The Relativistic Adventures of Rita Excreta

The Relativistic Adventures of Rita Excreta

From That's Absurd Please Elaborate by Trace Elements Media

May 21, 2026 · 1h 7m · Episode 126

About this episode

Julian explores the logistics of pigeons and their excrement while Trace tackles the economics of holiday birthdays through relativity.

If we had a nickel for every time Julian answered a question involving pigeons, we’d have two nickels. Not that many, but weird that it’s happened twice. This week, he investigates pigeon logistics, excreta coverage, and everything about the Great Wall of China, all fueled by the power of basic research and—horrifyingly—firsthand investigation. Meanwhile, Trace attempts to outsmart the cruel economics of holiday birthdays using special and general relativity, which was definitely the simplest and most reasonable way possible to solve this problem. QUESTIONS Julian: “How many days would it take a single pigeon to cover the Great Wall of China in excrement?” from Jonathan Trace: “What kind of relativistic shenanigans would I need to pull in order to change my birthday by one month?” from Ryan Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's silly idea you had, a shower thought about the nature of reality, or a ridiculous musing about your favorite food? If you want an answer, no matter the question, tell us! HOW TO ASK A QUESTION 🖥️ Submit on our website:  thatsabsurdshow.com/ask ☎️ Leave a voicemail: (302) TAPE-SHO [+1-302-827-3746‬] 📬 E-mail questions to hello at&nbsp…

People in this episode

Host: Trace

Topics covered

  • pigeon logistics
  • excreta coverage
  • relativity
  • holiday birthdays
  • absurd questions

Keywords

  • pigeons
  • Great Wall of China
  • excrement
  • relativity
  • holiday birthdays
  • absurd questions

Mentioned in this episode

Places: Great Wall of China

More episodes of That's Absurd Please Elaborate

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the That's Absurd Please Elaborate podcast page.