
372: The Fantasy of Fixing People Pt. 3
From The Connected Life by Justin and Abi Stumvoll
February 16, 2026 · 1h 5m
About this episode
The episode explores the subtle ways control manifests in relationships and the importance of allowing others to experience pain for their growth.
Most of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, codependency often looks like playing God , trying to save others from pain so we don't have to feel it ourselves. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the subtle ways control sneaks into relationships: when someone else's choices feel like a reflection on us, when regret from our past makes us overprotective, or when fear of future consequences drives us to intervene. Through honest stories about friends, family, and faith, they unpack why pain is sometimes the very teacher people need, and how trust, boundaries, and invitation create space for real growth. If you've ever exhausted yourself fixing others or confused control for love, this conversation will help you release the weight and find freedom in letting people be fully themselves. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
People in this episode
Hosts: Justin Stumvoll, Abi Stumvoll
Topics covered
- codependency
- relationships
- control
- personal growth
- trust
- boundaries
Keywords
- codependency
- control
- relationships
- personal growth
- trust
- boundaries
- pain
- freedom
More episodes of The Connected Life
- 371: The Savior Complex Trap Pt. 2 · February 9, 2026 · 1h 4m
- 370: Growing Up Codependent Pt. 1 · February 2, 2026 · 58 min
- 369: Emotional Immaturity in Relationships Pt.3 · January 26, 2026 · 1h 4m
- 368: Emotional Maturity: Letting Love In Pt. 2 · January 19, 2026 · 1h 3m
- 367: The Key to Emotional Maturity Pt. 1 · January 12, 2026 · 59 min
- 366: A Nervous System Reset · January 5, 2026 · 59 min
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