The Cost of Holding Space

The Cost of Holding Space

From The Dark Side with Verity by Verity Jo Coonan

February 15, 2026 · 20 min · Season 2 · Episode 12

About this episode

Verity Jo Coonan discusses the costs and transformations associated with holding space for others, emphasizing the importance of support and boundaries.

In this episode, Verity Jo Coonan explores the real cost of holding space and how that cost changes as capacity grows. Holding space is one of the most powerful skills a facilitator, coach, therapist, parent, partner, or friend can develop. But when it’s done without nervous system support, boundaries, and embodiment, it can quietly become exhausting. Verity reflects on the early years of facilitation, when holding space meant absorbing emotions, carrying stories, and needing to find ways to release after every session. She shares how this work transformed once she built real internal support and how holding space shifted from something that drained her to something that genuinely lights her up. In this conversation, Verity speaks to: Why burnout isn’t failure, it’s a capacity issue The emotional residue that often goes unspoken How the nervous system determines what can be held safely Why knowledge without embodiment isn’t sustainable And how holding space becomes energising when practitioners are truly resourced This episode is for the big-hearted humans the ones people naturally open up to, the ones who are often “the safe one,” and the ones learning how to hold others without…

People in this episode

Hosts: Verity Jo Coonan, Verity

Topics covered

  • holding space
  • burnout
  • nervous system
  • facilitation
  • emotional support

Keywords

  • capacity
  • embodiment
  • sustainability
  • emotional residue

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