Slaying Sober

In this powerful episode of Slaying Sober, James sits down with magician, illusionist and radio host Ben Murphy — a self‑confessed “man about town” who’s spent his life chasing the spotlight. From sick kid obsessed with clown doctors in a Brisbane hospital to world‑touring illusionist breaking Houdini records in the US, Ben built a dream career on limelight, applause and escape acts. But behind the smoke and mirrors, alcohol was quietly running the show.Ben opens up about growing up as one of the only openly gay kids at his Queensland school, using comedy as a shield, and finding his first “high” in the attention that came with magic. He shares how touring the world, business‑class flights and influencer‑style red carpets slowly turned into lonely hotel rooms, airport vodkas at 9am, and a drinking pattern so warped he started lying to strangers just to protect it. Despite a successful career and a long‑term partner, Ben lost the thing that matters most: hope.Now over six years sober, Ben talks candidly about the moments that scared him straight — from waking up last on a plane with the crew staring at him, to watching his partner sit at the end of their street because he was scared to come home. He explains why traditional 12‑step didn’t fit, how SMART Recovery and medication helped him take ownership, and why his worst day sober is still better than his best day drunk. This is a raw, funny and deeply human conversation about identity, love, risk, and rebuilding a life you actually want to be present for.Find Ben at: https://www.instagram.com/thebenmurphy_/ https://www.benmurphy.com.au/

On today’s episode of Slaying Sober, we’re going way past “just stop drinking” and into the messy, real psychology of addiction with therapist and YouTube weapon Amber Hollingsworth from Put the Shovel Down.You asked for it – this one is for the normies and the addicts. Think of it as a no‑bullshit therapy session for the partners, parents, and friends who are desperate to help but keep getting burned in the process.We unpack how trying to “save” someone can accidentally turn you into the villain of their story, pushing them deeper into shame, fear, secrecy, and using. You’ll hear how to swap punishment for real‑world consequences, and use simple, practical strategies that actually encourage change instead of fuelling more fights and relapses.We also tackle the big one: is addiction a moral failing or a disease—and why the answer changes everything about how you talk to yourself and the people you love. This episode is funny, raw, and seriously practical. Hit play for yourself, or share it with the person in your life who thinks they understand addiction—you might both walk away seeing it completely differently.Ambers Bio:"After more than 20 years working with people struggling with addiction and the families who love them, I’ve come to a conclusion that goes against much of what people are told about addiction: it isn’t a hopeless condition that people are powerless over. More often, it’s a deeply ingrained pattern built on falsebeliefs, and false beliefs can be changed. Through my work, I’ve built a YouTube community of more than 800,000 subscribers. The comment I hear most often is, 'I wish I had known this years ago. I would have done everythingdifferently.'" SocialMedia Links:Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT8PE1v0xFR9zLXOijxM6hgIG : https://www.instagram.com/puttheshoveldown/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/addictionrecoveryhopeLinked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-hollingsworth-833111b8/

PART 2 - More nuggets of wisdom from TyTy goes from bullied kid in Ferntree Gully to 450 charges, homelessness, psych wards, and multiple stints in jail – and is now rebuilding his life with six months clean, off all meds, and deeply connected to NA and spirituality.​From 450 Charges to Spiritual Awakening: Ty’s StoryIn this raw and unfiltered episode of Slaying Sober, Ty shares how early bullying, weed at 12 and party drugs as a teen spiralled into meth addiction, crime, homelessness, psychosis and multiple prison sentences –and how a suicide attempt, a peer worker named Jo, NA, and tough love from his family pulled him into recovery.​In this episode, we talk about:​Perfect for anyone who’s ever felt “too far gone” or stuckin the system and needs proof that recovery – deep, spiritual, connected recovery – is possible.

From £10 Pom to heroin haze in 1970s Bali — speed psychosis, queer activism, jail time, and 48 years sober.Kate Rowe’s raw memoir How the Fck Would I Know? proves recovery miracles happen — but only with brutal honesty and hard work.🎧 Listen if you want hope that “geographical cures” fail, fragments can reform, and life past 75 sober can feel like the fourth dimension. Raw recovery talk for addicts, LGBTQ+ history buffs, and anyone chasing that humility glow-up.Guest Bio – Kate Rowe🏳️‍🌈 78er: Arrested at Sydney’s first Mardi Gras (1978); bashed and jailed for shouting “Up the lezzos!” — paving the way for today’s Pride.📚 Author: How the Fck Would I Know? (2025) — a no-BS memoir of addiction, near-death from hepatitis, smuggling fails, suicide bids, and a full sobriety rebuild.🏊 Ironwoman: Competed in brutal ocean swims post-recovery.🎶 Ukulele player: Her sober-life hack — “you can have fun!”🌐 Connect: katerowe.net | Buy book on BooktopiaTimestamped Highlights (Recovery Gold)00:40 – Book meaning: “What the f*ck would I know?” = Stay teachable at 75. No ego, just growth.01:52 – £10 Pom escape: Fled UK booze/pills/anorexia; landed in Australia’s 70s drug scene.06:39 – Bali 1970s drug fest: Heroin smoke (no needles = “not addict” delusion). Smuggling, hepatitis, chaos.12:37 – UK welfare job turned coke-dealing den; bosses, guns, paranoia.17:13 – Speed psychosis, suicide attempts, Mogadon OD — AA at Rozelle saves her.21:55 – Therapist: “You’re fragmented.” The long road to wholeness — now 48 years sober.26:45 – Lesbian awakening, Mardi Gras fightback, queer denial around addiction.36:43 – Sober at 75: “Miracles take years and brutal work.” Talks to the sky for guidance.4 Brutal TakeawaysYou take you everywhere: “Geographical cures” are myths.Addict logic: “Doc said no booze, not no drugs.” Madness.Fragment fix: Honesty + work rebuilds you (took 20 years).Sober joy: Ukulele, Ironwoman events, Pride hugs from Gen Z.

From Rage to Redemption: Addiction Recovery StoryMelbourne dad Joe shares his raw journey from childhood sexual abuse, bullying, and bikie violence to sobriety. Hiding trauma as a teen, he turned to booze, drugs, and bouncing—until a rage-filled night destroying his home terrified his daughter.Discover AA, monastery rehab in Italy, martial arts mastery, and forgiving his abuser. Now an AOD teacher and coach, Joe proves change is possible.Key topics:Italian-Aussie identity and school racismSuicidal thoughts and brutal violenceBikie life costs on family"Warrior" discipline for self-controlGrandfather life changing livesIf you're battling addiction or trauma, this hits hard#podcast #spotify #podcasting #healingjourney #addictionrecovery #slayingsober #mentalgrowth #martialartslife #resilience #identitytransformation #selfcontrol#warriorspath

She was using ice through needles, selling her body at 17, and disappearing from herself—until one moment of surrender changed everything Amber’s story on the Slaying Sober podcast is raw, confronting, and deeply hopeful.From growing up in Australia’s heavy drinking culture to teenage substance use, sex work, and intravenous ice addiction, Amber takes us through the unfiltered reality of addiction—and the quiet power of recovery.Now three years sober through a 12-step program, Amber shares how detox, ninemonths of rehab, daily sponsor calls, and relentless honesty helped her rebuild a life she never thought she deserved. This episode dives into youth mental health, neurodivergence, codependency, and what it really means to surrender when you’ve tried everything else.She also opens up about her 20-hour silence challenge for youth mental health—transforming loneliness into peace—and how recovery taught her authenticity after years of masking, bullying, and emotional neglect.This is not a glamorized recovery story. It’s real, uncomfortable, and proof that sobriety works—even when you’re young, broken, and convinced you’re too far gone. •From first drink at 14 to drug-induced psychosis•Losing 30kg in one month during active addiction•Ice addiction through pipes and needles•Sex work, court bonds, and criminal survival•The moment of rock bottom that sparked change•Why surrender isn’t weakness—it’s freedom•“Find better meetings like you found better drugs” Sobriety Milestones: Clean since November 21, 2022 | Detox + 9-month rehab | 4–5meetings weekly Recovery Tools: 12-step fellowship, sponsor accountability, grounding practices, service work Personal Growth: From people-pleasing and masking to self-acceptance and advocacy Challenges Overcome: Ice addiction, sex work from age 17, psychosis, emotional abandonment 00:01:19– Silence challenge: boredom vs peace02:11:00– Alcohol normalized in childhood07:20:00– Drugs used to quiet the mind (neurodivergence)19:10:00– Rock bottom and mirror moment26:53:00– Detox, rehab, surrender41:28:00– Three years sober & life today Why This Episode Matters:This is a 22-year-old’s unfiltered truth—no recovery clichés, no sugar-coating. A rare youth perspective on ice addiction, sex work, and sobriety within Australian culture, offering practical tools and real hope for anyone who thinks they’re “too young” or “too far gone.” If you’re questioning your relationship with substances, supporting someone in recovery, or searching for real hope—listen now. Share this episode with someone who needs proof that change is possible.

SummaryIn this conversation, Nicole shares her journey of healing alongside her husband's battle with addiction. She discusses the challenges faced by families of addicts, the importance of self-care, and the need for open communication. Nicole emphasizes the significance of understanding co-dependency and the impact of trauma on relationships. The discussion also highlights the process of rebuilding trust and making amends, as well as the necessity of creating safe spaces for vulnerability and connection.TakeawaysBoth partners in a relationship affected by addiction have their own healing journeys.Codependency can lead to neglecting one's own needs and well-being.Trauma can stack and complicate the healing process for families.Open communication is essential for rebuilding trust in relationships.Self-care is crucial for those supporting loved ones with addiction.Recognizing signs of addiction can be challenging, especially with silent struggles.Creating safe spaces for vulnerability fosters connection and healing.Making amends requires transparency and accountability from the recovering partner.Emotional sobriety is as important as physical sobriety in recovery.The ripple effect of addiction impacts not just the individual but their entire family.

SummaryIn this conversation, Ashley Smith shares his journey from addiction to recovery, discussing the challenges he faced growing up in Tasmania, his struggles with substance abuse, and his commitment to helping at-risk youth. He emphasizes the importance of breaking the cycle of addiction and the role of community support in fostering resilience and hope. Ashley also highlights his recent initiatives to empower young people and create positive change in his community, showcasing his passion for making a difference.TakeawaysBreaking the cycle of addiction is crucial for personal and community healing.Conversations about addiction and mental health are more accepted today than in the past.Ashley aims to empower at-risk youth through mentorship and community events.His childhood was marked by struggles with family addiction and mental health issues.Ashley experienced severe consequences from his addiction, including multiple hospital visits and prison sentences.A turning point in his life came after a near-fatal overdose.He found purpose in helping others, which aids his own recovery.Ashley emphasizes the importance of community support in overcoming addiction.He is committed to creating non-profit initiatives to support youth in Tasmania.Ashley believes that true happiness comes from meaningful connections and helping others, not material wealth.

What the conversation coversJared’s “normal” Aussie upbringing, love of surfing and metal music, and early experiences with alcohol.​How drinking escalated in his late teens and 20s around clubs, footy, bands, and mates, leading to blackouts, fights, guilt, relationship breakdown, and large unpaid fines.​The point nine years earlier where he decided to stop drinking after another destructive binge and ongoing shame, including how publicly declaring his intent to quit and a court decision wiping $62,000 in fines became a turning point he sees as a “higher power” moment.​Jared initially tried to stay sober mostly on his own, attending a few AA meetings, taking some tools, then “white‑knuckling” it for about seven years, still carrying a lot of self‑hate and ego.​Returning to 12‑step meetings as a support person for his partner humbled him; finding a sponsor and doing the steps shifted him from merely not drinking to actually healing emotionally and spiritually.​He describes the steps as a way of living that reduced his anger (for example, road rage), helped him forgive himself, and allowed him to genuinely like and love who he is.​Jared and James talk about the stigma of addiction and how many people in recovery hide their past because they feel shame, even after getting sober.​Jared founded “University of Sober Living” as a clothing brand and community to give people in recovery a visible, pride‑based identity, plus a website where people can reach out for support outside formal 12‑step rooms.​Both men emphasise “recovering loudly so others don’t die in silence,” and how being open about sobriety prompts others at footy clubs, gyms, or social circles to quietly ask for help.​Jared explains how alcohol contributed to the breakdown of his relationship with his children’s mother and how he prioritised drinking over family, though he avoided drinking directly in front of his kids.​He and his current partner are both in recovery; she is also a carer for a severely disabled child, experienced carer burnout and rehab, and is now building services to support other special‑needs parents.​Their household focus is now on service and community—supporting people with addiction and carers in distress—because recovery has given them a “second life” they want to share.​Jared still plays Super Rules footy (over‑35s), noting that many teammates deal with health issues, addiction, or major life stress and often seek someone with lived experience to talk to.​His week in recovery usually involves around five meetings across both AA and NA, which he compares to ongoing “spiritual fitness” and a source of connection and emotional reset.​He and James stress that you can fully enjoy team sport and camaraderie while sober—celebrating with soft drinks, conversation, and community instead of relying on alcohol.Recovery and the 12-step journeyService, community, and “University of Sober Living”Family, partners, and helping othersLife in ongoing recovery

Old drinking buddies, sharing war stories, laughs and sober inspiration. Get ready to laugh, and maybe cry, as Sammy and James chat about theirSummaryIn this episode, James and Levvo reconnect over their shared experiences of sobriety and reminisce about their wild days living in a pub in Bristol. They explore the impact of alcohol on their lives, the friendships formed during that time, and the entrepreneurial spirit that emerged from their drinking culture. Through humorous anecdotes and reflective insights, they discuss the challenges of navigating sobriety and the lessons learned from their past. In this conversation, Levo and James Date discuss their journeys of sobriety, the challenges they faced, and the rewards they have experienced since giving up alcohol. They explore the social aspects of drinking, the struggle with moderation, and the importance of self-reflection and honesty in their recovery. The discussion also touches on the impact of sports culture on drinking habits and the fulfillment they find in their lives post-alcohol. They emphasize that anyone can achieve sobriety and that the journey is worth it, sharing personal anecdotes and insights along the way.TakeawaysWe shared an enthusiasm for sobriety.Living in a pub created lifelong friendships.Drinking was a daily routine without fail.We were enablers in our drinking culture.The Naked Bacon Bet was a wild experience.The 10 Quid Challenge showcased our creativity.Induction at the cider bar was a rite of passage.Alcohol was deeply ingrained in our social lives.Sobriety has led to self-discovery and growth.Reflecting on past behaviors brings both laughter and shame. Sobriety can feel foreign, especially in social situations.Non-alcoholic beers can be a social alternative.The decision to stop drinking can lead to profound personal rewards.Self-reflection is crucial in the journey of sobriety.Moderation can be a difficult battle for many.Past experiences shape our current perspectives on alcohol.Finding fulfillment outside of alcohol is possible and rewarding.Honesty with oneself is key to recovery.Sports culture can heavily influence drinking habits.The journey of sobriety can inspire others to make changes.

Welcome to Slaying Sober. Today, James speaks with Gary, whose early life was inspired by the gangster lifestyle and led him to time in max security prison. Gary’s journey of breaking free from addiction and crime in Perth proves that no cycle is unbreakable, and hope is always within reach.Takeaways: Gary shares his journey of addiction and recovery.He emphasizes the importance of self-love in overcoming addiction.The role of environment and relationships in addiction is crucial.Gary discusses the challenges of staying sober after recovery.He highlights the significance of community support in recovery.Nature and mindfulness are key tools for healing.Gary's story illustrates the impact of trauma on addiction.He believes in the power of personal stories to inspire others.Gary's relationship with his partner has been a source of strength.He stresses the need for internal work to achieve lasting sobriety.SummaryIn this conversation, Gary shares his profound journey from addiction to recovery, emphasizing the importance of self-love, community support, and the role of nature in healing. He discusses the challenges faced during his addiction, the impact of his environment, and the significance of relationships in his recovery process. Gary's story serves as an inspiration for those struggling with addiction, highlighting the internal work required to achieve lasting sobriety.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Early Reflections07:51 Breaking the Cycle of Addiction10:51 Life After Prison13:32 The Turning Point: Finding Love22:26 Self-Love and Recovery23:57 Articulation and Connection in Recovery24:37 The Journey to Sobriety: Personal Experiences25:40 Changing Environments for Recovery26:25 Building Community in Recovery27:23 Strength Through Overcoming Addiction28:12 Daily Practices for Recovery29:11 Celebrating Progress in Recovery30:04 The Role of Social Media in Recovery31:48 Expectations of Praise in Sobriety32:55 Facing Criticism and Naysayers34:09 The Reality of Addiction Recovery37:04 Nature as a Healing Tool38:42 Childhood Joys and Their Role in Recovery41:56 The Importance of Community Support42:52 Gratitude for Supportive Relationships44:24 OUTRO SS.wav

We discuss the downside of a bikie lifestyle, drugs in prison, psychosis, guns, suicide and desperation.As well as some witty insights from Sam. SummaryIn this conversation, Sam shares his journey from addiction to recovery, emphasizing the importance of mentorship and personal stories in helping others. He discusses the glamorization of gang life and the harsh realities of addiction, highlighting the need for a more effective rehabilitation system. The conversation also touches on generational trauma and the impact of societal perceptions on individuals struggling with addiction.