The Angry Therapist Podcast

This episode starts with a story about peeing on himself… and somehow turns into a conversation about masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, and rebuilding love after loss. John records this one off the cuff from a coffee shop in Costa Rica and reflects on the traits he once saw as flaws, the surprising depth that can happen in men’s groups, and a relationship question that’s changing the way he shows up in marriage. He also shares why he believes some relationships need to “die” in order for something more honest to be rebuilt. In this episode: • Why impulsiveness and intensity may not be the problem • The question John asked a men’s group: “How is your heart?” • How emotional safety changes the way men open up • Why some long-term relationships stop evolving • “What I need” vs “what the relationship needs” • Rebuilding a marriage after loss and change If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who’s navigating growth, love, or reinvention. Follow the podcast for new episodes every week. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

John explores how many of us are loving from a definition we never consciously chose. From family dynamics to heartbreak and old emotional imprints, he breaks down how our love blueprint gets formed and why it keeps pulling us into familiar patterns. He also shares three practical homework exercises to help you uncover your current definition of love, identify your relationship patterns, and separate real chemistry from emotional familiarity. If you keep ending up in the same relationship with a different face, this episode is for you. 🎙️ Host Links: Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John reflects on what it means to feel complete and asks a powerful question: what in your life feels unfinished? He explores how so many of us chase worth, peace, and wholeness through achievement, validation, or external circumstances, while the real work may be learning how to feel whole from within. This is a conversation about unfinished parts of ourselves, living with more intention, and finding completeness even when life is uncertain or unresolved. If you have been feeling restless, behind, or like something is missing, this episode will give you space to reflect on what truly brings you back to yourself. 🎙️ Host Links: Surf, sex and pancakes retreat https://surfsexandpancakes.com/ Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

John breaks down why “2x love” keeps people stuck in the same patterns, while “10x love” asks for a total redesign. He talks about self-respect, raising your standards, releasing old blueprints, and building a relationship that feels aligned instead of familiar. If you’ve been trying to fix love without really changing it, this episode is for you. Timestamps: (00:00) Two X Fixes (00:25) Podcast Intro Abroad (01:11) The 10X Idea (02:59) Two X Love Traps (04:24) Designing 10X Love (05:41) Why 10X Feels Easier (06:24) The Fear of Letting Go (08:05) Rethinking The Blueprint (11:09) Build A New Container (13:53) Truth Talks And Wrap Up Book mentioned: 10x Is Easier than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More by Doing Less https://tinyurl.com/yrb6bn6j 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John answers listener questions about attachment wounds, commitment issues, trauma bonds, intrusive thoughts, divorce, and the painful question so many people wrestle with: is this relationship worth fighting for, or is it time to let go? He explores what actually kills relationships, why healthy love can sometimes feel unfamiliar, how to begin healing avoidant patterns, and what it means to choose yourself when your whole life is about to change. This is an honest conversation about love, fear, grief, boundaries, and the courage it takes to face hard truths. If you are stuck between holding on and walking away, this episode is for you. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if ADHD isn’t just about focus… but about a nervous system stuck in survival mode? Therapist Jenna Free explains why many ADHD brains are living in chronic fight-or-flight—and why productivity tools like planners and to-do lists often fail. In this episode, Jenna shares how her own late ADHD diagnosis in graduate school led her to rethink everything she was taught about ADHD treatment. Instead of adding more systems and strategies, she began focusing on nervous system regulation. When the body is dysregulated, executive functioning drops, urgency increases, and people get stuck in a familiar ADHD pattern: on → crash → repeat. Jenna introduces the concept of “alignment with reality” — learning to match your internal state to what’s actually happening instead of fighting reality with thoughts like “I’m behind” or “there’s not enough time.” We also explore ADHD in women and motherhood, the cultural pressure to constantly produce, and how productivity for productivity’s sake can disconnect us from joy, presence, and the people we care about most. Jenna shares practical ways to regulate in everyday life, including recognizing signs of dysregulation, slowing the body to signal safety, and identifying the beliefs that keep us stuck in urgency. If you constantly feel rushed, overwhelmed, or trapped by your to-do list, this episode will change how you think about ADHD, productivity, and regulation. 🔗 Guest Links: Book Title: THE SIMPLE GUIDE TO ADHD REGULATION: The Secret to Finding Balance, Getting Things Done, and Enjoying Website: https://www.adhdwithjennafree.com/ TikTok: @adhdwithjennafree ; www.tiktok.com/@adhdwithjennafree Instagram: @adhdwithjennafree ; www.instagram.com/adhdwithjennafree Podcast: ADHD with Jenna Free; https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/adhd-with-jenna-free/id1801356817 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices