The Christian Working Woman

Did you realize being open-minded can be very harmful if that means your thoughts are out of control and take you places you really don’t want to go. As Christians we need to learn to bring our thoughts into captivity and think within biblically prescribed limits, because what we think is what we are. I’m encouraging you to think about what you think about. In Philippians 4:8 we are given clear boundaries—important guardrails for our thought life. The first one is true. Untrue thoughts are not allowed, and that includes the untrue speculations and imaginings that we often indulge in. For example, do you imagine the worst and worry about things that have not yet occurred? You are not thinking true thoughts when you do. The second guardrail is noble, which means honorable, dignified, excellent. It’s possible to think something that is true, but not honorable. For instance, thinking “gossipy” thoughts about others, even if the facts are true, is not honorable thinking. There’s a third limit set on our thinking, and that is right. All of us dislike unfair treatment. And yet how often do we allow ourselves to think unfair, unjust thoughts about others. Sometimes we have prejudiced thinking toward people, even toward other races and cultures. That kind of thinking is not right. Then, our thoughts must also be pure. This covers immoral thoughts and sexual fantasies. No one is immune to these thoughts, and our society certainly promotes them. It is necessary to make certain our thoughts are pure. Next comes lovely. Is your thought life full of love, inspiring love or affection? Many times, our thoughts may pass all the other tests, but they’ll fall short on this point. In addition to true, noble, right, pure and lovely, our thoughts must be admirable or worthy of praise. If we could read what you were thinking, would we admire your thoughts? The guardrails are clear. Now, our challenge is to bring our thoughts into captivity—to stay within these guardrails.

You have everything you need. A good job, a house, the car that you want. Individual freedom to follow your dreams, be who you want to be, do what you want to do, go where you want, when you want, dress in the latest fashion—the god of freedom, an idol. Your desires define your path. That is your identity. And each day you strive to build on this identity because it isn’t fixed. It evolves based on what you feel and think. There is no rest in this identity. It is an endless pursuit of self. The idol of self isn’t like other things we can point to because the finish line is ever moving. We always want to be something or someone more than we are. How much are you thinking about these things? But when did this thinking of self begin? Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, “’You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil (Genesis 3:1-5). Eve. She desired to be something she wasn’t, having knowledge of good and evil like God. It wasn’t because there wasn’t perfectly good fruit in the rest of the garden. Eve fell to the idol of self. Satan got her to overthink about all she could have but didn’t. From that moment on, humanity began the race with itself, to run continually seeking to be something we are not. Overthinking about ourselves and forgetting to think about God. God created us in his image but not to be gods. Our present cultural norm of self-sufficiency says we don’t need anyone or anything to be successful. God? Why would you need God in your everyday decisions and thinking? What we forget is this deception in thought started in the Garden of Eden. The basic definition of self-sufficient is problematic in and of itself. “Needing no help in satisfying one’s basic needs, like food.” Last I checked, we are very dependent on not only others, but also on things wildly outside of our human control when it comes to food. Last I checked, we don’t control the rain or sunshine required to grow crops. While we have created technologies to help supply water when there isn’t any for crops or livestock during a drought, we control less than we believe. The secondary definition of self-sufficient is emotionally and intellectually independent. Eve was seeking intellectual independence when she ate the forbidden fruit. She wanted self-sufficiency. When I think about the Garden of Eden and the beauty, provision and abundance described, my mind drifts off to a place where there was peace and a oneness with the Lord. Yet Eve was tempted. In perfect communion with the Lord, she wanted intellectual independence from God! Thanks to Eve, we don’t live in Eden, and ever since the fall, the volume of temptation to self-sufficiency has been dialed up to a fevered pitch with everything in our midst competing against our thoughts of God! Peace and oneness with him seem elusive, even for those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Our days are filled with temptation to lean into idols that make us overthink about ourselves and think less about Jesus! Let’s call these the idols of self. Basically, anything that prioritizes thinking of “self” above everything and everyone else, most importantly, thinking about yourself more than God. That fevered noise in our culture about how we can overthink ourselves is anything but peaceful. Appearance. How much are you thinking each day about your appearance? Has this become an idol of self? This can manifest in so many ways so let’s just consider a few. Wanting to dress professionally and look nice for work is one thing, but has this become something that takes up a lot of your thinking? Do you worry about what other people are wearing? Do you comment on other people when they are dressed differently? What about your hair and makeup? Are you skipping devotional time with the Lord to make sure you look the best? Are you watching fashion reels on social media or shopping online instead of reading your Bible? Do you seek attention by what you are wearing and get an extra charge when someone compliments the way you look? On average, women spend between $1,500-$2,000 on clothing and $1,000-$3,700 on beauty products and services annually. Again, this is average, and most studies will tell you the more you make at work, the more you will spend on average. Other costs to consider are gym memberships and other cosmetic services many women are using to stay looking their best! None of this is truly “bad” but when you overthink it and it becomes an idol, anything good can quickly become a slippery slope leading you away from your identity in God and closer to what our noisy culture is demanding of you. Remember the Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). If you overthink your appearance, what does this indicate about your heart? Sovereignty. Are you someone that always thinks you are right? Is the sovereignty of self an idol for you? Even believers of Jesus can get caught in this overthinking that lives to expect others to function by their own moral compass. Even if your compass is Jesus, are you lording over people with your views and pushing them away from the true gospel with your rules instead of being loving. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers (Titus 1:10). The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth (1 Timothy 4:1-3). God’s Word says these people must be rebuked! You cannot add “your rules” to God’s truth! Lately, we have seen people’s thoughts on full display through social media. Somehow, we have mixed culture and politics with a message about Jesus that truly does not add up. Judgements when others don’t believe what we do or how we do are quick. When you spend time overthinking how other people aren’t like you or doing what you want them to do instead of focusing on how God would want you to show up to those that are different from you, sovereignty of self may be an idol. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor (James 4:12)? We are not supposed to be the judge of others. This doesn’t mean we should shy away from providing good feedback to others in a non-judgmental way, but we need to avoid thinking we are the end all be all! The only truth is in the Word of God! Only God can truly change things and the more we overthink about our way being the right way, the less we remember God’s way! Self-Promotion/Pride. Unfortunately, many who are overthinking about their way being the right way have a significant platform for self-promotion. Even if you don’t suffer with thoughts of self-sovereignty, are you thinking a lot about your next social media post or how many views, likes and follows you have? Is the idol of self-promotion taking ahold of your time? If you post something that you feel good about, are you overly disappointed if it doesn’t perform well? Maybe you only receive one “like”. How does this shift your mood? Are you angry or discouraged? On the other end of the spectrum, let’s say you have a following on social media—many likes and many follows. Are you spending more time thinking about these followers than you are about God? Beyond social media, how are you promoting yourself up at work? Do you think about the next meeting and how you will comment or get noticed? Do you worry when you don’t get the last word or when another colleague receives accolades? If you lead a team, how do you balance taking credit or giving it? Are you an I or a we colleague? I did this or we worked together… The Bible consistently warns about self-promotion and pride and not thinking of others. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted (Matthew 23:12). Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends (2 Corinthians 10:17-18) Remembering pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18). In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are; there is no God (Psalm 10:4). Bottom line, if you are thinking about exalting yourself and how it makes you feel, good or bad, more than you are thinking about what God tells you to do in his Word, you are overthinking about yourself! Covetousness. Do you spend a lot of time thinking about things you want or don’t have? Even covetousness, a fancy word for jealousy, can be another way of overthinking about yourself. Described as a harmful spirit in 1 Samuel, jealousy can “rush upon us” when we least expect it. In 1 Samuel we learn how Saul is truly jealous of the attention David is receiving retuning from war. He is jealous of how people follow David, so much so that he seeks to harm David both directly and by sending him off to more conflict. Jealousy can create so many thoughts. I wish I had clothes like her. If only, I had the opportunities so and so had. I really like that car that he drives. How can I get these things, or how can I take the good attention away from someone else and get this spotlight on me?! Are you like Saul? Jealous and overthinking about how you wish someone wasn’t as prosperous as you? Are you plotting ways to tear them down? Has a harmful spirit rushed upon your thinking? James 3:16 tells us where jealousy and selfish ambition exist there will be disorder and every vile practice. And this is not God’s will for us! Remember, our God will supply every need of ours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). God also chooses who he will exalt and when. We are just called to follow him! Overthinking about ourselves is isolating. Whether we are overconsumed thinking about our appearance, thinking we are always right, deciding how we can promote ourselves, or coveting what someone else has, we are simply overthinking about ourselves! All these ways of overthinking don’t draw us closer to God or others. These patterns of overthinking can lead to isolation and even depression. We were created for unity with God and community with other believers. Now, how can we shift this overthinking? Releasing ourselves from the culture driven notions that self is the central most important part of our life is first. People and things can never provide for our central happiness! Seeking praise from others will always disappoint us! The gospel is the direct antithesis of the culture of self-idolatry. Jesus invites us to a beautiful life of thinking about him! Start with abiding. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing (John 15: 4-5). Abide in my love (John 15:9). In Jesus, you will bear much fruit! Without him, you will do nothing. Remember why you exist. It isn’t to think about yourself. You were made for God. Life itself is amazing—a gift from God each day. Turning your overthinking about yourself to thinking about God will bring joy and fulfillment beyond what you can fathom!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Do you excuse things that contradict your faith? What is important to God doesn’t have a label or a party. It is not a temporary term, nor can it be solved by human hands. Being true to Christ means standing for truth and justice and being honest about the temporary parties and candidates we may be supporting. The politics of the day are quick to point out the “sins” of one candidate but excuse the actions of the other. Consider these verses in John 8. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now, in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So, what do you say? This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And, as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is among you be the first to throw a stone at her. And, once more, he bent down and wrote on the ground. But, when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him (John 8:3-9). Behaving like the scribes and the Pharisees, are you excusing sin of a candidate in the name of perceived better alignment with your faith? This can be another indication that politics have become an idol. All sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Jesus calls us to recognize our own sins. I don’t think it is a mistake the woman who committed adultery was standing one on one with Jesus when all the others had walked away. Jesus is the only judge and the only true “cure” for sin! How can you point someone toward salvation if you are excusing the sins of man in the name of winning? Instead of making excuses or comparing sins between parties, point out all sin is just that—sin in the eyes of God! There isn’t one better or worse. While we know the woman in John 8 was an adulteress, we don’t know the sins of the scribes and Pharisees. What we do know is they didn’t challenge Jesus to make excuses for their sin being better or less than adultery! Focus on telling people how you pray for the candidate’s recognition of their sin instead!

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Is your wellbeing impacted when a specific candidate or political party that isn’t your preference has success? Are you bitter or depressed? Before we talk more about these emotions, I want you to consider what you are consuming. Specifically, if you analyze your last week, have you spent more time watching shows that talk about politically polarizing matters than you have spent in God’s word? Are you listening to political podcasts, watching political reels on social media and endlessly watching replays of some event that has caused the latest uproar in your community or in the country? In 2025 a Pew Research study found that Americans reported 70% of the news consumed is related to government and politics! Overconsuming media that causes angst will most certainly impact how you feel. The weight you place on what you see on TV and social media and hear on a podcast or the radio can be an indication that politics is taking up way too much time. Colossians 3:2 reminds us we need to set our minds on things above and not on earthly things. We need to keep our identity focused on Christ and an eternal perspective to keep us balanced as we consume the mountain of political and government news on our screens both by choice and not. This doesn’t mean we consume nothing, but we must pay attention to how it makes us feel. When we see perceived wins and losses in the spotlight, it is important to remember we are not to put our trust in princes or any human powers that cannot save (Psalm 146:3). Being overly obsessed with a political outcome or seeing your candidate win takes your focus away from seeing the people around you that you could be leading to a saving relationship with Jesus. And it can seem like you are breaking one of God’s commandments. I am the Lord your God, thou shalt not have any God’s before me (Exodus 20:3). Are you making a candidate a higher priority than God? Consider showing up for work after your preferred candidate experiences a setback or loss. How is your mood? Would your colleagues want to be around you or avoid you? Do you feel like you need to talk excessively about the results of this matter or can you let these earthly powers fade away so you can give a testimony about your faith? Talking about God more than politics and keeping our eyes focused on things above can help keep us away from politics as an idol.

How’s your attitude at work? Attitudes are contagious. But the question is: Would anyone want to catch yours? I believe this is one of the areas we can have a strong witness on our jobs, if we can keep our attitudes where they should be. I’m thinking one of the toughest situations to deal with—one that can really affect your attitude—is when you work with someone who gripes and complains all the time. I mean, how do you keep from developing a bad attitude when that’s what you hear all day long? It’s the person who loves disasters and crises! They can turn a good day into a bad one in a minute. I’ve run into this kind of person on a job or two of mine. They gripe about everything and everybody and seem to really enjoy spreading any bad news they can dig up. Even when there’s something good happening, they’ll find something wrong and do their best to spoil it for everyone else. That person can get on your nerves after a while! Have you noticed when you see this person coming, you tend to get real busy or walk in the other direction? A complaining person is not someone you love to be with. We Christians can complain and gripe as good as the next person. I know how easily I can fall into that negative complaining mode. There’s a verse in the Bible that addresses this issue: Do everything without complaining or arguing (Philippians 2:14). Everything leaves no wiggle room, because it includes your unfair wages, the difficult boss, the annoying coworker, the way the company treats you, and even the weather! Complaining is such a waste of energy, and it’s stressful on you as well as everyone around you! What can a Christ-follower do if he or she works with an eternal complainer? You need to monitor yourself and not complain! If you’re able to walk away or stay away from the complaining conversation that would help. Or maybe you are able to steer the conversation and brainstorm a solution, but sometimes that’s not possible. Sometimes you need to set up some boundaries—especially if you’ve tried other tactics. A person who does her job without complaining is one of the strongest testimonies we can have for Jesus Christ. It says something about your integrity. I think complaining can easily slide into gossip, and you really don’t want to go there. Studies show almost half of the people in the workplace report they really don’t like their jobs. I can just visualize those thousands and thousands of people headed out to their jobs each day dreading it. If you start your day with discouraging thoughts—telling yourself how much you don’t like your job—the people you work with can see your bad attitude in your face and hear in your voice. Because you don’t like your job so much, and maybe there’s some good reasons for that, you probably won’t do your job as well as you should and your performance will suffer. When you regularly don’t do your job as well as you could, that is not only dishonest, but it’s also a bad testimony. You really can’t cover up a bad attitude. It keeps coming through even when you don’t realize it. If someone is stuck in a job they really don’t like, they probably have told themselves they have abundant reasons for not liking their job. Could be the work itself—maybe they find it boring and dull? Or could it be the environment or the people they work with? It could be there are some unhelpful or a difficult boss. We can think of lots of reasons, or excuses, that make us feel like we have a right to complain about our job! It’s amazing how we can deceive ourselves—tell ourselves things that make us feel less guilty when we know we’re not representing Jesus well. As our culture is prone to say, we have a right to our bad attitude. But whatever the reason, as Christians, we don’t have such a right. We are obligated by our commitment to the principles of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to work with all our might at whatever we’re doing, because ultimately, we’re working for the Lord, not for people. What would you say to the person who has been hating her job lately? First, remember God can help you with an attitude adjustment. You may not be able to change the things you don’t like about your job, but you can, by God’s grace, change your attitude. Your attitude is your choice. There’s another thing I’ve noticed in myself and others, and that is how upset we get over the uncontrollable things that happen in our days! It’s one of our major energy leaks, and it can really ruin your attitude. I once read if you will control the controllable, you can cope with the uncontrollable. But how often do we get upset or irritated over things which are totally out of our control? Take note the next time you’re irritated by someone or something. Are you losing it over an uncontrollable thing or person? I think you may be surprised to discover how often it happens. It’s a total waste of time and energy. Trying to control the uncontrollable is a futile effort and all it does is put you in a bad mood. Then, while we’re fretting over things which you cannot control, you are losing control of the things you can control. For example, we can control our words and avoid saying things that upset or discourage others. But when we’re trying to control the uncontrollable, we often lose control of the words we say and end up saying things that are hurtful or discouraging. We can control how we think and bring every thought into captivity, but when we’re trying to control the uncontrollable, we lose control of our thoughts and start thinking of all kinds of negative, unkind, and untrue things. We must remember this: if we will control the controllable, we can cope with the uncontrollable. Focus on staying in control of the things that are your responsibility; when you do, you’ll have the strength to cope with those uncontrollable events in your day. How do you do that? The Apostle Paul gave us some very good advice: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7). If we really practice this principle on our jobs, we’ll have very good work attitudes, and in the process, we’ll reduce our stress, improve our productivity, and enhance our witness for the Lord. God’s Word is relevant to the uncontrollable things that will happen to you today; don’t forget it. The thing I’ve heard most heard from people is the problems they have with people. It reminds me of Charlie Brown’s famous quote: “I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand!” It just amazes me how many people don’t think like I think, don’t see things the way I see them, don’t hold the same obviously correct opinion that I hold! Scroll through social media long enough, and it’s easy to think: “Why doesn’t everyone see the world the way I do?” Often these conflicts can ruin our attitudes and drag us down rather quickly. We need some biblical responses to help us keep our attitudes where they should be—positive and full of grace. One thing I have learned to do when some person is bringing me down is to put them in another frame. To see them differently. This is a wonderful way to keep your attitude in good shape, and it’s right out of God’s Word: If you believe in goodness and if you value the approval of God, fix your minds on whatever is true and honorable and just and pure and lovely and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8, J. B. Phillips). Often when we must deal with unpleasant people, we focus so much on their negative qualities that we totally lose sight of their good ones. Another Bible translation says to think about the good reports. I love that phrase, because so often, I’m prone to think about the bad reports. The person who is causing you trouble right now—there is some good report about him or her if you’ll just look for it. Make yourself think about the good report, the new frame you’ve put them in. You’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to get along with them. Once you get used to this practice of re-framing people who are difficult, you’ll discover the great side benefits: Reduced stress, less anxiety, better sleep, happier days. You will benefit more than anyone else when you learn to re-frame and think about the good reports, not just the bad ones. Another thing I’ve noticed is the lack of gratitude—being thankful for your job, for all the good things God has given us. We can get so focused on the negative things about our jobs or other people, that we forget the good things. Gratitude is so important and will go a long way in keeping our attitudes in good shape. Lately I’ve become even more conscious of how important it is to simply be thankful. To thank God for all his goodness; and to thank others who contribute good to our lives. The Apostle Paul wrote: Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything… (Ephesians 5:19-20). Give thanks for everything. That’s clear. Aren’t you glad Paul didn’t say we are to feel thankful, because often those feelings just aren’t there? But we can still choose to be thankful by reciting words of thanks and refusing to allow our attitudes to get into the griping pits. It’s good to remind ourselves we have a choice each day as to what our attitude will be for that day. It’s so much more pleasant and peaceful and stress-free to keep our attitudes in good shape. Our attitudes are our choice, and we should make it a matter of daily prayer.

Having held several positions with very different managers, I look back and acknowledge some mistakes I’ve made in dealing with them. I want to help you in dealing with your manager. Mistake No. 6: Going Over Your Manager’s Head When I worked in IBM, we had an open-door policy. This simply meant any employee was empowered to go to their boss with any complaint, suggestion, or question, because the door was always open. However, the rule was you go first to your immediate supervisor, and if for some reason that was not satisfactory, then you could go to the next level of management. But if you decided to go over your manager’s head and talk first to their manager, you would be immediately advised to first talk to your manager before taking it any further, and it would not be well received if you didn’t do it that way. This open-door policy is a good one, I believe, in keeping communications open and allowing for grievances to be resolved. But first talk to your immediate manager. Don’t go over their head. You may feel your manager will not listen and will not do anything about your situation, but until you have tried to resolve it on that level, it will almost always be a mistake to bypass your manager and go to the next level. Mistake No. 7: Failing to Pay Attention to the “Small Stuff” Remembering that perception equals reality, if you fail to do the things that create good impressions, you will do harm to yourself and your career. For example, dressing appropriately for your position. I know casual attire is very acceptable in many work environments, but even if that is true where you work, your casual attire needs to be neat, clean, modest, and coordinated. Looking sloppy or careless won’t do you any good. Go the extra mile, if necessary, to give the perception that you care how you look and you take time to make a professional appearance. Take clues from your manager. If he or she dresses very professionally, that tells you they expect and respect that kind of appearance from those who work for them. Someone has said it’s smart to dress a level above your position. That might be good advice in some organizations, and it would demonstrate you are serious about moving up in the company.

How well do you get along with your boss? I’m sharing some advice to help you get along with whoever is in authority over you. We already noted how important it is not to complain about your boss. Here is mistake number two. Mistake No. 2: Showing Up Your Boss It seems some people think they have to show up the boss in order to make a name for themselves, but intentionally trying to outshine your boss is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. The exception to this would be if you discover your boss is corrupt or illegal in some way, which is rare. Otherwise, it is in your best interest to make your boss look good. Think of ways to make their job easier; when you can, go the extra mile to take some workload off them. They can help you or harm you, so be sure to avoid this mistake. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time (1 Peter 5:6). Making your boss look good may indeed require some humility on your part, where you don’t get the credit you think you deserve. But it is one way to humble yourself, and that is a Christian discipline we all need to practice. Mistake No. 3: Not Understanding Generational Differences No doubt you have discovered different generations see things very differently! And frequently your manager’s generation is not the same as yours. Whether older or younger, you can make some serious mistakes in dealing with your manager if you don’t understand and make allowances for these generational differences. For example, punctuality doesn’t seem to be as important to younger generations as it is to us in the older groups. We older types put a high value on being on time for work, for meetings, meeting deadlines, etc. Younger generations seem to be more “laid back,” as we say, and have an attitude that if the job gets done, we shouldn’t worry about such small things as being on time. Believe me, if your boss thinks punctuality is important, you should make it important. I have observed people who truly did great harm to their careers simply by being unwilling to conform to reasonable expectations from their boss or company. Remember what I said yesterday—it’s your job to get along with your boss not your boss’s job to get along with you. That may sound a little strange to you, but for the most part, it is good advice.

Don’t think for yourself. I realize that sounds very backwards. How could it be right not to think for yourself? I certainly don’t mean we should allow others to think for us. That’s not what I’m saying. That’s just as dangerous or more so than thinking for ourselves. But when you and I understand the importance our thoughts play in our lives, then we start to understand how critical it is for us to think correctly. Our thought life is the place where everything else begins. Our actions begin with thoughts; our words begin with thoughts; our attitudes are formed by thoughts; our emotions are controlled by our thoughts. As we are reminded in Proverbs 23:7, what we think is what we are. Therefore, we need to be very certain we are thinking right! In order to think correctly, we’ve got to formulate our thoughts based on truth, based on someone we can trust, based on principles which are right and good. Now, I’d like to think I can trust my own self to think correctly, but the more I get to know me and the more I understand my human nature, the more I realize I am not qualified to think for myself. The Bible says in my own natural flesh there dwells nothing good of itself. I know I’m inclined to sin, inclined to be selfish, inclined to take the easy way out, etc. And besides the problem of the sinfulness of my nature, there are the limitations of my understanding and wisdom, which can cause me to think incorrectly if I think for myself. Therefore, if I try to delude myself into believing I’m capable of thinking for myself, I’ll discover it leads me into some real difficulties. Instead of “Think for yourself,” our motto should be “Think biblically!” Then and only then can we be certain our thinking is right, because the Bible is God’s truth, and the only reliable source for us. People who claim to think for themselves rarely do just that. When you see someone rebelling against their parents, or against rules and regulations or authority of some kind, or going off into some deep end, they often use the excuse “I’m thinking for myself and nobody’s going to tell me how to think anymore.” But what’s really happening is they are allowing some other person or group to tell them how to think instead of the ones who have been influencing their thinking up to that point. Rarely are they truly thinking for themselves. Don’t be misled by the attractiveness of this commonly-held belief that we should think for ourselves. It certainly appeals to our proud human nature, but it leads us to place a confidence in our ability to think correctly. The sad news is most of us don’t always think correctly on our own. We are all influenced by the world around us, the attitudes of others, the majority viewpoint, and in addition, our thought life is polluted by our own sinful nature. Add all that up, and you realize not only is it dangerous to think for ourselves, it’s also fairly impossible, for our thinking is inevitably a result of other influences. For Christians, we need to be certain our thinking is shaped by the Word of God and that we are influenced by what God has to say. There was one particular occasion in Peter’s life when he was thinking for himself, and the Lord rather sharply rebuked him for it. The story is found in Matthew 16 where Jesus is explaining it is necessary for him to be killed. Peter didn’t like that idea, so we read that Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” (Matthew 16:22-23) In Peter’s mind, it would have been a total catastrophe if Jesus were killed. That wasn’t the plan at all, as Peter saw it. So, controlled by his human way of thinking, Peter began to rebuke Jesus; we’d say he gave him a “piece of his mind.” Unfortunately, by doing that, Peter demonstrated that his mind was under the wrong control and influence. In fact, Jesus said Peter had become an instrument of Satan by even suggesting Calvary was not necessary. Satan wants to control all our thinking, because he knows we are controlled by our thought life. Therefore, keeping us from thinking biblically is one of his primary objectives. Who is influencing your thinking today? Modern humanistic philosophies? People who are not godly? Ideas and attitudes that have been passed on to you by friends or family who don’t know the Lord? Even other Christians who are not thinking biblically? Check it out. Whatever controls or influences how you think is, in reality, controlling you to some degree. Romans 12 tells us we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, we read we are to bring every thought into captivity, not let our thoughts run wild and free. Learning to think biblically should be the highest priority for every Christian. An obvious question is “What is biblical thinking?” Philippians 4:8 is a good place to start. It clearly defines what we should think about, and here’s the list: Things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Now, I’d like to mention some areas of wrong thinking which don’t meet these criteria. Have you noticed how often we can start imagining what may or may not happen in the future? I can find myself playing out a whole scenario in my mind of the worst-case possibilities, and before I know it, I’m really worried and upset over what might happen to me. That is untruthful thinking; it is imagining the future and allowing those imaginations to cause me to be fearful. Many Christians have started to think very lightly of immorality because immoral lifestyles have become acceptable in our society. Someone was describing a movie to me and commented that a couple in the movie was having an affair, but this person noted it wasn’t the usual sordid kind of affair; it was a tender, more genteel kind. That’s an example of allowing the morals of our culture to invade our mind and cause us to think unbiblically. Any kind of affair should be viewed as impure and wrong by a person who is thinking biblically. Honesty is another area that has been under heavy attack in our society over the last few years. People tend to think of lying as relative; in other words, the situation determines whether it’s right or wrong to lie. And there’s the idea that little lies don’t really do any harm. I notice a great deal of our entertainment treats lying humorously. With all that around us, it’s easy for us to think about lying and honesty in unbiblical ways. How about it? Can you see some areas in your own life where your thinking has been influenced by the world around you, and you’ve lost your biblical mind? Part of the great gift of God to us when we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior is the presence of God’s Holy Spirit living within us, and therefore, Paul says, we have the mind of Christ. That means we’re able to think like Jesus thinks. In order to think biblically, we must first of all have this mind of Christ within us. You can’t think biblically without the power of the Holy Spirit. Then, we must learn to carefully control what we allow into our minds, for the input determines the output. The computer world has taught us if you put garbage in, you get garbage out! Only as we feed our minds with the right things can we expect to think biblically. We will think about what we read, what we hear, and what we see, so if we are hearing, reading and seeing things that are not in conformity to biblical principles, obviously we’re going to think wrongly. You can fail miserably if you allow all kinds of immorality and impurity to be poured into your mind through television, videos, books, movies, podcasts, etc. It takes careful screening of the input into our minds in order to think biblically. It also takes what I call the Replacement Theory. When we start to think wrongly, and we know we should change, we must be able to replace the wrong thought with the right one. It’s almost impossible to just stop thinking about something, but if you start thinking about something else, then you can be successful at replacing the wrong thought with the right thought. That takes a set of your will to say: “I will not think about this any longer; I will think instead of this.” Many times, I actually talk out loud to myself and say, “Come on, Mary, you know you shouldn’t think about that. Now, stop it and think about this instead.” I can tell you the Replacement Theory works! There’s so much more to say about right thinking. In fact, I’ve written a book entitled Think About What You Think About. You’ll find more information about it on our website, or you can order it from Amazon. I believe it will help you to learn how to think biblically, and if I can help you do that, I’ve done you a very big favor. Remember, thinking for yourself can get you into lots of difficulty. But thinking biblically will enable you to make good choices, right decisions, live a godly life, and know the peace and contentment that comes from right thinking. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace (Romans 8:5-6). Biblically thinking guarantees us life and peace. I’d say the return on your investment is very profitable, and I encourage you to join me in a daily commitment to think biblically.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body (Proverbs 16:24). If we all made it a daily practice to think before we speak, our words would be more gracious, and gracious words have power to bring peace in stressful situations and healing to our bodies, because stress is reduced by gracious words. To help us prevent words coming out before we think about them, we are offering a simple wristband that says think. My hope is by wearing this wristband, you will be reminded to pay attention to what you are getting ready to say and make sure it is appropriate. And we’re using an acronym of the word think to help us evaluate our words. T is for true; speak only what is true. H is for helpful; make sure your words will benefit those you speak to. I means speak inspiring words that will encourage others. And now: N is for necessary: Speak only what is necessary. In other words, don’t talk too much. Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues (Proverbs 10:19). But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12:36-37). Talking too much can be a real problem. They tell us that women talk more than men, and if that is true, we women need to be doubly careful about how much we say. We don’t need to fill empty spaces with empty words. Silence can indeed be golden, and for those of us who are talkers, we need to take seriously this exhortation to speak only what is necessary. I think we’re all aware that a person who talks too much is not a person we particularly enjoy being with. Listening to others is the skill we want to develop, so we give others the respect of listening to them instead of inflicting our unnecessary words on anyone who happens to be near. Before you speak, think “Is it necessary?” You’ll probably say fewer words!

The Bible says the tongue has the power of life and death. When we speak before we think, we often use our tongue as a death weapon. I’m encouraging you to think before you speak, and we’ve even made some bracelets for you to wear which say think. It’s a good reminder to carry with you all day, so before you speak you make certain what you say needs to be said and is said in the best possible way. This acrostic for think will help you think before you speak. We already saw T stands for true. Speak only what you know to be true. H stands for helpful: Are the words you’re just getting ready to say going to help anyone? If not, don’t say them. Ephesians 4:29 is one of the most powerful verses in the Bible, in my opinion, and if we practiced it, we would think before we speak. It says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29). Some time ago I began praying this verse into my life, and I encourage you to do the same. Then I noticed when I would start to say something, I would often hear that inaudible voice of God’s Spirit saying, “Is this going to help anyone else; will it benefit those who listen?” That has caused me to stop in the middle of lots of sentences, as I realized I didn’t need to say what I was planning to say because it wasn’t helpful to anyone else. Can you even imagine the wonderful changes that would take place on our jobs, in our churches, and in our homes if we determined not to speak any words that were unwholesome, that did not benefit others? That would eliminate griping and complaining; it would keep us from nagging people; it would cause us to stop passing on gossip. My goodness, it would make a difference in the way we live. Think about what you’re going to say before you say it. It’s so much easier to swallow those unhelpful words than it is to try to recover from them once they are said. If it’s not helpful, just don’t say it.

For quite a few years I have been telling this on-going fictional story of Fran and how she learns to turn to Jesus for wisdom and guidance in every area of her life. Fran is a young widow, a single mom with two children, and a demanding job. Through the struggles of her everyday life, she is learning to practice the presence of Jesus and look to him for guidance in every area of her life. Today is not such a good day for Fran. In fact, she is at the point of tears as she comes back to her office from a business meeting with her most important client. Closing her door, she plops in her chair and brushes away a tear that tries to escape. “Why did he say that to me?” she says out loud to herself. “Why would he be so cruel to me? I worked so hard on that promotion, and he shot it down without even listening to my idea!” “Feelings hurt today?” Jesus softly asks, though of course he has no need to know since he knows everything. Fran is again reminded of his abiding presence in her life. “Well, I don’t know if it’s my feelings that were hurt…” she stammers; “I think it was the crass insensitivity and unprofessionalism of Mr. Andrews. He was unnecessarily brutal.” “Your feelings are hurt, Fran,” Jesus states. “Might as well admit it; nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone gets their feelings hurt from time to time.” “Well, yeah, I guess he hurt my feelings. I mean, I’ve worked so hard for that account, and before this, he liked everything I did,” Fran explains. “Now out of the blue he hits me with this response—so unfair, you know.” “What exactly did he say?” Jesus asks. “You were there, Lord,” Fran replies, with a bit of frustrated sarcasm. Jesus laughs. “Yes, but it would be good for you to repeat what has upset you so much.” Fran feels ashamed of her inappropriate reaction. “I’m sorry. He said I had not researched this promotion adequately, and he was not comfortable going with my idea until I did my homework.” “And what was wrong with that comment?” Jesus asked. “What was wrong? I had an entire report backing up my idea. I did my homework. I always do my homework. That’s what’s gotten me where I am; everybody knows Fran does the job right,” Fran responds. “A bit defensive, are we?” Jesus quietly asks. Fran doesn’t like where this conversation is heading, so she suddenly gets busy with her work. “Nobody understands me,” she mumbles to herself, all the time knowing it’s not true. She’s not yet ready to give up her pity party! As she’s leaving the office that afternoon, her friend, Alice, pops in. “Hi, want to grab some pizza tonight with the kids?” “Oh, Alice, I’m so glad you came by,” Fran lights up. “I was going to call you and see if you could come over tonight. I need to talk with you.” “What about?” she asks. “Oh, I had a rough meeting with Mr. Andrews. I need some advice,” she replies. They make plans for Alice to get the pizza while Fran picks up her children. After a time with the kids, some homework assignments, and a Bible story, Fran gets Drew and Alice to bed. Then the two of them settle down for their long talk. “Okay, let me have it,” Alice says. Tears start to come to her eyes again and Fran says, “Oh, it’s probably no big deal but Mr. Andrews really let me have it today in front of everybody. You know that big promotion I’ve been working on? Well, he said I didn’t have sufficient research to proceed. He told me to ‘take it back to the drawing board,’ to use his words. He said there were too many unanswered questions.” Fran pauses and looks at Alice, waiting for her response, still fighting to hold back her tears. Alice nods and says, “And…” “And what?” Fran raises her voice. “Isn’t that enough?” “Well, I mean, is that all he said?” Alice asks. “Don’t you think it was very rude and unprofessional of him? I mean, in front of everybody,” Fran says in frustration. “Who was there?” Alice asks. “His assistant, Bernie, and Jim from the Art Department,” Fran says. “Uh, huh,” Alice cautiously responds. “That’s not exactly ‘everybody’, Fran,” she says. “Oh, you just don’t understand, Alice!” Fran is angry. “I guess you’re thinking it was just an overreaction.” “Come on, Fran, give me a break,” Alice says. “How about giving me a break and trying to be understanding?” she says. “Okay, I want to be understanding, but I’m just not sure what Mr. Andrews said that upset you so much. Maybe you just had to be there or something.” Tears start down Fran’s face. “Alice, don’t you understand, he said I didn’t do a thorough job and…and…” “And you always do a thorough job,” Alice says quietly. “Yeah, I’m beginning to get it.” She quietly says, “Do you want me to pray about this with you?” Fran knows prayer is long overdue, but on the other hand, she doesn’t want to give up her pity party! However, she hesitatingly says, “Yeah, please pray.” As she listens to Alice’s prayer, Fran’s defenses start to break down. “Fran,” she hears the voice of Jesus, “truth sometimes hurts, but remember, truth sets you free.” Jesus has told her that before, but once again she needs to be reminded that facing the truth, painful as it may be, is always the best way to go. After Alice finishes, Fran prays, “Dear Jesus, I hate to admit it, but I’m wrong. I overreacted again. It’s one of my worst weaknesses, and I don’t think I’ll ever get control of it. Please forgive me. Mr. Andrews had every right to say what he did, and I just blew it out of proportion.” She finds it difficult to continue; Jesus whispers in her ear, “I understand; you don’t have to say any more.” “Thank you for understanding me even when I don’t understand myself,” she says as she finishes her prayer. Fran looks at Alice. “Do you think I’ll ever learn not to overreact?” she asks. “I mean, I seem to do it all the time. In retrospect I can see how silly it was of me to read so much into Mr. Andrew’s comments.” “Well, I think you delight the Lord because you’re always honest and real with him, Fran, and you come around fast,” she says. “I’ve never known anyone as honest with herself as you are.” “Really?” Fran is surprised. “I never thought about it that way.” “You’re such a good friend, Alice. I really appreciate your honesty with me and helping me see what I need to see about myself. You know, I was trying to tell my dad about it this afternoon on the phone, and he really didn’t get it. But I just attributed that to the difference in the way men and women handle things like this.” “What do you mean?” Alice asks. “Well,” Fran answers, “we women tend to be more subtle and careful about the words we choose because we know how easily our feelings can be hurt. I think men tend to simply state facts and let the chips fall where they may, so to speak. Therefore, what Mr. Andrews said about me not doing a complete job really hurt my feelings, but a man would see that as a simple directive—something to be expected. Don’t you think that’s true, Alice?” Alice thinks about it a minute. “Well, it sure makes men sound terribly insensitive, which they can be sometimes, I’m sure. But it’s also part of our personality and how much we are personally affected. I have to admit, I couldn’t see why you were that upset over it. But then again, it wasn’t me there having to listen to what he said, so I could just be more objective at that moment.” Fran starts to laugh. “Isn’t it crazy how differently we see things,” she comments. “His comment hurt my feelings so badly; I took it very personally, but you heard it as just a simple business decision. You’re right. When our toes are stepped on, it tends to feel much more personal!” Some good lessons learned. Proverbs 16:20 tells us, whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. You can see why Fran overreacted to her client’s remarks. He challenged her in the one area where Fran felt she excelled—her attention to details and her competence at doing her job. Fran has done very well in her company because of these good qualities, and subtly, without realizing it, she had started to take some pride in herself for her achievements. Pride is such a deceitful snare. It sneaks up on you while you’re not looking. The very gifts God gives us can become points of pride in our lives, when we begin to think we’ve done something ourselves. And so, this somewhat painful meeting Fran had with her client punctured that pride and the poison came oozing out. But, as humbling as it was, it was a very good lesson because Fran was able to see it for herself and recognize her pride before it got too far out of hand. Maybe you too need to learn to control your reactions. If you find yourself speaking hastily when you’re upset, getting your feelings hurt too easily or exaggerating incidents to be much larger than they are, start praying that God will help you not to overreact. Frankly, I’ve been praying that for myself for years and though I’m not there yet, I’ve made some progress in the right direction.

Why is it hard for us to say “no”? In her booklet on saying no without guilt, Alice Fryling points out “We get instant affirmation from saying yes. We get personal stimulation from the idea of meeting a challenge, using our gifts or tapping into our creativity, and we avoid the unpleasantness of having to say no.” This hits the nail on the head for me. I learned some years ago one reason I was trying to do so much was to hear the accolades and affirmation I received from others. Those comments feIt good; I liked them and I wanted more. I wanted the affirmation of people; it fed my ego and made me feel good about myself. But for years I was deceived and didn’t realize what was behind much of my activity—good activity, ministry activity. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians, am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10). You must decide who you are trying to please. If pleasing people is your goal, if you need the affirmation of others to feel good about yourself, you will always be in bondage to those people, whoever they are, and you will never fully succeed. It’s impossible to please people all the time, no matter how hard you try. But the good news is, it is possible to please God. And I’ve discovered that when my priority is to please God, I typically please more people that way than when I try to please people! Search your heart today if you are plagued by this difficulty of saying “no,” and ask God to reveal to you why it is so hard for you to say “no.” You may discover some unlovely motivations there, but in so doing, you will uncover truth that can set you free!