The PDA Parenting Podcast

What if PDA isn't a behavior problem at all? In this episode, Amy explores a powerful shift in perspective that can change how parents understand PDA. Instead of viewing avoidance, refusal, aggression, or meltdowns as the problem, what if these behaviors are actually signals from a nervous system working hard to stay safe? Drawing on the work of Robyn Gobbel, Mona Delahooke, Bruce Perry, and emerging PDA research, Amy discusses the connection between autonomy, anxiety, nervous system st...

After a break for health and recovery, Amy returns with a powerful conversation on boundaries, unpredictability, and nervous system regulation. If you’ve ever felt like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster - hopeful one moment and overwhelmed the next - this episode will help you understand why unpredictability feels so destabilizing and how to stay steady through it. Amy explores the connection between control, codependency patterns, and parenting, and reframes boundaries as internal anchors...

Traditional parenting programs often don’t work for PDA families - not because parents aren’t trying hard enough, but because the structure itself creates pressure. In this episode, I share why I stopped offering a weekly parenting class and what flexible, PDA-informed support can look like instead. What if the problem isn’t you - or your child - but the structure of the support you’ve been offered? In this episode, I’m sharing why I stopped offering a traditional weekly parenting class for P...

What happens when learning shuts down - at school, at home, everywhere? In Part One of this two-part conversation, I’m joined by educator and consultant Danielle Rodda to talk about why learning becomes unsafe for so many PDA and neurodivergent kids. In this episode, we explore: Why compliance-based education doesn’t work for PDA nervous systemsHow school trauma and chronic pressure shut learning downWhy “more supports” still aren’t enoughThe emotional weight parents carry when nothing seems ...

In this episode, Amy explores why some kids - especially adopted, autistic, or PDA-identifying kids - avoid talking about their story, whether it’s adoption, trauma, or a new diagnosis. Using personal experiences from raising her two daughters, she explains how these conversations activate the nervous system and why avoidance is often about safety, not refusal. You’ll learn how to share your child’s story without triggering demand avoidance, how to “drip in” information gently over time, and ...

In this heartfelt episode, Amy opens up about a recent family crisis that brought her to her knees - and the quiet resilience that helped her rise again. Through personal reflection, she explores the science of co-regulation, the role of community in healing, and what clinical psychologist Dr. Matt Zakreski calls “psychological capital” - hope as something we can actively build through small acts of connection. You’ll leave with compassion, clarity, and a practical 5-step plan for crisis mome...

Parenting a PDA teen means our role is always evolving - and nowhere is that more clear than during big life transitions like starting college, a first job, or moving away from home. In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha shares how scaffolding, cues of safety, and collaborative strategies can help PDA teens and young adults navigate overwhelming changes without collapsing under the weight of demands. Drawing on neuroscience, polyvagal theory, and her own experience supportin...

What is it really like to grow up with a sibling who has PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) autism? In this powerful episode, I sit down with my daughter Devika -an autistic, ADHD teen herself - to talk about her personal experience as the sister of a PDA child. Devi shares openly about the emotional ups and downs, how family dynamics were affected, and what helped her feel seen in a home where one child needed constant support. This heartfelt conversation touches on the invisible sibling ro...

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Amy is joined by her daughter Maya - who shares her lived experience as a PDA autistic teen. Together, they explore the PDA experience of feeling trapped: at school, in the medical system, and inside her own mind. From second-grade meltdowns to high school shutdowns to hospital sensory overwhelm, Maya speaks candidly about what “feeling trapped” really means for someone with a PDA profile. Amy and Maya discuss nervous system overwhelm, the import...

In this reflective solo episode, Amy Kotha shares a deeply personal story about parenting her PDA daughter through a major life transition - and how her daughter’s struggles unexpectedly derailed her own plans. Amy explores what happens when parenting a child with PDA autism pulls us off our own path and into their emotional storms. From delayed podcast launches to insights about co-regulation, enmeshment, and grace, this episode offers validation and practical wisdom for parents feeling stuc...

In this inaugural episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, host Amy Kotha - parent coach and mom to a teen with PDA autism - introduces the concept of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Learn about the key characteristics of PDA, its impact on children's behavior, and why understanding this profile is crucial for effective parenting. Amy shares her personal journey navigating the complexities of raising a child with PDA, shedding light on the challenges and breakthroughs along the way. This ep...