive community, and language for your identity. Remmy ends with a message to his younger self: your involuntary movements and words are not your fault and you deserve care, safety, and peace.

Joy (she/her) joins us to talk about growing up as a Jehovah’s Witnesses in Appalachia and what happens when a high-control religion isolates you from community, culture, and even your own instincts.We dig into disfellowshipping, apostacy, and other dirty little Jehovah's Witness secrets. We also talk about bisexuality, religious stigma, family rupture, and what it looks like to stop performing a relationship with a parent who doesn't accept you.Finally, Joy reflects on reclaiming Appalachia and the long work of unlearning white supremacy and Christian nationalism while still loving the mountains that formed you.

This episode is for anyone learning safety after survival.In Part 3 of our relationship mini-series, we talk honestly about something people don’t warn you about enough: healthy relationships can be deeply triggering, not because they’re wrong, but because they’re safe.When your nervous system has been wired for chaos, peace can feel unsettling. In this conversation, we unpack what it actually looks like to build safety after survival, especially when anxious and avoidant attachment styles collide.We talk about:Why “boring” can actually mean regulatedAnxious vs avoidant attachment in real-life conflictHow space + time limits changed the way we fightWhy conflict can build trust instead of destroying itLearning to feel “held but free” in a secure relationshipThis isn’t about perfection or doing relationships right.It’s about repair, self-awareness, and learning how to stay present when your body wants to panic, flee, or fix everything immediately.If conflict makes your whole system shut down…If safety feels unfamiliar…If you’re healing while still very much human, this episode is for you.We’d love to hear from you:What’s your attachment style? How do you handle conflict?Share your experience in the comments.

We sit down with Shelly Ayers who is a high school counselor, Appalachian writer, and “true mountain child” from Stinking Creek, Tennessee (yes, it’s real). Shelly talks about the deep pull of Appalachia: the clan-like ties to land and kin, the pressure to protect your people, and what it means to tell your truth.Together, we unpack growing up Pentecostal and all the shouting, speaking in tongues, fear of hell, and lingering “spiritual warfare” wiring that can take years to unlearn. Shelly shares how queerness and deconstruction were inseparable for her: the early prayers not to be gay, the church roles she slowly stepped away from, the years of healing work, and the hard-earned peace of building a life rooted in love instead of fear. We also talk about code-switching accents, chosen family, staying vs. leaving the mountains, and how community can be found anywhere—church pews, bar regulars, tattoo shops, and the people who become home.If you've ever loved your roots and had to leave to survive...this one's for you.

In this Holy Homo Hangout Hour, Kari and Elise continue their relationship mini-series by diving into toxic relationships, especially the subtle, covert kind that makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. They unpack love bombing, hidden emotional manipulation, and the “small” comments and behaviors that slowly chip away at your confidence (until you’re monitoring moods, walking on eggshells, and blaming yourself for everything).They also talk about why toxic dynamics can feel addictive, how religious conditioning (forgiveness without change, not trusting your gut, “unconditional love”) can keep people stuck, and the big takeaway: when you’re in survival mode, you can’t be your best partner because you’re surviving. This episode focuses on the toxic patterns and the red flags; the healing + safe relationship conversation is coming in the final installment.

In their very first Holy Homo Hangout Hour, Kari and Elise finally hit record on the conversations they usually have after the podcast ends. This time, they are talking about first queer relationships, especially when those firsts happen later in life.They unpack puppy love that shows up “late,” why lesbians get stereotyped for U-hauling, secret first loves that never got closure, and the messy overlap of best-friend love and romantic love. They also talk about the particular grief of breakups shaped by internalized homophobia, compulsive heteronormativity, and religious trauma, and what it means to grieve years later when you finally feel safe.Join the conversation: What did you learn from your first queer relationship? Share your story in the comments or in our DMs on Instagram at @holyhomohealinghour.

TW: Purity cultureIn this episode, we sit down with Mary B. (she/her) who is a New York City–based speaker, author, and host of the Found Family podcast. Mary B. traces her winding spiritual journey: from small-town Episcopal and Methodist pews, through Young Life and the World Race, into the soft patriarchy of “reasonable” evangelical spaces where certainty felt safer than questions.Together we talk about purity culture, sexual shame, and the quiet “gay panic” of Subarus, flannels, and sapphic movie scenes that slowly cracked open her understanding of herself as bi. Mary B. shares how therapy, queer friends, and a growing disconnect with non-affirming theology eventually led her to walk away from a church she’d poured years into—and toward Pride, queer Bible study, and a faith that actually makes room for her full self.We also get into people-pleasing, spiritual authority, and the moment she realized that the men on stage are not the voice of God—they’re just dudes. This is a story about found family, sacred queer spaces, grief, and the deep relief of finally letting the “sleeping bear” of your sexuality wake up.