The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.In this episode:Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden tooHow Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelingsWhy workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmaskThe grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differWhy "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotypeResources mentioned:Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

A new national survey from NEXT for AUTISM puts hard data on what autistic and AuDHD employees have been describing for years — and the findings challenge most of what workplaces assume about disclosure, accommodations, and what actually drives retention.I sat down with Candi Weaver-Dowds, Senior Manager of Strategic Initiatives at NEXT for AUTISM and the lead on this research, and Abigayle Jayroe, SVP of Strategic Operations, to walk through the data and what employers need to do differently.We cover:• Why 79% of autistic employees describe masking and emotional exhaustion as a workplace challenge — and what that costs • The 73% disclosure rate, and why most went to their direct manager rather than HR • Why nearly 7 in 10 autistic employees are building their own support systems outside of work • What the data shows about autistic women carrying a disproportionate burden • Why AuDHD employees — 40% of the sample — may be the largest and most strained subgroup in the autistic workforce About the report Inside the Autistic Workforce: A National Survey of Autistic Employees on Their Workplace Experience — and What Employers Need to Know. Completed in 2026, this mixed-methods study was developed and led by NEXT for AUTISM, in partnership with Sago, a global research firm, and funded by the Anita Bhatia Foundation for Tomorrow. Read the full report: https://nextforautism.org/inside-the-autistic-workplace/Chapters 00:00 What the data finally proves 02:12 The strengths-based research approach 03:00 High job satisfaction, hidden cost 04:22 Masking is a second job running in the background 06:06 Why the manager relationship matters most 07:29 What 73% disclosure really means 10:09 The accommodations gap 11:34 Building support outside of work 12:46 The disproportionate burden on autistic women 14:13 Late diagnosis and the workplace 15:21 AuDHD: two operating systems competing 17:47 What workplaces need to do differently 20:27 The neurodivergent manager effect 20:47 Autistic feedback as operational intelligence 23:37 The report, the grants program, and how to take actionAbout AuDHD Boss I'm Brett Whitmarsh — late-diagnosed AuDHD, former corporate people manager, and host of AuDHD Boss. This show is about what work actually looks like for neurodivergent professionals, and what managers, HR teams, and leaders need to understand to stop losing this talent.Free Accommodations Prep Guide: https://payhip.com/b/j0rvk Work with me or book a corporate training: https://audhdboss.com

Getting a diagnosis as an adult can feel like an answer. Then you're sitting with that information, years into a career, with no real roadmap for what comes next. You don't know what you need. You don't know how to ask for it. And you're not sure whether telling your employer is going to help you or hurt you.Brett continues his conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD — licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build the systems, workflows, and strategies that let them thrive at work and in life.This episode gets into what late diagnosis actually looks like from a therapeutic perspective — why so many late-diagnosed adults don't yet know what they need even after getting a diagnosis, and how burnout accumulates when you've spent years running your nervous system without the right supports in place.They also cover the disclosure decision directly. Not a simple yes or no, but a real framework for thinking through who benefits, what the risks are, and how to read your specific workplace before making a call that has actual career consequences.Dr. Marshall closes with something worth sitting with: rejection is protection.This is Part 2 of a two-part conversation. Part 1 covers the AuDHD leadership trap, unspoken corporate rules, and the real difference between masking and code switching. Linked below.Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall: Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler https://www.YouTube.com/ @DrBoTyler Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Getting promoted because you're good at your job is the easy part. Most AuDHD professionals find out quickly that the role they were promoted into requires skills nobody taught them and nobody mentioned were part of the deal.Brett sits down with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build systems, workflows, and leadership approaches that work for their brains at work and in life.The conversation starts where a lot of AuDHD careers start to get complicated: outperforming everyone around you, getting promoted because of it, and then discovering that managing people is a completely different job than doing the work. Dr. Marshall introduces a Harvard Business Review leadership framework that describes this pattern specifically. From there they get into the unwritten rules most corporate environments run on, how warmth and competence function as the two factors that shape how you're perceived at work, and what happens when you're four steps ahead of the room and keep getting dismissed for it.The conversation closes on a distinction worth understanding clearly: the difference between masking and code switching. Most people treat these as the same thing. They aren't, and the difference matters when you're trying to figure out where your energy is actually going.This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 covers late diagnosis, burnout, and the decision of whether to disclose your diagnosis at work.Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall: Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTylerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/DrbotylerTimestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:33 Technical skill vs. leadership skill 03:55 The Pacesetter Leadership Style 06:35 From expert to teacher 07:48 "Don't be too good at your job" 09:00 Unspoken corporate rules 11:59 Warmth and competence 12:42 The Cassandra Effect 15:03 Calibrating what you share at work 16:13 Masking vs. code switching 19:36 Companies and neurodivergent brains 20:56 Burnout and entrepreneurshipABOUT AUDHD BOSS:AuDHD Boss is Brett Whitmarsh's channel covering ADHD and Autism in the workplace. Brett has over 12 years of leadership experience and a formal diagnosis of ADHD and Autism.Substack: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarshWebsite: https://audhdboss.com

If you're neurodivergent and considering a workplace accommodation request, disclosure is probably the thing stopping you. Do you have to tell HR you're autistic or have ADHD? Who else finds out?The answer is more nuanced than most people explain — and in this episode, I'm giving you the version that holds up, including the part most content on this topic gets wrong.We cover the informal path (manager only, no HR, no paperwork) versus what actually happens once the formal process starts. What the ADA protects — and what it doesn't. And the practical call on who to approach first, with real context from someone who has been on the management side of this conversation.Free resource: Download The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It at http://payhip.com/b/j0rvkTopics: ADHD at work, autism at work, AuDHD, workplace accommodations, ADA accommodations, disability disclosure, how to request accommodations, neurodivergent employees, HR and disability, accommodation request process

Purity culture. High control religion. Autistic masking. In this episode, Brett (The AuDHD Boss) gets vulnerable about growing up in a fundamentalist evangelical environment—and how rigid rules and shame can stay in your body long after you’ve “left.”Brett is late-diagnosed Autistic + ADHD, and in this conversation with author and educator Erica Smith, they explore why purity culture can feel especially “sticky” when you’re used to rule-following, people-pleasing, and masking for safety. Erica is the author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve and founder of the Purity Culture Dropout Program—inclusive, trauma-informed education many of us never received.In this episode we talk about:What purity culture is (and how it became a movement)How shame and fear shape relationships and identityWhy rigid rules can feel “safe”—and how to replace them with your valuesWhat “deconstruction” means and how it can support healing“Is it too late?” (No. Ever.)Late coming-out, “second adolescence,” and reclaiming your timelineHow to talk to partners about your background without apologizing for itLinks & resources:Erica Smith’s book (affiliate): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798881801304Purity Culture Dropout Program: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-programMore from AuDHD Boss: AuDHDboss.com(For education and lived experience—not medical advice.)00:00 Purity culture, high control religion & autistic masking00:56 Leaving the church, carrying shame + rigid rules01:47 Meet Erica Smith + The Purity Culture Recovery Guide02:47 What purity culture is (broad + specific)04:15 Why it took hold in the 90s (True Love Waits)05:46 Reading recovery work when it feels activating07:42 Skip to the chapters you need (how Erica designed the book)10:10 Myths and misinformation purity culture taught12:59 Long-term impacts: fear, paralysis, pain, disconnection14:53 Autistic masking + rigid rule-following overlap16:04 Replacing rules with your values18:02 What “deconstruction” means18:47 “Is it too late?”21:27 Late coming-out + “second adolescence”24:49 Why “waiting for marriage” still has a hold28:02 Talking to partners without apologizing30:18 Final thoughts + where to find Erica

Self-esteem has been a complicated one for me as an AuDHD adult (autism + ADHD). I can be confident and capable in certain areas—and then hit a wall in others and immediately start wondering, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do the thing?”In this episode, I’m sharing what I’ve learned about how AuDHD can impact self-esteem for me—especially on the other side of diagnosis—along with what I try when I feel a spiral coming on. I talk about internalized ableism and masking, imposter syndrome at work, what it looks like when my body knows I’m overwhelmed before I do (alexithymia), and how I anchor back to what I know is true.This isn’t a “you should” episode. It’s me being honest about what it feels like in my brain—and what I’m experimenting with to build self-trust.Resources mentionedNeurodivergent Insights glossary (alexithymia): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergent-insights-glossary/Self-Care Activities for Autistic People card deck (Dr. Megan Anna Neff): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507225066Show notes bullets (for apps that surface these):AuDHD and why it can feel “not quite ADHD, not quite autism”Strengths vs. struggles and the imposter syndrome gap“A different way in” — reframing walls without self-blameSupport without shame (reducing steps, ordering takeout when needed)Alexithymia + body cues + spiraling thoughtsAnchoring to what I know is true + a 20–22 minute resetPracticing pride: “take the win”

Ever googled “best jobs for ADHD” or “best jobs for autism” — especially after a late diagnosis — and hoped someone would finally hand you the answer?In this episode, I’m going to give you the real answer: there isn’t one perfect job title for AuDHD (ADHD + autism). What actually matters is job fit — the match between your interests, your work environment needs, and the communication style you’ll have with your manager and team.You’ll learn:How to use “the spark” of a special interest to find realistic career entry pointsWhat environment factors to consider so you can thrive (not just survive)Why manager communication and check-ins can make or break a roleInterview questions that help you spot green flags and red flagsHow to answer: “What do you need to be successful in this role?” without disclosingLinksWebsite: https://audhdboss.comSubscribe on YouTube: https://youtu.be/R_Lx6TFvZ2AQuestion for you: Which part of job fit is hardest right now—interests, environment, or manager communication?

Annual review season can feel overwhelming — especially if you’re ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent. Memory gaps, freeze responses, stalled processing, panic, and the pressure to recall a whole year of work can make self-evaluations feel impossible.In this episode, I walk you through a neurodivergent-friendly, step-by-step process for writing your annual self-review — even if you didn’t track anything all year. This is the exact method I used during my 12+ years in leadership, and it’s the same process I taught my teams to help reduce overwhelm, increase clarity, and build confidence during annual review season.ou’ll learn how to do a brain dump that supports ND memory, how to use your calendar and colleagues to fill gaps, how to align your accomplishments with company OKRs and KPIs, and how to advocate for a raise, promotion, or new responsibilities using real evidence — all without masking or losing your authentic voice.Whether you’re aiming for growth, stability, or simply want to get through this process without melting down, this episode will help you approach your review with clarity and self-trust.Why annual reviews trigger freeze mode for ND brainsHow to start your self-review (even from zero)Using your calendar to rebuild the yearGetting memory support from trusted colleaguesHow to align your accomplishments to goals you forgot you setHow OKRs and KPIs actually matter in your reviewUsing AI tools without losing your authentic voiceHow to make the case for raises, promotions, or new titlesWhat managers look for and how to prepare effectivelyHow to set realistic expectations to avoid RSD spiralsWhy ongoing alignment with your manager is the secret to long-term growth https://www.audhdboss.com or https://substack.com/home/post/p-180356961

After being laid off, I learned that you can’t skip the grieving process — especially when your work was tied to your identity.In this episode, I share what it’s been like to process grief, burnout, and identity loss as an autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) leader after job loss. From losing community and structure to rediscovering creativity and unmasking, this is an honest look at what recovery really feels like.🔹 Why layoffs hit differently for neurodivergent professionals🔹 How burnout recovery overlaps with grief and self-worth🔹 What happens when leadership identity disappears overnight🔹 Finding rest, creativity, and new purpose after burnout🎧 This episode pairs with a YouTube video and a written reflection on Substack — complete with a bonus “beach story” that didn’t go as planned!➕ Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@audhdboss📝 Read the companion essay + bonus video: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

When an employee shares that they have ADHD or autism, how should a manager respond? What words build trust, and what words damage it?In this episode, Brett — The AuDHD Boss — shares a manager’s guide to responding with empathy, professionalism, and support when someone discloses ADHD or autism at work. Drawing on 12+ years of leadership experience as an autistic manager with ADHD, Brett breaks down:✅ What to say (and what NOT to say) when employees disclose ADHD or autism✅ Why every ADHD and autistic experience is unique — and why curiosity matters✅ Common mistakes managers make that harm trust and productivity✅ How simple accommodations can improve performance for everyoneThis episode is both a guide for managers and a resource for employees who want to share this with their bosses or HR teams. If you’re working toward a more inclusive workplace, this conversation will help.🌐 More from Brett:Website → audhdboss.comSubstack → brettwhitmarsh.substack.comYouTube → YouTube.com/@audhdboss

In this episode, I share my journey of coming out as queer and how it unexpectedly became the beginning of unmasking my autistic and ADHD identity. From growing up in a high-control religious environment to finding safety in the workplace, I talk about the challenges of masking, the fear of showing my true self, and the deep relief of self-acceptance.You’ll hear how coming out helped me step into authenticity, what it taught me about masking and energy, and why creating safe spaces at work matters for neurodivergent professionals.If you’ve ever struggled with masking, people-pleasing, or hiding parts of yourself, this conversation is for you.👉 Don’t forget to subscribe to The AuDHD Boss for more episodes on ADHD, autism, and thriving as a neurodivergent professional.📚 Resources mentioned in this video:Dr Neff's The Autistic Masking Workbook (from Neurodivergent Insights.com) *****USE CODE AUDHDBOSS***** FOR A DISCOUNT ON THE WORKBOOK more here: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autistic-masking/autistic-masking/Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Anna Neff: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507223062Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents:https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781626251700Deconstruction and Coming Out Resources from Erica Smith, M. Ed:https://www.ericasmitheac.com/webinars-booksEmbrace Autism – https://embrace-autism.com/audhd-and-camouflaging/👉 Check out my full Autism Masking Playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvgCuULIHenWGoJhC5GCubniGTuAt6TkT

In this episode, I get real about the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a leader—and how being diagnosed with autism and ADHD gave me a new lens on all of them.From reacting too quickly to letting my ADHD hijack team priorities, I share hard-earned lessons that every manager—especially those who are neurodivergent—needs to hear. If you’re in a leadership role and navigating your own neurodivergent traits, this one’s for you.🎥 Watch the full video version on YouTube📩 Sign up for my newsletter: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com🌐 More tips at https://audhdboss.com