The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today's episode, Heather invites you to rethink everything you've been taught about power poses, confidence, and presence. While the classic "hands-on-hips" stance is often linked to authority, this episode reveals a far more effective and far more compassionate power move: simply sitting down. Drawing from real experiences in leadership, advocacy, and high-stakes conversations, Heather shares how lowering yourself to someone else's level can transform interactions, build trust, and leave a lasting impact. From courtroom moments to everyday leadership lessons, you'll see why compassion, presence, and perspective are the true sources of personal power. Together, we explore why power doesn't require taking up more space, sometimes it is found in offering space to others. In this episode, you'll learn: The Real Power in Sitting Down Why sitting communicates presence, compassion, and connection more effectively than traditional "power poses." Compassion as a Leadership Superpower How compassion strengthens advocacy, relationships, and influence, and why people feel safer when you're willing to sit with them. The Psychology of Being at Eye Level How leveling the physical playing field changes energy, reduces intimidation, and allows genuine dialogue. Lessons from the Courtroom What a malpractice case taught Heather Hansen about human connection, and why a simple act like sitting on a patient's bed moved an entire jury. A Story Heather Hansen Never Forgot The emotional impact of a colleague and how 18 minutes of presence can change a life. Empathy vs. Compassion The difference between feeling what others feel and seeing what they see, and why action is what matters most. Why Slowing Down is the New Power Move In a world obsessed with speed, volume, and "looking powerful," Heather Hansen explains why slowing down, sitting down, and connecting deeply are the traits that build true charisma. In this episode: [00:00] Rethinking the classic power pose [01:10] Why the "stand big" approach isn't always effective [02:20] Compassion research in healthcare [03:17] A malpractice case and the power of sitting at the bedside [04:50] How sitting changes difficult conversations at work [05:39] The psychology of being on the same level [07:30] Joanne's story and the impact of presence [10:14] Compassion as the foundation of advocacy [12:40] Cognitive vs. affective empathy [14:30] Why sitting is the new power pose [15:08] How presence builds confidence and charisma Resources and Links: 🎥 Heather Hansen TEDx Talk on empathy and perspective Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Follow Heather on Facebook Connect with Heather on LinkedIn Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com

In today's episode, Heather Hansen explores one of the most powerful tools we have for connection, credibility, and healing: compassion. Drawing from research, courtroom experience, and two decades defending healthcare providers, Heather Hansen breaks down the real meaning of compassion and the specific actions that genuinely make people feel seen, heard, and supported. She also shares new insights from recent medical research on how compassion improves patient outcomes, reduces burnout for healthcare providers, and strengthens every relationship in your life. Whether you are a leader, parent, partner, clinician, or friend, these eight proven behaviors can transform the way you communicate and connect. In this episode, you'll learn: The Real Definition of Compassion – Why it is not about suffering with others, but about recognizing their struggle and taking action to relieve it. Eight Proven Compassion Behaviors – The research-backed actions that make people feel understood, respected, and supported. Why Tone Matters – How the way you speak communicates your energy and becomes a key sign of compassion. The Power of Nonjudgment – How dropping judgment makes people more open, honest, and trusting. Gender and Race Differences in Compassion Needs – What research shows women and people of color uniquely identify as compassionate behavior. Everyday Compassion – How to apply these actions at home, at work, and in your community to create meaningful change. In this episode: [00:00] Heather Hansen on being an Elegant Warrior and embracing life's challenges [02:00] Why compassion is one of the three pillars of credibility, compassion, and charisma [04:47] How compassion affects patient outcomes and healthcare burnout [07:10] The eight behaviors that signal compassion in medical research [09:34] Listening carefully and taking concerns seriously [11:59] Eye contact, presence, tone, and nonjudgment [14:09] Why the least judgmental people are the most trusted [16:36] Responding to opportunities to show compassion [18:30] What women uniquely perceive as compassionate [19:03] What people of color identify as signs of respect and compassion [21:26] How to create a ripple effect of compassion in your daily life Resources and Links: 📘 Book: Compassionomics by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak and Dr. Anthony Mazzarelli 📘 Book: Wonder Drug by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak and Dr. Anthony Mazzarelli Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Follow Heather on Facebook Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com

In today's episode, Heather sits down with John Lowry, lawyer, negotiation coach, and author of Negotiation Made Simple, to uncover what it really takes to become a confident, effective negotiator. John's experience as a professor at Pepperdine University's renowned Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, CEO of The Lowry Group, and consultant to major organizations gives him a unique lens into the psychology and strategy behind every great deal. Together, Heather and John explore how mastering negotiation isn't just about tactics; it's about managing yourself, understanding others, and learning to balance ambition with empathy. In this episode, you'll learn: The Inner Negotiation – Why the first and most important negotiation happens inside your own mind and how managing your emotions, fears, and self-talk determines your success. Cooperation vs. Competition – How to know when to lean into collaboration and when to assert your position with strength and clarity. The Power of Patience – Why "you often pay for the time you save" and how slowing down the process helps you make better, more strategic decisions. Axelrod's Four Steps to Effective Negotiation – Start cooperatively, respond in kind, forgive, and be clear. John and Heather unpack how these steps build trust and drive results. The Ambition + Empathy Equation – What Harvard research reveals about top dealmakers and how combining drive with understanding gives you a competitive edge. Real-World Lessons – Insights from John's work with executives, mediators, and organizations on how to use negotiation to build healthier relationships and stronger outcomes. In this episode: [00:00] Meet John Lowry – Lawyer, author, and negotiation expert [02:46] The first negotiation: managing yourself [06:17] When to cooperate and when to compete [10:47] Getting comfortable with uncertainty [14:49] Why patience pays in negotiation [18:00] Recognizing signals vs. words [22:14] Forgiveness and cooperation in business [26:29] Collaboration vs. cooperation explained [31:12] Building trust through clarity [35:20] Ambition and empathy, the twin pillars of great dealmakers Resources & Links: 📘 Book: Negotiation Made Simple by John Lowry 🎙️ Podcast: Negotiation Made Simple Podcast 🌐 The Lowry Group: lowrygroup.net Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today's episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one's all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask. If you've ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren't sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it's not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes. With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance, Heather shows you how to turn your next "ask" into a collaborative, impactful conversation that gets results. In this episode, you'll learn: What Charisma Really Is – It's not charm or popularity, it's the ability to get people to act. How to "Know Your Jury" – Why understanding your audience's pain points, needs, and goals changes everything about how you ask. The Power of Believing in Your Jury – How your energy and mindset shape the way others respond to you. Storytelling vs. Metaphors – Why the right metaphor can connect faster and hit deeper than a long story. The Role of Evidence – How to collect and create evidence to strengthen your case before you ask. Tone Over Body Language – The science behind why tone of voice carries more weight than posture or facial expressions. The "What Now?" Question – What to ask if your first request doesn't get a yes and how it helps you find your next step. Resources & Links: 📘 Free Guide: Advocate for Yourself at Work – Download Heather's companion workbook to put this three-part series into action. 🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources In this episode: [00:00] Welcome to Part 3: Mastering the Art of the Ask [01:15] What "charisma" actually means [04:45] Knowing your jury and why it matters [06:40] The difference between empathy and perspective [09:10] Believing in your jury before they believe in you [11:23] Why your words matter more than your body language [13:45] Storytelling vs. metaphor: what connects faster [16:10] How to collect and create evidence [18:30] The truth about tone of voice and energy [20:50] What to do when your ask doesn't get a yes [23:00] Putting it all together: the three steps of self-advocacy 💬 Quote of the Episode "Before you worry about them believing in you, try believing in them and see what a difference that makes." Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today's episode, Heather kicks off a special three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, whether you're seeking a raise, a promotion, or a new opportunity. Advocacy isn't just about asking, it's about asking in a way that makes you likely to get it. This first episode focuses on the foundation of self-advocacy: knowing what you want. Heather shares how clarity, specificity, and the courage to want what you want can completely change the way you approach your goals. Through real client stories and practical tools, she reveals why defining what you want is the key to every other step of advocacy and how small, strategic steps can lead to big wins. In this episode, you'll learn: The Three Steps of Advocacy – Why every successful ask starts with clarity, confidence, and follow-through. The Power of Specificity – How breaking your goal into smaller steps (and knowing who can give you each one) can change your results. Permission to Want What You Want – Why allowing yourself to desire something, even when it feels uncomfortable, is essential for growth. Redefining the Win – How success isn't just about getting the job or promotion, but building belief in yourself and evidence that you can do hard things. A Real-World Story – How one client went from dropping her resume on LinkedIn to securing multiple interviews and rediscovering what she truly wanted. Resources & Links: 📘 Free Download: Companion Guidebook-How to Advocate for Yourself at Work📚 Advocate to Win – Heather's book on mastering the art of self-advocacy🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources In this episode: [00:00] Welcome to the three-part series on self-advocacy [01:08] Why knowing what you want changes everything [03:30] From big dreams to actionable steps [05:52] A client's story: turning a resume drop into an opportunity [10:31] Learning to want what you want [15:17] Redefining what it means to "win" [17:40] Believing you have your own back [19:58] What's next: Step two, asking for what you want out loud and with delight 💬 Quote of the Episode "Knowing what you want is the foundation of advocating for yourself. When you allow yourself to want what you want, you've already begun to win." Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In today's episode, Heather answers a powerful question from her Instagram community: How do I advocate for myself without bragging? This is a challenge so many of us, especially women, face. How do you share your gifts, your expertise, and your accomplishments with confidence and authenticity without feeling arrogant? Heather breaks it down into three core strategies that will help you shift your mindset and your approach so you can advocate with grace, clarity, and impact. In this episode, you'll learn: Talk About the Thing, Not Yourself How externalizing your gifts makes sharing them feel like service, not bragging. Believe in Others as Much as Yourself Why trusting the openness and curiosity of the people you're speaking to shifts your energy and confidence. Own Your Gifts Why fully embracing and sharing your talents is essential to living your purpose and making a difference. The Role of Service in Advocacy How approaching advocacy from a place of contribution removes the stigma of bragging. Practical Tips to Change Your Self-Talk From using "iliism" to adopting a service mindset, Heather shares tools to reframe doubt into empowerment. Resources & Links: 📖 Chatter by Ethan Kross – Learn more about self-talk strategies🎧 [Heather's conversation with Ethan Kross on The Elegant Warrior Podcast] In this episode: [00:00] Listener question: How do I advocate for myself without bragging? [02:00] Talk about your gifts as a "thing" separate from you [07:30] Believe in the people you're speaking to [11:50] Own your unique gifts with confidence [14:20] Advocacy as service vs. bragging [17:30] Final thoughts & invitation to send your questions to Heather Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

n today's episode, Heather speaks with Rebecca Heiss, evolutionary biologist, speaker, and author of Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You. Rebecca shares her groundbreaking perspective on stress, not as something to eliminate, but as a force you can reframe and harness. With her Fearless Stress Formula, she teaches how to stop fighting stress and instead use it as fuel for growth, resilience, and meaning. Rebecca's journey spans science, entrepreneurship, and personal challenge from founding an ice cream company to leading discomfort challenges and building communities. Together, she and Heather unpack the myths about stress and how you can shift your relationship with it to live a more powerful, purposeful life. In this episode, you'll learn: The Fearless Stress Formula: A three-part system to stop fearing stress and start working with it. It's Not a Tiger: How to recognize when your body's "danger" signals are overreacting to everyday life. Transforming Stress into Energy: Why reframing anxiety as excitement can boost your performance. Curiosity Over Fear: How asking questions interrupts stress spirals and shifts perspective. Trajectory and Action: Why small steps into discomfort matter more than avoidance. Post-Traumatic Growth: The surprising science that shows stress and growth can coexist. The Power of Community: How stress can actually deepen connection and why support systems matter. Resources & Links: 📖 Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You Get the book here🌐 Learn more about Rebecca's work rebeccaheiss.com🏀 Game Changer Basketball WeAreGameChanger.org Episode Highlights: [00:00] Meet Rebecca Heiss – scientist, author, and entrepreneur [04:54] The Fearless Stress Formula: It's Not a Tiger [09:41] Stress as a sign of meaning and purpose [11:12] Transforming stress into excitement and energy [14:53] Why curiosity and fear can't coexist [17:57] The power of trajectory and action [22:03] Learned helplessness vs. agency [26:13] Post-traumatic stress and post-traumatic growth [29:41] Building community with Game Changer Basketball [32:57] Hope and the importance of support systems Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

No one likes the feeling of being misunderstood. It can create frustration, conflict, and even missed opportunities, whether in the courtroom, the boardroom, or at home. In this episode, Heather Hansen shares three powerful steps to move from feeling unseen and unheard to becoming the "queen of your kingdom." Drawing from her decades as a trial attorney, her consulting work, and personal lessons, Heather shows why misunderstanding doesn't have to hold you back. Instead, it can be the very spark that strengthens your clarity, influence, and power. If you've ever felt dismissed, overlooked, or simply not "gotten," this conversation will help you turn confusion into connection. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your first choice of thought and feeling determines how others receive you How curiosity and compassion create pathways to understanding The importance of truly seeing the other person's perspective before trying to persuade Heather's three-step process: Choose, Understand, Advocate How to master "the art of the ask" by using stories, evidence, and energy Why delight, not resentment, is your greatest advantage when communicating Resources & Mentions: 📚 The Elegant Warrior by Heather Hansen ✉️ Join Heather's weekly newsletter for stories, strategies, and updates 🌐 Learn more about Heather's consulting and coaching at ElegantWarrior.com Episode Timestamps: [00:01] The universal challenge of being misunderstood [02:00] The "Martian" metaphor for communication gaps [03:18] Lessons from defending doctors in medical malpractice cases [05:45] Step 1: Choose your thoughts and feelings [08:08] Step 2: Understand their perspective before persuading [12:53] Step 3: Advocate with stories, evidence, and energy [15:15] Stepping into your power by mastering communication ✨ Quote of the Episode: "Choose, understand, advocate. When you do, you'll transform being misunderstood into being powerfully understood." – Heather Hansen Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.