The Fink Tank

If you’re a member of the Dead Parent Club, today’s Fink Tank is for you.Our dad Tony died 27 years ago. On his anniversary yesterday we honoured him in Col’s shed. I’m now about the same age as Dad was as I remember him. When I was younger all I could see were the differences. As I’ve aged, I’ve been quietly chuffed to grow into the similarities. I love seeing echos of his character in Col.We’re all a reflection of our parents, for better or worse. Tony was a wonderful dad, so most similarities are for better. Apart from Col inheriting a filthy smoking habit for a decade. And my penchant for leaving things to the absolute last minute*. If you’ve lost a parent, we’d love to hear from you.

If you’re hurtling toward Christmas in a hectic hot mess, here’s the good news:That’s fine. It’s what November is for.If things are STILL chaotic in February, we might have issues. Our great mate and friend of the show Digby Scott writes an annual “Christmas won’t fix it” newsletter. In the spirit of nuanced debate for which social media is revered, The Fink Tank offers this response:He’s wrong.Christmas WILL fix it. Life and work come in cycles. There's an end-of-year frenzy, then we chill out for a while. Feeling frazzled isn't ideal, but Col thinks it might be a sign your business is... businessing.Here are two Fink Tank approved suggestions for the end-of-year rush:1. Suck it up for a couple more weeks then enjoy your break.2. Cross some things off your to-do list without doing them.And yes, Digby's right about avoiding toxic cycles and the dangers of running on empty. You can read his excellent newsletter here (and follow him if you don’t already) https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/christmas-wont-fix-digby-scott-tuxpc/We’ll leave you with this quote, which I stole from his newsletter:"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you." - Anne Lamott

Is it just us, or is everyone else already bored with AI generated stuff?The explosion of prompt-generated videos WITH OUR OWN FACES in fantastical scenarios is astonishing. And also dull. It’s eye-catching, but devoid of any substance. There’s zero emotional investment.Video calls with 10-year-old Harriet often involve her head turning into a skull with rainbows pouring out of its ears, or a cute giraffe in a sombrero. The software tracks her facial expressions, and the cartoon head mimics her eyebrows and mouth movements with incredible accuracy. And it’s awful.These technological advancements are exciting and interesting for a short burst, and then…. we’re bored.Is AI generated art destined to live out its days in the Metaverse? Ha! Remember the Metaverse???Col Fink and I are probably already behind on the hype cycle conversation. There’s plenty of talk about the AI financial bubble, and when it might pop.In the meantime, keep being you. Do the work, write your newsletter, record your videos. The need for genuine humanity isn’t going anywhere. The fear of obsolescence in a world of AI hopefully is.PS. Would AI generate face shadows on Col's head and terrible lighting in the opening frame of this video?? No, you need a real human videographer for that!!

My Airbnb roommate was a Hollywood movie star. I had no idea. I was at the Toronto Greek Film Festival for Ange & The Boss, and the organiser said, “You’ve got a roommate tonight. You’ll like him.”Five minutes later, he’s pointing at me going, “Wait… you’re the guy who made that Ange Postecoglou film?”Turns out he knew half the people in it. He’d actually PLAYED with them in the 1980s.His name was Costas Mandylor. When injury cut his football career short, he pursued acting. Quite successfully, it turned out!You’ve probably seen him without realising. Picket Fences. The SAW movies. Cameos in shows like Sex & the City.For the next two days, I got a quiet masterclass in confidence. Not arrogance, just ease. Costas was affable, generous, memorable, magnetic.It got me thinking: was his charisma a reflection of his stardom… or the reason he became a star?In this week’s Fink Tank, Col and I dig into conviction and success, and where it comes from.Also, you should see his film The Aegean. He's the lead actor, he barely says a word in the entire film, and his performance is mesmerising.

Ever meet someone’s family and think, ah, that explains everything?Mum, Col, and his eldest son Deakin came to visit us in Wellington. Our collective Fink quirks, gathered in the McKay family home (portmanteau options include FcKay or McKink, pronounced with relish), were suddenly much more visible to me than usual.We like to imagine we’re all unique, self-made individuals. But truthfully, most of us are just slightly modified versions of our parents. Flawed apples rolling a short distance from the tree.Meeting the tree, as it were, can be enlightening.Annoying traits become more forgivable when you see them in siblings and parents. At least that’s what I hoped as I watched Col unknowingly commit Finkish faux pas I’ve spent years trying to adjust in myself.That doesn’t excuse any of us from doing the work. From knowing ourselves and taking what friend of the show Di Foster calls radical responsibility. I love that phrase.But we’re all deeply flawed humans, requiring constant forgiveness. David Whyte’s poem on friendship might be the best articulation ever written of what enduring relationships truly demand.At the very least, if you find someone a bit annoying but want to keep liking them, meet their family.

Do I want to eat more Twisties?If they’re within arms reach, apparently yes. But actually, no. We’re on the way to pick up a planishing hammer (bonus points if you have any idea what a planishing hammer is. I didn’t), and Col has a huge open packet of Twisties in the centre console.After a few mouthfuls I’ve had enough sickly orange grubs, yet I lack the self-control to stop shovelling them into my face. So I give the packet to Col to stash in his car door.Why?I have total agency no matter where the Twisties packet is. Yet I need to introduce a hurdle to change my behaviour. It’s stupid and irrational. And very human.Moving the packet changes what economist Richard Thaler calls my “choice architecture”. Choice architecture plays a huge role in determining whether our behaviour aligns with our goals. Best intentions usually aren’t enough. Whether it’s resisting Twisties, keeping an exercise routine, staying in contact with friends, or getting to bed on time. Or posting videos. I was utterly stuck at the start of 2020. I flogged myself trying to establish a video presence, but couldn’t post a thing. After weeks of floundering, Alicia McKay and Peter Cook flipped my approach. They held me to account to ditch my perfectionism and post weekly phone videos for a month. I was up and running.Sometimes small shifts lead to huge results.In this weeks Fink Tank, Col and I talk about choice architecture experiments, and how to get the best out of ourselves.

Who cares most about my expanding bald patch?Me. Nobody else gives a shit.Except it’s kinda news to me. Some recent video footage really tells it like it is! When else do I see the back of my own head?Video shows us as we truly are, not as we imagine ourselves. One of my jobs is helping people get comfortable with how they show up on camera. It's tricky territory, and most people find this confronting to the point they'll often choose total avoidance.Nearly everyone has a complex about some aspect of their appearance.But that thing you’re self-conscious about? There’s a good chance everyone else has either a) not noticed, or b) accepted it without judgement.They’re too worried about their own shit to care about yours.YES I REALISE I AM IN DANGEROUS TERRITORY HERE. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS HUGE CAVEAT FOR PATRIARCHY AND MISOGYNY BIAS, ABLEISM AND PRIVILEGE AND ALL OF THE THINGS.Those factors are real and true and I’m not here to judge your experience. These barriers can be hard to overcome.But Col and I both work with people who are the face of their business. And typically, the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more successful you’ll be.Your hair, face, weight, voice, teeth, mannerisms - ALL OF IT - is already what people see every day. Show up anyway. It’s better for your business and your soul.