The Exploring Introvert with Mariella Franker, PhD

Unexpected news this week. For this Sept update, I'm coming live to you from Suriname after hearing that my father is ill. When you're a cross-cultural introvert and you live abroad, these situations are tough.🧭 Sign up for Exploring Introvert newsletter: ⁠thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠📍 Visit my website: ⁠⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠⁠📧 Email me: ⁠contact@thefrankermessage.com⁠)🔗 Find me on ⁠LinkedIn ⁠or ⁠Instagram⁠: @mariellafranker

Hi there, explorers! This month has been all about getting things ready for the Habit Building Basics Tasters that are happening next week. Most of my time working hours has been going towards that.You can sign up here: ⁠https://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics⁠On a personal note, we're doing some small renovations and it's pretty messy in our home. Our son has a tent going on in the living room, he calls it his secret laboratory...My son and I are also participating in the five-kilometer, four-day walk (avond 4 daagse). It's a big thing in the Netherlands. 5 km is a lot for a little kid – it takes us about 2 hours. But it’s actually a lot of fun and the whole neighborhood comes out, people stand along the sidewalks to give candy to the kids and cheer you on. Today is the last night, wish us luck!Instead of our usual monthly update, we’re revisiting a previous episode this time.I’ve been talking to a lot of people about Building a Second Brain(BASB), the book by Tiago Forte.This is a topic that a lot of people are interested in. It's one of the most popular episodes of the Exploring Introvert, so this topic is definitely going to come back!Let’s revisit the previous episode where I tell you all about Tiago Forte’s system and maybe it can give you some ideas of how BASB could be helpful to you.✅ Join Habit Building Basics: ⁠https://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics⁠📍Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠📧 Email me: ⁠contact@thefrankermessage.com⁠

Breaking a Bad Habit: An Introvert's Journey from Social Media Exhaustion to Mindful Language LearningEver found yourself doom scrolling through social media when you're exhausted, only to feel more drained afterward? As an introvert and certified habit coach, I discovered one day that I was spent 6 hours on Instagram reels.It was a wake up call!What started as a way to "relax" turned into a vicious cycle of exhaustion and procrastination.In this video, I'll share my personal experience and the science behind breaking a bad habit. You'll learn:Why the 21-day habit building rule is actually a myth (but can still be useful!)How to use the science of habit loops to transform your habitsA practical example of how I replaced social media doom scrolling with more productive activitiesWhy consistency matters less than you might thinkIf you're an introvert struggling with energy management and finding yourself caught in unhealthy habits, this video will show you how you can start to change that.Plus, discover how I went from 6 hours of reels to learning Spanish, getting better sleep, and feeling more accomplished at the end of each day. This isn't just about breaking a bad habit - it's about creating sustainable changes that work with your energy needs as an introvert.Subscribe for more insights on habit building, energy management, and productivity strategies specifically designed for introverts.---00:00 This month I dove into habit formation and breaking a bad habit00:43 My experiment to stop doom scrolling on IG reels01:41 When relaxation turns into a bad habit02:53 Truths and myths: How long before a habit become automatic and how important is consistency really?03:15 Three elements of habit building: CUE - BEHAVIOR - REWARD04:30 What’s the 21-day rul?07:30 You don't need to repeat a habit every day for it to be effective07:49 Even though it's a myth, the 21-day rule can still be useful09:07 How important is it to be consistent?10:47 breaking a bad habit: replacing doom scrolling with language learning14:03 What can you learn about habit building from this?---🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert Letters: https://go.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe📍 Visit my website: ⁠https://www.thefrankermessage.com/⁠🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker

January was a hectic month for 3 reasons: 1) My partner moved his gym to a new location, 2) We started the year off with a very sick little boy, 3) I worked on aligning The Exploring Introvert. Despite needing to clear my schedule for part of the month to care for our kid and to manage logistics at home with the gym move, I made good progress. The new home page of my website is out (have a look here) And you can now find The Exploring Introvert on all my social channels. Although I’m only active on LinkedIn at the moment, I aligned all my socials to make them consistent. Of course, I’ll still be tweaking things here and there (I love to tweak things) the ‘red thread’ is there and I love seeing it all come together! Despite making good progress under the circumstances, my inner critic did flare up. Criticizing everything from my parenting choices to my work attitude. “Shouldn’t you take your kid to the hospital? Why are you even working? You should be here 100% for your child. You’re such a bad mother.” “Why didn’t you get more done for work this week? Yes, your child is sick but you’re a business owner and you should be getting after it.” “Look at that post, that person is doing so much better than you. I knew it, you’re never going to make this business work.” Have you noticed that when you’re especially tired, the inner critic becomes louder? The inner critic can get downright nasty. Comparing you to others and pointing out all the tiny mistakes that you’re making. Like a bully blasting an annoying song on repeat. The critic can hold on to old patterns (one of mine is to forgo rest and to give everything that I have, only to run on empty). The critic can suck up the little energy that you have left. It will try to push you to do things that make sense on paper but that typically take you farther away from what you really need. Proper mental rest. That’s why I believe that knowing how to pace yourself is an undervalued skill, especially for introverts. Learn more in this month’s update. --- 00:00 My biggest lesson this month: knowing how to pace yourself is an undervalued skill 01:18 Moving my partner's gym 03:01 Combining family and career 05:42 Further aligning 🧭 The Exploring Introvert 07:38 Building a support network as an entrepreneur 08:54 Learning to pace myself 11:04 “If you only have 40% and you gave 40%, then you gave 100%” - Jim Kwik 11:40 If you’re an introvert with a strong inner critic --- 🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠ 📍 Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠ 🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker ---

I’ve been a bit absent from the podcast but a lot has been happening behind the scenes. A short chapter today to update you on what’s been going on and what’s coming for the podcast. We’re talking about one word that ties this community of introverts together and the NEW NAME OF THE PODCAST! We’re also taking on a new format for the podcast: fewer but more regular updates once a month. New monthly updates will be released now every first Thursday of the month. We’ll look back at the past month and what I’m currently researching, experimenting with, and what I’ve learned. If you want a little bit more or prefer written summaries, sign up for my newsletter 🧭 THE EXPLORING INTROVERT for my best eye-opening and empowering lessons for introverts in your inbox twice a month: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠ I’m excited - and a little bit nervous - about these changes. I’m working hard to improve the podcast and I’ll do my very best to make it worth while your attention. Thank you for hanging out with me today, have a great Christmas, and I’ll see you again on January 2nd 👋 --- 00:00 Update and what’s been happening behind the scenes 00:28 The Exploring Introvert (new podcast name!!) 01:26 Tying it together 02:19 What’s going to happen? 03:37 New chapters once a month 04:49 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert newsletter 05:40 See you again on Jan 2nd! --- Sign up for 🧭 The Exploring Introvert newsletter: ⁠thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠ Visit my website: thefrankermessage.com Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariellafranker/

Maybe you’ve experienced this before: You were doing well with your healthy habits but now things just feel hard. You start skipping a day. Then another day. Then another day. You start to feel guilty. You start slipping back into old patterns and unhealthy habits you wanted to change. It’s probably not the first time this has happened either and you start wondering what’s wrong with you and why you’re just not disciplined enough. A lot of people struggle with this situation. In fact, in a survey that I sent out, across platforms 44% of people said that falling into old patterns is the #1 reason why they can’t seem to make their healthy habits stick. This is related to the habit bottleneck that we’re going to talk about today: the off-the-wagon misunderstanding. And I’m not talking about drinking alcohol, as this expression is often used. Everyone has run into this habit bottleneck in their lives. It’s when things feel really chaotic and it’s really hard to stay on top of things. The off-the-wagon-misunderstanding can happen when you’re trying to learn a new habit, when you’re circumstances have changed or when you’ve done something that’s really drained your energy and you’re trying to keep everything together. In this chapter of the podcast, we’re going to talk about how this habit bottleneck can get in the way of managing your personal energy and what introverts can do to remove the off-the-wagon bottleneck. 00:00 Falling into old patterns is a common habit bottleneck 01:55 Welcome to productive introvert community 02:29 Feeling like you've fallen off the wagon? 04:25 Shifting your focus 06:32 Figuring out your Peace Of Mind area 09:08 Recharging your energy is key for introverts — ▶️ Suggest a topic for a future episode: ⁠https://forms.gle/tNjvPHBJBF4JucCn6⁠ ▶️ Get on the waitlist for the free gift bundle ‘Successfully planning your day for introverts: Discover a willpower-free way to learn healthy habits easily - no matter how busy or overwhelmed you are’: go.thefrankermessage.com/waitlist ▶️ Blog and client stories: ⁠⁠https://www.thefrankermessage.com/blog⁠⁠ ▶️ Follow me on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariellafranker/⁠⁠ — 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

Hi there, introverted solopreneur 🤗 If you work solo most of the time like me, it can get tough to stay motivated. You may have asked yourself: “How do I stay motivated?” or "What should I do if I'm not motivated?” My answer: focus on the small wins. Especially in the midst of the holiday season, there’s so much pressure to do this or that. It’s a busy time and one person might be telling you to slow down and take a much needed break while another might be urging you to make this your most productive month this year yet..! Whether you’re in a season of slowing down or ramping up… focusing on small wins is a great hack to boost motivation and to show you the progress that you’re making. You don’t have to wait for the end of the year to appreciate how far you’ve come either. In this video, we'll delve into the power of celebrating small wins, an important way to maintain motivation. Even with the distractions and challenges of solopreneurship. It’s often overlooked but these small moments of progress are key to staying motivated. I’ll share with you how I made celebrating small wins a regular part of your routine to give you some inspiration how you can boost your motivation levels consistently. Celebrate your introverted solopreneur journey. It's about understanding that motivation isn't a constant state, but something that ebbs and flows. And most importantly, it's about equipping you with the tools to navigate this journey with confidence and resilience. Join me to talk more about these topics. Let's keep the motivation alive and continue to build the businesses we love by celebrating every small win along the way. — ▶️ Book a FREE call to reveal Your Habit Style and walk away with a 1-page pdf about your personal habit building process: https://calendly.com/thefrankermessage/reveal-my-habit-style — ▶️ Join Productive Introvert Letters for weekly insights from a certified habit coach for introverted solopreneurs: go.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe — ▶️ Blog and client stories: https://www.thefrankermessage.com/blog — ▶️ Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariellafranker/ — 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

In this episode, we're talking about discipline and how it often creates a sense of struggle for many introverts. Many of my introverted coaching clients feel that they lack discipline or wish that they were more disciplined. They tend to get caught in overthinking, analysis paralysis or "research mode", where they constantly research and consume information without taking action. But there's an interesting contrast between how they perceive their own discipline and their actual behaviors: while they don't think of themselves as disciplined, they are really disciplined when it comes to activities that they're naturally interested in, sometimes spending hours honing their skills or knowledge. We often have negative associations with the word "discipline". Most people immediately think of punishment or being forced to do things that you don't enjoy. This is not surprising at all! But it's not necessarily true. Instead, let's explore the idea that discipline doesn't have to be hard or forced but can align with your natural interests and strengths. Let this podcast encourages you to reflect on your own associations with discipline and to reframe it in a more positive light. You can find ways to apply a natural discipline to your work that allows you to make progress and to create meaningful outcomes. ▶️ Book a free call with Mariella to reveal your habit style:: https://forms.gle/XpVZp4LMPcBQGoVMA ▶️ Sign up for Productive Introvert Letters and get Mariella's free training bundle "From stressed to focused introverted entrepreneur with this simple daily practice": https://www.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe ▶️ Connect with Mariella on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamfranker/ 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

As I was working 1-1 with introverts and questions that they had about improving low energy, I noticed a common thread that was keeping them stuck: their habits. I discovered that there are 3 different habit styles: the Builder's Mortar, the Painter's Palette, and the Chef's Cookbook. In this episode, I'm gonna give you a short introduction on the 3 habit styles and why it’s important to know your habit style for example when you're working on a morning routine. Are you having trouble to adopt a morning routine or to make a habit stick beyond 2 weeks? Schedule a free call with me to reveal your habit style. In this 30 minute call, we’ll reveal your habit style and you'll get a 1-page summary of your habit style with a framework for your personal habit building process so you can stop feeling like you're forcing yourself to stick to a habit and to make it feel easy instead. ▶️ Book a free call with Mariella to reveal your habit style:: https://forms.gle/XpVZp4LMPcBQGoVMA ▶️ Sign up for Productive Introvert Letters and get Mariella's free training bundle "From stressed to focused introverted entrepreneur with this simple daily practice": https://www.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe ▶️ Connect with Mariella on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamfranker/ 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

I've been struggling a little bit with actually coming on the podcast every week. It's a part of life. I don't know many people personally, who also host a podcast, but like other things in life, I imagine it's like this right up and down, up and down and that there come times when you kind. You fall out of love with something for a little while, and you have to re-find your rhythm. ▶️ Book a free call with Mariella to reveal your habit style:: https://forms.gle/XpVZp4LMPcBQGoVMA ▶️ Get Mariella's free training bundle "From stressed to focused introverted entrepreneur with this simple daily practice": https://www.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe ▶️ Connect with Mariella on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamfranker/ 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

A lot of the times when we feel stuck, we think that motivation is the problem. It causes us to either sit there and wait until we feel motivated or until inspiration hits and we do nothing (procrastinating, sometimes overthinking). Or we're all over the place, doing lots of stuff but never feeling like we're actually accomplishing anything ("business", sometimes overthinking 😆). In today's podcast, we're talking about why overly relying on motivation is one of the biggest mistakes I see people make that keep them stuck. We'll talk about why overly relying on motivation isn't a very helpful long-term strategy and why it's more effective to focus on habits and systems instead. I'll also give examples of 2 area's in my life where habits and systems have helped me a lot to feel more energized and productive. ✳️ Introducing more quiet time into my workday ✳️ Getting delicious and nutritious meals on the table for my family every day (as someone who doesn't like cooking!) Related episode: What's the deal with quiet time? Related episode: Do you feel unmotivated? ▶️ Book a free call with Mariella to reveal your habit style:: https://forms.gle/XpVZp4LMPcBQGoVMA ▶️ Get Mariella's free training bundle "From stressed to focused introverted entrepreneur with this simple daily practice": https://www.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe ▶️ Connect with Mariella on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamfranker/ 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

**This episode is released later than planned due to technical issues with the editing software. Thank you for waiting!** Today, we’re talking about one of the biggest mistakes I see people make when they’re trying to decide what next step to take: they create “fake conditionality” between different actions. Surely in 80% of the situations when I see people do this, there’s really no conditionality at all and fake conditionality keeps them stuck and procrastinating on the things they actually want to do. As for me, I’m in the middle of some exciting changes and restructuring things in my business and at home. Especially in times like these, I also need to remind myself to avoid fake conditionality and to focus in on doing the most important things. Time and energy are limited resources after all and we need to be respectful and intentional about how we spend it! ▶️ Book a free call with Mariella to reveal your habit style:: https://forms.gle/XpVZp4LMPcBQGoVMA ▶️ Get Mariella's free training bundle "From stressed to focused introverted entrepreneur with this simple daily practice": https://www.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe ▶️ Connect with Mariella on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamfranker/ 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez

"What you do now is so different from what you did before, do you ever miss your old job?"   I get asked this question regularly by people who have known me a long time, especially family.   The short answer to this question is no.    The long answer is in this podcast episode 😉   I trained for 10 years as a molecular biologist and I used to spend my time either pipetting in a lab or behind a microscope. Even though, I enjoyed working in the lab and also the roles I had after, people are sometimes surprised when I tell them that I don’t miss my old job.    The simple fact is that we all go through a natural evolution in our lives. Embracing this natural evolution in yourself as well as your roles in your work, leads to a more fulfilling and joyful life.    What may have been right for you 5 years ago, may not be right for you anymore in the next 5 years. And that's very normal!   We’re often held back from making changes because we think we’ll disappoint people or that having a fulfilling life just isn’t in the cards for us right now.  I’m here to tell you that it is. It’s closer to you than you think to live a meaningful and fulfilling life and it’s simpler than you think to get there from where you are now.  ▶️ Book a free call with Mariella to reveal your habit style:: https://forms.gle/XpVZp4LMPcBQGoVMA ▶️ Get Mariella's free training bundle "From stressed to focused introverted entrepreneur with this simple daily practice":  https://www.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe ▶️ Connect with Mariella on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamfranker/ 🎵 Andrés Rodríguez