Sell By Being Human

What if the biggest obstacle standing between you and success isn't a lack of skill, talent, or opportunity but a story you've been telling yourself for years?In this episode of Sell by Being Human, Alex Smith sits down with Coach Monique DeMonaco, founder of EQ Wize, emotional intelligence expert, executive coach, and author of Most People Don't Need a Therapist, They Just Need Change. With more than two decades of experience helping leaders, teams, and individuals develop emotional intelligence, Monique has built a career around one powerful idea: awareness changes everything.But her journey began far from boardrooms and leadership retreats. Raised in rural poverty by parents struggling with mental illness, Monique spent much of her childhood believing she wasn't smart enough, capable enough, or destined for more. Diagnosed at fifteen with learning disabilities and epilepsy after years of being misunderstood, she faced a choice that would shape the rest of her life: accept the limitations others placed on her or begin questioning them.Monique shares the deeply personal story of how a single shift in self-awareness transformed her future, eventually leading her to become the first person in her family to graduate from college and build a thriving coaching practice. Along the way, she discovered that most behaviors people want to change aren't the real problem; they're coping mechanisms hiding deeper fears, beliefs, and emotional patterns.From overcoming self-doubt to helping leaders navigate change, Monique explains why emotional intelligence is one of the most valuable skills anyone can develop. Whether you're leading a company, building a business, raising a family, or simply trying to become a better version of yourself, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that growth starts with understanding yourself first.Because before you can influence others, you have to learn how to believe in your own potential.Key TakeawaysSelf-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence and lasting personal growthMany behaviors people want to change are symptoms of deeper emotional patternsResilience allows people to separate failure from their identityMost people are far more capable than they believe themselves to beAsking thoughtful questions creates more change than giving adviceEmotional intelligence helps people understand both themselves and others more effectivelyConnection is built through curiosity, empathy, and understandingPeople are always selling themselves through relationships, communication, and influenceStories and emotions create stronger connections than facts alonePersonal growth is a lifelong process, regardless of success or achievementConfidence grows through awareness, not perfectionThe most meaningful change begins when people challenge the beliefs they've inherited about themselves In This Episode:[00:00] Intro[01:14] Meet Coach Monique DeMonaco[02:22] What “sell by being human” means to Monique[03:33] Building connections through authentic relationships[05:17] Why emotional intelligence became her life’s work[06:27] Growing up with learning disabilities, epilepsy, and self-doubt[08:30] Discovering the Silva Method and the power of self-awareness[09:59] Turning personal transformation into a coaching career[11:53] Why awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence[13:11] Resilience, identity, and overcoming limiting beliefs[14:50] The moment Monique began seeing herself differently[16:08] Being told she would never go to college[17:35] Becoming the first person in her family to graduate[19:12] Emotional intelligence as a tool for creating change[21:01] Understanding the emotions behind behavior[23:39] Why questions are more powerful than advice[24:53] Uncovering the hidden causes of problem behaviors[28:25] How emotionally intelligent selling creates trust[30:30] Why stories are more persuasive than statistics[31:58] Practical ways to strengthen emotional intelligence[33:34] Lifelong learning and self-awareness practices[35:08] Using past successes to build confidence[36:58] Sales, influence, and human connection[39:34] Why people often underestimate themselves[42:10] Raising children across two generations[43:07] What Gen Z is teaching leaders about communication[45:13] Why most people are better than they think they are[47:11] Imposter syndrome at every level of success[48:10] Where to find Coach Monique and EQ Wize[49:20] Closing Our GuestCoach Monique DeMonaco is the founder of EQ Wize, an education and training startup delivering emotional intelligence and brain science-based education. With over 20 years of experience as an internationally trained life, executive, and career coach, she has helped individuals, teams, and leaders develop core emotional intelligence skills including self-awareness, resilience, and critical thinking. She is also the author of Most People Don't Need a Therapist, They Just Need Change: An Easy Guide for Positive Sustainable Change.Monique's personal journey from rural poverty to coaching celebrities, professional athletes, and executives gives her a unique perspective on human potential. She believes that with the right tools and awareness, anyone can create meaningful change in their life and career.Resources and LinksSell by Being HumanLinkCoach Monique DeMonacoLinkedInEQ WizeBook: Most People Don't Need a Therapist, They Just Need ChangeAlex SmithWebsiteLinkedIn

Summary:Today I bring on Kevin Yates, known as the L&D Detective, to explore the intersection of authenticity, resilience, and effective learning and development practices. I knew that I needed to talk to Kevin after seeing him present at our conference. He was able to connect with the crowd in a unique way with his engaging talk and also shared inisghts of how he sold big ideas in previous roles by focusing on business performance and human performance.Kevin shares insights on how to he sells by being human as a speaker, emphasizing the importance of authenticity in engagement. His. method of speaking is to really immerse his audience within a problem and take them on a journey. You'll learn how Kevin crafts his speaking frameworks to take people on a journey and you'll also get insights on how he would get really big initiatives done by focusing on business outcomes.Kevin has had to gain influene with business leaders, executives, and now with audiences. You'll leave with takeaways on how he's done that in his career and how you can apply it to your own situations where influence needs to be built.Key Moments:00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest02:33 The Essence of Selling by Being Human07:23 Authenticity in Sales and Learning Development11:19 The Responsibility of Sharing Knowledge15:37 Lessons from Ella Yates: Resilience19:48 Understanding the L&D Detective Brand26:23 The Essence of Collaborative Selling29:33 Creating Experiential Learning Opportunities32:59 Democratizing Access to Learning Resources35:56 Defining Impact in Learning and Development40:17 Shifting Mindsets in L&D42:42 Performance Consulting vs. Traditional Training ConversationsConnect with KevinLinkedINConnect with Us!LinkedIN: YoutubeWebsite:

Summary:Today's episode is with Stephen Steers, a sales consultant, keynote speaker and author. We explore the art of storytelling in sales. Not how to tell your story but how to help people tell a better version of their own story. When you can help someone better understand themselves and through your interaction you better understand them., that's where magic happens.Stephen has come through the ranks of sales as a business development rep an account executive, and now owns his own sales consultancy business around how to tell effective stories as part of a sales process.We discuss how human connection, story telling, and emotional intelligence can transform the sales process, moving away from traditional pushy sales tactics to a more empathetic approach. Stephen shares his personal journey with storytelling, the importance of understanding client needs, and effective questioning techniques to foster genuine conversations. The episode emphasizes the significance of emotional responses in decision-making and how to leverage personal stories to build trust and rapport with clients.You'll learn how to ask questions to help people tell a better story of their problems. You'll help tell stories in a way that gets people to reframe their own stories, and you'll learn how to build trust through understanding whKey Moments:02:19 Redefining Sales: From Selling to Problem Solving11:43 The Power of Storytelling in Sales - Helpin People Tell Their Stories Better16:49 Learning from Experience: The Journey of a Salesperson21:07 Emotional Connection: The Key to Effective Selling26:02 Building Rapport in Sales Conversations28:52 Effective Questioning Techniques33:51 How to Craft A Better Story in Sales40:50 Humanizing Customer Stories45:51 Finding Authentic ConnectionsConnect with StephenLinkedINWebsiteConnect with Us!LinkedIN: Website:

Summary:Have you ever wondered if or how human connection happens in the military? For someone that's never been in the military like myself, I've often thought the military is about a chain of command and an order structure. That's it. You follow orders or else. Human connection and order seem to be opposing forces. But today's guest says that's not always the case. People get sold on staying or leaving the military by the people they report to. Today I interviewed Enrique Acosta Gonzalez, a leadership expert and former Navy veteran. We discuss the importance of human connection in leadership, the transition from military to civilian leadership, and the significance of building trust and relationships. Enrique shares his experiences in the military, the impact of different leadership styles of his commanding officers, and how authenticity plays a crucial role in effective leadership. We touch on the concept of 'selling by being human' in the military and in his current practice of coaching his clients. This is for you if you've ever wondered how these skills show up in any of these places!Key Moments:00:00 Introduction to Leadership and Human Connection02:56 The Military's Human Element in Leadership06:06 Building Trust and Relationships in Leadership09:07 The Impact of Leadership Styles11:59 Lessons from Military Leadership Experiences15:05 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Leadership20:07 The Importance of Authenticity in Leadership24:00: Selling by Being Human in his current role26:54 Nurturing Relationships for Long-Term Success31:59 Working with Strong-Willed Leaders36:44 Final Thoughts on Leadership and LegacyConnect with Enrique:LinkedINConnect with Us!LinkedIN: Website:

Summary:We've got a force of nature on the program today. She is a 16 year professional athelete. One of only 270 women in history to wear the jersey of the US Womens National Team. She was the first woman in Washingto Spirit history to have her jersey retired. Joanna Lohman played at the pinnacle of her sport and now owns stages where she speaks on leadership, performance, courage and resilience. We speak. Joanna shares her journey from sports to business, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, storytelling, and teamwork. Joanna has a unique perspective on how the art of selling through human connection showed up for her as an athelete and on her teams. ItThose lessons also go to explaining how creating a culture of safety and belonging can build influence on those around you. . Joanna also introduces her concept of 'refiring' after retirement, focusing on the idea of continuing to contribute and impact in new ways. The episode concludes with practical advice on how to connect with others authentically and the importance of self-awareness in building relationships. If you never thought a soccer player was ever in sales, this episode might just prove you wrong. Her value is in how she creates spaces for people to let people be more of themselves and how that skill can some back to you in ways you may never realize.Key Moments:00:00 Introduction to JoAnna Lohman04:09 The Power of Storytelling in Selling07:35 Teamwork and Individual Contributions11:46 Celebrating Uniqueness in Teams20:09 Transitioning from Sports to Business26:18 Harnessing Resilience and Leadership30:15 Chasing Feelings Over Strategies33:52 Authenticity in Leadership and Sales39:57 Creating Safe Spaces for Authenticity42:02 The Three Steps to Authentic ImpactConnect with JoannaLinkedINWebsiteConnect with Us!LinkedIN: Website:

Summary:John Barrows is the CEO of JB Sales, a sales training company focused on elevating the people and profession of Sales. He’s been in Sales his entire life and held every position from making 400 cold calls a week to being the VP of Sales at one of the fastest growing companies in Massachusetts that they eventually sold to Staples and is now the CEO of his own company where he still actively sells every day.John came on the podcast to talk about how to stand out as a human in sales despite the world of AI that we live in. He dives deep on ways to use AI to augment your sales process over automating your sales process. While AI can write some uncanny human like emials, it still can't replace your soul. Or being the "last mile" in how you can humanize your process. We discuss the importance of maximizing meeting efficiency, doing AI research to show someone you respect their time, the human element that will never die in sales, and the impact of AI on the sales process. John also covers common questions that sales people ask that we should remove from our vocabulary completely in the world of AI that we live in. This is a good one gang!Key Takeaways: (using AI)Sales has always been a human-human interaction.AI can enhance sales processes but should not replace human connection.People buy based on emotions and justify with facts.The essence of sales is helping people solve problems.Empathy and curiosity are crucial traits for sales professionals.AI can personalize content but lacks the human touch.Sales is not about convincing but about understanding needs.The 'give a shit' factor is something AI cannot replicate.Automation in sales can lead to a loss of personal connection.Successful sales depend on how you sell, not just what you sell. Maximizing meeting efficiency is crucial for productive conversations.Focus on the client's needs rather than your own agenda.AI can enhance sales processes but cannot replace human empathy.Avoid asking generic questions that waste clients' time.Research is essential before engaging with potential clients.Sales professionals must adapt to AI or risk becoming irrelevant.Custom AI solutions can enhance personal and professional productivity.Authenticity in communication builds trust with clients.Curiosity drives engagement and effective sales conversations.Investing in AI tools is necessary for modern sales success.Connect with JohnLinkedINWebsite:Connect with Us!LinkedIN: Website: Youtube

Summary:Have you ever had someone make a profound impact on your life but you can't really name them? We all have had people that made lasting impacts on us but only for a brief moment in time. We bought into their selflessness so much we even forgot to ask their names.Maybe it's your barista. Maybe its a flight attendant. For Dan, it was the nurses and doctors who saved is life. To make a point that we're all in sales, this episode reminds us how these people don't do what they do for recognition. They do it because it's the right thing to do.Dan Vasquenza is an entrepreneur and nonprofit advocate. He's on the board of Kulture City, a nonprofit that helps venues cater to individuals with sensory inclusive needs. He's also worked for the Atlanta Hawks in corporate partnerships and he's had a long career in sales.We explore Dan's journey from a challenging childhood accident to a successful career in sales, emphasizing the role of empathy, listening, and personal experiences in building relationships. Dan shares insights on the traits of successful salespeople, the impact of role models, and his transition to working with Kulture City, a nonprofit focused on supporting individuals with sensory needs. In this conversation, Dan Vasquez shares his journey of self-discovery and the challenges he faced while building purpose-driven businesses. He discusses the importance of understanding the human side of sales and philanthropy, learning from mistakes, and the value of experiences over material possessions. Dan emphasizes the significance of relationships in both personal and professional settings, and how they contribute to success.You can learn how Dan has brought his unique style of connecting into securing donations for his non-profit and how he's been able to develop close relationships with high profile people.Key Moments:00:00 Introduction to Human Connection in Sales07:15 Learning from Role Models in Sales13:25 Personal Journey and Overcoming Adversity21:30 Transitioning to Nonprofit and New Beginnings29:46 The Journey of Self-Discovery36:00 The Art of Philanthropy and Sales49:32 The Value of Experiences and Personal Connection Connect with DanLinkedINConnect with Us!LinkedIN: Website:

Summary:Do you think it's possible to meet 10,000 people for a 1 hour conversation? Before you answer that question, as yourself another on - what could you learn about connection if you did take on such a monumental journey? I'm going to answer both questions for you with my guest today, Rob Lawless. Rob was disillusioned in corporate American back in 2015 when he set out on a quest. He wanted to meet 10,000 people for 1-1 conversations for an hour. Almost 9 yrs later, he's got nearly 2,000 to go! He's since been featured on The Kelly Clarkson show, The Today Show, and ABC News top share what he's learned and now this podcast!Rob shares his experiences, insights, and the lessons learned from his unique project, emphasizing the importance of building relationships without transactional motives. He highlights the value of being seen and heard, the unexpected outcomes of connection, and the universal insecurities that bind us all together. He introduces the 'Friend Framework' for deeper conversations and emphasizes the significance of understanding one's identity through personal stories. If you've ever struggled with the concept for being a friend while also selling, this is an episode for you!Key Moments:00:00 The Journey of Connection10:01 Building Bridges, Not Transactions20:11 The Power of Human Connection29:59 Unexpected Outcomes and Life Lessons26:32 The Friend Framework for Deeper Conversations29:56 Understanding Identity Through Pie Charts33:51 Authenticity in Building Relationships38:17 Beyond Career: Valuing Life Connections41:43 Calculated Risks and Consistency in LifeConnect with RobInstagramLinkedINConnect with Us!LinkedIN: Website: