The Love Theorist

The podcast is a response to contemporary media representations of people who are treated as less than human due to being seen as outsiders to mainstream society. A recent comment by an Australian politician that ‘there are no good Muslims’ is indicative of an us-versus-them dangerous dichotomy. The language that is full of untruths and unfounded generalisations is a key step in social processes of dehumanization marginalisation.I explore my own stranger within as a way of showing how I have to grapple with not accepting aspects of myself. This can make me more reactive and less respectful of people who are strange to me. I cross link this to cultural/political commentaries from several leaders who speak from different religious and political stances. These leaders provide a vital moral boundary to vitriolic and harmful political and other public statements.For example, Stan Grant who is a First Nation social commentator and practicing Christian writes that we need to heed the way we talk about human beings. Derogatory language can position people as things/ objects, somehow not fully human and thereby not deserving of respect, protection and human rights.By welcoming strangers into Australian society – migrants, refugees and asylum seekers - we can provide an active resistance against fear, misinformation, self-centredness and prejudices such Xenophobia. I suggest that recognising and accepting the stranger within is one way to become more compassionate towards other people who embody that stranger in society.Your view on this topic is welcome and in closing, I wish to acknowledge anyone who feels they are treated disrespectfully because they are a stranger. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

Eco-anxiety describes the deep worry we can feel when we see very distressing things happening in the world. In particular, when so called natural disasters are wreaking havoc it is a level of anxiety that seems to have no end. Eco-anxiety gives a name to this distress and the powerlessness that often comes with it. It is caused by witnessing catastrophic events such as floods, fires, landslides, cyclones and droughts. In Australia is it not unusual to have severe floods in one part of the country and out of control wild fires in another part at the same time. You know it is something impacting you when watching or listening to a disaster unfolding and you feel the heightened unease, maybe panic and often deep dread, fear and distress. Sometimes we can’t get images out of our minds of suffering animals or people crying when they have just lost everything. This is of course, understandable.I would suggest that eco-anxiety is the proper response to what we see, hear and sometimes directly experience ourselves. However, we can become over-exposed to disasters and suffering such that our bodies become highly sensitised and we may be unable to calm our nervous system and function with some sense of personal control in our lives. Behind the eco-anxiety sits the risk of losing hope that the world will be OK, that nature will recover, that people will recover and that we can still be sure the world will be liveable for us all.Doing what we can to hold hope for ourselves and sometimes for others, is something we can do on a day by day basis. It is not easy and it is not a skill that is taught. There are though, many ways to foster hope and pay it forward in acts of kindness. For example, keeping our focus on people who are making positive contributions in the world can really help us. Jane Goodall has inspired people all over the world and one of her key messages is that in the face of hopelessness, do something! She says the smallest acts of care and kindness matter. It means we are not giving up in our distress, that we still want to make a contribution in the world. That we know what we do matters.The podcast shares my thoughts about how to transform deep worry about the world by practising hope each day, in little ways, and noting here that when called upon that we stand up to be counted more substantially. I dedicate this podcast to the incredible people - volunteers, neighbours, government workers and everyday people who step up - who respond to natural disasters, often putting their own lives at risk, to help others. That we continue to care gives me hope for our world, for to not care means we lose more than we need to. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

This podcast shines some light onto the troubling issue of workplace violence which can take many forms, and for our purpose today, I call bullying. The continuing harm caused by workplace bullying suggests it is a complex phenomenon that is multi-causal, involves multiple actors and targets, can be direct or indirect and not recognised as occurring or proactively addressed in trauma organised and trauma causing workplaces. I outline my early theorising about bullying by identifying the two key factors of desirability and threat. These factors exist on a continuum from high to low levels that intersect and create a grid whereby we can map the kinds of characteristics that workers who might get bullied have in each grid. [See the map map below]. The grid quadrant occupied by the classic target of bullies is described and alongside that the 3 other grid quadrants identify other potential targets.While the Grid describes workers’ behaviours and characteristics it is important to note that the issue of bullying is about power and abuse of power by the person who is acting in bullying ways or failing to stop it occurring. The Grid does not show the characteristics and behaviours of people who bully as it deserves its own attention. At the same time I would suggest that a focus on individuals’ behaviours can belie how authoritarian management and toxic workplace cultures are not only about individuals. The Target Threat/Desirability Grid is best considered a partial explanation of the reasons why bullying happens. In short, the Claras, Veras, Cathys and Sams of the workplace are not the reasons why bullying happens. But to the extent that their experiences holds a mirror to the causes, the Grid has some value. A draft mud map of the Grid:Do let me know what you think.I explore the issue of workplace violence on TikTok and Instagram and expand on it and the need for a love ethic informed approach in my book - Broken-heartedness: Towards love in professional practice published by Revolutionaries. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

If you are a fan of BTS this podcast is for you. If you have never heard of BTS - check it out to find what a BTS scholar and social worker have in common. We trace the ways we have influenced each other and our respective understandings of love from quite different antecedents and influences. Both of us sharing a passion and enjoyment of BTS as fans has enriched our writing and social media pieces and our understanding of love in a capitalist world where celebrity is mass produced but it can still provide messages of hope and the importance of self love.Many new subscribers have come to this podcast on the recommendation of The BTS Theorist. So it seems timely to make the links more explicit and perhaps to inspire some of my longer term subscribers to check out BTS - especially their music from the ‘love yourself era’. We discuss social work and BTS, and explain how BTS showed me how to speak up about the importance of love in social work in ways I had previously been reluctant to do. A big shout out to all ARMY’s today as it is ARMY day - BTS is lucky to have you all as their fans! You can find Wallea’s essays and other posts by googling The BTS Theorist, or accessing it via Substack, and by following her on Instagram. Thank you so much Wallea for your time and ideas today!! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

The real cause of burnout in the workplace can be summarised as failures of responsibility in the human services. These failures of responsibility by many actors in positions of authority in a hierarchy of service delivery have multiple unintended, and nevertheless seriously harmful, consequences. Burnout of front line workers is the most concerning symptom of systems’ failures. A system fails when the collectivity of all responsible actors are either acting in inadequate ways or failing to act when it is their responsibility to do so. Failures of responsibility create a cascading series of losses and harms down the hierarchy such that people can be situated as the weakest link and the problem. I’m using the words ‘weakest link’ from Sandra Bloom’s important writing on trauma-causing workplaces, and here caution us not to interpret it as us being weak. Rather it is a systemic manifestation of problems largely beyond our control. The weakest link can get located in our person because we might be least desirable to the powers that be, or the least important, or the least agreeable, one way or another we will be at the bottom of the pecking order, where it is ultra hard to be safe and to be heard.The podcast outlines a number of ways to resist burnout in these kinds of workplaces. For example - get support; monitor your self talk; support others (behind the scenes); stand your ground; trust your senses; recognise patterns in the workplace and be cautious in trusting smiling faces. All these resistance strategies have some cautionary notes so do check out the podcast for more details.Burnout is experienced personally but it is in a workplace which makes it professional ie work related, legal, organisational ie occupational health and safety, and ultimately a societal issue.You can read more about organisational violence and other issues that can cause us to feel burnout and morally injured in my book - Broken-heartedness: Towards love in professional practice. Available form the publisher - https://www.revolutionaries.com.au/books/p/bhAnd by following me on TikTok and Instagram.Thank you for your support and interest. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

These last months I have had the privilege of tutoring in two counselling courses which are about the nature of helping and the kinds of experience which cause people to seek out a counsellor, social worker or psychologist … and many other professions in the human services sector. We spent a lot of time looking at theories, models, techniques and resources to help people. I had an uneasy sense for most of the time that we weren’t considering the whole picture of what helping is about. I stood in front of my bookshelf one night puzzling over what was bothering me. I picked up the beautiful book by David Brandon - Zen in the art of helping - which he wrote in 1976. That’s how long I’ve been inspired by his writing.Brandon is a social worker and a practising Zen Buddhist monk. He explores the nature of helping from both these viewpoints and in so doing gives us an appreciation of what the idea of Zen - about nowness (and more) - can bring to our practice and lives. This podcast belongs in my set of podcasts in this collection of From my bookshelf, where I read excerpts from the book and make some additional comments of relevance to me and hopefully you, the listener.I find the idea of Zen - the presence that is shared between people who are of equal intrinsic worth - as being about love, really interesting. I hadn’t made that connection in my earlier re-readings of Brandon’s book. The place of compassion is an integral dimension of love in this Zen space and is where healing and connection can happen. Much of Brandon’s book recounts what gets in the way of helping that really helps. In particular, he uses his own experiences to caution about our own internal motivations, judgements, biases and vulnerabilities that can undermine the best of intentions. I also appreciate that he recognises the societal factors that make it so hard to really help another person.From this reading, I now aim to include the idea of Zen into my theory of love with its call to be aware, to be willing to keep learning, especially with and from the person we might be seeking to help. And to also always be alert to power inequalities both interpersonally in our work and home places … and to act to cause no harm arises due to these inequalities.Drop me a note in comments and tell me what you think. Thanks for your support.Information about the source book for this podcast:Brandon, D. (1976). Zen in the art of helping. England: Arkana Penguin Books.My theory of love is presented in my book:Ross, D. (2023). Broken-heartedness: Towards love in professional practice. Brisbane: Revolutionaries.Contact me:dyann@dyannross.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

Tropical Cyclone Alfred provides an opportunity, albeit unwelcome, to make some comments on my experience and gives me a chance to also comment on a concern I think needs some attention. As one of 4 1/2 million people in the direct line of threat as the cyclone approached the south east area of Queensland, my own experience is perhaps indicative of others, even though the impact directly on me and my home was limited to heavy rain. My main concern is that there is perhaps not enough credence given to the extreme, intense emotions people went through in the mainstream media. The reporting was very comprehensive in terms of the weather system and how it was impacting the built and natural environments. Yet I had trouble finding a sufficient acknowledgement of the extreme threat, profound unsettling and deeply exhausting emotions many people would be experiencing. This can lead to a misfit between what we are feeling and what is being acknowledged in public. As a result we can underestimate the stress, emotional strain and even trauma we are experiencing that more than likely needs us to take extra care of ourselves and each other at this time.I share some of my emotional intensity and challenges as an example of what I have not communicated yet to anyone, in the days after the cyclone reaching landfall. Not to take away from many people wishing me safety during this time. That matters but it is probably the case that thousands if not millions of people are still grappling with the trauma, if not from their own circumstances, then because of what we have witnessed happening to others.Disaster upon disaster can take its toll and erode our resilience. Enquiring how others are and being willing to acknowledge the depth and severity of their experience is something we can all do going forward.You can support my work by following me on TikTok and Instagram and my book, Broken-heartedness, gives other examples of harm and trauma that causes our hearts to break, and what we can do about this. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

In this podcast I want to share with you another dimension of my evolving theory of love which seeks to guide us in how to respond to peoples’ experiences of broken-heartedness. I proceed by sharing some ideas from Peter Marris’s 1974 book - Loss and change. His main argument is that the meaning we make of loss deeply affects how we negotiate bereavement. He suggests that for some of us we might not be able to make sense of what has happened to the extent our own ability to keep going is compromised. Marris refers to loss and change in our personal relationships and also in our community and the world. The meaning making process we each undertake is influenced by socio-cultural factors as well as our own life experiences, including how secure we feel in our relationships (attachments) with others.I find these ideas help me understand why some types of loss - eg. where there has been unfairness and/or violence - cause deep wounds in our hearts. Further, our personal experiences of unfairness and how we try to grieve and address that treatment can be compounded by our awareness of, or direct involvement in, social issues and events where there is unfairness and violence. For individuals, whole groups and communities where injustice is rife, there can be a collapse of ability to make meaning of what is happening, sufficient to maintain hope and a sense of fairness being possible. An implication is that seeking to understand the meaning people attribute to their experience can help us be more relevant in how we might seek to support them. Additionally, where people are experiencing compounding loss and change their grief is likely to be complex and deepen into broken-heartedness.Thank you for your interest, do let me know what you think of this post. You can follow me on instagram - @drdyannross - and TikTok - @drdyannross. My book, Broken-heartedness, provides more details on the causes of broken-heartedness and how love practices can be drawn upon to address lovelessness. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

You might be surprised to know that love is not part of social work as shown by its absence in official documents about social work’s values and social justice mission. This is not to say it is not integral to how some social workers practice but there is little research-based evidence of love in social work. This podcast puts the argument that love is needed for social justice to matter. Further, that social workers’ professional integrity can be enabled by adopting a love informed ethical positionality to address oppression (injustice) of all kinds.I conducted a systematic literature review with Dilip Karki, a colleague of mine, to ascertain if other social workers were researching and writing about love in social work. We found 16 articles met the search criteria of English language, using the words love and social work that were published in the last ten years. I provide a summary of many of these articles to show the diversity of ways love is thought about and practiced. For example, in Norway, the national government has passed legislation whereby social workers need to use love in how they engage with young people. A Catholic University mandates that all its programs are premised on caritas which is the Latin word for love. This article explores how students in a Master of Social Work program understand caritas in a case study as part of their assessment. Articles by social work educators, a social work student, community development practitioners, child safety workers, criminal justice lived experience co-researchers provide just some of the diversity of ways love is used in social work.Potential challenges in adopting love are identified such as the risk of blurring professional boundaries, the extra pressure on already over stretched practitioners and the potential for misunderstanding of how to practice with love in unequal relationships.If you are interested in any of the mentioned articles, please drop me a note in comments and include a contact email address.You can follow me on Tik Tok @drdyannross and Instagram @drdyannross This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

An interest in love and nonviolence brings me to the focus in this podcast on the issue of bullying in the workplace. Whatever form bullying takes it is violence and most workplaces have policies backed up by occupational health and safety legislation that makes it unacceptable behaviour. It is about lovelessness as a power strategy to gain favors with the boss, survive in an unsafe workplace and so on. The example of gossiping or back-biting involves often hidden micro-aggressions against an absent colleague. While commonplace, the harm cannot be over stated. For example, reputational harm occurs when a person is repeatedly talked about in negative ways behind their backs. This behaviour is hard to confront but is felt by the absent person when they are typically not included in key events and opportunities. The exclusionary behaviour and judgemental attitudes can cause heartache and serious health impacts for the person. The podcast brings a lens as well to myself, and you the listener, and asks us to carefully reflect on whether we are complicit in these micro aggressions against another colleague. Good people can bully and be bullied - which is not to say that bullying is ever ok even if you think you are a good person - and this complexity can be further compounded by an unsafe workplace culture. It can be unsafe to call out the back-biting in such situations. A negative halo is created not only around the target of the back-biting, but also around the person doing it. Our professional integrity can be seriously compromised by how we act and also by the reality of having to work in a workplace that is not proactively addressing the issue. Getting safe, preferably external, supervision and in its absence, keeping our own counsel if we need to support others are two ways to begin to resist the harm caused by back-biting.The YouTube videos I refer to are:Jordan Petersen (2023) The power of gossip and the cost of reputational damage;Galen Emannele (2022) How to shut down toxic talk and gossip at work; andGlenn Rolfsen (2016) How to start changing an unhealthy work environment.You can follow me on instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drdyannrossand TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.dyann.rossMy book Broken-heartedness: Towards love in professional practice (2023) provides more details on how love and nonviolence can be practised in unsafe contexts and places. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

As a social work educator it is important to think deeply and carefully about the values and ethics that guide my teaching. The next generation of social workers at universities are wanting to know how to make a difference in the world. They tell me their main motivation is helping people who have experienced trauma, loss and injustice. Just what might really help people is what social work degrees are all about. For me, the ethic of love, which has informed all the great nonviolent social and environmental movements across the planet, is a central part of helping people. In this podcast I show how love can be expressed in social work practice with examples such as the ability to be present and show empathy to the other person. This interlinks with the ability to listen deeply which comes from really caring about what the person is saying and what is important to them. Closely related is the ability to stand with people who have been harmed, treated unfairly and are discriminated against. Love for people means justice for them really matters. This commitment to enabling social justice is the other key ethic of social work. It involves knowing how to understand what causes injustice and how to partner with people to address the harm and unfairness. Holding hope when a person lacks hope and supporting a person’s dignity in dehumanising situations are needed for love to be experienced.I hope you find my ideas useful in validating what you already do to practice love at work. My most recent book - Broken-heartedness: Towards love in professional practice, published by Revolutionaries - details more examples of love practices for social work and other helping professions. It can be purchased at https://www.revolutionaries.com.au/books/p/bhYou can follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/drdyannrossThis podcast is also available on You Tube by searching for the video with the same title. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com

As a social worker, I have often worked with people who describe their experiences as being broken-hearted or heart-breaking. For many years I failed to recognise this recurring language in peoples’ stories. This is a podcast that defines broken-heartedness and explains how I regard broken-heartedness as a crucial tool for social workers to build our understanding of the depths of harm and loss the people we engage with may be experiencing. Specifically, broken-heartedness is a socio-emotional phenomenon that goes beyond the medical diagnosis of ‘broken-hearted syndrome’. In medical terms this syndrome is occurring when extreme stress damages the muscles of the heart. It can lead to heart disease and heart attacks. The purpose for social workers is not to diagnose or to impose the label of broken-heartedness on people we work with. Rather, the aim is to sensitise us to the social, political and economic factors that can directly impact peoples’ well-being and can lead to broken-heartedness. As such it can guide social workers in responding with deep empathy, in listening to peoples’ stories and in recognising how violence and injustice can cause broken-heartedness. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelovetheorist.substack.com