Tentpole Trauma

Following the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney, the Star Wars brand came roaring back with the blockbuster release of the J.J. Abrams directed Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens, a film that still holds the record for highest grossing at the domestic box office. But, following Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi, an extremely divisive sequel directed by Rian Johnson, Lucasfilm president Kathleen hoped to correct matters by bringing Abrams back for the trilogy capper, Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker. And while the film did well at the box office, critics and fan reaction was almost unanimously negative, tarnishing the brand and relegating it to streaming for the better part of the decade. But is it really that bad? Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they struggle with wayfinders, argue over what constitutes a "memberberry", and welcome back an Emperor who somehow returned.

On paper, the pairing of Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone, both megawatt stars in 1994, seemed a promising cinematic prospect. Unfortunately, the resulting effort, Luis Llosa’s The Specialist, failed to deliver the action Stallone fans craved, nor the erotic heat Stone was famous for. But is it unintentionally hilarious? You bet! Join Sebastian and guest Richard Hamilton as they attempt to diffuse this misguided, Miami-based bomb.

The teaming of Kathryn Bigelow and James Cameron is always a potent proposition, as the former married couple are both heavyweight directors in their own right. This should have made their 1995 collaboration Strange Days--a dystopian cyberthriller set on the eve of Y2K starring Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett and Juliette Lewis--a surefire smash. Unfortunately, the movie's hot button political themes and pitch black tone didn't translate to boffo box office, and to this day it remains frustratingly unavailable stateside in a high definition format. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they jack in, fire up some playback and ring in the new year with this underappreciated and chillingly topical sci fi classic.

Hollywood had a hankering to return to the wonderful land of Oz following decades of the 1939 Wizard of Oz being a childhood staple. Many attempts were made, but none as traumatic as Disney’s 1985 effort Return to Oz, a nightmarish fantasy in which Dorothy, here played by Fairuza Balk, returns to the decimated magical land following a stint at an insane asylum. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they follow a torn up yellow brick road, make some puppetastic new friends, and relive the days when kids movies were scarier than any old Wicked Witch.

With video game adaptations raking in big coin at the box office, adapting the popular Borderlands series to screen seemed a no-brainer. But even pairing a puzzling high-profile cast—featuring Cate Blanchette, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis and Jack Black—with a jokey and colorful Guardians of the Galaxy sci fi vibe didn’t help Eli Roth’s beleaguered directorial effort connect with fans or ticket buyers. Join Sebastian and Steve as they comb the junkyard wastes of Pandora (no, not that Pandora) for any pleasures they can salvage from this muddled, madcap mess.

The late 90s found Kevin Costner on a serious losing streak following high profile post apocalyptic flops Waterworld and The Postman, so it made sense that he would retreat to a sub-genre that had batted a thousand for him previously, the baseball drama. But despite the confident direction of a pre-Spider-Man Sam Raimi and a stellar supporting cast, For Love of the Game still struck out at the box office. Join Sebastian and Andrew as they take themselves out to the ballpark and see if this treacly romance is truly a no-hitter.

The Universal Monsters franchise has seen numerous failed re-launches over the years, but after Leigh Whannell’s Invisible Man hit big back in 2020, hopes were high that he could do the same for the Wolf Man. Sadly, despite a solid cast featuring Julia Garner and Christopher Abbot, the film could not overcome the stench of failure after a poorly received costume leak and lackluster trailers, resulting in tepid reviews and box office grosses. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they get down with the sickness and try to find the lycanthrope in this de-fanged failure.

Despite the enduring popularity of Spider-Man, Sony’s attempt to build a universe around the character’s rogue’s gallery—without the inclusion of Spidey himself— has, Venom movies aside, been an unmitigated disaster. Sadly, the Aaron Taylor Johnson led Kraven the Hunter continues that trend, but is it truly a pointless safari? Join Sebastian and Matt as they consume a little voodoo potion, put on their lion’s mane vests and get to cravin’ some Kraven.

Todd Philips' 2019 Joker took the world by storm, earning over a billion in box office receipts and winning star Joaquin Phoenix the Oscar. A sequel seemed all but inevitable, so when one was announced, and with pop superstar Lady Gaga in the role of Joker love-interest Harley Quinn, the stage was set for another smash hit. But the film's musical format and thematic departures did not entice audiences, resulting in a critical and commercial disaster. Join Sebastian and Chris from The Movie In Your Mind podcast as they slather on some greasepaint, strike up the band and try to find some point to this muddled, misbegotten musical mess.

Less a directorial effort than a vehicle for his pop singer daughter, M. Night Shyamalan's latest high concept thriller, Trap, features Josh Hartnett in a cat and mouse game taking place at the concert of a Taylor Swift-style fictional diva. Does Night manage to recapture the magic of his Sixth Sense glory days, or is the nauseating nepotism on display coupled with a crushing parade of implausibilities too much for a hapless audience to bear? Join Sebastian and Rodney for this special mini-episode discussion on what could be the year's worst mainstream movie.

After successfully resurrecting “The Shape” for Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers in 1988, producer and overlord Moustapha Akkad demanded a sequel the following year. The resulting film, boasting the Revenge of Michael Myers, was met with fan backlash and disappointment at the box office, falling to capitalize on the previous film’s murderous momentum. Join Sebastian and Bloody Bits co-host Matt Anderson as they carve into this misguided jack o lantern and revel in one of the long running franchise’s more hysterical entries.

Jan de Bont’s remake of the 1963 Robert Wise classic promised to take The Haunting of Hill House into the new millennium, boasting state of the art special effects and an A-list cast. Unfortunately it also boasted a clunky script, ridiculous production design and CGI overload that robbed Shirley Jackson’s seminal ghost story of all of its terror and dread. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they summon the spirit of Hugh Crain and question their sanity for watching this misguided misfire more than any sane couple should.

Fans of the 20th Century Fox mutant superhero series were anxious to see the backstory of fan-favorite character Wolverine explained, so Gavin Hood’s prequel X-Men Origins: Wolverine landed with a box office bang in 2009. But despite a successful financial run, the film was lambasted by fans and critics for its shoddy special effects, mistreatment of beloved characters (including a disastrous debut for Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool) and some truly baffling story choices. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they go full adamantium claws out on this misshapen mutant misfire and show gratitude for the recent corrective of Deadpool & Wolverine.