Secrets of a Sober Mom

Few things can put a strain on marriage more than when one person is struggling with alcoholism. It can shake the foundation of trust and put the entire family in jeopardy. In marriages where one partner struggles with alcoholism, the non-addicted spouse carries the responsibility for two people, including care of the children both emotionally and physically. The need to support and find appropriate treatment for the addicted loved one becomes overwhelming, frustrating, and terrifying. The quality of a marriage depends greatly upon the way we communicate with each other. It depends not only on what we say but how we say it; not only on what we do but our motives for doing it. When partners in a marriage are held together by a bond of love, mutual respect, and a desire to please and comfort, communication naturally falls into patterns that express these feelings and give both husband and wife confidence in each other and a sense of security and mutual dependence. When a relationship is distorted by an unbalanced dependence, or by suspicion, hostility, excessive demands, and expectations, these flaws are exacerbated by alcohol and can make marriage impossible to sustain In this episode, Vanessa and I talk very candidly about the role alcohol played in our marriage, dating, and sex life and how our spouses ultimately became the victims of our disease.

Vanessa and I talk about how the holidays can be a painful time for alcoholics and their families. The memories of years past—sometimes more like nightmares—can induce fear and stress. We may feel resentful that we cannot drink like "a normal person and these resentments may make us and our families anything but happy to be together. We discuss setting realistic expectations for ourselves as other people in our lives probably haven't changed, and many of the conflicts that crop up at family reunions will doubtless crop up again. Accept it, roll with the punches, and rein in the urge to manipulate everything and everyone. It will be enough for you to take care of and control yourself. Lastly, we discuss how we let gratitude carry us and we were able to give the holidays a deeper meaning. It wasn't easy but a powerful step in sobriety- we are celebrating a new, better, and sober life that we have created.

We are looking forward to a fabulous season 2! Please help us kick-off the season with a zoom meeting. This is a great way to get to know us and learn about the podcast if you have never tuned in. The Zoom Meeting can be found here: Time: Nov 9, 2020 08:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada) https://us05web.zoom.us/j/81613160508?pwd=REpXMmlOcTZWeTZKMHU3RVg5TWNXdz09 Meeting ID: 849 6472 8399 Passcode: 72U2sj Follow me on Social Media: Leslie Shapiro on Facebook, leslieshapiro_ on Instagram. If you have five minutes, five hours, five days, five years, or if you are just sober curious, please join us. I know what it feels like to be chained to the bottle. I know what it feels like to be terrified to continue drinking but also be terrified to stop. I promise, there is a solution. Looking forward to meeting everyone next Monday at 8 pm!

In this episode, I go down memory lane with my very first young love Gregg. We reminisce about how we were both such straight-arrow kids, the fun we had as adolescents in love and how we lost touch for decades, and how we reconnected as recovering addicts. Gregg shares his story about being a big wig on Wall Street to losing it all. Like so many of us, Gregg was given the desperation and decided to turn hods life around for his young daughter. Through the help of a 12 step program, loving friends and family, He now is living a wonderful life of recovery and proudly shares his story to help others who are struggling.

Amy Dresner is a journalist, author, and former comedian as well as a recovering addict and alcoholic. She has been a columnist for the addiction/recovery magazine TheFix.com since 2012 and has freelanced for addiction.com, Psychology Today, Vice, and many other publications. In this episode, Amy and I touch on many topics including service to others, recognizing that there are many paths to recovery and of course her wildly funny and poignant book, My Fair Junkie: A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean. Amy talks openly and honestly and about her 20 year battle with sex, drugs and alcohol addiction, and what happens when she finally emerges on the other side. Catch her new Podcast Rehab Confidential-You will learn and laugh until your ribs hurt.

My dad passed away before I got sober. I will regret that for the rest of my life. Fortunately, he wasn't alive to see descend into a life of hell. I honestly don't think he could handle seeing his daughter slowly kill herself. I was lucky to have a wonderful father. I know many didn't get that chance. He always told me the world was mine to grab by the ass. I wish he knew that's exactly how I'm living today. Maybe he does know. As alcoholics, we hurt those closest to us. They become the recipients of our destruction and punch them hardest because they relentlessly try and save us. We are the best and worst of our parents. I can live with that.

In this episode, I speak with a man who is so generous with his heart and mind. He shares his story and explains how alcoholism has shaped his role as a Dad, a husband, a son, and a friend. There is no "mansplaining" here . This guy is a straight shooter . "I just sucked at drinking," he said. He talks about a moment of clarity and why alcohol As a coping mechanism was no longer an option. Like many of us who know we had to get sober, he played a trust game with the universe. He fell back and he was caught .

Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can't pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while. Amy defines true friendship. During active addiction, we pulverize all relationships. We don't intend to do this, but sadly, it's a consequence of our drinking. In this episode Amy and I talk about some of the darkest times in my life. How she watched her friend slowly kill herself, destroy her family, and isolate everyone around her. She explains how she learned to be a friend to an alcoholic and what gave her the strength to stand by me. Amy was a part of my recovery and continues to be a part of my sobriety. I am beyond lucky to have her in my life.

In this episode, I talk with harm reductionist, Julie Stampler. Julie works passionately to support communities affected by substance abuse disorder and is dedicated to helping addicts stay alive. Substance abuse has touched Julie's life in several ways. Her brother tragically died of a heroin overdose and her stepfather Jack Fishman created naloxone, the drug used to reverse the effects of an opioid overdose. Her dedication to the opioid crisis in the United States has saved many lives. Learn more about Harm reduction, and you too can help save a life. We all know someone who is affected by drug addiction. Follow Julie on Instagram and Facebook.

In this episode, I talk with author, speaker, recovery coach, and mom Emily Paulson about the untrue stories we tell on social media and how liberating it is to finally reveal the uncut story of our lives. Emily tells us her story and how she used her platform in her business to help and empower other women. Emily wrote the book "Highlight Real: Finding Honesty and Recovery Beyond the Filtered Life" Her website is emilylynnpaulson.com. If you or someone you know needs help at this very minute please call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) you don't have to feel like this anymore.

In this episode, my oldest son Max speaks candidly and bravely about what it was like living in with an alcoholic mom. He shares some of the painful and humiliating experiences he endured and explains how he coped with this difficult time in his life. Most importantly, he shares what he has learned and how important it is for him to try and help others who might be in a similar situation. This is a very special episode that reinforces my gratitude. I am the luckiest mom in the world. If you or someone you know needs help at this very minute please call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) you don't have to feel like this anymore.