The Aware Parenting Podcast

I'm so delighted that Maru Rojas, an Aware Parenting instructor in London, originally from Mexico, is back on the podcast again. Maru was on episodes 129 and 184. Maru and I discuss the nuances of helping children cooperate and understand the world around them. Maru shares examples of how providing information to babies and children can make everyday tasks like hair brushing, nail cutting, and applying sunscreen easier. We emphasise the importance of meeting children’s needs for agency, autonomy, and choice, while also addressing accumulated feelings that might cause them to be unwilling to cooperate. We explore how attachment play can be a magical tool to foster cooperation as well as the deeper connection it creates between parents and children. Maru is also a teacher of Elimination Communication and offers courses and 1:1 consultations in both Aware Parenting and EC. You can find out more about her work and can contact her at: https://parenttogether.co.uk/ and https://www.instagram.com/_maru.rojas_/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I dive into the concept of embodying loving limits: a term I coined to describe the process which is integral to the Aware Parenting approach created by Aletha Solter, PhD. I share my experiences and challenges that I faced in practicing loving limits, both with my daughter and son. I also emphasise how the practice of loving limits contrasts with typical authoritarian or permissive parenting models. I highlight the nuanced understanding and deep inner work required to truly embody this practice, sharing insights from my own journey. Throughout, I highlight the profound influence loving limits can have for children, their parents, and the relationship between the two of them. You can find my free PDF on Loving limits here: https://marion-rose.myflodesk.com/loving-limits-free-pdf And the link to my Loving Limits Deep Dive is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/loving-limits-deep-dive/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

There are many different beliefs about why children hit, and based on those beliefs, what the most helpful response to a hitting child is. Old religious paradigms believed that children were innately evil or bad and needed to be shamed and punished into being 'good'. Behaviourism believed that children needed to be taught through punishments, or removal of rewards, to teach children to stop hitting. Cognitive paradigms believed that children need to be taught that hitting hurts, in order to stop hitting. Medical models might believe that there is something wrong with a child physiologically. Some physiological maps believe that a hitting child has an immature nervous system and that they need to be taught to be calmed down. In Aware Parenting, a hitting child is in fight or flight, or hyperarousal. By definition, they don't experience being safe. There are three reasons for this: 1 ~ They aren't safe; 2 ~ The present situation is reminding them of a past trauma that they haven't yet healed from, so when they revisit that, they go into fight or flight. 3 ~ They have accumulated unexpressed painful feelings sitting in their bodies which their system interprets as a sign of not being safe, so they move into hyperarousal. The older models, with their shame, punishment, information, or calming methods, do not address the cause of the hitting, and are likely to either add more painful feelings to a child's system, and thus more fighting, or flight. Or, the child may stop hitting, but that's because they've gone into freeze, or dissociation. All the painful feelings are still sitting in their bodies. They're not feeling truly relaxed and connected to their innate nonviolence; instead, they are bypassing the feelings that are there. With Aware Parenting, our role is to help the child actually know that they are safe now. If we punish, or shame, even with an "it's not okay to hit", that won't lead to safety. If we get harsh, or disconnect, that doesn't help them experience being safe. However, when we move in close in particular ways and offer either loving limits or attachment play, we can support our child to know in their body that they are safe now. When they experience being safe, they no longer need to be in fight or flight, and will stop hitting. Then they can continue the innate physiological process of completion of the stress and trauma process, which includes releasing the feelings through either crying and raging with our loving support (if we've offered a loving limit), or laughter and play with our loving support (if we've offered attachment play). In addition, they are releasing the tension mobilised for fight or flight, which includes vigorous movement - such as the vigorous movement or a tantrum, or of a power-reversal pillow fight. They are also experiencing a sense of successfully completing the process, by being powerful this time, which helps change memories of danger and powerlessness into those of safety and power. This active process is different to the calming down that other approaches advocate for, which tend to lead to dissociation instead of true relaxation and resolution. When a child moves through this whole process, they emerge out the other side, naturally relaxed and nonviolent. We didn't need to shame them, punish them, teach them, or calm them. They innately know how to become truly relaxed. They just needed us to know how to support them to do that, and to not prevent the process from happening! If you want my free PDF to learn more about this, you can find it here: https://marion-rose.myflodesk.com/help-my-child-stop-hitting-free-pdf You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

Welcome to The Aware Parenting Podcast! In this special episode, I celebrate the launch of my first children's book, "I Love You, However You Feel," by reading it aloud. I highlight the unique nature of the book, which uses flower photographs to help convey nuanced feelings. Emphasising the importance of deep presence and unconditional love, I invite you to connect deeply with your child or children while reading this book. I also share ways for you to buy the book and take part in the 'I Love You, However You Feel' movement by sharing your own reading of the book on video. You can find the paperback and hardback on Amazon here: AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/0645857572 US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645857572 UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0645857572 DE: https://www.amazon.de/dp/0645857572 FR: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/0645857572 ES: https://www.amazon.es/dp/0645857572 IT: https://www.amazon.it/dp/0645857572 NL: https://www.amazon.nl/dp/0645857572 PL: https://www.amazon.pl/dp/0645857572 SE: https://www.amazon.se/dp/0645857572 JP: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/0645857572 CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0645857572 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:17 Celebrating the Birth of My First Children's Book 04:28 Reading the Book: I Love You, However You Feel 08:07 Information for Parents about Aware Parenting 08:34 Where the Book is Available 10:10 Invitation to Join the Movement 12:17 Conclusion and Gratitude

In this episode of the Aware Parenting Podcast, which is part of the Foundations of Aware Parenting series, I discuss separation anxiety. I delve into the history and current usage of the term and I contrast Aware Parenting's understanding of separation anxiety with Classical Attachment Parenting's understanding. I explore various causes of separation anxiety, including developmental stages, a need for safety, accumulated feelings, past unhealed separation trauma, and the parent's own past unhealed separation trauma. I also emphasise the effect of cultural beliefs on the understanding of separation anxiety and, as always, I offer lots of compassion to parents and children who are experiencing separation anxiety. I provide practical suggestions, such as the use of separation games and listening to crying and raging, to help both parents and children experience more connection, safety, and healing. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to Aware Parenting 00:26 Understanding Separation Anxiety 02:24 Cultural influences on Parenting 06:52 Causes of, and Responses to, Separation Anxiety 25:59 Healing Through Separation Games 40:10 The Influence of a Parent's own Separation Trauma 41:53 Conclusion and Resources If you want to learn more about separation anxiety, I wrote a free ebook, which you can access here: https://marion-rose.myflodesk.com/gfm8bc3qf5 I also recommend reading these books by Aletha Solter, PhD.: Cooperative and Connected Healing Your Traumatized Child Tears and Tantrums The Aware Baby And these books by me: I'm Here and I'm Listening The Emotional Life of Babies All of Your Feelings are Welcome If you want to learn more about separation games, one of the nine types of attachment play, you might feel called to do my Attachment Play Course, which you can find here: http://www.attachmentplaycourses.com/join-in I'm also creating a mini course on separation anxiety. You'll be able to find that on my website. You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I talk with Alex Letham, who is the mother of a 12 year old son, Miles. Alex did my Attachment Play Course 10 years ago, when I first created it, and I still share her testimonial and the games she and Miles made up, all these years later. In the episode, Alex shares about the conversation where she asked about tantrums and her dear friend shared about Aware Parenting. Then we had a lovely conversation about attachment play. Alex talks about her grandmother has an incredible ability to play with children, and until learning about attachment play, she didn't think she'd also be able to do that. We talk about how Aware Parenting supports children, parents, and the relationship between the two throughout the tween and teen years. Alex shares about how attachment play helped her son prepare for some surgeries he had, as well as for healing afterwards. She also explains how Miles healed from fear he felt before performances playing the trumpet using attachment play and listening to feelings. She also talks about how doing attachment play helped Miles be willing to eat more vegetables, but also how important it is to not use attachment play to try to get children to do what we want them to. She gives an example of how she trusted his food choices. We also talk about how helpful attachment play is for children and teens learning new things, and how both nonsense play and power-reversal games are so helpful. Alex shares about the power of attachment play when tweens are going through adolescence. She also offers games to play for when we're feeling exhausted, and also for when our big feelings are starting to bubble up. If you want to find out more about attachment play, I highly recommend reading Aletha Solter, PhD's book 'Attachment Play": http://www.awareparenting.com/attachmentplay.html If you want to find out more about my Attachment Play Course, you can do that here: http://www.attachmentplaycourses.com/join-in You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted to welcome Meg Rankin on to the podcast. Meg has been a Social Worker for 20 years, and still works in a tertiary hospital setting. She also has her own business offering Aware Parenting support, general counselling, birth debriefing, and supervision for care and health professionals. She also offers women's circles and mother blessings. Meg shares about how she'd known about Aware Parenting a long time before becoming a parent herself, because of being immersed in the parenting world in her work. Meg read The Aware Baby by Aletha Solter, PhD, and it changed the trajectory of her life. She talks about how Aware Parenting resonated deeply with her. Meg talks about the big journey from understanding and starting to listen to a baby's uncomfortable feelings whilst they cry in arms, to really diving deep into presence and attunement whilst listening to those feelings. We discuss the three different types of embodied experience that are so important for parents to go through in order to feel more comfortable with listening to their child's healing crying. Meg shares about her own journey to dive deeply into having an Aware Parenting community. We talk about the difference between dissociation and deep relaxation, and Meg shares how the penny dropped for her when she saw how deeply relaxed her daughter was after sharing her big feelings in Meg's loving arms. Meg shares about how the seed to become an instructor was planted, and also shares her experience of how supportive all the Aware Parenting instructors are of each other. Meg also talks about her understanding gathered through all the work she's done with women with drug and alcohol use, and the process of feeling pain that the control patterns have suppressed. You can find out more about Meg and her offerings at: https://www.instagram.com/meg.rankin.counselling/ and https://www.megrankin.com.au/

I'm so delighted to welcome on to the podcast Daniela Ekman, who is an Aware Parenting instructor and birthkeeper. Daniela shares about how she uses a lot of ancestral traditions and wisdom from South America in her work as a birthkeeper. She is from Venezuela. Daniela shares about her calling to become a birthkeeper, and the deep connection that she has with babies. This deep connection with babies is also what called her to become an Aware Parenting instructor. She shares about how much babies are affected by their experiences. We talk about how Aware Parenting helps babies stay connected with their innate presence. Daniela shares about experiences of reading my Inner Loving Presence cards, and how she feels when she does. She also talks about how she came across Aware Parenting when her first daughter was eight months old, when she was waking up many times at night. She shares about all the painful feelings and thoughts that she had when her daughter started to cry, before she found Aware Parenting. Daniela shares about how she could see the changes in her daughter almost immediately after starting to practice Aware Parenting. She was more relaxed and slept for longer periods. Daniela also shares how transformative Aware Parenting has been for her, such as in how she relates to crying and all feelings. She also explains the differences she experienced in practicing Aware Parenting from when her first daughter was 8 months old, and with her second daughter from birth. This includes how healing it has been for her first daughter, seeing Daniela listening to her sister's feelings as a baby. Daniela talks about how she first decided that she wanted to become an Aware Parenting instructor. We talk about how palpable the difference is when a baby or toddler has been brought up with Aware Parenting (whilst also reminding listeners that it's never too late to start!) She shares about what she observes in the families she works with, and in the Aware Parenting playgroup that she facilitates. We also share together about the effects of community support such as mother and baby groups and playgroups, and what a difference it makes when practicing Aware Parenting. We also talk about how being an Aware Parenting instructor is a continual learning journey. You can find Daniela at: https://www.instagram.com/prema.birthkeeper/ https://www.instagram.com/soma.shakti/ https://premabirthkeeper.com.au/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD If you want to find out more about becoming an Aware Parenting instructor in Australia, New Zealand, and Indonesia, or about my 1:1 Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring, send me a message on my socials, or email me at marion@marionrose.net

In this episode, I welcome back Nic Wilson, who was also in the last episode. This marks the return to talking about Aware Parenting, and is the first episode in a mini-series about people's journeys to become Aware Parenting instructors. Please note that Nic shares about going through a very tough time of three years of her daughter waking up every 45 minutes and feeling desperate and in her own words, "very low". Nic then talks about coming to Aware Parenting, how much it resonated, and the transformation it has brought to her and her daughter, who is now 11. Because Aware Parenting was so life-changing and life-saving for her, she knew that this is what she wanted to offer other parents. Nic shares about starting my Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring Course, and then the amazing synchronicity that happened! Nic also talks about doing 1:1 Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring with me, and the process she went through to start posting on Instagram. She also explains how connected she and her daughter are, and gives tangible examples of this. We talk about how much we both love waking up and creating posts or doing other things to share Aware Parenting. Nic offers 1:1 mentoring, as well as her Surviving School with Aware Parenting and The Marion Method Course, amongst other courses. You can find her on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/peacefulparenting/ and on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/PeacefulParenting.com.au Her website is at: https://peacefulparenting.com.au/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD If you're interested in doing my Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring Course or 1:1 Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring, I invite you to send me a message on social media or email me at marion@marionrose.net

This is another episode about reparenting with The Marion Method. It's not about Aware Parenting. In this episode, which I recorded on Valentine's Day 2025, I share how you can use the Inner Beloved Practice or connecting with the Soul Version of your partner or ex-partner. I also picked a card from my Loving Presences Oracle Cards for you, and spoke some Inner Beloved phrases to you. If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I talk with Katie Fusco, who is an Aware Parenting instructor in the UK. Katie also works in perinatal mental health, and speaks a disclaimer that everything she shares on the episode is her own, based on her own experience. We'd also love to say, before you listen, that Katie shares some of her experiences during and after giving birth that were extremely traumatic, so please listen in to yourself and whether you are willing to listen, or continue listening. After Katie shares about those traumatic events, she then talks about (the descriptions are in her own words): - My story of discovering Aware Parenting and then The Marion Method - My initial uncomfortable thoughts/feelings/sensations in reaction to The Marion Method terminology - My realisation of how guilt/shame/judgement are designed to block the grieving process and perpetuate cultural conditioning - My rejection of the concepts of regulation, dysregulation, and window of tolerance - My experience of how hard/confronting/agonising I can find the re-parenting and re-culturing process, how it is in no way linear for me, YET how it has given me access to hope/joy/love/connection/laughter when I was unquestionably convinced that I was shackled to a life sentence of self loathing in relation to how my motherhood journey began. I found this to be an incredibly moving and powerful podcast, offering possibility for those parents who are going through deeply painful times at the moment, recognition for those who have gone through traumatic events in their birthing and parenting, and compassion for all of us. Much love xoxox

This continues the reparenting series (and reculturing too). It's part of The Marion Method, not Aware Parenting. In this episode, I talk about the process of change from Marion Method perspective, and how getting freer from Disconnected Domination Culture conditioning, and instead embracing lovingness and willingness, supports us to say no to what we don't want, and yes to what we do want. I share about the difference between wanting and willing, and not wanting and not being willing, about the gifts of jealousy, and about why we might be scared to have, do, or be what we really want. I include the metaphor of having one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake, and how we can support ourselves to know that we are safe while having, doing, or being what we really want. I talk about Looking Back and Looking Forward with Lovingness and Willingness, which is a self-paced offering that includes audios, PDFs and Evernotes, so you can choose how you go about it. If you're thinking of joining my Marion Method Membership, I recommend doing this first. The link is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/looking-back-looking-forward-lovingness-and-willingness/ If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD