Dougal Sutherland: The psychology of ghosting and the "intention–behaviour gap"

Dougal Sutherland: The psychology of ghosting and the "intention–behaviour gap"

From Saturday Morning with Jack Tame by Newstalk ZB

June 13, 2026 · 9 min

About this episode

Dougal Sutherland discusses the psychology behind ghosting and the intention-behaviour gap.

One of the most robust findings in psychology is that people often form genuine intentions but fail to translate them into action – it’s called the intention–behaviour gap. Someone may sincerely think, “Yes, I’d like that furniture and I’ll pick it up,” but when the time comes, competing demands, forgetfulness, inconvenience, or loss of motivation prevent follow-through.     People frequently overestimate what their future selves will be willing or able to do. At the moment of expressing interest, the furniture may have seemed useful and easy to collect. Later, when the pickup time approached, the immediate costs (travel, arranging transport, giving up free time) became more important than the future benefit of owning the item.   In this case the person may genuinely have wanted the item when they contacted you but later discovered that collecting it required more effort than anticipated. They may also have been less committed to picking up the item simply because it was free, so they had very little investment in following-through.   The “stopped replying” part is interesting because it suggests more than simple forgetfulness.   Research on ghosting…

People in this episode

Host: Jack Tame

Guest: Dougal Sutherland

Topics covered

  • psychology
  • ghosting
  • intention-behaviour gap
  • communication
  • relationships

Keywords

  • ghosting
  • intention-behaviour gap
  • psychology
  • communication
  • relationships
  • conflict avoidance
  • motivation

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Newstalk ZB

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