Rethinking Communication

This episode's content comes from a webinar I delivered earlier this year titled, "You Want Me To Talk To Them? How To Communicate With People You Disagree With." In this presentation, I walk through what we get wrong about conflict communication and how conversations get stuck. I also cover a new way to approach uncomfortable conversations, my ASK then SEE method, which can help us lower the temperature of heated discussions. Looking for a presenter or keynote speaker at your next event? Learn more about my speaking at https://michaelashford.com/speaking.

We've been taught that when faced with disagreement, once you get a chance to speak, go on the offensive and don't back down. However, one conversation I had recently revealed a far better and more productive approach — one that emphasizes asking questions beyond the point of your own comfort.

Speaking coach Neil Gordon joins the podcast to recount how school "educated me out of an interest in reading and communication," and his journey back to a love of both. Neil specializes in persuasion and helping speakers create more compelling narratives in their stories. Out of that work, Neil says, a path to ward off pessimism and skepticism emerges. Check out A Prayer for Owen Meany, the book Neil references in this conversation, at https://www.amazon.com/Prayer-Owen-Meany-John-Irving/dp/006220422X To learn more about Neil's work, visit https://neilcanhelp.com/

In this episode, I speak with Mischa Zvegintzov about his journey to sobriety at 17 years old and how getting in touch with his emotions and his curiosity fueled a new approach to relationships with others. Check out Mischa's work at https://www.theinfluencearmy.com/.

Rich Harwood, President and Founder of The Harwood Institute, joins me on this episode. Over the past 35+ years, Rich has used his philosophy and practice of how community leaders can solve shared problems and deepen people's civic belief worldwide to tackle some of the most deeply divisive issues. As Rich explains, we need a better way to communicate through change, where we get out of the cul-de-sac of toxicity and step into our shared narratives of being builders, creators, and producers. Rich's philosophy is grounded in what he views as an important prerequisite for change: finding a way to see more than what you want to see or are willing to see. Watch the PBS Newshour feature that showcased Rich's work in North Carolina: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/how-a-north-carolina-community-is-confronting-divisions-talking-through-its-differences Learn more about the Harwood Institute at https://theharwoodinstitute.org/

Aden Nepom helps people build better habits around communication and collaboration to experience more joy in their work through her work with her company, Art of Change. The feeling of joy as a conversational outcome is an interesting one, and Aden defines that joy as wholeness, excitement, and a sense of goodness in oneself. As Aden describes, change requires experiencing it, and grief is a natural part of letting go of past expectations. Assumptions, fear, and joy often intersect in communication, and assuming positive intent and effective communication can drive positive change in the workplace. Aden encourages self-awareness, asking for what you need and want, and avoiding polarizing communication, as relational conversations and collaboration are key to fostering joy and satisfaction in work and in our personal relationships. Check out Aden's work at https://www.artofchange.com/ and connect with her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/adennepom/.

Tim Wenzel is back on the show to discuss his book, "The Kindness Games," which he co-authored with Lee Oughton. Tim was my guest in episode 104, where he shared how the original idea of The Kindness Games came about. Now that the book is out, Tim shares what went into writing it, the lessons learned, the stories highlighted, and his hope for the message. Perhaps most importantly, Tim wants us to know that kindness has a power all unto its own, with the ability to break down systems of control. Order "The Kindness Games" at https://www.amazon.com/Kindness-Games-Changed-Mindset-Community/dp/194578332X/ref=sr_1_2. Connect with Tim's work at https://thekindnessgames.com/.